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Pinkie Pie is called back to her old rock farm when her father is found dead. While exploring the old farm she discovers a number of hidden passages, and her father's study which contains a book bound in flesh and bone, called the Tome of Eternal Darkness.
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Here before Regidar
1788418 Normally I'm against 'first' comments. But yes, yes you are. And yes, it is impressive.
1788430 Ya, squee
Ah, the green rune. It figures that Xel'lotath, the crazy bitch, would have her gross little hands wrapped around Pinkie's family. I suppose it's fitting, if Pinkie herself is any indication.
Anyways, a good start. Thanks to Two Best Friends Play, Eternal Darkness is currently fresh in my head, which certainly gave a little bonus to my interest in this story. A few grammatical errors here and there, mostly commas, but nothing terrible.
I would like to offer a piece of advice, however, as I do for people who do pony adaptations of games. Stick close to ED's normal plot line, but don't be afraid to take creative liberties in order to give it a proper pony flavor, as opposed to just copying the game's script and changing the characters to ponies. Making your Pious equivalent a servant of Discord is a good start. What I'm saying is this: give me a reason to WANT to read your version. If it's same as the game, just with ponies, I'll just want to play the game.
1788418 I hope you're happy when I'm banned.
1788430 Don't encourage him.
As for your story, where I will leave an actual comment pertaining to it, it was an alright read. Nothing great, but certainly not bad.
Is this a crossover of [The Evil dead series if so tracked and Faved
1788791 Sorry to disappoint
, but it's actually a videogame called Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem.
1788844 eh whatever I'll still watch it anyway [I kinda assumed it was a crossover with the evil dead series]
Doesn't seem too bad at all. I'll wait until it's further along until I give a better opinion/review. But so far, I agree with Regidar.
That cover art just burned a hole into my brain. I officially want nothing to do with this. Good day sir.
I'll still read the first chapter, but after that I'm out.
Unless it's good, in which case I'll stick around.
1788791 Eternal Darkness is one of the best games to ever be released on the Nintendo Gamecube. Sadly, since the Gamecube was rarely taken seriously as a "mature" gaming console, it didn't get the attention it deserved. It's one of the games that I remember to this day, despite it being around a decade old. If you have a Gamecube, or an older Wii that plays Gamecube games, do yourself a HUGE FAVOR. Find your nearest pawn shop or go online to ebay, and get yourself a copy of this game. Also, Skies of Arcadia... Get that too (It's an RPG, totally unrelated, but also WELL WORTH getting).
Eternal Darkness follows the story of a woman who goes to investigate the death of her grandfather at his spooky old home. She discovers a secret room, and a book bound in human skin that tells the account of eldritch horrors over a span of over 2 millennia, dating as far back as the times of the Roman Empire, and as recent as the First Gulf War. As you recount these stories, you take the role of those past characters, experiencing their story. As you mow through the horrors, you slowly lose sanity. YOu regain sanity by finishing off these abominations. If you lose too much sanity, you begin to hallucinate. Early hallucinations are basic... The walls bleed, you hear voices, etc. As you delve deeper into the realms of insanity, you may experience more drastic hallucinations. Wasting swings at enemies that are not really there. Walking in the wrong direction. Even further loss of sanity leaves the game really messing with you. You might walk into a room to find it has been inverted. You might play a segment of the level, only for the screen to flash and reveal you hadn't moved an inch passed that one door a room or two back. You might find limbs falling off your body. The game may tell you that it could not save because your file has become corrupted, or it may interrupt the video signal, to make it appear your console just got unplugged. Yeah... It fucks with you real good.
There was a running joke among some fans of the game when it first came out. "You have better chances wearing a red shirt on Star Trek than surviving the end of an Eternal Darkness chapter". I'm 100% serious about that... I think 2 people survive the end of their chapters.
1789730 Wow it sounds hardcore
This was featured fast.
1790115 I know it's the first thing of mine to be featured
).
Though it isn't there if you're looking with the mature filter off. It's always frustrating knowing that porn still beat you, (no puns, kind of
1790123
)
Well, good for you. And I doubt that porn beats this. (I haven't read it, Just liked it.
1789416 Aww, I didn't think that he was that bad.
.
Seriously though I lamented whether or not I should have Cover Art for a while, I wanted to have a picture of Pinkie Pie holding a Necronomicon since it has more to do with the actual story. But I searched something along the lines of "lovecraftian pony monster thing" and he showed up, it was love at first sight
1789730 You are right in all categories good sir!
Yes only two people survive their encounter with the Tome of Eternal Darkness, Alex, because she's the main character, and one of her ancestors who simply goes completely insane.
And you are right it is THE GREATEST HORROR GAME EVER, frankly the fact that fans of the game even remotely like this fic is pretty hardcore considering the subject matter, though I will attempt to improve the chapters as time goes on.
1788575 I apologize if I offended you somehow with my comment, I do see you everywhere on almost every blog post or something of that sort, kind of like epicdonus. But still if I offended you somehow by joking about your usual firstness then I do apologize.
On the subject of the story, so that I may improve, was there anything in particular that stood out as being improvable?
1790139 I say that because I do have the mature filter turned off, and only turned it back on for a second so as to check what you meant by 'featured'. While I'm fairly certain that it's changed by now, and someone else has the spotlight, the only difference I noted was "Core of an Apple". A second-person anthro-clop. starring You and Applejack, making steamy love while she's in heat. You know it's a weird fandom when Porn has recognizable cliches, like 'she's in heat, so of course there isn't a chapter or two of buildup, it isn't like someone could do that' (If you read any mature stuff ever, be it Xenophilia, i usually hate clop, but love that, I recommend it to everyone.)
1788430
Oh please, I've done that before. Not a lot, but some.
1790165
1788574 You sound like a very wise pony, an editor perhaps?
during the Pinkie sections once she starts to understand what's going on. Also not all characters will be ponies, I will leave it at that.
And you are right, any adaptation needs its own flavor, what is true for films, and games, and books, is true for fan fiction. Without spoiling anything I can tell you one minor thing I changed, the artifact. I split the artifact into two pieces, allowing for a little more
I'm expecting to see an Insnity Shotgun somewhere in here!
1790481
Ah, sadly I am not an editor. I have a terrible enough work ethic when it comes to my own writings, not to mention the attention span of a small dog. 'Preciate the compliment, though.
It seems like you've got this planned out quite well.
I'd add something astute, but I'm short on intellectual comments at the moment, so instead I will simply say I'm looking forward to more.
Hah, Discord replacing Mantorok, am I right? And usually when I play Sanity's Requiem, I pick Xel'lotath cuz it has the least annoying enemies. Besides, I love the sanity effects!
1792039 While I'm sure that it seems kind of obvious to have Pinkie Pie as a servant to Xel'lo'toth, it actually came out of the fact that this was my alignment the first time I played the game. I had Pious as Ulyaoth, and so I was Xel'lo'toth, it was really fun, and that particular pairing just kind of stuck with me.
This is what I feel Pinkie should be the star of. Deep, dark stories like this, that include darkness and death; plague and poison [overexaggerating, but you know what I mean, right?]
a little bit jittery at points but not bad, I might just watch to see where this is going.
i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag83/TrollestiaSubject/Reading/Clueless/160104__safe_twilight-sparkle_anima.gif
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So Awesome!
Hope to see more soon.
I love the story so far! Eternal Darkness is my favorite game on the GameCube! If I'm correct (feel free to correct me if this is not the case), the next segment will involve a dancer venturing into a temple in a jungle. Can't wait for more!!
Also, for future reference:
3-point Enchant:
UlyaothAntorbak MagormorAntorbak Magormor Ulyaoth
5-point Enchant:
Antrobak Pargon Magormor Ulyaoth Pargon
7-point Enchant:
Antrobak Pargon Magormor Pargon Pargon Ulyaoth Pargon
Hope that helps a bit.
1996387 Ah crap, I knew I screwed something up.
Oh man, this is so great! I really hope to see more soon.
This story is very interesting. I also played Eternal Darkness and to see something like that with mlp looks promising. I don´t know how strong you will stick to the way the game delivered it but I would avoid to retell the game just with Pinkie if you know what I mean. But hey, maybe I´m worrying about nothing and you planned unique chapters right away. Until now you have done a good job.