Twas the night before Hearths Warming, and there was only one thing she wanted this year: Apple Bloom.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ow my sides, they burn as intensely as a thousand tanned hides!
Your tale is fantastic, it left me riddled with laughter, I would gladly fistfight a raptor, just to see a sequel, for this has no equal.
There is but one error inside, I'm afraid that, from me, even in a story so epic, it cannot hide.
When writing an accent, it is imperative that an author remain consistent, lest to the allure of the like button, a reader becomes resistant
3680430
...I made AB say...I'm and I...
I am literally pissed at myself for that, and that is something I must fix, thank you for pointing it out.
This was terrible. I love it.
I feel that this fiction was written by Zecora
Lol this was so cute. Good job with this fic.
3680464 No problem, its what readers are for.
(Dropping a LARGE hint to the people who don't care to help a story they liked even after they see something wrong )
...........dr suess stylee, really
And don't tell me its not :shymad:
Dr suess?
Really?
And don't tell me its not
3698399
I was actually going for the more traditional holiday childrens books, where they rhyme throughout it, but looking at it more closely, it does look like a poor imitation of Dr Suess.
3698557 This is an Over-saturation of the AABB rhyme scheme with only a few ABCB lines to be seen. To call it a poor Dr. Seuss imitation is an insult to Dr. Seuss
But still a cute story none the less
LOL
Yo, I thought of giving one of your other fictions a-reading. Just in case my assaults were misleading. So what does this story bring? My favorite shipping? My face after reading.
<-loves poems
ok who put a thumbs down on my dr. Suess comment?
Lololol
That's what she said
Also, a fanfic By Dr. Seuss... or Zecora... Or Zeusscora?
3754855
Me, because you see,
You did not rhyme, which was this books theme
And also, using flutterrage here is a premature act
This was not Dr. Seuss more than it was Christmas....
...
And that is a fact
This fandom seriously needs more DiamondBloom fanart. Mattricole needs more cover arts!
Nice story. The rhyme seemed forced at times, but I'm not one to complain, I can't rhyme for crap.
0.0....... ok WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ? I need to lay off the drugs.
5534224 this can just barely be considered clop
My favorite part, lol.
WTF was this i dont know but this story ruined my fan life
This story indeed I must say, has very well brightened my day. Your skill at rhyming has left my head bowed, truly even the wise Zecora would be be proud. The writing flows and ebbs like a river of words, melodically to the ear like the singing of birds. Writing rhymes and a country accent, I am pleased at how well that went. Though one line, to me, interrupted the flow, and constructive criticism I wish to show.
The double use of "apples" feels like a bit of a lump, let's see if I can give this sentence a little bump. Since you are the author I will give you your dues, and if you wish I have a few lines from which to choose.
OK as I let out a sigh, I know that is not my best try,
hhhmm maybe the plural is the source of my twitch, let's if I can give this sentence another stitch.
Close but not quite, I try with all my might. It seems to me wring in verse feels like a minor curse. To make words sting together in a chain is becoming quite the pain. I will wrack my brain to find a solution, I cannot relax without resolution.
8300629
Both of those are waaaay better than what I went with , hell, your review itself is better at rhyming than my entire story. I really like that second one, I think I''ll use that as a replacement, thanks !
8301335
If it helps the way I picture to write in rhyme is to mentally envision a pendulum, swinging back and forth with each sentence following the tick of it. and making sure each rhyming word is on the return tick. example
[qoute] This story indeed I must say, "This" would be the start of the tick and "say" would be the end and
"has" will be beginning at were "say" left off and continue to "Day at the return end of the tick where "This" started.
Hope this helps, it was the way I wrote my review.
When Zecora writes fanfiction.
Its a really nice fic, so poetically)