¡Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens is both an horrible remake of Episodes # Ⅳ & Ⅴ and SWINO (Star Wars In Name Only)! · 10:24am Dec 31st, 2015
Objective Section:
What Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens is.
I went to see whether Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens is a sequel to Star Wars Episode # Ⅵ: Return of the Jedi, a remake of Star Wars Episode # Ⅳ: A(n) New Hope (before H, one should use an), or a SWINO (Star Wars In Name Only). To my astonishment, it is both a terrible remake of Star Wars Episode # Ⅳ: A(n) New Hope and parts of Star Wars # Episode # Ⅴ: The Empire Strikes Back and Swino.
Subjective Section:
My review of Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens.
I did not originally plan to have a subjective section, but JXJ suggested it. Everything onwards is subjective.
Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens is a bad remake of Star Wars Episode # Ⅳ: A(n) New Hope and parts of Star Wars # Episode # Ⅴ: The Empire Strikes Back, while being a Swino. It manages to remake 1 Star Wars Movie and parts of another Stars Wars Movie without being a Star Wars Movie by lacking in grandeur. Real Star Wars Movies happen in a large universe. This universe is so small that one can see across it in real time with naked eyes and see what happens on other worlds. Let me use an analogy:
Imagine a stellar system with 1 star and lots of Jovian Planets, each with its system on moons. Make the central star dark, replace each planet with a miniature star, while keeping the moons, which are now little planets. ¡This is the ridiculous galaxy in the new movie! We went from sublime to claustrophobic! It is also the most scientifically inaccurate of all Star Wars Movies.
Writing this review makes me physically ill, so I shall wrap things up is 2 more subsections and then give a StarRating and rank the Star Wars Movies.
Inconsistencies with previous movies:
* Rey, the probable daughter of Luke Skywalker learns the Force, with no training in about one week, while Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker, with instruction, learned the Force over years.
* The universe shrank in the wash.
* Odd ball names for the Republic and the Military of the Republic:
The imperial Remnant calls itself the First Order. Given that the Empire had a civil war and this is the winning faction, it keeping its factional name is believable, but the Republic calls itself the Resistance, instead of the Republic.
* The leaders of the military are all twentysomethings. It takes decades to rise to General or Admiral.
* It seems unlikely manboys running the Empire could have built a new super weapon.
* Fin suggests flying to a different system in a TIEFighter. TIEFighters do not have hyperdrives, but since the universe shrank so much, one does not need FTL-(Faster Than Light)-Travel anyway.
* Leia Organa learned no Force-Abilities (improbable.
One can jump to and from Hyperspace from within structures and shields.
1 thing which was in accord with continuity is that Rey looks similar to Shmi Skywalker (her probable great grand mother), Padmé Amidala (her likely Grand Mother) and Leia Organa her likely Aunt).
Characterization:
Characterization makes no sense. Let us look at 1 character:
Fin is a Stormtrooper who decides to defect from the First Order because he does not want to kill people. This is a believable characterization. Then he and a pilot of the Resistance escape in a TIEFighter. The TieFighter had a tether attached to 1 of its radiator-panels (some morons with no understanding of physics call these solar panels). Fin had to shoot the tether for escaping.
In addition to shooting the tether, Fin murders many of his friends with whom he trained for years. So much for not wanting to kill people. Characterization goes downhill after that.
Rating and Ranking:
☆ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
Yes this movie gets 1 out of 10 stars on a scale of 0 to 10 —— ¡only innumerates rate things on a scale from 1 to n!
¿Why only 1 out of 10 stars on a scale of 0 to 10? I have seen worst movies, but not many. Those movies deserve 0 of 10 stars, on a scale from 0 to 10 stars. Since this movie is marginally better, it gets 1 star on a scale from 0 to 10 stars.
Ranking the movie:
1. Star Wars Episode # Ⅴ: The Empire Strikes Back Objective Section:
What Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens is.
I went to see whether Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens is a sequel to Star Wars Episode # Ⅵ: Return of the Jedi, a remake of Star Wars Episode # Ⅳ: A(n) New Hope (before H, one should use an), or a SWINO (Star Wars In Name Only). To my astonishment, it is both a terrible remake of Star Wars Episode # Ⅳ: A(n) New Hope and parts of Star Wars # Episode # Ⅴ: The Empire Strikes Back and Swino.
Subjective Section:
My review of Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens.
I did not originally plan to have a subjective section, but JXJ suggested it. Everything onwards is subjective.
Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens is a bad remake of Star Wars Episode # Ⅳ: A(n) New Hope and parts of Star Wars # Episode # Ⅴ: The Empire Strikes Back, while being a Swino. It manages to remake 1 Star Wars Movie and parts of another Stars Wars Movie without being a Star Wars Movie by lacking in grandeur. Real Star Wars Movies happen in a large universe. This universe is so small that one can see across it in real time with naked eyes and see what happens on other worlds. Let me use an analogy:
Imagine a stellar system with 1 star and lots of Jovian Planets, each with its system on moons. Make the central star dark, replace each planet with a miniature star, while keeping the moons, which are now little planets. ¡This is the ridiculous galaxy in the new movie! We went from sublime to claustrophobic! It is also the most scientifically inaccurate of all Star Wars Movies.
Writing this review makes me physically ill, so I shall wrap things up is 2 more subsections and then give a StarRating and rank the Star Wars Movies.
Inconsistencies with previous movies:
* Rey, the probable daughter of Luke Skywalker learns the Force, with no training in about one week, while Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker, with instruction, learned the Force over years.
* The universe shrank in the wash.
* Odd ball names for the Republic and the Military of the Republic:
The imperial Remnant calls itself the First Order. Given that the Empire had a civil war and this is the winning faction, it keeping its factional name is believable, but the Republic calls itself the Resistance, instead of the Republic.
* The leaders of the military are all twentysomethings. It takes decades to rise to General or Admiral.
* It seems unlikely manboys running the Empire could have built a new super weapon.
* Fin suggests flying to a different system in a TIEFighter. TIEFighters do not have hyperdrives, but since the universe shrank so much, one does not need FTL-(Faster Than Light)-Travel anyway.
* Leia Organa learned no Force-Abilities (improbable.
One can jump to and from Hyperspace from within structures and shields.
1 thing which was in accord with continuity is that Rey looks similar to Shmi Skywalker (her probable great grand mother), Padmé Amidala (her likely Grand Mother) and Leia Organa her likely Aunt).
Characterization:
Characterization makes no sense. Let us look at 1 character:
Fin is a Stormtrooper who decides to defect from the First Order because he does not want to kill people. This is a believable characterization. Then he and a pilot of the Resistance escape in a TIEFighter. The TieFighter had a tether attached to 1 of its radiator-panels (some morons with no understanding of physics call these solar panels). Fin had to shoot the tether for escaping.
In addition to shooting the tether, Fin murders many of his friends with whom he trained for years. So much for not wanting to kill people. Characterization goes downhill after that.
Rating and Ranking:
☆ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
Yes this movie gets 1 out of 10 stars on a scale of 0 to 10 —— ¡only innumerates rate things on a scale from 1 to n!
¿Why only 1 out of 10 stars on a scale of 0 to 10? I have seen worst movies, but not many. Those movies deserve 0 of 10 stars, on a scale from 0 to 10 stars. Since this movie is marginally better, it gets 1 star on a scale from 0 to 10 stars.
Ranking the movie:
1. Star Wars Episode # Ⅴ: The Empire Strikes Back
2. Star Wars Episode # Ⅲ: Revenge of the Sith
3. Star Wars Episode # Ⅱ: Attack of the Clones
4. Star Wars Episode # Ⅳ: A(n) New Hope
5. Star Wars Episode # Ⅵ: Return of the Jedi
6. Star Wars Episode # Ⅰ: The Phantom Menace
7. Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens
Star Wars Episode # Ⅶ: The Force Awakens is the worst of the movies by a wide margin.
I finally got around to seeing SW VII, and...yeah, it's pretty shit. That said, I take issue with part of your post:
I disagree, especially for a scale presentation like the one you used (☆ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭). Why? Because having zero of something is hard to show clearly. If you use a varying number of symbols (☆; ☆☆; ☆☆☆; etc), a zero would be empty space. How should the reader know that that empty space is significant? In this case you use a fixed number of symbols, which avoids this particular issue, but has one of its own: "☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆" vs "✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭"....which one is which? There's no way to tell other than looking at the text, which renders the stars useless. "✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭" looks like a 10/10, even though it's supposed to be a 0/10. By making the lowest possible rating a 1/10, you avoid this ambiguity: "☆ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭" is clearly 1/10 (assuming a LTR reading order, which is a perfectly reasonable assumption in a post written in English). Starting from 0 is mathematically attractive, but if you want to use a visual scale, starting from 1 is more clear.
3673105
I see your point. I use stars becaus JXJ wanted a star rating with 10 stars. I shall reiterate my logic, just so you will not have to hunt for the information buried in the text of the blog and then show what I would like to do:
The the logic is that all rating scales are really only 0 to 1 or -1 to +1. We use scales from 0 to n or from -n to +n for eliminating the radix-point. A scale from 1 to n is innumerate.
What I prefer when using decimal like on the Planet of the Apes we see in the Equestrian Movies with Girls in them, is either 0 to 9, or -9 to +9 with leading signs required or 00 to 99 with leading 0s required or -99 to +99 with both leading signs and 0s required.
My rational is that if we keep the digit-length consistent and require signs, we can catch many errors. This system is my no means error-proof, but every bit helps. Psychometrics usually uses a scale of 0 to 9 or from -9 to +9. Here is an example of the scale in testing an hypothetical candybar:
-9:
Sorry, but the smell of the candybar made me vomit on your thousand-dollar Italian Suite.
0:
The candybar exists. That is all I have to say about it.
+9:
¡This candybar is the bestest thing evar!
On an absolute scale, the Farce Awakens, on a scale of 0 to 9, gets a 1 from me, because I saw worse, but not many. On a relative scale where 0 is the worst Star Wars Movie and 9 is the best Star Wars Movie, I give the Farce Awakens 0.
I hope that I clarified my position.