Everyone knows that Russia is shifty at best and about as reliable as back alley surgery. I mean, that's been a given in our world since Ivan the Terrible was around. Unfortunately, the Princesses of Equestria haven't exactly learned this lesson, and have left themselves terribly open to a cyber attack launched by the Russian Federation.
But what exactly is Putin after?
Currently relevant, absurd pony political satire. Teen for hidden innuendos.
A number of links are provided in-story at relevant points. Be warned, a significant amount of political flaming (biased against everyone equally) within.
EDIT: Featured 1/2/17! Thanks so much!
Alright, I'll bite.
That ending.... Oh man. You're a madman, sir, and I salute you.
Gotta get to an off-duty gig, Flagged for laterETA: BWAHAHAHAA!
I need more Trump tweets!
this is great
Anyone who upvotes this story is a liberal traitor and will be executed accordingly on the 21st of January along with every other liberal, moderate, "conservative of principles", non-Caucasian, non-Christian, every female who believes they are allowed to think for themselves, and anyone making less than $100,000 per year. Only when 97% of this nation's populace is culled as the animals they are can America be a pure nation again. Kill all liberals. Kill all the children of liberals. Kill all who associate with liberals. Kill all who do not support the killing. Kill until America is reborn. Kill. Kill. Kill.
If you're a paid Russian troll, upvote this comment.
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I'm glad you both like it!
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what the heck your problem.....
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Russia pays $0.001 per discourse-destroying extremist comment, regardless of where it's posted or how little it has to do with the subject material.
I make $19,821 per month.
Russian here.
I laughed my ass off at this
However... let me tell you something.
*inhales deeply*
GOOGLE TRANSLATE DOES NOT DO GOOD TRANSLATIONS INTO RUSSIAN AND TO USE IT FOR TRANSLATIONS IS HERESY AGAINST THE SCIENCE OF TRANSLATION!
No, seriously. Just PM me what you originally meant in English (Google Translate fucked it up so badly that I can't even do an attempt at reverse translation) and I'll give you the correct Russian translation. Bilingual Bonus works only when executed properly.
OHHHHHHH YAAAAAAASSSSS
It all goes according to plan alright
SOON RUSSIA WILL RISE AGAIN!
7837740 I figured the translations were off since it would screw up the grammar when I translated back to English.
I'll send you what I need translated when I have computer access. Thanks for the offer :)
This is fucking hilarious. I even love how you included links to articles on the leaked emails. This is fucking golden.
Obviously this is a Western Spy posing as Putin. Real Putin would be Slav Squatting.
That was really good.
7837670 What the actual fuck...
This is wonderful. Putin workin' his strat. Dat satire.
So this is now in the non-Mature version of the Feature Box.
Estimated time until we get a tweet from the President-Elect denouncing all of FIMFic while claiming he knows more about the true story than the author: twenty minutes.
(Which is a little weird when you consider that Twilight's a known Republican speechwriter.)
Yes, I know that's in the actual story, but it sort of bore repeating.
I didn't even read it, and I already love it.
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Read the spoiler. Satire.
Well that was a thing.
That was certainly a thing...
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/4/16/1133491__safe_twilight+sparkle_rarity_screencap_cute_smiling_princess+twilight_animated_grin_happy.gif
I look forward to the 20th
This was fucking amazing.
Russia is hacking everything nowadays it seems. Putin must wonder about that himself.
"Shit! I've never been so powerful before! What the freaking hell happened?!?"
No. No this was not a thing that had to happen.
Я сейчас прочитал редкостную ересь.
Google translate can be really silly sometimes.
why
Ah, Google translate, we meet again.
Nonetheless
Прикольный рассказик получился, уважаю брат.
7838006 That's not what I was referring to. I was referring to Comment #6
This is fantastic
i.huffpost.com/gen/1133558/original.jpg
Look at this man. Try and tell me this guy wouldn't get all the Equestrian mares.
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Don't worry, I've played enough Counter Strike to know real Russian.
RUSH B CYKA BLYAT
True One: Russia is the only great country, Putin is the real world leader, and I must know the rest of his magnanimous Plan! -starts to put a gallon of unknown vodka down his throat while lifts a T-90 tank with his free arm and two Russian babes start to seductively climb to his crotch, all, of course, wearing military camouflaged pants and barechested-
i.redd.it/jw3oda2bew3y.jpg
Hope somebody out there hadn't seen this yet))
What does CS:GO Russian Players Say?
10 russian electronic hooligans out of 10
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Rush B (on bear, of course!)! Дятел шизанутый!
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The worst part about this is that I taught myself how to read cyrilic a while ago but still don't actually know any Slavic Languages. So I know what is being said phonetically by you guys...but not what it means :(
I did get to put my seven years of German education to work on my World War 2 story though. ;)
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You may want to take back the claim that voting machines can't be hacked because they aren't connected to the internet.
7837670 Killed the 21st of January you say? Bitch please, I have more firearms than the entirety of Soviet Russia did. Not a big number to reach, but still.
TOVARICH! LETS PLAY ON BALALAYKA, DRINK VODKA FROM SAMOVAR AND RIDE MY BOEVOY MEDVED!
7838475 You speak heresy, by the power invested in me by Emperor Trump of the Republican Empire, I hereby sentence you to 666 hours of community service.
7838617 Too bad.
A. You people are far too paranoid about Russia.
B. HAIL MEMES
Filthy Rich won the presidency and there's nothing Harsh Winny and her voters can do about it. Filthy Rich will be Ponyville's new mayor and the Demotrot Party and the rest of Equestria' is going to have to suck it down slow for the next 4 years. Princess Kektsia wills it.
Hahaha! Oh gosh I laughed a lot while reading this. Well done!
The fuck did Twilight do to get on the God Emperor's shitpost list?
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*upvotes story*
*adds story to "finished"*
Worth the wait... Totally worth the wait...
Sometimes i really wish political shit was banned from Fimfic even though it's censorship. It's really not funny. Especially since there is literally no proof that the Russian government actually did it.
7838880 This whole thing is a satire. No one should take any of the commentary herein seriously.
7838880 I am Russian (there's a lot of Russians here on this site) and I don't believe in any of nowadays "news" about Russia. But it so bucking hilarious to read them!