I want to fire my muse · 6:36am Jun 19th, 2020
I have come to the conclusion that my muse, if it were a person and not an arbitrary literary device giving some measure of personification to the concept of inspiration, would be that obnoxious co-worker who constantly stirs up trouble in the office, wastes time, pranks incessantly, and is generally a lazy schmuck, yet who can't be fired, no matter how much the boss wants to, because he's literally essential to the company functioning.
And the worst part is, that conceited @#$% would know it too, and that would make him even more insufferable.
I'm just sitting here like, "Hey, I want to write a scene for A 14th Century Friar. I have it reasonably-well planned out in my head and I really want to work on it. Can we do that?"
And my muse is all, *mocking laughter* "Oh, I'm afraid nothing's coming to me."
"Okay, fine. How about, uh, the next chapter of The New Blood. That one's pretty straightforward and I've had the rest of the chapter in mind for literally over a year. Why not just finish what we already know happens next?"
"Nuh uh. Not feeling it."
*Grimace* "Okay, how about finishing the next chapter of Homecoming? I've had that one in mind since before I even had the idea for 14th Century Friar."
"Sorry, my man. Nothing seems to be coming to me."
*Fuming incoherently* "Then what, pray tell, is coming to you?!"
"Well, see, I've got this idea for a story that you have no time to write, no inclination to write, no real dialogue or concept for, and in fact is only moderately amusing to you, which a writer of a different style might be able to do justice to but which isn't exactly in your wheelhouse."
*Hard blink* ".... why?"
"Because doesn't the idea of Gandalf, Uncle Iroh, and Celestia sitting down to drink tea and swapping stories about the shenanigans they got up to as mentor/parental figures strike you as fun?"
"... I... I don't... you... NO, I mean, yes, it does sound fun, sort of, BUT NOT MORE THAN THE ACTUAL STORIES I'VE SUNK YEARS OF HEART AND SOUL INTO!!! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK OF THAT?!?!"
"I dunno, 'cause messing with you is fun."
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
So, yeah. If anyone needs me I'll be metaphorically beating the symbolic snot out of my imaginary muse in a manner that would probably make for a fun CalebCity-style video if I had his editing chops, stage presence, and the ability to make it look like I was punching another me.
In summary, Writer's Block is a @#$%, and I hope to at least throw something into A 14th Century Supplement soon to keep the ravenous dogs of the Angry Mob fed while I sort my crap out.
As is the muse. At least yours is still working- mine's kind of given up the ghost and needs more prodding to actually do anything.
Gandalf, Uncle Iroh, and Celestia sitting down to have tea does sound fun. Dumbledore could join as well, though you'd have to call his spirit.
Muses are capricious beasts.
That's a real bummer man. Music always helps me out, try this one.
I think Jacques would quite enjoy it, though it's not something he could ever sing himself.
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Funnily enough, by this point Gandalf, Iroh and Dumbledore are all spirits, one way or another.
Not just fun, I can think of a setting where that probably happened. Two, actually, though the second one might be a bit awkward for Celestia.
But yeah, I definitely feel the pain of a fickle muse. I find smiling, nodding, and writing the idea down placates it enough for it to actually consider projects you're currently working on, but I can't guarantee yours will fall for that sort of thing.
Muses can be a real bitch, and for that I’m sorry, but I gotta admit, she might be onto something here
Well, now you’ve done it.
Now, all I have is this scene playing in my head of Antiquarian, after discovering that his muse has been hoarding scripts for dozens of chapters, chasing him around the returns cart in the library like a Hank Hill who has to abide by an E rating.
“Stand still, traitor, I’ll blister your heinie!”
while I can't say I've been there I do recommend YouTube for inspiration. and just reading other stuff. ya never know when inspiration might hit.
Discord! Stop messing with Antiquarian.
We love you sir
Muses are a nefarious and treacherous breed.
You think that they're on you side, then suddenly they leave you high and dry for a good idea.