After being accused by her friends and left crying in the hallways of CHS, Sunset Shimmer wanders into the forests surrounding Canterlot. While there, she discovers something that changes her life and begins an adventure unlike any she had been on before. An evil has taken root at CHS. It's time to fight for friendship, take hold of the light, and -
ULTRA LIVE! ULTRAMAN GINGA!
Co-Written by KR Chrome.
This is a good start, but I think you can do better. Instead of posting hyperlinks to the images, why not just put the images within the story text. There is an insert image icon when you paste your text for uploading. For example...this scene:
ULTRA LIVE: ULTRAMAN GINGA!
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSofx1J4Zhipd8DcUE0g0-_G_hRQgBnffGck7DDTRJ_d3Lg5nNZ
And when you describe Ginga, put an image of him like so:
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/ultra/images/5/56/Ultr_Ginga.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/250?cb=20170207032159
And maybe put in images to help give the image of the Taro Spark Doll and Ginga Spark:
Things like this can help give your story the much needed personality.
Not a bad first beginning. But it would look better with actual pictures instead of hyperlinks to images.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/ultra/images/1/17/Ginga_Rise.png/revision/latest?cb=20131110125417
BTW, if you're starting a dialogue sentence, start with a capital.
Sunset emitted angry growl and grabbed the Ginga Spark, "is this thing telling me, that it chose me, BECAUSE I WISHED UPON A STAR!? WHAT KIND OF FAIRYTALE HORSEAPPLES IS THAT!?" She threw the Ginga Spark away in anger.
"Is this". The I is capital. Other examples apply.
Nice start.
You have my attention, my friend! Love the idea of Wallflower already knowing the situation with Taro & the fate of the worlds!
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Fix your comment
Pretty sure you meant Earth was Doomed, not Dommed. XD Still, interesting first step! I'll be tracking.
All I can say about this crossover is.
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Is that good or bad?
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I personally have no idea. I never watched what ever this came from.
Can’t wait to see Sunset’s ultra form. Maybe once they figure who is behind the helmet and armor they might start to get a brain. Because of this question: why would Sunset be trying to save them if she’s anon-a-miss?
This is very interesting so far. It's nice to see another Toku Anon-A-Miss fic
After some consideration, I decided to move the symbol to Sunset's right hand due to having problems picturing it in my head.
This is good. Well, if I have to guess, it could be secret about Dust's sexual orientation, or her grandfather was the former athlete Wind Rider who was discovered cheating by taking enhancement drugs.
Funny idea. Angel Ultra Live to Lunaticks.
Lightning Dust's secret could be that she secretly has a crush on Rainbow Dash.
I hope Sunset rip in the other girls for how they acted to her in future chapters. I'm disgusted with Fluttershy for why she accused Sunset, following the crowd, I hope she realizes just how close she came to losing her friendship.
It all started when they found that stupid ball with the word idiot on it.
I'm personally more of a fan of descriptions rather than images, but I can manage
Drugs, definitely magical drugs, there is no other explanation.
The magical unicorn from another world is out of depth, priceless. If this would have been a green USB-like device things would have turned out much better.
Well, someone has a new friend, awww
Took the words right out of my mouth.
No, no, no! If you wish upon a star you get a switch, not a Spark.
Ah, our lovely magician.
Ok, this was fun. It's not bad, a bit rough around the edges, but I'm sure this will improve the further along this goes. And it's an Ultraman story, those are rare. I definitely will keep an eye on this story. More Toku is never something bad.
First successful monster battle & Fluttershy back on Sunset's side! All in a good day's work!
Is fluttershy going to find a spark doll?
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Even if she did, without a Spark she can't use it.
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If Trixie found one so can fluttershy. I could see this happening Fluttershy vs Rainbow. Or maybe Twilight vs sci-Twilight and the other match up
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No, Trixie was ambushed then handed a Dark Dummy Spark by an evil alien, she didn't find it. Read the last part of the first chapter:
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That's the good thing about sites like Wattpad, Fimfiction, and Sufficient Velocity and Spacebattles. You can add pictures.
But who is Anon-a-Miss? That's what we all want to know.
That was incredible fight between Sunset & Lightning, a great improvement from the 1st fight!
P.S. High schools do drug tests?
Fluttershy + Ginga Light Spark = ULTRA LIVE: ULTRAMAN COSMOS!
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Anon-A-Miss is the same as it is in canon.
I believe I've already figured out who/what the big bad is. I ain't saying a thing though.
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Oh.
That's a shame.
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PM me who you think it is?
Question what was the post that disgusted Sunset and the others. Doesn't seem to be revealed nor a clue what it was.
Rainbow is going be one of them isn’t she? Then the other will have to be applejack
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probably something not even relevant, like an outright lie.
ULTRA LIVE! ULTRA SEVEN!
ULTRA LIVE! MICLAS!
ULTRA LIVE! WINDAM!
ULTRA LIVE! AGIRA!
ULTRA LIVE! ULTRAMAN GINGA!
"Ready everyone?" Sunset said to her friends, now ready to fight alongside her using the Ginga Light Sparks.
"YEAH!"
No picture! Help!
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You're right, given that the secrets are only revealed if they connect back to the Ultraman plot. What the secret was, was just not relevant to the chapter, given that it was just to demonstrate Anon-A-Miss' desperation to keep up in a world of giants and monsters. Plus, if it was told, do you really think it could hold a candle to what you can come up with in your head?
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Here's what Pinkie's monster look like.
Great chapter, nothing too special since it was just Pinkie being Pinkie, still fun to read tho
Boy, that was crazy... but nice work. Above all, the next chapter is gonna be nuts.
I'm seriously hoping Rainbow and AppleJack lose their friendship with Sunset, with two stubborn and hypocritical they are. It can happen.
I've never laughed so hard in my life until I read this line! It was the highlight of the whole fucking chapter! I couldn't breathe at all for 5 minutes!
So the next one is going to be Rainbow Dash. But Rainbow is more stubborn than applejack. Applejack will realize anon-a-miss isn’t sunset when Rainbow gets saved by her.
Nice chapter as always and "Trend" better step off from Sunset.
Because you have a super-duper crush on Sun Shim?
Correct Pinkie, now if you all will excuse me I must speak to Pool about a favor he owes me.
Holy crap, someone not a happy camper.
Welp, it's a official, Rainbow has snapped & wants blood.... God help Sunset & the Rainbooms....
Rainbow Dash is an idiot
Yes Rainbow Dash. Let the hate flow through you. Strike Sunset down with all of your hatred and your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
Rainbow is next one isn’t she?