EPipes

• MLP: FiM
• Horror

Twilight hears the knocking of pipes in the night.

• Twilight

Flashgen · 3k words  ·  381  6 · 5.9k views

Overview
In this review I have decided to focus on the character, flow, and how it made me feel. Spoilers abound so make sure you have read it beforehand!

Here we have another spooky little oneshot, this time following Twilight as she tries to investigate what is causing the knocking sound in her pipes. Despite being a little short, capping just under 3,000 words, this story has some intense moments and great build up of suspense. And, to top it off, it won first place in a speedwrite contest! I looked at the rules for that contest, and it was pretty tight - 48 hours to write but a maximum word count of 3,000, with author Flashgen's prompt being 'Sweating Bullets'. I'll be honest, I would have tagged this story as more of a 'thriller' than 'horror', but that's just my personal opinion. Now then, onto the review!

Character
Twilight's character throughout felt right and authentic for the most part. She approached the situation very logically, calling a plumber and then trying out his solution on her own to stop the knocking sound. She is also rationally irrational in that she realizes that she is being ridiculous, something I empathize with heavily. I really like how the author described this though, as it is a very common 'Twilight' reaction, but I have seen it done...not so well. Here, however, I feel the nuances make it just right.

Flow
The story starts calmly, with Twilight waking up to a knocking sound in the middle of the night. It is described as a slow wake up, groggy and with her mind trying to 'cling to the dreams it was raised out of'. She determines the knocking sound to be something in the pipes and makes a note to call the plumber the next. The visit seems to go normally enough, with the plumber suggesting it is just air in the pipes and even showing Twilight how to get them cleared out. That night is where it starts to get interesting though. Twilight has trouble sleeping and gets up to get a drink of water, but something just doesn't feel right. She jumps at what seems to be a shadow in the corner of her eye and gets increasingly nervous as she gets her water and writes in her journal before slowly falling asleep. The third night is when everything kicks into high gear. Twilight awakes with a start and spills the water beside her bed and when she goes to clean it up, there's a figure standing in the room. And then, as she lights her horn to flip on the light switch, she sees a face right in front of her own! (Talk about a jumpscare! Maybe that's where the horror tag really comes in, hmm...) The face disappears, but then there is that knocking again, in a steady, walking pattern. It passes by her bedroom door and she slowly opens it, bolting out as a shadow 'overtook her own'. She runs out of her room and through the castle, being chased by this thing and flipping on light switches as she went. Eventually she locks herself in a bathroom, with the knocking growing the loudest its been and she screams for it to go away. She fires off a magical blast and almost hits Spike with it, and suddenly, everything is okay. They joke a little bit of Twilight just having a nightmare and such and the story concludes rather quickly after.

How it made me feel
This story had me on edge through most of it. Even after the plumbers visit and everything seemed okay, I just knew. Something was still wrong (and it wasn't that I still had over half a story to go lol.) I also loved the little detail on how the knocking sound resembles, at first, a 'gentle trot', then 'trotting', then 'walking' and finally a 'cacophonous din of noise' that surrounds her. I will admit I was a little let down by the ending, where Twilight locks herself in a bathroom and she almost hits Spike with a blast of magic. The last lines kinda leave a bit of a creepy vibe, saying that the knocking never came back but Twilight never used her magic again at night. That last bit in particular seems an odd detail when it isn't really explicitly stated that..whatever was there was agitated or triggered by her magic. However, this doesn't detract from the story for me overall. I really enjoyed the spoopy vibes and tension; its a bit of a slow burn that just leaves you on edge afterwards.

Who else might like this
People who like short spooky stories, fans of paranormal activity, and those who don't mind an 'inconclusive' ending.

Note to the author
Well, I have actually already aired my few grievances with this story with you personally, but let me restate that overall I did enjoy this one. And after knowing the backstory behind it and the inspiration, it definitely makes a lot more sense and made me like it even more on my next read through. Definitely deserving of first place my friend.