Looking back... · 2:24am May 3rd
Maybe there were signs about being trans I should have paid attention to.
What I mean is that, a big part of my transgender experience has been revisiting attitudes and general thoughts, passing them through the "trans lens", and realizing a lot of it already spelt "this bjtch be trans". And of course, or an aspiring writer, that involves her work. So, let's give it a quick check some (not all for simplicity's sake).
The Doom Patrol: main character get their bodies changed against their will and put in roles they're not ready for nor did they ask for it, but slowly work towards regaining and redefining their identities around their new situation. Horror at being in a strange body.
Mare-Do-Well Strikes!: main character's identity is hidden from the reader specifically because her own sense of identity is blurred after a past she's not proud of, nor interested in continuing. Her new hidden identity is both a relief from the past one and an opportunity to start anew. (BTW, Mare-do-Well's identity was Trixie).
The Conversion Bureau: Judgement Day: oh, you mean the universe that's all about bodies and minds being changed, down to their self identity? Geez, I wonder how a trans reading would apply to it.
Actually, I'm Dead and I, Monster: ah, the big one. My personal large scale, collaborative, updated semi-regularly, featured on the front page big achievement...
That's specifically about the theme of loss of identity, being trapped in a wrong body, having to re-examine oneself on different ways and requestion one's identity, being forced to start almost from scratch and under the fear of loosing it all, or that whatever identity one had before was nothing but a performative expectation with little reality underneath.
Bonus points for three out of four featuring key scenes with mirrors.
So, yeah. Looking back, a lot of stuff changes meaning.
I really feel that, looking back at my past actions and events it seems pretty obvious. I've wondered sometimes just how early in my life I might've figured it out if I was educated even a little about LGBT people.
5779257
Same here. I live in a fairly conservative country, catholic family and went to an all-boys school full of enforced gender norms and toxic masculinity. I friend who came out years before me even says it normal I came out at my early 30's with how 'stacked' things were against it.
Either way, I can understand why older queer people say it's never too late. Just coming out at all felt like getting a giant weight off my entire body.
5779343
Yeah I grew up in a town in america that was probably 80% military families and other such white conservatives, it's no wonder at all why the first time I even heard the word trans was well into my 20's.
Definitely never too late, I've only been out and on hormones a bit over a year and it's so incredible what a night and day difference it makes. Even despite all the awful current events I've literally never been happier in my whole life.
5779356
That's the spirit. I'm still doing the moves in order to start the medical transition, and still not fully out socially, but each step definitely helps.
And thanks for raising my hopes for hormones. About two years ago I read this twitter thread describing the effects of HRT after 30's, and it also lifted a lot of doubts away because I was honestly sure that past 21 it was just not going to do much.
5779365
I'm no expert but if you have any questions or are just curious about my experience with hormones or my definitely still ongoing transition I'd of course be happy to share.
Either way I'm glad I could help, if only a little, you deserve to be happy too.
5779377
I'll keep it in mind. And thank you so much for the support.