Equestrians – travellers, celebrities, even national heroes – are being kidnapped. No one knows who is behind this, how they’re trumping security measures so easily, or why they’re doing it at all.
As part of an awareness campaign, fundraiser, and defiant statement, Rarity orchestrates a fashion show in Manehattan’s largest public park, aided by Applejack and several close contacts. Unfortunately, her statement proves a little too defiant; she and several others soon become the latest victims of the spree.
Even worse, that’s merely the beginning of their misery. For they soon learn the who, how, and why behind the crimes.
Another Crystal Empire exists, far darker and grimmer than anything up north. Fuelled by crystalline technology, esoteric forces which they cannot possibly understand move them about like pawns in a game. And “game” is precisely the point, for they soon learn that the victims are nothing but slaves for entertainment. Literally.
Without training, warning, or outside help, they are forced to compete in Magical Deathmatch, the most hellish fighting tournament ever devised, run by a demented sadist and designed for the sake of a broken society.
It’s not all doom and gloom, however. A rescue party is on the way. Allies turn up in the most unexpected of places. Whatever else happens, they have their wits and their strengths.
Most of all, they have each other. Rarity and Applejack, Applejack and Rarity. That should even the odds somewhat.
Rating: General reading, but some fight scenes will be more intense than those depicted in the show.
Please Note: This is a story in progress. Magical Deathmatch was initially written as part of National Pony Writing Month 2016, and is currently being continued for National Pony Writing Month 2017. Final version may be very different.
It probably says something about me that I love these dark stories where our favourite characters have to fight for their lives. Still hoping for a happy ending! I'll settle for bittersweet
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Regrettably, it might be a while before I get around to this one again. I have bad habits, sadly, and I made the mistake of starting this one without a finished draft first. However, it is on my to-do list, as I hope this year to finish one or two old projects, this one included.
As soon as the other commitments are out of the way, this is going to be continued. As a rough projection, I may start updating this one either later this month (optimistic guess) or next month (more realistic guess).
Thank you for your enthusiasm. I'll see what I can do to continue earning it.
This is so good! It's funny, it's exciting, it's so well written and I absolutely love how in character rarity is acting! It can be hard to make her more than a fancy and superficial fashion pony but she's so much more than that in your story. She's got an edge and her sense of humor is so on point I can't wait to read the rest!
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Glad you enjoyed it, especially Rarity's characterization. She's one of my favourite characters in the show.
an update!!!
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Trust me, I was just as surprised as you.
I'm not a fan of web videos like Death Battle. Will I need to like those kind of things to enjoy this story?
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I have no idea what Death Battle is.
If it helps, this is going to be mostly gladiatorial combat with sci-fi (ish) crystal weapons. Gore is not on the agenda. Most of the dark stuff is about the psychological grimness of the situation; after all, they are being pressured into destroying others for the sake of entertainment, with little to no hope of rescue. And yes, there are going to be casualties. It's a plot point.
That should be enough information to tell you whether you'll like this or not.
Asdfghjkl this is great
This is so good, i love your writing style and aj's pov is pretty spot on so far! Her being practical (her perspective on her heroic quests), honest (her conversation w cheese, which was also good to give us a glimpse of his character beyond his sillyness), and so quick to take on responsibility and try and protect everyone else (she's such a big sister, aj is such a good horse honestly). All this without making her actions and thought processes seem flat and boring but instead very natural coming from her. Nicely done, I'll be reading the next chapter v soon!
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I'm so grateful for your feedback. Constructive criticism is a fine thing in and of itself, but it's just wonderful to see such enthusiasm and detail. "Constructive encouragement", perhaps?
Of course, Applejack is arguably my favourite of the main six (tied with Rarity and Fluttershy), so I especially wanted to highlight what made her character stand out to me. You've hit the nail on the head; between her down-to-earth approach, her sometimes brutal face-facts-come-what-may outlook, and her "big sister" desire to help other ponies, there are so many fruitful character notes there that I don't believe I've even exhausted but a fraction of her potential yet.
In other news, it might be a little while before I update this - real life gets in the way all too easily, I'm sorry to say - but since I'm still aiming to meet my NaPoWriMo target, I should have a good chunk of the story ready later this month. Gotta get to the first proper match of the Magical Deathmatch season, after all!
Applejack was a massive queen in this chapter! That last line got me worked up, i really wanna know what's going to happen but ugh I don't want the horses to suffer??
This description is amazing
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Thanks for the comments. It's good to see you're enjoying the story. I just forgot to reply to these.
As for the suffering... weeeelllllll, like I said above, there are going to be casualties. I don't intend to make them graphic or anything (not "onscreen" anyway), but I put up the Dark tag and Teenage rating for a reason.
This is such nice writing??
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What a nice compliment. Thank you.
Gosh applejack and rarity's dialog at the end made my heart ache, i feel awful for them but i really enjoyed how differently they're reacting to the same situation. Tbh they're my favourite of the mane six but i think even if they weren't, they'd still be one of best choices to be thrown into this horror show because it's so... fun? Interesting? to just observe their character development. I wonder how broken they'll end up by the time they (hopefully) escape
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Aw man, I have to get back to this project sooner or later. It is on the cards, believe me. I've simply got a few other things to take care of first.
Moving on from that, what a lovely comment! Yes, one of the reasons Rarity and Applejack are so well-suited to this kind of story is that they have such wildly different personal philosophies and focus on very different things. For instance, Applejack keeps her mind on her family and principles, whereas Rarity keeps her mind on personal success and finding the silver lining to keep her spirits up. All without actually failing to understand each other.
That's why I aimed to write it so that, as much as - say - Applejack is concerned about Rarity's odd interest in the artistic architecture and the audience's approval, she can still find common ground with her friend. She's only prodding Rarity to keep her flights of fancy in check, not to shut them down entirely.
As for the ending... obviously, can't give that away, but remember this is just the preliminary match.
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Oh my god. It just the preliminary match
You put it into words, that's just what I mean with them interacting so well!
I hope we get a peek at what is happening in Equestria, I'm really curious about everyone's reactions and what sort of investigation is being put in place when two of the elements of Harmony (not sure which season this is set in) have been kidnapped.
Nice chapter to lay down some expositionary info my curiosity is spiked... Who is this stranger?