Fangirl of Sunset Shimmer and Luna, sewer of fleece plushies, writes mainly oneshots.
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**Friendship Games Spoilers**
Just days after the Friendship Games, Sunset Shimmer finds their world's Twilight Sparkle staring at what's left of the Wondercolt statue. The two then have a conversation about what it means to have been a monster, what it will take to move on from it, and what it all means for who they are.
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Not the first story in this vein I've seen, but a good one nonetheless. Have a like.
It's kind of interesting to realize human Twilight would not actually be able to think of bad girl Sunset Shimmer because all she's seen is the good Shimmer.
this story was really good
Have a like and a cute fluttershy
Good story
Was kinda thinking that Sunset would've pointed out that Twilight wasn't the only one to destroy school property. Twilight might even be considered lucky she didn't have to repair the damages like Sunset did
I approve of this story.
Great story
I'm interested in the "Welcome to the gang Twilight" party.
Yay! We need MOAR Sunset/Sci-Twi hurt/comfort FEEEEELS!!!
Did that make any sense?
Sunset is definitely the one who'd comfort Sci-Twi after all that. And she's absolutely right, too.
I like it. A bit of awkward grammar, but I've seen worse in actual published pen-and-ink books, so don't worry about it.
The story, though short, is good. I don't doubt that Twilight and Sunset would have that talk, and you properly convey emotions despite the limited dialogue.
Try to use more visual cues; for example, putting 'Sunset walked Twilight over to the steps in front of the door, taking a seat alongside her' would have provided that much more power.
Nightmare Moon, Demon Shimmer, and Midnight Sparkle are all in the past! The past is not toooooodaaaaaay~
Certainly not the first, and certainly not the last story of this type…
But I still love it. And I think you handled the idea very well, too.
This requires a round of applause from best pony! fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/336/5/7/13860064636854_by_blknblupanther-d6whl0i.gif
This is an interesting bit of character writing because it emphasises the similarities and differences between Twilight and Sunset's experiences. It also reminds us that, of all the Seven, Twilight will have a difficult time imagining the place Sunset came from to become the person she is today. However, knowing that she made that journey may give her hope that she too can escape her demon, a disinterested, disconnected sociopath that only wanted knowledge and didn't care about the consequences of her actions on others.
"My past is not today" I totally called it.
Is anyone else slowly getting annoyed by all those "My Past Is not Today" line cameos? Because I am. Apart from that, great story.
A little short as in it could've had more chapters but not bad, not bad at all...
A*?
Song breaks 4th Wall.
6502258
Ah, thank you for pointing that out! Fixed now. Doesn't matter how many times I proof-read a fic, something always seems to get by me.
6495205
I get where you're coming from on that. I've seen a few fics where entire verses are shoehorned awkwardly into paragraphs, and it definitely breaks you out of the experience. I've always been of the opinion though that if you can fit song lyrics or references into a story in a way that feels natural, they can add a little something rather than detract. In this case, I felt like the line worked well with the flow of the conversation, so I put it in there. But if it didn't work for you, I totally get that. Glad you enjoyed it otherwise.
6514548
Like I said, I felt like it fit naturally with the flow of conversation, but I understand that maybe not everybody is gonna see it that way.
I'm assuming you mean it breaks the immersion? Breaking the fourth wall specifically refers to someone or something in a work of fiction calling attention to the fact that they are in a fictional world. Like when Pinkie Pie grabs the camera and directly addresses the audience. Pretty sure song lyrics don't do that, but I could see how they might break your immersion into the story. In which case, I'm sorry the line didn't work for you.
6516821 Well it probably wouldn't be such a problem if I hadn't read at least four other stories doing the same One of them was completely ruined by it because every second line in the grand finale was a quote or reference to that video and thus it completely lacked originality.
I'd generally advise to stay clear from such things, because even if they seem like a good idea at first, there will be tons of other authors that think the same and people will start to get annoyed.
It's like that 20 percent cooler meme.
But well, for your story it wasn't really a problem. I groaned and had to resist the urge to bang my head against the table when I came across that line, but apart from that it didn't take from the story.
Nice work.
6535520
As soon as I read that, this popped into my head too.
Awesome job
cute little story that one. I approve.
Awesome fic, and I loved the Reference to my Past is not Today.
Ignore those who say otherwise. My past is not today is one of my Favorite MLP Songs
6652330 as is mine.
6662425 Nice pic!
6662438 thanks
6538752 I'm pretty sure that was the whole point to make us see the connection to the song.
I for one was not bothered by the song reference—it’s well handled and deftly worked into the narrative. For that matter, it’s easy to imagine that is exactly how Sunset habitually thinks about the whole affair, since the song is, after all, an externalization of her thoughts!
Time to change the TS for the new Twilight Sparkle (EQG) tag
Wonderful story. It details Sunset's internal thoughts perfectly. I argue that Sunset is even better at the friendship thing than Princess Twilight simply because Sunset has hit rock bottom before and needed friends to pull her out of the darkness whereas Twilight didn't have friends but was living a life style that suited her just fine until she saw what friendship offered her outside of her world.
That period before the dialogue should definitely be a comma, and "Is" should not be capitalized. It's a clear continuation of the previous bit of dialogue.
This was a nice scene. I wish we saw more of this sort of interaction in Legend of Everfree.
This conversation felt very much in-character for both Sci-Twi and Sunset. I could definitely see this story as a legit canon occurrence without any changes. Very well-written. Thanks for sharing.
Well done. One of the greatest truths we can hear: Our experiences are not our identities.
Magnificent bit of early Sciset friendshipping. Thank you for it.
Want chapter two. Pls. 🙂 if you need an idea, how about twilight is sleeping over at sunset’ house, and she gets a nightmare. Sunset wakes up, wakes her up and they make tea or something and talk about it
This was really good.
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
Loved this!! You really captured the voices of the characters!!