Would be appreciated if someone could review my story Who Am I please?

Hello,

I would like someone to review and critique a fanfic I wrote:

The Strength of Friendship

The story follows the mane 6 being invited by Princess Celestia to join her and Princess Luna in attendence for the Pony Wrestling Federation biggest event of the year: Hoovamania. Trouble erupts when they are challenged by the wrestling stable, the P.W.O. (Pony World Order), to face them in a match at the event. The P.W.O. want them to prove they can fight and defend themselves without the aid of magic, wings and the Elements of Harmony. After hard pressure, the mane 6 accept the challenge and face off against the P.W.O. at Hoovamania in a 6-on-6 Elimination Match.

I'm mainly looking for critiques on grammer, overall writing style, and descriptive writing. I want to improve more on descriptive combat writing.

Hi, I posted my three first stories that have not been edited, actually. It's absolutely not urgent, but if you have time, I'd appreciate if a grammar nazi checked them

Links:
Paralysis
Cutie Mark Avoidance Team
Luna vs. Chess

Ok What if is posted how do I go about putting it in the reviews and edit section? Cause I woul like to see some reviews on it to help me with ideas.

508966

You mean how do you post your story here?

Well, open the story you wish to have reviewed. There will be an "Add To Group" button there. Click it, then search for Love and Tolerate: there will be several folders there. Click on "Stories To Be Edited or Reviewed"... and done!

Then make a post here with a link to the story, asking for help and telling us a bit about it.

What if Here it is. Basically the focus and idea about this story is about the world of My Little Pony as we have never seen it before! Next few chapters will go into detail about Equestrian culture, technology and Equestrian genesis. There will be trying times no dout as the humans, some if not most, will resist their new neighbors. Things like intolerance, bigotry and cultrual divides are going to be obstacles the Equestrians and humans must over come if they want to live together in harmony.

Also the rating will later change to mature as I am going to write out a 2-3 chapter long part of the first human/pony relationship. Now, there will be clop (not sure how far I am going to go, but rest assured it will be a loving intimate scene to help build trust between the two) as I want to show these two individuals being intimate with each other, after some trusting bonds are formed. But this is not to say it will be a smooth ride! We all know of racism and intolerance in our world today, and this will test the very bonds these two are trying to form. It will be a bumpy ride to say the least. I was also thinking of including some links to music, so readers could have some emotional backdrop to add to the scene. I pictured some really nice scenes of these two learning to trust, learning to love on another. Even when the cards are not in their favor. But enough of my ramblings (unless you want to hear more ) let me know what you think so far! And thanks for taking a look.

I need some help getting the prose in this soap opera fic up to par.

513411

I have added it also to the review folder.

You should also talk a bit about it, like ratings and themes. That will make it easier to find a reviewer.

513418
Well then...
It's a ludicrous soap opera about brain trauma and spirituality, with a bit of romance tying a large amount of the plot together.

513426

Not many details, but it will do.

Just wait until a reviewer contacts you.

I would like some help proofreading my new fanfic.

It will be a pretty general one, being rated Everyone.

If you are interested, please P.M. me so we can get in details.

Head's up to those interested. I am looking for creative help and opinions on my current story What if. Anyone wanting to help out please message me. A word of warning though... This story will contain suggestive material, mature/adult humor, swearing and vulgar language. Things like Sexual innuendos, adult humor, bigotry and eventually sex. Not descriptive and overly clop, but 'intimate' scenes nonetheless. This story is also based in a alternate universe of MLP so expect the unexpected.

Edit: Story eventually (when the events happen) will be changed to a mature rating.

I just would like a quick review of my story here:
I know it's not very good, but I already started it, so I might as well see it through. It has a couple more dislikes than likes, but nobody is telling me why.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/71120/the-great-multiverse-theory-repairs-and-recordings

I was told to get an editor, mainly for grammer checks and storytelling conflicts/weirdness. Anyone here willing to?
(Tangential to the Chess Game universe.)

Would it be okay if someone here reviewed my first work here?

Be warned, it's a mature-gore fic.

Here's a link.

Ok, we have posted "Royal Tears" and need feedback on whether or not the story was over emotional, under emotional, or just right. Along with that, feel free to tell me spelling errors, considering I had an English teacher spellcheck it for me

Ok, I have posted my fic The Element of Hate and I would appreciate constructive critique, feedback, and advice. I already know that there are grammar and punctuation errors, I would appreciate it if you guys will tell me where the errors are and how to fix it.(if it's possible would you kindly like it?)

Alright, my writing scares the crap out of me.

Sometimes, when I'm writing a scene or conversation out, I feel like the entire thing was way shorter than I expected it to be.

Maybe it's just me, but does anyone else have this problem? If so, how do I overcome it?

Hello people in "Love and Tolerate", Time to Love and Tolerate the errors in my chapters!

Actually, I need some help, some solid reviews for my story Bonds Beyond Species. It is a Human in Equestria story, focusing on the travels of young... if term nerd or otaku is offensive, let me know as he is both and I don't know what to call it. He is travelling with Lyra Heartstrings across the world, learning more about other species and how their culture differs from that of Equestrian ponies. Romance and Adventure, and Human tag of course.

The problem? I want to edit the early chapters so they are appealing to the new readers but they do not change the plot at all, so old readers won't have to reread them. That's why I need solid reviews and feedback.

Another problem, I am unable to come up with good names for the characters that they meet, neither cities. If you would like to help me, just let me know.

I would appreciate critique on my two fics In the Shadow and the Light and Vengeance of Dawn, especially the former, as it wasn't very good before but I would like opinions on the extensive rewrite I've just finished on the first six chapters.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/96613/the-last-dragonkin#page/1 Need help with this story that will not include any of the hate I am already receiving.

Edit: Redid prologue, hope you all like it.

Hello,
I'm working on my first fic and have several chapters published, I'm looking for any constructive feedback or reviews that anyone feels like providing. Thanks in advance!

Here's the fic: Banished Shadows

Hello everybody. I dunno if anyone will reply to this given that the last post is over 14 weeks old, but i try anyway:

I need help with my grammar in my fic "Mayor Mare´s Secret". I´m pretty bad at english so any help would be really great.

Thanks alot.

Hey guys, I'm hoping one of you guys might lend me a hoof on something. Well actually I'm asking for help for another person. You see there is this writer who asked me for some help editing his very first story, and I said sure but I don't think my editing skills are well enough. His story . . . let's just say he's a very new writer and his first story when he submitted first time he got 44 dislikes. Then the second time he put it up with my help he ended up with 13 dislikes and people were giving him a hard time about it.

He does to this day has some help, I don't know who's helping him right now other than me. But he said he would like to have more help. But I think he needs help with not only to help him edit or proofread but maybe someone to give him some confidence. So if anyone is interested in helping this new writer out here's the link to his page (link). His story is an alternate universe love story with Applejack and an OC he created. I think this story is great but it needs some extra help. Here's the link to his story. Applejack & Shadow Stalker's Love Story.

Thanks for giving this a read.

448991 I'd just like a review. I don't think my story's bad, but I'm always looking for us to improve. I'd also like to find an editor.

I would just like a review of the the content of my story. Perhaps spelling and grammar as need be, but mostly just the ideas in it. Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk

Hello, and and all.
A Muzzling Good Night seems to be stuck at a scene, no idea where to move it, from where they are.
The current scene is inside of "Black Scorpion's" vehicle.
If anyone have and idea what the film is, or how to move the story forwards?

Hello, people. I seek a reviewer to take a little look at my latest fic "Stay the Night." It's a short fic involving Octavia attempting to resolve some bad blood with Vinyl before the effects are irreversible. Some light shipping and drama-laced elements are involved. It's tagged Romance, Sad, Slice of Life, and Drama.

If anybody is willing to give it a read and let me know their thoughts and perhaps on how I could write similar stories in the future, that'd be awesome.

I need adivce on beginning to plan a story. I wanted to make a sad story with a touch of romance but I just don't have any clue how to plan any of this.

448991
I have a FALLOUT: EQUESTRIA fic with a complete first chapter and desubmitted second chapter, more trouble with it than anticipated. I see little reason to explain the concept as you can just look at my user page and read the large description, even though... it only explains the history behind it. Okay, the idea is having a Fo:NV type of story with a seasoning of PROJECT HORIZONS, as well as a lot of references to popular movies and video games and a hint of comedy. For example: