The Titans' Orb: Rising Storm

by Mister Horncastle

Chapter Two: A Grizzly Situation

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“Okay, so what are the dangers?” asked Twilight, “In Brazil, we had Inigo, followed by crocodiles. In Ukraine, we had monsters and freaking zombies! So what’s in store for us in Portugal, huh?”

“Honestly?” I muttered as we walked back to camp, “I don’t think there’s much of anything in Portugal as far as dangers go. It’s a popular holiday destination, so it can’t be that bad. I think there’s like one, maybe two types of venomous snake?”

“What about other humans? Is it a violent country?”

“Uh, not that I’m aware of.” I answered honestly, shrugging, “I’m pretty sure it has a low crime rate, otherwise it wouldn’t be such a tourist hotspot. Obviously, no place is perfect, but I’m inclined to wager it’s a lot safer than where we’ve been thus far.”

“Well, that’s comforting for once.” she huffed.

With my phone still in hand, I zoomed in further on the marker, just to be sure where the fragment really was in the country. It appeared to be somewhere in the far north, in a mountainous region not far from Spain’s border. Glancing at me as we walked, Twilight cleared her throat and gestured to my hands with her muzzle, stopping for a moment to speak with me.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now… When we get back to camp, I’d like to make some modifications to that phone of yours. That thing is now our best way of tracking down the shards, so if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to improve on it.”

At this, I tilted my head and furrowed my brow.

“What kind of modifications?”

Clarifying as to what she meant, Twilight explained that when she had resonated with the device just now, she had been able to do far more than merely put a marker on my map. Apparently, her magic had allowed her to… feel, as it were, the ins and outs of the phone’s functionality. From data storage, to applications, to the thumb-print scanner, even the very operating system, they were all things that Twilight might be able to alter if given the chance. Essentially, Twilight was hoping to do some mad science on the device, and if it worked, I would be left with a device unlike anything humanity had ever seen. It would be a hybrid between magic and technology, and I was all too excited to let her try.

“Mate, so long as you don’t break the damn thing, by all means, go for it.” I told her with a smirk, “What you’re suggesting sounds like a science experiment with a potentially huge payoff!”

“That’s what I was thinking.” she concurred, “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Glad?” I echoed, “With how much you hate me, I’m just surprised we’re on the same page!”

The mare’s body visibly stiffened at that, followed by her ears falling to the sides of her head, giving away just how much the remark had stung. However, for all the grief she had given me lately, I couldn’t have cared less. If she wanted to apologise and work towards sorting things out with me, then I was more than open for that, but for as long as this back-and-forth went on, I refused to feel guilty for hurting her feelings.

She fell quiet after that, which suited me just fine, and so we plodded back to camp in silence.

It was now properly light outside, and upon our return to the clearing, the two of us found our blood running cold, and it wasn’t at the weather’s behest. Breaking into a sprint, the two of us rushed to the upturned mess that was once our camp. The saddlebags were scattered hither and thither, with Applejack and Twilight’s tent being torn apart.

“What the fuck happened here?” I blurted out.

“Forget that…” said Twilight, “Where are the others!?”

She charged into Rarity’s tent to look for them, while I rushed into Fluttershy’s. They weren’t here, and so we took to calling them. Shouting their names warranted no reply, and without knowing what else to do, we started to search for clues, and soon enough, I found one, in the form of tracks.

“Twilight…”

“What?”

“These aren’t hoofprints…”

Looking to where I was pointing, the unicorn’s eyes widened so much that they might have fallen out. The tracks I had found didn’t belong to any pony, nor to any man.

They belonged to a bear…

Kneeling down, I compared my hand to the size of the prints and shuddered; this thing was massive. Gulping, Twilight suggested we followed the tracks. Without uttering a word, I retrieved Krocsbane from my rucksack and followed her.

We hadn’t been going for long when we heard the others. Their voices were shrill and panicked, and amongst them came the howling of someone in a great deal of pain. Fearing the worst, we picked up the pace, and soon enough we found them.

“Oh Jesus Christ…” I murmured, freezing on the spot.

The sight before me was something akin to that of a war film. The muddy ground was generously splattered with blood, and lying on her side, gasping and shrieking, was Rarity. She was being held down by Applejack and Fluttershy, while Rainbow Dash paced around in terrified circles, not knowing what to do. Pinkie Pie was beside herself, crying almost as loudly as Rarity was. Spotting us, Dashie charged over and began shouting and swearing at us, demanding to know where we had been. Before either of us could speak, Fluttershy screamed over all the noise.

“CALLUM, GET OVER HERE, QUICK!”

Rushing past Rainbow Dash, I charged over to the mare and skidded to a halt beside her, which was when I got a proper look at Rarity. With my legs giving out, I dropped to my knees, absolutely horrified by what I saw. All down the side of the unicorn’s body was a set of deep lacerations, and despite Fluttershy’s best efforts to keep pressure on them, they were still pissing blood. A small chunk of flesh was hanging loosely from her upper back, and her left hind leg bore numerous punctures from a large bite. Though her fur was normally white, the poor mare was completely doused in crimson, gasping for air through her agonised cries.

“Oh fucking hell…” I muttered.

“Pressure! Now!” Fluttershy barked.

Diving into action, I put my hands where Fluttershy’s hooves had been, and pushed down. The unicorn immediately began to struggle, sounding off even louder than she had been. Applejack kept her back legs still, while Fluttershy dug into her saddlebag to grab a trauma kit. Pressing my palms down harder on the gashes, I tried desperately to stem the bleeding, which was made infinitely harder by Rarity as she began thrashing in an involuntary attempt to get me off of her. Crying out at the top of her lungs, the mare completely lost control of herself as pain, fear, and instinct took hold.

“Rare, I’m sorry, but you’re losing blood.” I growled urgently, “I need to keep the pressure on!”

She tried her best to stay still, but the pain was too much for her; she kept writhing and squirming, with even Applejack’s strength failing to keep her still. At last, Fluttershy returned with the kit, where she quickly ordered Twilight to cut a roll of bandages into multiple pieces. Within seconds of being placed on the lacerations, they were drenched, and it dawned on me that the pony was losing far too much blood, and far too quickly.

“Twilight, do you have any freezing spells?”

Nodding, she stepped forward and awaited my command. Instructing her to chill the blood-soaked bandages, I decided that the best course of action was to constrict all the vessels across the injury through something of a flash freeze. It was cleaner and kinder than cauterisation, causing far less tissue damage and allowing the wounds to have a better chance at healing.

{If she even pulls through…} I thought bitterly.

Twilight did as instructed, rapidly freezing the bandages until they were painful to touch, and it didn’t take long for the bleeding to slow right down. Fluttershy then retrieved a syringe and planted it into Rarity’s shoulder muscle, shooting her up with what I could only assume was a sedative. This proved to be the case, as the unicorn’s struggles and cries died down to twitches and whimpers, until she at last stopped moving altogether and fell silent. I was nearly brought to tears by the harrowing ordeal, but just as I thought I was free to break apart, Fluttershy demanded further action from me, shoving the suture kit into my hands.

“Ready to return the favour?”

Gulping, I knew that I didn’t have a choice. I was either to stitch Rarity up under Fluttershy’s guidance, or risk losing her. Opening the case, I took the curved needle, but with my bloodied hands shaking as intensely as they were, I couldn’t even begin to thread the damn thing.

“Here, give it to me.” Twilight ordered, “I’ll do it.”

Taking the needle and suture thread from me with her magic, the lilac mare was quick to take my place and begin closing the gashes. Stumbling away from the scene, I tried to remain calm, wiping away as much of the blood from my hands as possible. I then went over to Rainbow Dash, who was trying to calm Pinkie Pie down.

“What happened here?”

“We were… We were just about to have breakfast.” she started, her voice trembling, “Applejack found your note, and then this freaking bear came out of nowhere. It went straight for Fluttershy, and she only got away because she could fly. Then it went into one of the tents and grabbed Applejack’s bag.”

{It smelled the damn food…} I thought.

Continuing, Dashie explained that Rarity had tried to trap the bear inside by sealing the tent with her magic, only for the animal to claw its way out of one side, and then charge off with the bag. With Applejack’s saddlebag containing the bulk of our food, the girls very stupidly went after it, chasing it down until the bear eventually turned on them.

“We tried to scare it off, but before we could do anything, it just… it just grabbed her!”

Breaking into a sob, Rainbow Dash described how the bear had mauled Rarity within an inch of her life, tossing her around like a rag doll while she screamed and begged for help. Try as the girls might, they couldn’t get the creature to focus on anyone else, not even with Applejack kicking it as hard as she could. In the end, it had been Blu who saved the pony’s life, bravely landing on the ursine’s head and digging into one of its eyes with his beak. It finally backed off after that, running off with AJ’s bag and disappearing into the woods.

“Blu’s gone after it so we know where it’s taken the bag.” Dashie explained, “We need that food!”

As though summoned by name, the parrot emerged from the woods and landed on the ground, hopping a few times as he came to a halt. I held out my arm for him and he fluttered up to my wrist, where he gave his report.

“Raark! It’s in a cave nearby! Real hurt too!”

He went on to clarify that Applejack’s bucking had broken one of its back legs, and that by the time it had reached its cave with the bag, it was limping pretty severely.

“Take me there.” I ordered.

“What?” Rainbow bleated loudly, “You’re going after it? Dude, look at what it did to Rarity!”

“You said it yourself, we need the food.” I pointed out, “Besides, after that thing I fought in Pripyat, an injured bear is hardly a step up, I can handle it.”

It was worth noting that by ‘handle it’, I meant that I could handle grabbing the saddlebag and then very promptly running away. The mutant queen in Pripyat was one thing, but bears were hardy bastards, and I was no fool to think that I could take it with Krocsbane alone. However, considering that it now had a broken leg and only one good eye, I was confident that I could retrieve the bag and then outrun the beast. Not giving anyone the chance to argue with me, I ordered Blu to lead the way and charged off into the forest, with the parrot flapping his wings just a few feet in front of me.

Soon enough, we reached the cave. Blu landed on my shoulder and clung to me as I withdrew Krocsbane and cautiously began to tiptoe inside. It was then that Blu began to quietly sing into my ear, slowly bobbing his head up and down.

“Look for the… bare necessities, the simple bare necessities. Forget about your worries and your-”

“If you don’t shut that beak of yours, right now, I’m throwing you to the bear as bait.” I cut him off, scowling at him.

The macaw gave my head a playful, apologetic peck, before keeping quiet. Listening as carefully as I could, I kept edging forward until I could hear the grunts of the bear. Peeking around the bend, I gulped upon spotting the creature. Tugging and pawing at Applejack’s bag in an attempt to get into it, the brown bear was huge. If it were to get a proper hold of me, I would be torn to pieces just as poor Rarity had been. Still, having been clawed apart before by the mutant queen and living to tell the tale, I favoured my odds; at least this thing didn’t have serrated claws and spiralling black horns.

“What’s the plan?” Blu hissed into my ear.

Thinking on the double, I decided that my joke about using the bird as bait would actually serve as the best distraction. If he could get its attention for long enough, I could grab the saddlebag and high-tail it out of there. With a sly expression, I tilted my head towards the parrot on my shoulder, and said something that would have the bird on a warpath.

“You know…” I whispered, “I think I heard the bear making jokes about you. Something about… crackers.”

At that, Blu’s eyes twitched and his feathers started to ruffle, puffing out until the bird was at least twice his normal size. He then jumped from my shoulder and shot at the bear like a bullet, latching onto the animal’s head and screeching as loudly as he could with every expletive he knew, including in other languages. Needless to say, it worked like a charm, with the bear flailing around in a state of shock and distress, throwing its head from side to side and lashing out with its paws.

Taking my chance, I darted forward and skidded over to the bag, looping an arm through one of the straps designed for me. I was just making my escape when the creature was able to catch Blu, striking him with one of its massive paws and sending the poor bird hurtling into the cave wall. It then set its working eye on me, and began to charge. Breaking into an adrenaline-fuelled sprint, I emerged from the cave and ran as fast as my legs could carry me, with the four-hundred kilogram mass of fur thundering after me.

Even with a broken leg, it was keeping up with my pace, and upon realising that I couldn’t outrun it, I spun around and slashed at it with Krocsbane. Catching it across the muzzle, the creature backed off for a moment, before beginning a second, less hasty approach. Maintaining eye contact with it, I opened my arms and stood as tall as possible, and tried to scare it off with the loudest bellow I could muster.

“NO!!!”

Though it didn’t run away, the beast did hesitate, and so I stepped towards it and bellowed for a second time, waving my arms above my head and roaring at the absolute top of my lungs.

“ROOOAAAGGHH!!!”

Though I showed the strength and ferocity of a lion, internally I was terrified, and silently begged the creature to just leave me alone, knowing that if it attacked, it could very well kill me. However, in spite of its pain, it wanted the food more, and to my horror, the bear went for me. Rushing forward, it knocked me to the ground, but before it could do anything else, something… truly horrifying happened.

Looking just beyond me, the bear opened its mouth and let off a distorted, ethereal wail, as a misty white energy suddenly gushed from its body and soared over my head. And then, to my absolute revulsion, the bear’s entire form began to change. Its fur started falling out and its skin turned grey and withered, splitting apart in some areas. It then dropped to the ground in front of me, twitching and squirming as its body began to rapidly decompose before my very eyes. Within seconds, it looked like it had been dead for weeks, and with one final rattle, the creature stopped moving. The milky light ceased to flow from its rotten carcass, and with a gulp, I twisted around to see what had done this.

Standing a few metres away from me was Twilight, and I spotted the last of the white energy as it was absorbed into her horn. She then dropped to her knees and clamped her eyes shut, gasping for air through her gritted teeth. In a state of shock, I scrambled to my feet and ran over to her.

“Twilight…” I panted, “What did you do to that thing?”

She didn’t reply, she just knelt there puffing for a moment, until I asked the question for a second time.

“What did you do to it!?”

Looking over to the rotting carcass, and then to me, the mare shook her head, blinking rapidly.

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“What?”

“I don’t know!” she repeated, “I got here just as it knocked you down, and then I… I…”

Trailing off, the unicorn shook her head again, seemingly just as bewildered as I was. Getting to her hooves, she swore that she genuinely didn’t know what had happened, as though there was a blip in her memory. All she knew was that she saw the bear knocking me over, and then she was suddenly on her knees, with a strange sensation rippling through her body. Frowning at her, I scanned her face for dishonesty, but all I saw was genuine confusion and fright; she was telling the truth. Whatever spell she had just used, it must have been so powerful that it had caused her to mentally black out.

“Are you feeling… okay?” I prompted.

“I think so.” she nodded, “In fact, I feel strangely… quite good.”

I asked her what she meant, to which she professed that it was as though her mana reserves were completely full again. In other words, whatever she had done to the bear hadn’t cost any mana, but rather, it had recharged it. Thinking about the white energy that had been siphoned out of the bear and into her horn, it dawned on me that Twilight had drained the creature of its very life essence. Not that I knew how souls truly worked yet, but considering how necrotised the steaming corpse was, it was the only thing that made sense to me in my limited understanding.

“Twilight, I think you…” I started nervously, “I think you ripped its fucking soul out.”

The mare’s eyes widened, realising that I might have been right. Swallowing, she looked at me and began to tremble.

“But I didn’t… I didn’t mean to!”

“Well I’m bloody glad you did!” I scoffed, “That thing was about to turn me into Rarity!”

Continuing to panic, Twilight started to pace around, desperately trying to understand what she had actually done, and why she couldn’t remember doing it.

“Oh shit!” I blurted out suddenly, “Blu!”

Leaving the pony where she was, I charged off back to the cave. Heading inside, I found the parrot sitting upright, thankfully awake, though heavily dazed. Gently picking him up, I asked if he was alright, to which he looked at me and blinked slowly.

“You owe me a whole sack of pistachios, you horse-loving faggot…”

“Yeah, you’re fine.” I chuckled, rolling my eyes.

Leaving the cave with him perched on my shoulder, I returned to Twilight, who was still anxiously stepping around in front of the dead bear, of which was still lightly steaming. Upon my approach, the rank stench of rotting flesh wafted into my nostrils, it was almost overpowering. Stifling a gag, I told Twilight to put on AJ’s saddlebag and quit her pacing.

“We can figure this out later.” I told her, “We need to get back to the others.”

Nodding, the unicorn did as I commanded and put the bag on. We then returned to the others, and along the way I assured Twilight that I wouldn’t say anything about what she had done.

We got back to find the girls gathered around Rarity, of whom was still unconscious. Her wounds were now coated in a generous amount of Oozima, with Fluttershy wrapping the last of them in bandages. Applejack and Rainbow Dash both ran up to me upon my return, asking if I had been successful in retrieving the saddlebag. Pointing to Twilight as she came along beside me, I didn’t need to say anything to confirm their query, and the two of them commended me for being able to get it back.

“Did you kill it?” asked Applejack, “The bear, I mean?”

Glancing at Twilight and seeing the fear in her eyes, I chose to lie, telling her that I had indeed, killed the bear. Blu knew better than to call out the deceit, and simply expressed that he had helped, distracting the animal long enough for me to deliver the killing blow.

“Poor Feathers here nearly died, bless him.” I huffed, “The bear caught him with a paw and knocked him clean out!”

“It was a-paw-ling!” he croaked, ruffling his feathers.

“And… there goes my sympathy.” I teased, rolling my eyes.

“What?” he squawked, “That was just my first pun! I’m bear-ly getting started!”

Flying over to Fluttershy before I could strangle the damn bird, Blu continued to make bear puns for the next few hours, within which we had safely carried Rarity back to our camp, and had begun repairing the damage. Rarity was placed in her tent, where Fluttershy would stay for the next few nights to monitor her. Rainbow Dash offered to swap places, moving into the small tent with me until Rarity had recovered enough to be deemed no longer in a critical condition. As for Applejack and Twilight’s tent, I got to work stitching up where the bear had torn it open. Though I was no boutique-owning seamstress, I was competent enough to do the job well, and by the time the afternoon was coming to a close, I had successfully restored the tent to an acceptable standard.

The evening was a terribly sombre one, with most of us not even feeling hungry enough to eat the food that Blu and I had so daringly gone to retrieve. Rarity woke up at some point, only to break into another bout of agonised wailing. Fluttershy gave her some painkillers, but with how intense the wounds were, there was little relief that could be applied without a hospital available to us. After getting the unicorn to drink some water, the poor thing was sedated again. Her injuries were easily worse than what the mutant queen had done to me in Pripyat; even with the Oozima, this would take weeks to heal.

In other words, we wouldn’t be going to Portugal for quite some time.

“This is my fault.” Twilight muttered to herself.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” I scolded her, “How could this possibly be your fault?”

“Because if we hadn’t left this morning, I could have stopped this from happening.”

Hanging her head, the unicorn lamented over how her eagerness to find the signal’s source had taken the two most powerful combatants away from the group, leaving the more vulnerable members of the company to fend for themselves. If it weren’t for Applejack’s raw strength and Blu’s quick thinking, Rarity would almost certainly be dead. I couldn’t help but see her point, but blaming herself wasn’t the right way to go about it.

“Twilight, there would have been absolutely no way of knowing there was a bear out here.” I insisted, “This isn’t your fault, and even if it was, what’s done is done. Rarity will get through this, so we just need to sit tight and gather ourselves, yeah?”

“Yeah…” she sighed, nodding her head, “Thanks for patching up my tent, by the way.”

At that, I raised my eyebrows.

“Damn, you must be really struggling. You just thanked me for something.”

Overhearing, the others broke into a chuckle, and Twilight reached over to give me a playful shove, ordering me to accept the damn thanks before she retracted it. Telling her that she was very welcome, I leaned back and looked up at the stars.

“You know, if we’re talking about blaming ourselves, I can’t help but feel a bit shitty as well.”

“How come?” asked Applejack.

Sighing, I reflected on yesterday’s walk with Fluttershy, and how I had said that I would happily keep our camp where it was for the next week so that I could rest. Now, my wish had been granted, and I couldn’t have felt worse for it.

“Oh Hun…” AJ sighed, “You don’t need to feel bad for that. As you just said to Twilight, none of us could’ve predicted this happening.”

“I know that.” I grumbled, “But even so, I can’t help but feel a bit guilty.”

“Well cut it out.” said Twilight, “If I’m not allowed to feel guilty, then neither are you.”

“You know, I think that just might be the most selfish way anyone’s ever said something kind.” I retorted with a smirk.

Everyone laughed at that, with Twilight rolling her eyes and laughing along with us. We all went to bed after that, and with Rainbow now beside me instead of Fluttershy, things were just a touch awkward. It was no secret that the rainbow-haired pegasus was more ‘open’ to things, as it were, and ever since I had overheard a particular conversation in Brazil, I knew that she would likely try something with me. It didn’t take long, and as she rolled over to face me, I clenched my jaw.

“Hey, you know…” she began, resting a hoof on my chest, “This is probably one of the few times we’ll be in a tent together like this. Once Rarity’s feeling better, you’ll go back to snoozing with that little bundle of innocence.”

{Oh, if only you knew…} I remarked in thought.

“And, your point is?” I stated blankly, not at all impressed.

“Well, I was just thinking…” she trailed off sheepishly.

Cutting her off, I rolled onto my side to face her properly. Clearing my throat, I spelled things out for her in bold, ensuring she got the message.

“Look, let me make this perfectly clear to you. Firstly, as I said yesterday, I’m not into you girls, alright? Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m a human, and the only thing that interests me is other humans. Secondly, even if I was so inclined as to fancy you ponies, the others are just a few metres away from us in their tents, with Rarity still in critical condition! Do you honestly think it would be appropriate to get it on, considering the state she’s in, huh?”

Gulping, Dashie looked away, realising that not only was she being entirely too forward with me, but she was also being insensitive, and terribly so at that. Exhaling through her nose, she frowned, now full of anger; not anger at me, it was worth mentioning, but towards herself. Being the prideful pony she was, she couldn’t stand the fact that she had just embarrassed herself like this.

“Sorry.” she grunted, now blushing like a beetroot.

“It’s fine.” I assured her, “Just… think before you speak, yeah?”

Nodding, she turned away from me, where she quite literally sulked herself to sleep. Rolling my eyes, I rolled onto my left side so that our backs were facing each other. With the atmosphere now being horrendously uncomfortable, I struggled to drift off, and lay there with countless thoughts whizzing around my head, including a rather shameful question.

What if I had said yes?

For what it was worth, I was flattered that Dashie considered me bed-worthy, and I admittedly felt quite a boost to my ego. However, one thing I hadn’t mentioned to the pegasus, or any of the girls for that matter, was that I was still a virgin. From the less-than-ideal hand of cards I had been given in my old life, meeting a girl was practically out of the question, with my friend Annabel being the closest thing I might have had to a shot at oiling my arrow, as it were. A part of the reason I had said no, I supposed, was also because I was something of a hopeless romantic. I wanted my first partner to be my last, and so on top of not being attracted to the ponies, there was also the entirely separate element of not wanting to give myself to someone that I didn’t love. This wasn’t to say that I didn’t yearn for the experience, but being the person I was, I simply yearned for love more.

Huffing, I tried to cast the thoughts aside, and over the space of a few minutes, I was thankfully able to do so. The exhaustion from today then caught up to me, and just as Rainbow Dash began to snore, I drifted away into the land of nod.

I woke to find Rainbow already gone, and as I sat upright, I found the air to be colder than ever before. Almost immediately I was shivering, and it took every ounce of willpower to extract myself from my sleeping bag and clamber outside.

“Whoa…” I murmured, sending a swirling cone of steam from my lips.

It had snowed, and heavily. As though a silent avalanche had occurred overnight, the world had been buried in a blanket of icy cotton. With Rainbow Dash already up, I had expected to find her by the campfire, but upon stepping out, I found not a soul. Peeking into Rarity’s tent, I hoped to see Rainbow in there, perhaps checking on her ailing friend. To my great concern, I found the tent to be empty. Rushing to Twilight’s tent, I found that to be empty as well.

The entire company had disappeared.

I was about to call out for them, when I heard a noise from behind me. Whipping around, I was met by a cloud of inky black smoke. It edged towards me, and with a gulp, I clenched my fists.

“Who are you?”

There was no reply, but the smoke stopped its advance. Now shaking more from fright than the cold, I asked what this thing had done with my friends, to which it began to retreat. Floating away, I could only guess that it wanted to lead me somewhere. Taking off after it, I followed the smoke until I came upon the dead bear from yesterday. It was buried in the snow, but the mound was enough to tell me it was there. Following the shadowy form into the cave, I was taken deep inside, until it finally stopped in the middle. By now, I was as scared as I was confused, but without any understanding of what was going on, I had no choice but to let this thing guide me.

“Why are we here?” I asked, before growing impatient, “Speak, damn you!”

“You asked to see your friend…”

The voice was more unsettling than anything else I had experienced thus far. It was rippled, unnatural, and in a word, demonic. Hearing it forced a shudder from me, and the skin on my face and neck began to tingle, as though it had just been stroked with a set of chewed fingernails. The smoke then began to dissipate, leaving behind an object on the ground. It was too dark to see properly, and so I cautiously stepped forward to inspect it. Resting a hand on top, the object was soft and silky, and felt like hair. With a gulp, I picked it up by the sides, where it felt velvety to the touch. My eyes then adjusted to the dark, and I realised exactly what I was holding.

It was Twilight Sparkle’s severed head.

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Comments

[Monk With No Name]

It was Twilight Sparkle’s severed head.

Well let’s not get ahead of ourselves here…

So I went and reread the chapter again this time trying to remember the differences, am I mistaken or in the OG did Fluttershy not take a leading role in Rarity’s triage? (I feel like I remember noticing that but it’s been a few days). Comparing the this to the OG it’s abundantly clear that your dialogue, narration, and pacing have improved tremendously over the years.

Then of course my favorite reference for this chapter:

I opened my arms and stood as tall as possible, and tried to scare it off with the loudest bellow I could muster.

“NO!!!”

[Mister Horncastle]

11919477

[Monk With No Name]

11919485
Thank you, thank you I’ll be here all week.

I’ve also edited to include my digested thoughts on the comparison of the OG vs Remaster.