Starlight Over Detrot
Act 2, Chapter 25: Unearthed Facets
There are lots of ugly histories in Equestria. The Crusades. The Reign of Sombra. The Fall of Nightmare Moon.
Thankfully, most of those histories are just that: History, thanks to a combination of fortitude and capital-scale arcanery. But they are the histories of Equestria's overt antagonists, which Equestria has a much easier time dealing with. By contrast, the Invisible Hoof of the Market cannot be lifted from the throat of Equestrian society by simple telekinesis.
The years after the Crusades were a time of rampant growth and reconstruction. With Princess Luna's return and balance restored, ponies changed and adapted at a rate unseen for centuries. The growing demand for recently-developed arcanotech devices created a booming industry for the mining, refining, and enchanting of gemstones. This new market lasted for years, helping reconstruct the economy of Detrot after the war. Barons of industry were built overnight and enormous wealth amassed by hewing magical gems out of the dirt to power new and fantastical inventions for which the public hungered.
This all changed because of an innocuous and sensible question.
History has lost the utterer and his or her exact words, but the sentiment was roughly as follows: "Hey, why are we paying these guys so much to drag gems out of the dirt? We’ve got electrical generators and magical conversion systems. Surely we could start recharging these gems, rather than just replacing them, right?"
Clever or not, this pony couldn’t have seen the monster he or she would create when they figured out how to cheaply reconstruct the magical power lattice inside a gemstone. Simply put, it meant a gemstone could be repeatedly charged for years before needing replacement. This was a wonderful thing for the arcanelectric device manufacturer, the designer, and the consumer. It was not so wonderful for the miners and refiners, who soon found themselves out of work with their families starving.
When your focus is on your next meal, the consequences of your most drastic steps to secure it will be a distant blur until you're fed.
-The Scholar
Junior’s father was angry. His son knew it the second he came in the door. He didn’t know why he was angry or what he was angry about. Hard Boiled Senior wasn’t the kind of pony to stomp around and shout when he was furious, but he definitely projected an aura of tension.
First things first, upon hearing his son was sick, he’d marched right up the stairs with a glass of water and plunked himself down beside Junior’s bed, ruffled his child’s mane, and set to pleasant conversation. This made Junior feel doubly guilty that he wasn’t actually ill, but he needed an excuse to ask his dad some questions and illness would be as good an excuse as any.
Hard Boiled Senior looked much like an upscaled version of his son, with a slightly rounded frame and muscles his boy could only envy. His black mane had chunks of gray, and he hadn’t taken off his uniform yet, so he still looked very much the officer of the beat.
Junior adored him, and it made him all the more worried to see him angry.
“-and then, Mom made me soup again. That was pretty much it, really. The teacher said I can retake the test when I get back.”
“Ahhh, good to hear,” his father said, with a smile that didn’t really find his eyes. He stared off into the distance for a second, then shook himself.
“Dad… are you okay?”
His father looked up at Junior as the colt propped up in the cushions, his hot-sauce bottle still under his pillow and his nose running profusely.
“Mmm… never can hide it from you when I’m not,” his father sighed. “Truth? I can’t tell you the whole, but I will say something fairly awful happened today. The governor was visiting. His daughter… died, here in Detrot.”
Junior rubbed his neck, then he sat up straighter. “That’s… I mean, that’s bad, but… you work with dead ponies a lot, right? Usually, that kind of thing doesn’t make you mad.”
Hard Boiled Senior shut his eyes. He was still seeing the look on the girl’s face. Her eyes bulged with fear, though she’d been dead for hours by the time what was left of her body was found. He hadn’t needed to read the coroner’s report for cause of death.
That was often the problem with having a perceptive child. He’d sworn to himself, before his son was born, that he’d tell him the truth whenever he could. His own father had been unable to tell him lots of important things and he didn’t want to keep that cycle going by keeping secrets from Junior.
“She… died badly, son. Very badly. Some bad ponies wanted to hurt the governor, so they hurt his daughter instead. One day, if you have foals, you’ll understand just what it means to want to protect somepony with all your heart. When you fail to protect them, when you fail to be the best you can be for them, or when they’re stolen from you… it’s difficult not to be angry.”
Junior slowly reached over and put one leg around his father’s neck.
Hard Boiled Senior was caring, but he wasn’t big on hugs. Still, when it mattered, they were always there. He slid his forelegs around his son and held him to his chest for a long moment.
When they parted, the elder stallion seemed noticeably calmer.
“Do… do you have a suspect, Dad?” Junior asked.
Hard Boiled Senior settled back on the little chair and folded his forelegs. “I suppose that’s the problem. We have plenty. There are many groups in Detrot, lately, with a bone to pick with the governor. Unfortunately, the pony or ponies that committed this act were very careful. Strong as a minotaur and clever.”
Junior pursed his lips to one side. “Maybe, when Shiny isn’t grounded anymore, we can ask her to look at things?”
The stallion chuckled, unclipping his badge from his chest and laying it on the bedside table.
It’d been about a year before when Sweet Shine first showed a talent for police work. She’d simply looked at the mayoral candidate of the year on television during a broadcast about the tragic death of his wife and declared, in the middle of dinner, that he’d murdered her. Two weeks later, the truth came out.
Since then, Hard Boiled Senior had, often reluctantly, made use of the little filly’s burgeoning talent. He wondered what cutie-mark she might have that would give her such insight into the minds of murderers and monsters, but she didn’t seem to be one herself, so he fought his guilty conscience and, now and then, brought home a casefile.
“We’ll see. You just concentrate on getting better.”
A heavenly scent chose that moment to waft into the room and further unpleasantness was preempted by watering mouths.
“I think dinner might be ready!”
****
Stone Shine had returned home late, looking like a thundercloud was hanging over his head. Shiny was waiting for him in the front hallway, sitting with her head low and one hoof up. He draped a thick jacket covered in something that looked like coal dust over her head, then trotted into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a beer bottle in his teeth. He still had the strange kerchief around his neck. Glancing down as he collapsed onto the couch, Stone Shine tore it off and stuffed it into the garbage can at the end of the sofa.
Junior adjusted his telescope, watching his friend closely from across the street. She’d put away the coat, then she returned to her father’s side, sitting patiently on the carpet beside his hooves. Stone Shine picked up the television remote and turned it on, then sat back with one hoof behind his neck. He patted the couch beside him and Sweet Shine leapt up onto it, resting her chin on his leg.
Reaching down, he very gently patted the top of her head. Junior couldn’t help but be reminded of a pet owner stroking a beloved animal, though for some reason that image disturbed him.
Junior wondered where Shiny’s mother was. He’d lost track of her since dinner and she wasn’t in the living room. His notepad lay beside his hoof and he rolled his pencil back and forth between his teeth, examining the scene across the way.
He could see tension in his friend’s shoulders, but she was giving her father a tentative smile. Stone Shine was tipping back his beer in great, gulping swallows.
All at once, he spat his beer out and leaned forward, eyes wide. His daughter, surprised, pitched onto the floor and Junior thought he saw her cry out. She clutched at her side, rear legs kicking feebly as she lay there in a heap on the carpet. Her father paid her no mind, his entire attention focused on whatever was going on on screen.
He leapt to his hooves, seemed to shout something and gestured violently towards the hallway. Shiny scrambled upright, limping out of the room as Stone Shine grabbed the curtains in his teeth and slammed them shut.
****
Nothing happened for the next hour that Junior could see, despite sitting in rapt attention the whole time. His father came up again and kissed him goodnight, then his mother brought him a plate of cookies for dessert. Putting her hoof on his forehead, she pronounced his ‘fever’ broken and said he could take one more day off from school just to make sure he was alright.
Thankfully, the next day was the end of the week, and he had the whole weekend ahead of him to do...whatever it was he was doing. He still wasn’t entirely sure.
Wiping the last crumbs of his dessert from his blanket, he reached over and spun his telescope on its stand. He sighed.
“What am I doing?” he asked himself, “Watching the filly across the street like some kind of stalker? Okay, sure, we’ve been friends for a couple of years and her parents are kinda… total weirdos...”
That sense that something was very wrong wouldn’t leave him alone, no matter how he tried to push it out of his brain.
Rolling out of bed, he tossed on an extra pillow and several stuffed animals onto the bed, pushing them underneath his blanket. He began packing his saddle-bags, stuffing the walkie-talkies in with the extra power gems, his chess set, one of the cookies from dessert, and a box of crackers he’d squirreled away for his plan. Then he climbed into bed, shut off the lights, and pretended to sleep.
****
It took three false starts before he was absolutely certain his mother and father were actually asleep. His mother came in to check on him under pretense of getting a glass of water, then his father needed to check his temperature again, and finally, his mom returned to give him a kiss goodnight.
At last, he managed to crawl down the stairs, avoiding the creak in the third from the top and the groan in the bottom one with nimble little bounces. He headed for the back door through the kitchen, gingerly lifting the key out of the pot beside the toaster and fitting it into the lock, then making a mental note to re-lock it on the way back.
He crept across the street, checking Shiny’s house for movement every few steps. There was none. He eased up onto the curb, then snuck into the alley, passed Stone Shine’s wagon and around the side of the house to the vent.
Sliding onto his belly, he whispered, “Shiny! Shiny, you down there?”
His friend’s eyes appeared at the grate. “You don’t have to whisper. Dad sleeps like a rock and Mom’s had her medication.”
“Oh… um, alright,” he said, sheepishly. “Here, I brought you a cookie from dinner.”
“Ooh, nice! I didn’t get anything tonight because Dad had some kind of really big freak-out about something on the news,” she replied as he sifted through his saddle-bags, then brought out the cookie and fed it between the slat. Sweet Shine devoured it immediately. “Mmm, yum.”
“I… ugh… I’m worried about you. You do know how weird it is that your Dad has you staying in the basement, right?”
Shiny shrugged and sat back on her cot. “I... don’t… want to talk about it. Could we just play some checkers or something?”
She was still wearing that funny collar with the weight on it. Now that he could see it closer, it appeared to just be a heavy, iron ball with a ring in the top. The fur around the strap seemed to be puffy and red, like it’d been rubbed raw.
“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at the collar.
“Is tonight just going to be ‘Ask Sweet Shine Questions’ night?” Shiny glanced down, then covered it with one hoof. “It’s mine. Daddy gave it to me, because I’m his girl and he wants me to be strong.”
“That’s freaky, Shiny.”
“Yeah, well, it’s my dad and my life, and I do what I’m told, unlike some ponies I know. Are you gonna insult that, too?”
“Sorry…”
His friend’s ears fluttered and she shook her head. “It’s alright. I’m sorry, too. I’m just...not feeling great. I’m really hungry.”
“Oh! Here!” He retrieved the walkie-talkies and crackers, pushing them through along with a set of power gems. “So we can talk during the day. I’m faking sick tomorrow. I need a couple extra days to study for the science test.”
His friend stared at the device for a second, then pressed the ‘talk’ button. The speaker on Junior’s squawked. He quickly turned the volume down to a more manageable level.
“Thanks. I don’t know when I’ll be able to go out again. After my chores are done, I usually just sit down here and wait for Him to be home so I can come out.”
“Do you know what he freaked out about? I mean-”
Shiny cut him off. “Does it matter?”
“Errr… I guess not. Alright, I brought my chess set. We’re going two out of three this time and I read one of those books my dad keeps about this game. I am so going to beat you this time!”
****
Despite the late night, Junior was up bright and early the next morning, watching Shiny’s house. The early morning events played out pretty much the same way they had the day before, with one exception.
An hour before noon, a car arrived on their street.
Cars weren’t a terribly common occurrence, much less big black ones with ponies in suits. Two gentlecolts, one tall and thin, the other short and thin, both wearing sharp suits. They trotted up to the front and knocked on the door.
Shiny answered. Her mother was still asleep.
The two ponies smiled as they saw her, but those smiles gradually vanished as whatever conversation they were having went on. About ten minutes later, they’d gone again.
It was after lunch before Shiny managed to actually get on the walkie-talkie. Junior had watched through the telescope as she took out the garbage, dusted the steps, washed the dishes, and vacuumed the floor.
“What was that about?” Junior asked, holding down the ‘talk’ button.
“What?” his friend asked.
“Those stallions in the suits that came to your place today. They looked like something out of a comic book!”
“Oh… um… they just wanted to know where my Dad was yesterday. I told them he was here. He says the union ponies are upsetting some ‘powerful interests’ with what they’re doing to change things for the… uh… pro… p-prola… pro-le-terry-at, whatever that is. He said that they might bother us, so I have to always say he was there if somepony comes around asking.”
“Huh. Sure. My dad came in last night and was acting funny, too. He told me about this case with the governor’s daughter. She was murdered…”
Shiny’s voice dropped off for a second, like she was moving around, then it was back. “My dad was watching that report on the news, too. I don’t know. It’d freak me out if somepony I talked to earlier that day had a family member killed.”
Junior laid his head on his pillow, tracing patterns on the ceiling with his eyes.
“I just can’t wait for stuff to get back to normal,” he said, deciding a change of subject was in order since he didn’t really know where to go from there. “I miss chasing geese and stuff. You ever wonder what life would be like if you were a Princess or a Lady, far from here?”
"All the time..." Shiny replied, softly.
“But then I wouldn’t have you to talk to while I’m faking being sick, would I?”
They shared a good laugh and Junior shut his eyes, letting the sunlight play on his face.
****
Stone Shine wasn’t a happy pony when he came in that night. He stomped into the house and Shiny hastily hid Junior’s walkie-talkie, cutting off the conversation they’d been having about which Wonderbolt was more awesome. She hadn’t thought, however, to turn off the lock on the walkie-talkie’s ‘send’ button.
Junior listened to a muffled yell for attention, followed by hoofsteps dashing up the stairs and a door slamming. Not long after, somepony sounded like they were wrestling with a piece of furniture that was definitely a little too much for them. The soft squeaks and whimpers marked it as Sweet Shine doing the lifting.
At last, it thumped into place. There was another shout, and again, retreating hooves.
The colt sighed, scratching at his jaw. He couldn’t talk to Sweet Shine while she had the send button pressed, so he just turned the volume down. He didn’t know how long the batteries would last, but she’d switched in a fresh pair not more than an hour or two ago, so he was pretty sure they’d be okay. If this went on much longer, though, he’d end up having to spend that week’s pocket money on more.
He expected Shiny to return at any moment, but she didn’t. All he could hear was water moving through the pipes and the furnace grumbling. How his friend had managed to sleep with all that he’d never know.
Junior picked up his book and went back to reading, the walkie-talkie tucked under his pillow.
****
A half hour later, there was movement at the Shine house. Three taxi wagons, each drawn by a pony at least as large as Stone Shine himself, pulled up out front. Junior snatched up his telescope and tried to get a bead on them.
Two stallions and a mare clambered out of the cabs, paid the cabbies, and started for the door of the Shine residence. Every one of them was absolutely enormous. Muscles seemed to bulge from every inch of their bodies and each had the stooped shoulders of a hard worker. Junior couldn’t be sure, but he was fairly certain the mare’s cutie-mark was some kind of cart with wheels. She stopped on the stairs, turning to glance up and down the road.
Her eyes stopped on his house. She looked up.
Junior ducked back out of sight.
He waited, his breathing heavy, wondering why he was so nervous about being seen. They were just guests, right? Guests at the Shine residence. He’d probably seen guests over there plenty of times, hadn’t he?
Now he thought of it, not once in two years had he seen anypony besides Stone, Shiny, Miss Goodie, or Sweet Shine’s mother entering or leaving that house. Odd. He was usually more observant than that. It wasn’t really possible that they’d never had a guest, was it? After all, his mom and dad had guests every other week.
Slowly, he edged out, peering down onto the street. The mare was gone, along with the rest of her little convoy.
Something rattled behind him, and hoofsteps sounded like they were coming up the stairs. He dove for the bed, tossing the blankets over himself, waiting for his mother to open the door.
Some seconds later, he was still waiting.
It was then that he realized the sounds were coming from his walkie-talkie. Shoving both hooves under the pillow, he pulled it out and was about to turn the volume down, when he heard a voice. It sounded gravelly, but distinctly feminine.
“Stone… what in Celestia’s name would you call a meeting here for?”
The next voice was definitely Shiny’s father, but he sounded very strange. Articulate. Chilly. His accent was different.
“I am taking my exit vector. You hired me to give your little revolution a kick in the pants, and it’s had its kick. Two years worth of this is long enough. My daughter has been infected by this… city. I will be moving on. I make a point of telling clients when a job is finished in person. It prevents misunderstandings.”
“We hired you to intimidate some ponies! We didn’t hire you to do what you did to that poor-”
“You hired me to achieve a goal. I expect my payment. You can send it to my accounts at-”
One of the males interrupted, “The only goal you’ve achieved is making us all wanted ponies!”
Stone Shine’s reply was soft, but it reminded Junior of the rock he’d watched the large stallion crush into dust the day before. “Your revolution needed backers. It needed the fear and cooperation of powerful interests. Now, you have both. I will need to assume a new identity very soon. I have been… compromised.”
“But the mines are still dying!” another voice protested.
“The mines are dead,” Stone said, firmly. “Your new connections in the underground will help you achieve your other goals. You paid me to rebuild the union’s power base. It is rebuilt. Nopony in this city will dare speak against you and the law firm will keep all of you from facing jail time for the actions associated with your group.”
“This… this isn’t what we wanted…” the mare stammered.
“Then you should have been more specific when we were establishing our contract. You were not my only customers in this enterprise.”
There was silence on the other end of the walkie-talkie.
“Why did you bring us here?” one of the stallions asked, cautiously.
“As I said. I like to tell clients in person that a job is finished,” Stone Shine replied. “This one is finished. I do not like to operate in these haphazard conditions.”
“You’re being paid, aren’t you?” the mare growled.
“I only took this ridiculous job because the payment was within the accepted risk curves. That is no longer the case. Altering city records was not easy and the prostitute provided as my ‘wife’ for this venture has been in a state of collapse since day one. Amongst other things, she is a lesbian. That has proven very inconvenient for my cover. She did not take well to any of the mind alteration spells, and my daughter’s memories required significant reformation.”
“Nopony asked you to bring your child into this!” the mare snapped.
“She is mine and I will do with her as I please. However, she has been… damaged… by this city. Her training is incomplete and this ‘drunken lout’ facade has been expensive to maintain. My patience is at an end and she has fallen behind. I will have to alter her memories again once we’ve left this place and that is expensive. Liquidation and disposal of the mother figure will be extremely expensive, especially if we want to make sure no questions get asked. Thus, you will pay me, or I will kill all of you and your loved ones. Your ‘movement’ will die with you. Is that simple enough?”
Another very protracted silence.
Junior stared at his walkie-talkie, wondering just what it was he’d stumbled into.
“I’ll… make sure the money is where it should be.”
“Very good. Go three blocks in opposite directions to the convenience stores there. Take separate cabs. This building is being watched.”
“What?!” the mare squeaked.
“I will be gone tomorrow, as will this structure and perhaps a large swath of this neighborhood. Along with that will go any evidence of our association. Your lawyers will eliminate any culpability you may have and cover my tracks. I have dealt with them before and their influence is vast.”
“Wha… What are we supposed to do?” one of the stallions stuttered.
Stone Shine’s chair scraped back. “You have a powerful syndicate of willing, desperate laborers who need money to feed their foals and, now, have no choice but to follow you or perish when the law comes looking for a scapegoat for the acts I and my associates have committed. May I recommend extortion? If you find that not to your taste, prostitution is an excellent option. There are also several new recreational chemicals which -- I have on good authority -- will soon be illegal. Early investment in that market will be rewarded.”
The four ponies muttered back and forth between themselves. Stone Shine let it go on for a moment, then added, “Leave now. You won’t see me again."
Junior waited for somepony to issue some kind of objection, but he didn’t know what they could say to that.
All of the sets of hooves soon retreated and the door slammed.
Soon afterwards, he heard it open again and a much smaller set of hoofsteps came trotting down.
Sweet Shine shuffled back, then picked up the walkie-talkie, unlocking the receive button. “Hardy? You there?”
Junior stared at the speaker. Slowly, it dropped from his hooves and landed on the bedspread.
He… had to tell his dad. He knew he had to tell his dad. That was the only option, wasn’t it?
Tell his dad he’d faked being sick and snuck a walkie-talkie to the girl trapped in a basement across the street whose father was apparently some kind of criminal mastermind -- instead of just a drunk, surly miner-- and was going to kill his ‘wife’ and brainwash his daughter with magic.
Riiight… said a voice in his head. What else was there? Tell Shiny her dad had erased her memories of her real mother? That he was...training her to be...something? He wouldn’t blame her if she never talked to him again.
He shoved the covers back and ran for the bathroom.
****
After peeing, vomiting, and otherwise expelling every optional solid or fluid in his body, Junior stood there staring at himself in the mirror.
He felt so small.
He looked so small.
His mom called him a ‘late bloomer’. She wasn’t kidding. He didn’t even have his cutie-mark yet and he still had most of his baby-fat. His muscles were puny. He couldn’t even hold his bat in his teeth without dropping it on every swing.
Downstairs, his mother was doing something that involved a great deal of hammering. It might have been dinner or it might have been building a chair. His dad wasn’t home yet. He could tell his Mom and maybe she’d be able to help. She could call his dad and then they could all go over there and…
Again, he was stuck with the unfortunate question. And then what?
Tomorrow, his only friend in the world would be gone. Tomorrow, he’d have lost her. Tomorrow, he’d be alone again and, if what Stone Shine said was right, their house would be gone. Maybe even the neighborhood.
It was too much for a little pony.
His rear legs gave out and he slumped onto the bathroom floor. Inhaling slowly, he put one hoof over his eyes.
Okay, so, Mom and Dad… might believe me. So, the police search Sweet Shine’s house… for reasons? They don’t just call me a stupid, imaginative little foal and walk away. Best case scenario? They find something terrible, Sweet Shine goes to an orphanage or something, and I never see her again. Worst case? They find nothing and he vanishes next week instead of this one… maybe after killing me and my whole family just to be sure.
Trotting back into his room, he put his hooves up on his window sill.
The mare from before was on her way up the street and her companions were already out of sight.
Shutting his eyes, he inhaled nice and slow, then looked up at the sky. The stars were just starting to come out. Somewhere, Princess Luna would be raising the moon real soon. He wished he could talk to her just then. She’d probably know just what to do.
It felt so wrong. So awful. So mean. How could anypony just tear a little filly away from her friends? How could they do that stuff to her mind? Shiny was always so smart and tried to work really hard and what if that was just the magic spells messing with her memories so she only thought that was what she was really like?
It felt so… so out of balance.
Junior realized he’d been holding his breath. His lungs burned. He gasped in a lungful of air, but the burn didn’t go away. Instead, it spread. His whole body felt like it was vibrating. His eyes shot to Sweet Shine’s house.
Something felt wrong. More wrong. Something felt like the sky was about to fall and the pigs to start flying.
His whole body shook with the sensation of it. He felt fire, boiling up in his guts, and it came to him that it wasn’t fire.
He was afraid… and something else.
He was angry.
He’d never been angry and afraid at the same time. One or the other, but never both together.
Above all else, a notion began to take hold. It felt like it’d come out of nowhere. He couldn’t really source it. He just knew he had to be there for Shiny. He knew, if he wasn’t there now, something in the world would always be out of balance.
Leaping off the bed, he yanked his bat from beside the bedside table and charged down the stairs, the wooden club clenched in his mouth.
His mother was standing in the kitchen, washing radishes for dinner, and she let out a frightened yelp as he hit the wall at the bottom of the stairs, then pounded past her.
“Junior!” was all she had time to shout, before he yanked open the front door, bucking it shut behind himself so hard one of the glass panes shattered. He didn’t stop to look at the damage.
His hooves hit the pavement as he rushed down the front walk, his eyes on Shiny’s house. If there’d been a wagon coming just then, he could have been paste, but it didn’t matter. He knew where he needed to be and the world had better darn well get out of the way.
Even though I know Sweet Shine lives, I'm so nervous. Another excellent chapter. Her father is a real pos and I wish I could bash his teeth in.
I nearly squeed when I saw the email that it was up! I can't wait for the next one. :)
...
...
...Okay...now I'm mad.
Being a criminal scum and a foal-abusing dirtbag is one horrible low, but brainwashing!!?? Messing with memories!!?? That's fucking with a person's sense of self, identity, and who they are at a fundamental level. It circumvents their free will and enslaves them. That is such a deep, massive level of wrong, and it just makes me furious. As, if not moreso, than Hardy.
Hardy, my boy, you better have left one hell of a mark on that fucking bastard, because we know that he's still alive in the present. Were it me there, that fucker would be lucky to be breathing.
And on another note, are we even sure she's actually his daughter? I'm still hung on that "special talent" of her's that was revealed earlier. Is it even really brainwashing going on? How deep does this madness go?
so this stone shine is some mercenary, and a dangerous one too. he sounds a lot like the unicorn bitch from the previuos arc, just full on homicidal and insane.
he might be acting all high and mighty but he definitely legitimately panicked from that news.
oh boy little hardy is getting himself in deeeep trouble here. guess he always had a knack for somehow surviving insane odds. though i must wonder how this goes down. and how this monster is brought down.
strange the monsters that spawn at the edges of the regal ones' grasp.
.oh dear i can only imgine what this trianing is. i cannot get out of my head that this monster had some perverted intentions with his daughter, though i can imagine what other 'uses' she could be used for.
she is able to adapt to what someone needs. that would mean she could have branched out skillset as well..............
though it maks me wonder something. who is taxi's momma then? it isn't the person there obviuosly. so who was it? and was she killed or is she alive somehwere out there?............
..................if it turns out her momma is actually a zebra, i am gonna facepalm. it would answer so much but raise so many questions at the same time.
4219428 Next chapter in 2 weeks! I promise, it'll be worth the wait.
Stone Shine WILL get his.
-Chessie
4219457 aaw damn it a delay. oh well should be good. least i had this chapter this week to help with the fact no new pony this weekend.
.........kay i am seriously thinking taxis' momma is a zebra now. maybe i am jut deranged and fixating on her black and white mane. then again i have a character in a fanfic i am workin on that i am making a Zony............. great now i got more conspiracy theories in my hed than what hardy is full on dealing with in the story.........
would be weird if that was the idea from the beginning. taxi did once say that she was descended from zebra.......... zonies are infertile.
Stone Shine is complete and utter asshole!
Also, is he responsible for the Jewelers?
...Wow. I was not expecting that.
4219660 Well, that's the implication.
-Chessie
Better writers than me have said it already, but I'm going to echo them anyway: I hope Hardy left a big, black-and-blue mark on Stone Shine, and I hope Sweets leaves an even bigger one on him, and soon.
LET'S GO.
Alright mini Hard Boiled action, now watch as he gets his ass kicked and his dad saves it haha. Doing a good job on this story, thanks again for writing it.
mother %?!#ing cliffhangers, i should have waited till next chapter
4220960 What makes you think I won't hit you with another cliff-hanger next chapter? Because I might. I just might. That or...I might not. You never know.
THEN IT ALL EXPLODES!
-Chessie
STILL can't believe that Princess Luna did nothing about this earlier. Seriously, I understand why Hardy'd father couldn't do anything but Luna had proof dammit. That aside, I noticed you used the word arcanotech at the beginning. I just wanted to say that I use that word in my story too, I mean I knew I wasn't the first to think of it but still, pretty cool that I found someone else who uses it.
4221103 AHH GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU MOSTER!!!
4221149 Luna, I imagine, only knew a bit of what was in Shiny's head...which wasn't much. Some abuse, some rough living, but she'd just told off the Princess of the Night for being a nutter during the war and all the really juicy stuff was wiped clean by whoever did Shiny's memories.
Truth be, that's a big part of why I wrote the side-fic as non-cannon or something that happened to them when they were young. I should probably just remove that allusion to it. I actually meant to.
-Chessie
4221243
What is it with you people and cannons? A cannon is a projectile launcher, a.k.a. a giant gun on wheels. The word you are looking for is 'canon'.
canon: a general law, rule, principle, or criterion by which something is judged.
4221338 There's a good reason Kasen is the editor and I'm not.
-Chessie
4221243 I... guess that works. Yeah I did kinda wonder why you alluded to it, it's why I made that comment.
4221493 I don't know that I've ever gotten a comment from you before (if I have, I don't recognize your art), but I'm super glad to hear from new readers!
I'll say, I'm genuinely worried about the next chapter. I have to give pay-off and pay-off is NOT easy with stuff like this.
-Chessie
Wow, Stone Shine is proper psycho-bonkers. Take it as a complement when I say you two have a flair for writing deranged and utterly despicable characters.
Two weeks is gonna be a looooong time to wait for the next part (it always is, dangit), but I bet it'll be absolutely worth it.
That a boy Hardy! Your friend needs you, and she needs you now more than ever. She is drowning in the darkness and you are her only light. It is not a question of can or cannot. There are some things in life you just do. Compensate for you innocence with courage and save Sweet Shine.
...So how was that for a heroic monologue? A bit short I know but I felt pretty good about it. Anyway, this whole situation is pretty fucked up for children to deal with. I can practically feel Hardy's innocence slowly breaking in this first encounter with darkness. Messing with memories is just a whole other level of abuse. After all of that I am surprised Taxi can even function in "normal" (I used the biggest quotes this comment box allows) society. I suppose that is a testament to her strength of character. Good on you Kasen and Chessie. I always read this story in the mornings on weekends and it sure is one hell of a way to start off a day.
abovethelaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/thumbs-up.jpg
Now, off to my therapist!
Did you really had to put cliffhanger here?
Thank you for making it more bearable than ending of the previous chapter at least...
I will not ask obvious questions like 'how does Stone Shine make memory altering?' etc - I expect we will see them answered in the next chapter, will we?
4222046 Equestria has a thriving black market in memory alteration. It's one of those things we might explore further on.
-Chessie
Junior, time to open up a can of WHOOP-ASS!
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This is delicious and I want more. More I say!
And I have full faith the next chapter will be amazing. You can totally pull it off.
i.imgur.com/wDrIBeK.gif
Yea! Go Hardy! Go make the world balanced! One baseball bat swing at a time!
This was a good chapter
*snarls
Hardy.
Fuck him up.
I could write (and have written) an entire wall of text about how much I love this story, but for now, you shall be spared. For now, I'll just say I love the characterization of the world and the characters, and that Taxi is best pony.
Another interesting chapter. So many questions, not to mention, aaargh, a cliffhanger. Was Stone Shine a cover name? What about Sun Shine? Is 'Sweet Shine' Taxi's birth name? Does she even know her birth name anymore? How close will Hardy Junior come to caving daddy's skull in?
4227337
Thank you for the kind words! Just... Trust me. We love those walls of text. Chessie prints them out, lights them, and inhales their essence. It gives her power.
--CEO Kasen
I can't put into words what this chapter made me feel. there was a lot of "oh SHIT OH MY F*CKING GOD" coming out of my mouth though. Good foreshadowing on the walkie-talkies by the way.
4230886
There were three weeks between Chapter 22 and Chapter 23, too...
-Chessie
Nyaaarrgh dat cliffhanger XD
I'm loving these flashback stories so much! Can't wait to see what happens!
Holy horseapples, Taxi's dad is the Equestrian version of David Cain.
And if he was training his daughter to follow in his footsteps, considering her special talent, the whole world should be grateful she got taken away from him.
4227817
Well, who am I to deny you both motivation and Chessie her essence? I did all but promise a wall of text.
The characters are as good a place as any to start. I love the characterization. Every character feels so distinctive, from the eclectic manager of the High Stepper Hotel all the way up to the more important characters like Iris Jade and astral Lark. It's telling of the story's quality of characterization that you brought in the four Stillettos in one chapter and yet they all still got a distinctive characterization of their own. Out of the minor characters, I love Iris Jade and Slip Stitch, especially, and it was nice to see their return in Act Two, even more so considering Jade's character development.
I mentioned it already, but of the main characters, Taxi is my favorite, with Swift a close second, and I appreciate the backstory we're getting in that direction. Taxi's just really fun to read about. She's badass, often funny (even if it's often unintentional on her part) and yet she's still got that depth we see in chapters like Home Is Where the Heart Is and emerging once again with the upcoming family reunion. Swift's badass in her own way, not to mention one of the most adorable characters in existence (I love how she ran over to apologize after blowing that thug's gun to bits), and I admire her loyalty and determination. I wasn't quite sure about Limerence at first, but he's grown on me some. I think it's probably the backstory bit we got at the magic show that did it. I also find his interactions with Swift pretty interesting, with the contrasts and her apparent interest in him. And, of course, Hardy is his own animal, sitting squarely at the center of things, delivering his clever lines and plenty of the story's humor as he struggles to create justice and sanity in the black void of Detrot's heart. It's interesting that we're finally getting to see his history with Juniper indirectly through his development and visions/hallucinations, and I look forward to seeing how that goes, among everything else.
Of course, I haven't even gotten to the world yet. I really think the world and characters go together here, each complementing the other and building it up, and furthering the unique tone in the process. Every part of the world illustrated is done so well that it's never boring, and builds up the story and its immersion further while often also delivering some bit of humor or another. Everything is so vibrant and colorful, and every locale has such character that the world's all but alive, itself. I particularly liked the Castle and Detrot Tenth Archive Librum Publicum. I also love the references, both to the show and otherwise — they're done with that subtlety all in-story references ought to have, and which fanfiction is often lacking, and as with most of the fic, they're always done in an interesting way and usually with a sense of humor to boot. I'm still trying to figure out (though I'm pretty sure) if Jade was referencing Discworld's Patrician. From the Scholar's dry, witty narration to Hardy's much more personal musings, it's all just executed so well.
I haven't even gotten to the plot yet. I love that, too. It's a proper mystery and a great adventure combined that really goes well with the… well, everything. It does start off sort of slow, but builds fast near the end of the first act up to the thundering crescendo at the Monte Cheval, with its explosive (poor choice of words?) ending and the Scholar's ending narration that seems straight out of a movie. I loved the beginning of Act Two, too, with Hardy's rude post-awakening, his reunion with Taxi, and his, uh, resignation — one of my favorite comical scenes in the fic, for sure. And now, the mystery thickens, with Swift's afflicted mutations, the cult and its strange and disturbed dealings, the thefts from the Archivists, Diamante (who I'm very nearly convinced is trying to stage some disaster in order to cut away ponykind's dependency on the Princesses), Ruby Blue's diary, and everything else going on. I really like how strong the characters are here — it really feels character driven, as if they're really in control of what's going on to some extent, and feels unpredictable in the best possible way.
I've talked a lot about Detrot's humor, and that's one of my favorite parts, but almost equal are the serious parts, the tragedy, the darkness. It's got all these things, too, and they're all done very well, with the Cosmos, the junkie unicorn, High Spirits and Calliope, Ruby Blue, Crisp Luck, Swift's mental breakdown, and now Taxi's backstory and demented father. I'm probably missing a few, and I'm not too sure what to say about them, other than that they're hitting their mark and hitting it well. "Thank you for writing a story so interesting that, as well as being awesome and regularly hilarious, also often drives me to the brink of tears and regularly beyond," maybe? Fits well enough, I suppose.
In conclusion, this is one hell of a story, and not only my favorite fanfic, but also ranking pretty high up there among with professionally published stories, too. It's well-written and just all around wonderful. Also, an obligatory, unnecessary and entirely unsubtle reference to sum up: I love this story!
All that said, I've got two more things to say! Lucky you. First, that friggin' library… I swear, it'd be worth becoming an Archivist and all just to work there. I love silly-huge libraries in fiction, and this one takes the cake. All those books… oh, and number two, I've noticed and noted a number of mostly minor technical issues in the fic while I was reading. Would you like me to PM them to you?
4234991 We've actually got stunning lists of technical issues. I'm not a mechanical writer. Kasen's the editor for many, many good reasons, not the least of which is I still am not sure if you're meant to use 'past' or 'passed' in various contexts.
He also understands commas. I hold the comma in a certain contempt.
If I were ever given the chance to fully edit this fic, I would, but it's grown too long to worry about that before it's finished. Once it is finished, I may see if a few of the community want to take a crack at fixing it up and making it pretty. My word-choice and many of the technical issues would be served well by just having somepony go over it with a light brush. Kasen's gotten better chapter after chapter, and Coandco is a genius, but a two week release schedule is VERY tight, particularly leaving time for re-writes and the strong possibility that some chapters might just have to be scrapped.
Keep in mind that they're catching 9 out of 10 mistakes. THAT is how bad it is when it gets to them raw.
-Chessie
4235443
Ah. Alright, then.
Now that was a reveal!
4241536
I have frequently asserted it was a strong possibility, from the beginning, that all of my characters would end up insane and sitting in a corner somewhere rocking and chewing on their own hooves.
-Chessie
I did dun some portraiture! X3
http://piecee01.deviantart.com/gallery/49104387
4242507 Those are AMAZING! I do so love your art, Piecee! Is Limerence still coming? I'd love to see one of him...you know, if you get the chance...maybe...because...erm...you're pretty amazing, yahknow.
EDIT; Wow...looking at these a second time, you just NAILED Taxi's expression. Haunted, a little sad, strong, smiling just a tiny bit like she knows something everybody else doesn't...
Swift is innocent, and cuddly while still sort of radiating smallness. How'dya DO that in a portrait?!
Hardy's a little distrustful, and not sure he likes having his picture taken. Very Hardy.
-Chessie
Damn you cliffhanger!!
I started reading from chapter 1 about a month ago, and now I've hit the end. It's just been sooo gooood from one thing to the next that I think I'm gonna flip waiting for the next chapter to finish telling us what Hardy and Taxi did as kids!
So not only is Stone Shine an abusive parent, he's also a mind controller and a murderer all wrapped into one.
Wow talk about a 3 for 1 deal, such value!
I bet crime rates will plummet with him behind bars.
As much as I applaud Hardy for going out there with his bat, I really doubt he'll be able to do much by himself, not to mention Sweets is still under the control of this guy.
I suppose it would be too much to hope for the walkie talkies to record the information as well. Though perhaps Hardy's own notes might help out somehow. Maybe the "mailmare" can help.
A lot of ifs buts and maybes.
Predicted result. Things go to hell.
Didn't expect the woman to be a prostitute for Shine's cover though. I guess that helps his cover.
My my, such bold words.
It's interesting how we're getting this story inside of the current story, and this story has still to be resolved. Though I assume that will be done by the next chapter or so, it still impresses me how you guys manage to keep all these sub-plots all wrapped into the main one so well.
4246615 We mostly bullshit our way through and hope nobody notices.
-Chessie
Well you asked, I delivered!:
http://piecee01.deviantart.com/art/The-Polymath-448105176?ga_submit_new=10%253A1397714636
4247066 Piecee is best pony!
-Chessie
http://piecee01.deviantart.com/art/The-Exponent-448125050
Not sure if this is exactly headcanon for him lol
4247529 No, no...he's really that gay...Well done! Beautifully captured.
-Chessie