The Bridge Chapter 20: .... Well phooey, I'm stuck. Ha'lp? · 5:46am Feb 24th, 2015
The Bridge is over all, a PG rated adventure crossover story that at worst will dabble into PG-13 material. It can be mature and serious, but not shy away from occasional moments of hilarity. This is to honor both of the core series in terms of maturity, MLP:FiM being a family friendly franchise; and while Godzilla can be very dark at times, it still is approachable by a younger audience even if its intended for an older one.
However, just like I will be taking a chapter every now and then to goof off and have some fun, there will be others that I'll be trying to play some drama and darker tones straight. Chapter 20 is one such chapter. I can't profess to writing anything grimdark or incredibly somber. Everyone's definition of what's mature or dark is different. I may see something as very serious when someone else sees it only mildly so. Regardless though, I have outlined and begun writing the chapter with the intention of playing it serious.
All except for one instance....
And that instance, has me a bit divided. While I think is a bit funny, may come off as somewhat jarring compared to more serious remainder of the chapter. Mood whiplash can be good and it can be bad (I'm looking at you Bambi!). While I can't give away any details, its more or less a short comedic scene caused by a character stumbling into a serious situation and momentarily throwing it off balance before its corrected. The comedy mostly seeming to come from the unpredictability of the sequence and how the characters treating the situation seriously react while re-establishing mood. On one hand, it is a funny idea and gave me a small chuckle. On the other hand when reading it along with the rest of the chapter, it does stick out quite a lot.
I know I'm sadly not giving you guys and gals much to go on, but any advice you could give for the information you got along with your personal viewpoints would be appreciated.
Yikes, happens to us all on here
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Besides It's impossible to please everyone, so just trust your instincts
2825876
But that's so hard when my own instincts are stuck right in the middle. I got two conflicting thoughts of
"Oh this could be fun!"
and
"This messes up the mood. Don't do it."
2825885
I know that feel bro, it's one of the many curses artists must face.
While one should aim for overall story cohesiveness, don't dismiss abnormal ideas on that basis alone. As in all things, challenging the status quo can yield surprising results.
So don't stress about it too much. The answer will come to you sooner than you think.
I'd say you should not put the "Funny moment" in chapter 20 because it might contradict the mood of the chapter. Lets save the funny ideas for a different chapter okey de.
2825885 Just go with your gut. This ALWAYS happens to me. If you want it to be fun, that's fine, if you want it to stay the way it is, go for it. Which ever one sounds the best to you, use it. No one is holding you back, except yourself.
If you wish, you can cut the scene, thus making the chapter serious, then make an altered/director cut scene either in the notes or as a separate chapter/companion story. Heck you could name the companion story "Deleted Outtakes from the Bridge"
When will Chapter 20 come?
If you think that the funny scene or whatever it is, is going to stick out that much, maybe you should hold off on putting it in. I mean, if most of the chapter is going to be serious/somber, than anything comical might ruin the mood.
You could always save the funny moment for a later chapter, like a deleted scene, or a mini-chapter.
That's just my opinion, of course. This is and will forever be your story, so the ball's in your court on what you do with it. Whatever you decide, I'm sure we will enjoy it, regardless.
Good luck.
Depends on the the type of character that stumbles on said scene (say for example Pinkie: Mood whiplash is part of her shtick. If someone like Celestia or Twilight or even Godzilla Jr it wouldn't work. If it's someone like Destoryah, then she could work for the scenes comedy). Comedic or Comically serious characters might be the way to fix the scene.
Just my two cent.
Well, since there's no hard right answer to this, and going with you're own gut clearly isn't working otherwise you wouldn't resort to asking us; I say put in whatever potentially comedic thing you're thinking of putting in. I'll tell you why I say this:
From my own point of view I've often felt a lighthearted story gets ruined by too much delving into dark tones or themes that didn't really belong. But I've never encountered a dark story that I felt got ruined by a bit of levity and well timed comedy.
This, of course, is just my own opinion and taste speaking, so your results may vary with the wider audience of the internet, but you asked for my two bits; two bits given.
I trust your judgement. However, it wouldn't be of much help to say only that. I guess the best advice I can give you is to ask yourself the following questions about the scene: Does this scene serve the story? Am I keeping this scene in purely because I like it, or am I keeping it in because the scene helps the story move along and just so happens to be funny?
Come to think of it, I remember Quentin Tarantino talking about this very topic, as it applies to movies (You only need to watch the first minute and a half).
Id say a little mood whiplash never killed anybody.
Well it depends on how long the joke is going to take. A little pun can thrown in as long as it can quickly forgotten by the characters and lead right back into the matter at hand, as long as it is in a dull part of a conversation and it's close to the closing line. It can also be thrown in the end as a joke plot transition. But if it's not a cracked joke, you can always throw in a humorous scene as long as it progresses the plot, sort of like a musical number. Remember in final wars where Godzilla and King Caesar are playing soccer with Anguirus? Like that. Or again it could be put in at the end like when big G takes flight in Godzilla vs Hedorah. You can throw in a joke anywhere as long as it's timely, but also it doesn't need to be there to be family friendly. Those types of stories can be serious and still interest kids without humor. *Cough cough* For Whom the Sweetie Belle Tolls *cough cough*
Look as long as the joke doesn't last too long or really break up the flow go for it. A little comedy is always good in my opinion; after all this isn't a dark or grimdark story.
Do you have any editors or prereaders you can run a more detailed or complete account of the scene by? Might be helpful to get another pair of eyes on the matter.
2826382 did...did u just reference MY story?! holy shit! i really hope u did because that would be awesome!
edit: nevermind...i forgot about that episode as i never actually watched it
Lemme guess...Mane-iac? Does she terrorize the monsters a bit?
2826601 it's a good episode, you should give it a look. I'll give your version a glance too, but no guarantees I'll finish it. My urge to write makes reading next to impossible.
2826660
nope, it's a different character that leads to the brief humor moment
PLay it sav. Keep the atmosphere of the chapter and make a joke if you are completely sure it will not clash to much.
Without knowing more, I can only say go for what you think feels best. Or, if you are right on the edge, have someone you trust pre-read the chapter and then get their opinion. Faith-Wolff, for instance, could give a better answer about the fit of the joke then I could, simply becouse she would (most likely) have already read the chapter inorder to produce the art work.
do it, oh pleas do it. A Dark chapter needs at least one funny moment, and it can always lead to an escalation. so yea, go with it ^^.
Well...a dark chapter does have its moments. A comedic thing to happen will most likely help improve it. I for one think adding comedy in a dark chapter would help the reader feel better when reading. For instance, Fallout: Equestria has plenty dark moments in its story. Friends being killed, disturbing recordings of long dead ponies, and gory images. It makes up for this however, by making funny wits ever now and then. Like the character in the situation would curse something hilarious under their breathe. Of course I'm not gonna repeat those words though because...well...their kind of descriptive. What I'm getting at is its good to add some lighter things into a dark chapter. I say go for it!
One more thing, if you feel the situation is to much then try making it a different way.
You could play it off as a dark comedic moment on that part to tone down the mood while trying to keep the mood in take. There by you could slowly bring back to the lighter mood of the situation.
Sounds like a great idea Tarb, send it on through. Some scenes you just never know how they're gonna play out until you get to the end product.
Honestly it depends on just how humorous the scene is. Too much, and it'll derail the moment. Too little and people with just ignore it, essentially making the joke completely redundant. Depends if you're a competent enough writer to hit that sweet spot
My personal opinion is that if you're going with a serious scene, keep it serious. Play it safe, there ain't no place for humor in an integral moment of the story. But that's just my view on the matter