Princess Luna doesn't only visit nightmares.
Second place in the 13th Quills and Sofas Speedwriting contest. The prompt was "Drifting Away."
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Zontan
Joined 4th Feb, 2015 ·
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My god if this was second!! I have got to see what first looks like.
9871588
First place was some delightful EqG RariTwi shipping. The author said they'd post it Wednesday, you can check the speedwriting group for it then. =)
This is excellent, very understated and touching! I only wish I could have heard what he said -- I might have learned something I never really understood. Nicely done!
This is a well written speedwritten slice-of-life - very impressive. I like that what Luna hears at the end is not conveyed - the mystery leaves it to the imagination to fill in.
I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING /sob
Oh God the feels! I did a reading of this story on my channel, I'll leave a link of you want to check it out. https://youtu.be/xZZqfNz0FBI
Your story has been reviewed here:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213901/my-little-reviews-feedback/thread/435509/a-review-last-breath
Thank you for submitting it. ^.^
I really enjoyed this work. Family is often a cherished thing in one's life, you start with it, lean on it your entire life, and end with it too. Because it's such a mainstay in one's life, the thing you depend on, it hurts to have someone within it pass away. Though we all know this, I say it to set up my comment. Whit had been fading away within what I assume to be a coma, but his thoughts were always on his family. He clung to them as if it were the only thing that mattered to think about. What's more, the only thing keeping him alive was that clinging to the memories and a message. When Luna asks him for his response to his son's message, she knows that what he's going to say is going to make him let go. Let go of all he wanted to say, let go of all he'd been reserving, and let go of his life. This was beautiful, and a work of art, frankly.
... fuck, man.
That just hurt.
9871751
I think that NOT telling us what he said suggests that the fact that he replied is more important than what he said.
Intentional, author?
10230561 That makes sense.
Loveliest psychopomp of them all. Imagine how safe ponies feel when they transition from their mortal coil. A mysterious mare of the night descends from the inscrutable warm darkness, and listens.