A bone chilling warbling howl brought Skywinder to awareness with start. His gaze was flooded with the rusty red of the soil of his homeland while noticed there was also a scattering of pointy bushes populating the area here and there. The heat reminded him of summer, harsh, dry and unforgiving to the point he could already feel the sweat trailing down his withers.
He knew that howl, any Tribesman would. Dust Dingoes.
Snapping to alert the colt's eyes darted to and fro taking in every detail he could as he searched for the origin of the howl. It didn't take him long to notice the vast red surface of the sacred rock, Uluru, or the small foal cowering at it's base.
The foal had a coat of purple and a mane as rusty as the desert sands surrounding it, crimson blood trailed down from numerous injuries, an eye shut tight to prevent blood from seeping in. It had a definite limp and one of it's wings hung limp as if nearly severed. Even from this distance Skywinder could tell the foal was in serious trouble even without the Dust Dingoes still in pursuit.
Worse, the predators knew their prey no longer had the strength to flee.
An ancient tongue, one used by the tribes for trading, formed on the colt's lips and tongue as he tried to scream for someone, anyone, to lend aid to the foal. To his dismay no sound left his lips and his own hooves refused his call to race to the foal.
One of the Dingoes pounced at the foal, sensing it's next meal was just moments away, when a blinding flash forced Skywinder to shut his eyes lest he lose his sight. As the glare died away the colt refocused his sights towards the foal, squinting through the after images of the few bushes that had been between them.
To the colt's surprise the foal lay completely healed and unconscious at the base of the rock and the Dust Dingoes reduced to fawn stains on the desert sands.
Motion in the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned his attention to the skies. What he saw nearly made his knees buckle as his jaw fell limp.
It was more vibrant, but he would recognise that plumage anywhere.
---
“DAD?!” Skywinder declared as he sprang bolt upright – straight into someone else's nose. Both parties fell back and clutched either their nose or forehead, groaning in pain.
“Owie...” A filly's voice complained will glaring half-heartedly at the colt, “I guess that means you're up, huh?”
The colt grunted in response while rubbing his forehead in pain, “Yeah, but it doesn't explain why you where standing over me...”
“Mummy told me to keep a close eye on you until you woke up.” The filly explained as the colt finally took the time to notice her appearance. A pelt of muted purple graced her delicate features, her well groomed mane, the colour of a pristine coastline, framed her muzzle while a pair of gentle eyes, which seemed to have been made from fragments of the sun itself, gazed back at the colt.
Skywinder maintained eye contact with the filly for a few moments counting the seconds until, “Oh gosh! I should tell Mummy you're awake!” before watching the filly dash out of the room before slowly lowering his face into his hooves.
Between the bashing his head into the filly's jaw and that dream... or vision... he could feel a migraine coming on.
He had never experienced a vision through the Dream before, it usually took years of training and dedication for an Elder in training to learn how to channel the Dream well enough for the Spirits to communicate so directly. They where also supposed to teach lessons to the Elder and the Tribe to help them survive, often using events of the distant past as metaphor...
But what he has seen wasn't like that... was it?
A moment later the familiar form of Cloud Kicker entered the room and Skywinder nodded to her in greeting, his hooves steepled in front of his face as he did so, “So we meet again, Ms Cloud Kicker.”
The purple pegasus blinked at the colt for a moment before choking back a laugh, “You look and sound like a regular Bond villian there kid.” With the colt's only reaction being only the raising of an eyebrow the mare smirked, and with a wave of a hoof added, “Long story and I'm not sure you're old enough to hear it.”
Skywinder grunted and adjusted the pillow so he could set in a sitting position, “So what happened, how long was I out?” he asked with a grumble.
“An old friend of mine, with a reputation for clumsiness, dropped her mail bag right on top of you.” Cloud Kicker chuckled, “Judging from your expression just before it hit I take it that wasn't the first time something got the drop on you?”
“You're right.” Skywinder confirmed, “It's not uncommon for young Gryphoness to use guys as 'target practice' to hone their hunting skills.” He grumbled a bit then added, “I was always a favourite target because I was smaller and more agile then the others... made me harder to 'catch' and thus a better way of demonstrating skill.” He looked Cloud Kicker in the eye and smirked, “Though seeing the less skilled Gryphoness' getting a face full of dirt when I stepped aside was always amusing.”
The elder pegasus chuckled before asking, “So why didn't you dodge earlier?”
“I don't exactly have to worry about getting dive bombed every five minutes in this country.” He explained, “I'm trying to treat this as a kind of holiday while I convince my parents to move back home.”
Cloud Kicker raised a brow in question before asking, “Why wouldn’t you want to stay here? Somepony giving you a hard time? Say the word and I’ll sort them out.”
“No nothing like that.” Skywinder replied forlornly, “Ponyville just isn’t my home. Too green, and the weather is the Serpent’s domain… having ponies change it on a whim just doesn’t seem right…”
“Ah.” Cloud Kicker nodded in understanding, “You’re homesick.”
He simply nodded in reply before muttering to himself, “A qamy Shimmeralis qim yeve.” Shaking his head he looked the mare in the eye, “I suppose you're right.”
The mare leaned in close and smiled at the colt, “Well if you're being forced to stay here why not enjoy it? Ponyville has a lot to offer to an adventurous young colt like yourself.”
Skywinder just grunted non-committally as he looked away from Cloud Kicker, his attention diverted by another pony entering the room.
“Thank goodness you're alright.” The grey mare exhaled as she entered the room, a relieved expression on her face. Her blond mane fell gently over her face as her gaze turned in his general direction.
He wasn't entirely sure if her full attention was on him as one of her eyes was lazily gazing at the ceiling. It was only years of dealing with some of the other creatures native to his homeland that kept him from staring.
“I've been hit with worse.” Skywinder admitted reassuringly. He faintly smiled at the memory of when he had been hit by that 'worse' thing.
He was started from his reminiscing by the sudden intrusion of a large brown thing entering his vision. It was a large round bread like concoction with a domed top and small spherical berries adorning the outside.
“Here!” The filly from earlier commented as she forced her way back into his awareness, having jumped on the bed with him and shoved the food item in his face while he was distracted, “It's nummy!”
Taking the confectionery with a sceptical eye he raised a brow and looked at Cloud Kicker, “Uh... what even is it?”
“A blue berry muffin!” The grey mare chirped in reply, “I baked it as way of saying sorry, I hope you enjoy them.” She smiled invitingly as his gaze returned to the strange foodstuff.
With all eyes on him he couldn't very well refuse and so, with some reluctance, parted his lips and tore off part of the muffin with his teeth. The soft substance sacrificed its molecular bonds for the sake of becoming part of a greater whole, while the colt's teeth easily rended their way through the soft berries.
Noticing the eyes of the other three in the room on him as he swallowed he blinked and smiled awkwardly. On one hoof he could admit it just tasted as bland as everything else he'd ever eaten or he could lie and say it tasted good. Though if they didn't question him about it he could-
“So?!” the filly chirped from where she stood next to the grey pegasus,ca “Mommy's Muffins are the best aren't they?!”
“I certainly think they are.” Cloud Kicker added with a wink at the grey pegasus who immediately began blushing even as she cast the other mare a warning glare.
Thinking quickly the colt blurted out, “It was good.” A fake grin quickly worked its way onto his face, “I can't really compare it to anything, but it was good.” His eyes darted between the mares and filly nervously, hoping they didn't pick up on the half-truth.
The grin that appeared on the grey mare's face told him she believed his words, however the fact the grabbed the tray on her back in her teeth and offered the additional muffins sitting atop it to him brought on a sense of dread. That dread was reinforced by the filly chirping, “That's great, we baked an whole oven full for you!”
“Uy Mevlerf'm Xeivb Ru!” Skywinder blurted out without thinking. Thinking quickly he added, “I really should be going, my parents are bound to be wondering where I am... so...” He jumped off the bed and made a break for the door, “See ya!”
A few moments passed in utter silence before Skywinder awkwardly trotted back into the doorway to face the surprised expressions on the mares and filly's faces. Coughing stiffly he asked, “So... which way is the exit?”
---
The day was as pleasant as one would could honestly expect for one of the co-rulers of one of the most powerful nations on the world of Inigur. Court had ended without major incident, no dire matters had been brought before her attention and none of the nobles had made an Ass of themselves.
No offence was meant to any Asses with that thought of course. Such petty things were beneath Princess Celestia of Equestria.
All that stood between the Princess and some leisure time was a stack of paper work she could easily work through in just over half an hour. With her goal in sight the Princess placed her flank on her cushion made of Phoenix down, to keep the Royal Plot warm, and lifted a quill with her magic.
Turning her attention to the paperwork she because speed reading the document to ensure the nobles weren't trying to sneak in some bill or another. Just within the last week they'd tried sneaking in one that enforced an Elective Monarchy and another that would have lowered there taxes.
She was honestly surprised no one attempted to slip in a bill that flat out usurped her power yet.
Finding the first document to be legitimate she readied her quill to sign it when she heard the chamber door burst open.
“Sister!” Luna declared with a hint of urgency in her voice, “Something most unexpected has occurred.”
Raising an eyebrow the Solar Princess asked, “What has happened, Sister?”
Luna stepped closer to her sister and spoke in a hushed tone, “I have encountered... a Dream Walker.”
Celestia's quill dropped from the air and splattered black ink all over her forgotten documents.
I hope this chapter i a sign for more to come?
3915041 Hopefully.
I tend to write more when my life gets more eventful, and I just went back to school (for the first time in 11 years) and my estranged father called me out of the blue to try and reconcile. If this is any indication then my life will be more eventful and I'll end up writing more.
TIS GONNA BE GOOD NO?
:luna shut up"
NNO NEVER
"I SAID SHUDUP!"
IT HAS RETURNED!!!!!
Also, I would definitely join a group like that!
That's an...interesting reaction...
3915387 I can't tell you even if you are right.
Because saying one or the other would be spoillers.
Oh, and this got featured briefly.
3915387
3915396
is it just me or does the former sound like the rainbow of harmony laser and the latter discord.
Good Story Hope the next chapter comes out soon.
Woah. In just one year, a return. Noice.
After a year of waiting you finally update, good, very good.
Also, I would be glad to join a group for this fic/world.
so this story is going to be bigger then I thought. I would just be happy with this story being about a colt dealing with all the weird fillies that live in that town.
I can't wait till he meets Pinkie Pie.
Why was Cheerile in the middle of the cover art? Shouldn't it be Scootaloo?
A colt who was raised by non-ponies, attracts all the fillies with his good looks and personality, has a special ability that apparently interests the Princesses, and is physically superior to all others of his age group. Huh.
Well, this is a huge world you are making, the things is that it took you a lot of time to write 10 000 words, mmm, I hope you don't have more problems to continue it, because this story is veeeeery promising, you are doing well so far, try not to lose your touch.
I sure love it when people take an interesting real life culture, strip away all the depth and complexity of it, don't bother respecting said culture's attitude towards portraying their beliefs, and then turn said culture into brightly coloured ponies and pony-like creatures.
I'm not going to pretend I'm deeply familiar with my heritage, but I don't appreciate you caricaturing it like this.
Nothing personal. I just hate modern Australia's ignorance of Aboriginal culture. This story is merely a misguided product of that ignorance.
I would join the group. Also I am looking forward to the next chapter.
you should have waited ~8 more days, cross, then it would have been an entire year with no updates =P
overall, I found this chapter nice. the story is shaping along nicely, and the lore is very interesting to read about.
However, it does have a few very noticable grammatical/structural errors, and could definitrly use a pre-reader, or an editor.
I'm on my mobile now, so I don't feel like pointing out the errors I found. If you want, l can do it later when I'm on my pc.
3919015 Help is always appreciated. If you still want to help I can PM you the gdocs versions via PM.
3918673 Understandable, and I really do wish I knew more. I have tried so hard to find as much refferance material as possible so that I could do it justice but the very nature of the culture and mythology makes it nearly impossible to shape it into a form that would fit without turning it into what it is. The details of the myths change from region to region with some regions having stories others don't, no matter what I did someone was going to say what I wrote was wrong eventually.
In the end I had to make a choice. I could either change and adapt to fit the setting of MLP and have a bloody good time while doing it, or not have any material to work with and not write the story at all.
It's obvious which choice I made.
I'm sorry if this story offends, but that is a risk I'm willing to take. No one story is for everyone, people would have gotten offended no matter what I wrote.
3918576 Good personality? Have you been reading this story? He spends half his lines being a bit of a jackass.
As for physical superiority, he hasn't overpowered anypony yet. It's even made obvious in chapter three he can't fly yet, and his race with Scootaloo was inconclusive leaving his speed in question.
As for the Princesses and talents... well that would be spoilers so I can't neither confirm or deny any hypothesis at this time.
3917999 This is more of a head-canon clash that anything else. I see the Crusaders and the other foals in the class, and Skywinder by proxy, as being of at least equivalent of early teens. Plenty old enough for that sort of thing. Also my classmates where doing it as early as 10.
3917944 It was supposed to be... but the artist went with Cheerilee.
3919180
Sure
3919272 Considering you had him raised by Griffons, and the only time we've ever seen a griffon was Gilda and we all remember how she was so we have no one else to compare to, he's being pretty mellow. It may seem a bit racist, but can it really be racist if we have no one else to compare to?
3919342 Actually the series has had a few other Gryphons appear, like that chef in MMMystery on the Friendship express and the athletes trying for the Equestrian Games. The chef was clearly french.
Skywinder if raised by Wedge-Tail Gryphons. An entirely seperate species to Northern Gryphons. This was done intentionally to give me a blank slate.
Publishing more chapters, will give you some fanart in the future.
3919272 makes sense i guess.
wow this was fun to read very well done
I'm sorry to see this doesn't have more interest! I found it to be delightfully fun and it certainly got me hooked on how this all will pan out for him.
A good point I found was the amount of detail you put into describing the characters and their actions without it seeming like exposition. The interactions between ponies having the details of like his mothers plumage puffing out when she saw him and the 'focus' that occurs on new characters entering the tale with his observations both added a lot of flavor to it all!
One thing to note is to be careful with using his euphemisms. I found them to be delightfully charming, but when the paragraph or two after commenting about an angry emu running he said something about an angry kangaroo running it hit me as tiresome. So I guess be careful about over using it to cover the same idea more than once a chapter? My favorite was the Hoop Snake one with Ruby Pinch hugging him. Hilarious side note from him.
Oh good, this story lives. Glad to see it, and I'm looking forward to more.
I have to say, though, I've never seen explicit references to molecular bonds when fiction discussed food before.
In any case, may you resolve your writer's block swiftly in the future.
3923054 Be glad I cut the paragraph that continued the molecular scale descriptions to the act of chewing.
3924485 I take it you enjoyed it then?
"lowered their taxes"
Heh, "lowered there taxes", as opposed to "lowered here taxes": discounts on where you put your business relative to the IRS office.
Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Maybe look at this sentence on more time.
All in all I find the story charming. It remains simple but the descriptions are wonderful and easily bring an image. I like the concept that he has been dealing with females in a very different way from being raised with griffons, and that those tactics might find him the opposite result. The scene where Scoot's chased him was great and I could easily envision it. Looking forward to how it turns out and what kind of relationships (friends and possibly otherwise) he will have with everypony, and more world building. Also, despite what others have said, I hope the mane 6 kinda remain out of this story. I don't mind if they appear now and then, but they just aren't needed in this story and shouldn't be forced in. But who knows what you have planned out so I await the next chapter.
Have a fav and a like!
I would write for this 'verse. But first, I must finish my own.
3938959 Judging from the fav I take it you did?
3939387 (pause in thought)
Actually yes. Gryphons don't have lips, do they... so they would use tongue.... (grumble)
when are you going to update?
3942024 That depends on a lot of factors.
When I want to update is within the next fortnight but that is unlikely.
3944521 read onword, the next chapters support my theory
3947766 Wedge-Tail Gryphons.
Gilda isn't a Wedgie.
well this is taking a fairly serious turn for a harem story...
If this dream walker plot device merely becomes a reason for Luna to join the harem I will be mad about the absurd waste.
Uhm... I think this is typo'd to death.
A better re-write might look something like this:
3952322
I'm thinking more of Magical Mentor Figure, and she starts giving him advice to 'deal with the situation' and doesn't realize he means 'get them to leave him alone' instead of 'make them like me'.
Cue things getting 'worse' from his perspective, while Luna is delightedly thinking she's helping.
Wrong version of "there", the one you use here is a reference to location (The book is over there), the one you want is "their" which is indicates possession.
when will there be a update
Im glad that this story updated after so long. I find it hillarious how Skywinder just wants to be alone but ends up making fillies falling in love with him. When will the next chapter appear?
Im glad that this story updated after so long. I find it hillarious how Skywinder just wants to be alone but ends up making fillies falling in love with him. When will the next chapter appear?
gunna wait for the edited version of the house of doo before reading it, very good story by the way can't wait for more