More erratic than advertised... · 1:05pm Jun 26th, 2016
Yes, I'm still alive. Yes, I'm still a mess. In the words of the movie Starship Troopers, "Would you like to know more?" (It's okay if the answer is no.)
Upon reflection, though, I've realized that I don't really know if there's too much more that I should go into. Y'all know I'm a flake, but I don't know how many folks are actually interested in the details of said flakiness. My decades-long battle with depression has been pretty severe for the last few years, and I've had a bit of a spike in the graph these last several weeks.
But does anybody really want me to talk about all of the different things I've lost interest in (more so than usual, in some cases)? Or the fact that the loss of interest somehow doesn't apply to a couple of games that I've been playing damn near obsessively? Or what it's like to be relatively neutral in mood only to be hit from out of nowhere with a massive wave of crushed-by-the-weight-of-the-world, in-the-soul weariness? Well, hell -- looks like I talked about that stuff anyway.
I do want to try to make myself come back here more often, though. I just need to stop letting myself get hung up on things like, "Hey, maybe you'd better write another blog entry giving a half-assed apology for being out of touch. And you should have that done before you log back into the site."
Anyway, it's 7:00 AM local as I write this, and I've been up all night again. Need to get some sleep here... so once again, I'll be holding off on answering any PMs or responding to commments. I plan to be back this afternoon, this evening at the latest, rather than vanishing again for dozens of Celestia/Luna cycles.
If anybody feels like sharing Facebook info with me, shoot me a PM. I don't really post pony over there, but some people think I'm pretty entertaining anyway. And if you're really feeling kind, wishing me a happy birthday would be welcome. 
Welcome back.
Pffff, it doesn't take any kindness to wish someone happy birthday. Now tracking someone down, embedding oneself into a cake and then having oneself delivered to said person to give them an explosive, frosting-filled birthday greet? That's kindness. Or madness. Actually thinking about it, that's probably madness.
Basically what I'm saying is welcome back and HAPPY BIRTHDAY
You were missed by a lot of people. That's all anyone needs to know.
Happy birthday Elric
As for the contents of your blog, I do advise talking, because talking is good for you. In any event, it will be nice to see you active on site again
Happy birthday, man. Hope things get better for you soon.
Happy birthday, if today's the right day, and I do hope that you can be around a bit more. You're always a source of well thought out commentary. The depression is a bitch, always is, but having other folks around to listen usually helps.
Happy birthday. Don't let the pressure of self-imposed obligations weigh you down anymore than they need to. We're here for you as much as you want us to be.
*Hugs*
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Happy birthday!
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--Sweetie Belle
Happy birthday.
And I hope you'll pull through.
Happy birthday!
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Almost emailed you a few times in there. For one thing, saw a Cheerilee picture you might like. The longer it gets since I've talked with someone, the harder it is for me to re-initiate contact, though. No one ever said I wasn't flaky too...
As far as pms, mark all as read is always an option.
--arcum42
And more than a little corny...
...
...
...
I'm not apologizing.
I'm so glad you're back, Elric, it's been lonely without you!
Welcome back! And Happy Birthday!
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Oh, and I just thought I'd point you to this interview:
The First Time With... Jeff Lynne
Admittedly, it's the type of thing that's a few minutes of interview, then a song, then another few minutes of interview, but I love all the music anyways. It's not all ELO, either. Tom Petty's Free Falling, and Free As a Bird, for example...
--arcum42
Happy birthday, Mr. President...
First of all...
Happy Birthday!!
And second of all, as someone who's spent a decades long fight with anxiety I know what you're going through. My advice, talk, rant, whatever you need to get it off your chest, it does help. Post here, talk with your RL family/friends, perhaps seek professional help (if you're not already), and most importantly don't give up. Sure there are gonna be day when you'd rather just pull the covers over your head and pretend the world doesn't exist and that's fine. It won't be easy, and there's no magic cure, but we're here for you. The people that care for you are here for you. Just take it one step at a time.
I left Facebook a while ago. But Happy Birthday and many more. Oddly enough, 'tis my better half's birthday today.
And moreover, be here for fun, man. I've kind of fell off the pony wagon (stagecoach?) a bit myself. Change is the one constant of life. Well, besides G, c, e, pi, um, 1, 2, 3... OK, change is a constant of life.
4049603
Very few people are able to Pinkie Pie as well as that.
4049622
-- Navin R. Johnson
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Yeah, I try to get things out for the most part. I just don't want to overdo it here because there are so many people who seem to only do it for attention, y'know?
4049682
Thanks. Just had a boost in the dosage of one of my medications, so we'll see if that makes a difference.
4049687
Yesterday, June 26, was indeed the day in question, and now I'm mumble years old. And thank you for the compliment; it's good to feel appreciated. (More so when part of your brain is telling you otherwise.)
4049701
You're a good person to have around. I don't care what anyone else says about you.
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I smelled minty once... and then she got a restraining order.
4049754
Thanks. I haven't given up yet. (Thought about it more than once in my life, but I'm still here.)
4049764
Just email me any damn time you feel like, you goof!
4050018
"I'm super cereal about this." -- South Park's version of Al Gore
4050075
Thank you. But y'know, there are plenty of great folks around here. Just check out all these other comments...
4050446
Oh, if only I could celebrate something with Pinkie...
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Bookmarked so I can give it a listen later. This'll probably be good for late-night entertainment when there's nothing on TV for suitable background noise. And those non-ELO choices don't surprise me, given that he did production work on both.
4050644
Pretty sure there's supposed to be a sexy dance of some sort that goes along with this. Isn't there?
4050875
I'm proud to say that unlike periods in the past when I did absolutely nothing, this time around I've been doing the professional help thing for a little while.
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My sister's birthday is on the 29th. She's exactly three years and three days younger than me. And I don't know how your SO feels about a birthday in late June, but I feel like it gave me certain advantages when I was a kid. For one thing, I got presents at a nice six-month interval rather than clustered together. Also, I never, ever had to be in school on my birthday.
4052758
If only we all could! And it does sooth the soul just to close our eyes and imagine it!
4052758 I had to look that up. That's the one where Steve Martin is born as a poor black child, isn't it? I have his autobiography, Born Standing Up, and it is brilliant. He shows some of the elaborate calculations behind his comedy act, and gives some of his background. Like most professional comedians, he's a driven guy, and mostly driven by unpleasant stuff, but there's a lot of good stuff about the theory of comedy.
4052758
Yeah, there was good reason on all of them. He talked a little about both. The interview says "28 days left to listen" by it, btw. Not sure what happens after that.
I'll try to send more email. Just keep in mind that that tends to be one of my issues...
--arcum42
4052758 Yes, I know that, I've been chatting with other people while you were gone, but I like to chat with you.
4052758 Who says I didn't do one?
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I included a link in the character name under the quote, but maybe I didn't make it obvious enough. And yes, the movie in question is The Jerk, where his character is raised by a black family but never realized he was adopted. "You mean I'm gonna stay this color?"
It doesn't surprise me a bit to know that for all of his seeming randomness back in his "Wild and Crazy Guy" days that everything was carefully considered, or that he actually knows a lot about the theory and mechanics of good comedy.
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I noticed that deadline, and so I'm hoping I can live up to my promise to myself to listen to it tonight.
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You're very kind.
4052758
I wish I still had my full rant, but if it helps, here's a shortened version of it.
4052959 You're welcome.
Happy belated birthday.
4052758
Now that's what I call family planning. Makes birthdays easier to keep track of.
Not so much in her case. She likes to get out and about on her birthday, but doesn't like the heat of even early summer. She'd really love a June birthday, I think, if June were a lot more January-ey.
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Thanks.
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More a matter of accidental timing than anything else. If they had really been on top of things, my brother's birthday would be June 23 instead of October 23.