"Mum, Dad," Flurry Heart spoke up, "We should be crystal ponies."
Flurry has learnt about colonialism, and figures the only way to fix this is for the imperial family— or at least her— to be crystal ponies.
... More serious than the description implies.
Intended to be a submission for the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad Competition
LOL, Shining Armour will really freak out at his new crystal daughter.
This will prolly go over worse than a tattoo or ear piercing.
This story was alright, personally I would've enjoyed a bit more explanation about why exactly being a crystal pony to her subjects is important, if the story was a bit more thought out, it could've turned out more engaging to read, but it is a pretty nice story all things considered! Good job!
I liked it. It's a unique concept and a nice short story, and I liked the descriptions of actions.
I found that funny. I respect you for standing by your principles instead of being a sellout like myself.
If you're still editing the story and aiming for more points: (If you're finished writing this, or if you've finished edits, I can take this section down)
EDIT: Nit on Americanization of names and accidental dot removed
Same for https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma/ or dashes in a few places, which can be subjective, especially for dialogue.
could be written as something along the lines of the below
"returning to his post at the lack of alicorn" seems like awkward phrasing or a partially rewritten sentence. There's many ways it could be written, e.g. "returning to his post after confirming the room lacked alicorns" may work if you wanted to keep phrasing it with the word "lack", or moving around parts of the sentence
11850687
I may not be aiming for more points, but fixing that accidental dot and unwieldy barring would just be satisftying.
And yeah, on the spelling thing, I'm bleh about american spelling and can't be bothered to change it all. Meanwhile for Cadance... kinda similar, but not at all helped by her name being Cadenza and the origin of the 'a' being a mystery.
11850877
I'm not sure of which of my remaining comments the unwieldy barring is, but I can delete the comment once it's fixed, or you're done.
Good luck with the contest!
I agree on the name and the 'a' being a mystery; even the canon disagreed before finalizing it. I'm not even American, but I use that spelling for fimfiction.
This was too short.