Twilight waved to and walked away leaving me in the capable hooves of Sand Paper. The gruff looking stallion tipped his head to the innards of his shop. I walked in making sure not to bump into anything.
“So you have some experience in working with wood?” He asked giving me a skeptical eye.
“Yes, when I was in high school I made tables, shelves, bird houses, and a few other things. I was making my own bow till…” I stopped, I was about to say ‘till I ran away’ but I kept that to myself.
“Till what?” Sand Paper asked pushing and I simply shrugged.
“Till I was sent here,” I said dodging the truth. Enough people or ponies know I’m a runaway.
“Well since you know your way around making a birdhouse why not start there I’ll judge your worth with that,” he said turning around as he went to back to work on what he was busy with when Twilight and I first bothered him. I looked around the shop and really didn’t know where to start.
“Can I use anything?” I asked and he stopped and looked at me.
“No course not, you get to use those tools on the bench there and the scrap wood from the pile out back.” He said as if I was a complete moron, not going to lie I felt like one. Sand Paper went back to his work and I took a look at what I was working with. The tools were archaic, used by my father's father, not to mention they had rust and a worn look. I looked up at Sand paper with half lidded eyes. This guy wanted me to fail. Well, I’ll try and prove him wrong I thought as I picked up the tools, placing them on a worktable and made my way to the back where the scraps of wood were. There was more than enough for a good birdhouse but should I make a normal one or go extravagant...I made up my mind that it should look good but functions well too.
Four hours later I had worked on the birdhouse and I was applying my finishing touches. I was sanding the angled roof that looked like a normal bird house only that it was four sided and could house nine bird families. I didn’t paint it because I did not know where the paint was. I had found some chisels and was doing some simple flourishes on the corners.
“Not bad.” came his voice right by me year and I jumped and almost fell out of my seat.
“Jesus… don’t scare me like that.” I said and he simply looked at me confused.
“Celesta boy, you're jumpier than a jackrabbit.” He joked as he looked at the birdhouse I made.
“You got promise, but I can tell you miss cut a few boards and I see you messed up on a few nails.” He scrutinized. I looked at him unsure and he slapped me on the back as a sign of endearment. I gave him a wincing smile and he walked back to his bench.
"What do you want me to do now?" I asked looking his way.
"I need several boards cut. Here are the measurements and make sure to use the right saw," he said as he left me to do the job assigned to me.
Hours passed as I did what Sand Paper asked of me. It was a job that kind of numbed me to the point that I only liked the smell of the sawdust every time the table saw bit into the wood. After cutting another piece he waved to me and I turned off the table saw and looked up at him and removed my eyeglasses and removed one of my earplugs he had given me earlier.
"Day is done, make sure to be here at 8 tomorrow," he ordered and I simply nodded and put the glasses down and removed the remaining earplug and followed him outside the shop. His horn glowed yellow and metal shutters rolled down to close off the shop to anypony who would just wander into the shop.
"Your wing looks busted up. Might want to get that looked at properly." He said as he turned a lock.
"Zecora took care of it," I said turning to walk beside him in the direction of Twilight's tree.
"Don't get me wrong, Zecora is a good mare. Her brews fix a lot of stuff but bones that need mendin you go to the horsepital." Sand Paper offered and I gave him a raised eyebrow.
"Horsepital? Don't you mean Hospital?" I said correcting him.
"You heard what I said, Horsepital. Must be a griffin thing. Hospital." He said shaking his head at my supposed nonsense.
So I'll come to work after I get looked at?" I asked and he shook his head.
"Just pop by there, it's never really that busy. It's the large white building with the Equestria flag on it." He said indicating to the south and I saw a lone mast that had a flag waving.
"Ok, I'll go check myself in then," I said and he patted me on the shoulder.
"See you tomorrow Feather." He said and turned to go towards what looked like a pub. I gave my head a small shake and made my way towards the Hospital.
The building was two stories tall and unlike most of the buildings around it had a tile roof and a large red cross on the front saying 'Ponyville Regional Horsepital.' I walked to the front doors where two large stallions in uniforms what resembled paramedics were having a smoke and talking as I passed. I pushed the right door in and was greeted by a tan painted lobby and several seats that were all but empty. A white earth-pony mare sat at the desk and I approached her and she didn't pay me any attention till I was right at the counter.
"Umm..hello?" I said to get her attention and she held up her hoof as she was writing something with her mouth and she looked up at me and her eyes widened slightly as she placed the pen away into the pen holder.
"How may I help you?" She asked and I looked at my wing and the fact it was splinted and she sat up to look over the counter and saw my wing.
"Ah, fracture or break?" She asked
"Break I think," I responded and she pulled up a blank medical sheet and placed it in front of me.
"Please fill out the paper and a nurse will be out to get you. Mr..." She said.
"Feather Beak." I said and she made a mouth of 'o' and smiled.
"Would have been at your welcome party but we had an emergency so I couldn't make it hope it was fun Pinkie knows how to make a good party," she said with a smile. I laughed slightly.
"Yea I didn't expect that. I had a great time though." I said with a smile.
"Well Feather Beak Ill make sure you get looked after...wait do you have a social Insurance?" she asked and I frowned.
"Insurance?" I asked bewildered.
"Oh...well it how you pay for treatment." she instructed and I felt a stone fall in my stomach.
"I don't have insurance. I recently came to Equestria..." I began to say and she waved her hoof and gave a bright smile.
"Lucky for folk just as yourself there is a universal health care but you will still be billed. It would cost less if you had insurance." She said assuring me which still didn't make me feel any better.
"Ok," I said uneasily as I took the paper, a pen, and a clipboard and found a seat across from a light blue pegasus with a dark blue mane. I began to fill out the paper when I heard him speak.
"Celestia, that looks to be a gnarly break. What did you do?" He asked.
"Running from Timberwolves and fell down a hill and was stopped by a tree," I said simply and he blinked before he was about to ask.
"No, I don't know how to fly," I said cutting him off, which only made him look even more confused.
"No judgment bro, just surprised is all. Why have you never flown before? Like you got your wings clipped by some monster?" he asked and I thought a moment.
"I was never taught to fly, my father made sure of that," I said and finished my paper and stood up and returned the paper and found my seat again.
"Ah, bummer parents. Shitty deal, if you want when that break is fixed up ill give you some lessons." he offered.
"Rainbow Dash already offered but..." I began and he chuckled and shook his head.
"No disrespect to the Rainbow, but she's not the best teacher. She is an awesome flier...but she's a doer, not a shower if you know what I mean," he said with a smile.
"Who are you?" I asked and he smiled.
"I'm Soaren." He said with a smile.
"Wait...Wonderbolts Soaren?" I said with squinted eyes.
"The same." he said leaning back.
"Ok, don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth..." I paused and Soaren gave me a puzzled look.
"I mean I would love flight lessons from you but why are you here. Are you injured?" I inquired, at that he seems to lose his color slightly and his body language became more shrunken and inwards.
"My mom is in right now. Pneumonia, she's really ill. I've been given family emergency leave." he said quietly, I had heard of the affliction and he looked up at me.
"Just need something to take my mind of things you know?" he said with a half hearted smile.
"I don't think she will be in for that long..." I encouraged and he laughed but it sounded just as hollow as his smile was.
"Feather Beak?" A nurse that was a light red stallion with a brown mane and tail.
"That's me," I said and he motioned for me to follow him.
"I'll hold you to those lessons," I said as I Stood up and placed a claw on his shoulder and he looked up at me.
"I can't wait for you to heal naturally, tell the doc that Soaren will cover for bone magic." He said as he looked up at me. I frowned and didn't really understand.
"I'm going to pay for your wing." he said plainly, to which I shook my head.
"No, I don't want to just receive help. I can look after it myself. I just got a job." I said resolutely. Soaren held up his hooves in defeat.
"Ok," he said and I released his shoulder after a squeeze and followed the nurse. He leads me to an examining room with a machine I recognized as an x-ray machine. I had received enough fractures and breaks to the point I was often told to stop skateboarding. I didn't own a skateboard. I was told to stand on my hind legs and my splint was removed and a bloody bandage was taken off and he began to poke and prod the wound. I was close to punching the stallion till he spoke.
"So we are going to want to stretch your wing out." He said cautiously as it seemed my look spoke that I wanted to claw him to death. He gave me a lead vest that went around my neck, he then helped me spread my wing out as I bit down on my claw. He left my wing extended and moved to put the x-ray into position and he stepped behind a shield and a click was heard and he stepped out.
"Ok. now we wait for results," he said as he helped me put my wing into a more comfortable position. Leading me to an examining room I was left alone. One thing I missed from the human world...my cell phone. After what seemed like an hour a knock on the door and a neon green unicorn stallion with a light blue mane, wearing a doctors coat and stethoscope around his neck walked in greeting me with a smile.
"Feather Beak, I am Doctor Minty Green." He said taking a seat and levitated a file which he opened and placed up the x-ray film into a back light.
"Well good thing is, you had a clean break." He began and I looked at the film.
"Whats the bad thing?" I asked.
"Nothing, not bad but there are a lot of minor old fractures and old breaks that thankfully have healed correctly." He said pointing to my bodies skeleton and not my wing.
"I only have a break in my wing," I said, and the doctor nodded.
"Yes you do, but that is easily fixed. I've seen the same pattern on your body in some other cases. Hunting monsters, blunt force trauma, and the one I hate to ask but.... have you been the victim of physical abuse." He asked cautiously. I said nothing and just sat there.
"There is nothing wrong, you are safe here." He began.
"It's none of your business. I'm not there anymore so leave it." I said more hostile than I intended. Minty Green lifted his hoof.
"It's ok Feather Beak. I'm going to heal your wing up brand new. I won't pry into your affairs just know there are ponies you can talk to about these things." He said calmly and gestured for me to lie down. I laid down face first and a side table folded out for my wing to rest on. The door to the room opened and the same nurse came in with a needle with a solution. Minty Green floated the needle and solution then filled the needle before he looked down at me and gave me a nod.
"This will numb your wing." He said before he began to feel my back for a muscle.
"Take a deep breath this will sting." The nurse said as he stood beside me.
"Never liked needles," I said looking forward hoping not to see the thing, my stomach was in knots as I felt queasy.
"On three, one...two." I felt the needle go into my back just under my joint of my wing. I electric shock lanced down my wing as I growled.
"You didn't count three," I said looking at him with a glare.
"Surprise." He said with a smile I did not appreciate. After two or so minutes I couldn't feel my wing and he poked me with a needle on my wing tip.
"Feel that?" he asked, I replied with a shake of my head and he nodded.
"Ok, now we are going to fix this wing." He said as he stretched it out. His horn glowed and my wing was enveloped in his magic and I watched as my wing grossly popped back into place, bone, joint, and flesh knitted back into place. I looked at the doctor who was dripping with sweat and the nurse was wiping Minty's brow as he continued to work. I lay there for thirty minutes.
"Done," he said with a triumphant smile, I looked at my wing completely mended. The nurse took over from there and folded my wing to my barrel and wrapped it with a tourniquet.
"Well, Feather Beak. Give that about 12-18 hours of rest before trying to put a major strain on it." Minty said as he cracked his neck and heaved a sigh.
"Thank you so much, Doc," I said and he waved his hoof.
"All in a days work." he said and opened my file and began to write something down.
"You can go now Feather. But please think about talking to somepony about..you know. You might pop one day. Scars like those don't just go away." Minty said with a sad smile. I just gave him a nod and left the room. Walking away towards the lobby where I came in, the mare was still sitting there and Soren was gone. She looked up to see me and gave a smile.
"Mr. Feather Beak, everything went well I hope?" she said to which I nodded.
"How much do will I owe for the procedure," I asked not really wanting to hear the answer.
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that." She said happily, and I frowned.
"What? I don't have insurance." I said not understanding.
"A Mr. Soren covered your costs. He said that you will pay him back by being at Golden Oaks Library on Friday." She said as she looked at the note on her desk.
"Oh damn him... Thanks again nurse." I said but I really couldn't be mad at him. I'll pay him back...I swear it.
Cool another chapter right after I read the last chapter
Again, I would suggest finding an editor or at least a beta reader.
8325503
No one ever takes the time even if I ask so I've given up on asking people to edit or proofread. If you wish to take up the task just say so.
What is this a crossover of?
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Its not a crossover of anything its just a story of a character I made in Equestria, Ill be adding more action in later chapters to add some 'spice'.
8325555
If it's not a crossover why do you have the crossover tag on it?
Also, I might not catch all of the mistakes, but if you send me a chapter before you post it I will at least look it over. Do you use Google Docs?
8325668
Sure Ill send you the next one.
Let's see...
The character turns into a griffon, can't say there isn't a lot of fics with that, nice.
the incorrect words makes it looks like you used the first suggested word of the corrector without paying attention to the context, correcting like that is worse than not correcting at all, because with a typo we know were are the error but using the wrong word to correct may change the context and confuse the reader, try to pay more attention when correcting mistakes.
fake named, if not used correctly it'll just make the reader cringe, a character usually is proud of his own name (we all are) so much that we can be offended sometimes if someone say our name wrong, unless he have a good reason to not use his name, is better not use at all.
puns, not that is a bad thing for the story to have puns, but try to not name common things with pun names unless the context is acceptable to make puns, it just leads to unnecessary mistakes in future chapters.
abusive past, nothing to comment here, you're doing fine right now.
tags, only use tags if its currently in the story, otherwise people that read the story expecting a character or theme will just leave a down vote on your fic (Gilda is not present in the story, being mentioned doesn't count)
to sum it up, the story started good and the actions aren't too out of character, there are some mistakes but not enough to drive me away, I'll wait until the story is better developed and give my opinion again and see what changed.
8326857
I understand. Most of the words I use in the story are meant for the right situation in the scene that is in play. Gilda will be in the story it's just later, some things in the MLP verse has pun names and only really made it prevelent with the hospital.
The reason you don't know the characters original name is because he wants to forget his past and everything he was, he associates his old name with his week and abused self, the one that took it and did nothing all those years, although he has yet to come to realize it.
In the future I'll make sure to double check my use of the words I choose, Thank you for giving such an in depth analysis of my story so far. I hope I don't disappoint.
8326857
8326877
Just keep in mind, some mistakes can be hilarious--like this one: "wrapped it with a tourniquet"
Yeah! That'll heal it, for sure! And in six weeks, your wing will fall off by itself!
What you want there is a "triangular bandage sling" if you want the technical term you're probably looking for--or just a plain "sling" for all us laymen.
That even hurt my ears
before I knew it was soarin I wanted to say he looks like he would be a better treacher, probably because it'S always Dash, however recent Soarin stories where good enough for me to give that character a new chance.
Now I just hope he isn't going to visit a prying psychologist, I mean someone who tries to tell him how he has to live his life.
I know not everyone knows how they work, but I only know them listening very much and telling what they thing might be the chase, asking if you think the same and stuff, offering some methods to solve the chase and I think then it's mostly waiting if it works.
Which means I don'T really expect much to happen in his therapy at first.
You did it, I can't even be mad at you for this
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I'm just like team Four star freiza when he says OH MY GOD https://youtu.be/LD5hMu-IsCY