Meet The Mares: Starbeam Twinkle · 1:34am Dec 10th, 2021
There’s only so much that can go into a story, especially one with as many characters as 16 has. So I’m opening the floor to asking these characters questions. Post your reply with any questions you have and Starbeam Twinkle will be happy to answer tolerate answering them (I’ll be editing this blog to add those questions). The remaining cast members will have their interviews posted when their chapters are done.
Interview subject #14: Starbeam Twinkle
Source: https://derpibooru.org/images/2020559
Cutie mark?
Source: Bahamuttone
Thanks to Feathermay, I discovered that pony names don’t translate to English quite as well as everyone originally thought. What’s the most direct translation of your name?
She Who Twinkles Under The Light Of The Stars.
You were on the very first busload of ponies brought to the consulate the day the portal opened. Is that correct?
That’s incorrect. I came several months later, under protest. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much choice in the matter.
Relationship status?
What does that have to do with anything? I have a short list of ponies I’m capable of tolerating for short intervals. It’s completely inconceivable that I could find somepony to love. Life is too short to waste chasing some pie in the sky deluded fantasy of a perfect relationship. To think, we could’ve spent the last minute doing something productive instead of talking about my intentionally nonexistent social life. Choose your questions wiser.
Favorite part of living on Earth?
It’s a world without Discord. Regardless of my other opinions on this dirtball of a planet, it has that going for it.
What’s your favorite song? Specifically, your favorite song that our audience on Earth might know?
I don’t really have a favorite song, as I try not to listen to human music except when I have to. But I definitely have a least favorite. I don’t know who the singer is, but whenever I hear Do You Really Want To Hurt Me the answer is always ‘yes’. Not only is it an awful song, but the singer is literally asking for it.
Favorite TV show?
The nightly news. It doesn’t matter what channel, it’s all exceedingly entertaining. What passes for ‘news’ is laughable at best, and outright propaganda at worst. In Equestria, the news is presented as ‘this is what happened’. On Earth, the various news outlets spin things to push an agenda. Conservative-biased news demonizes the Left. Liberal-biased news ostracizes the Right. It’s very entertaining, but not particularly informative.
I don’t need someone else to tell me what to think. Present me with the facts, and I’ll make my own decisions on it. Your species would benefit tremendously by following this example, instead of politicizing absolutely everything. There are things humans have ‘sides’ on that completely baffle me. Some things should just universally be taken for granted, but no, if ‘the other side’ is in favor of something, that means I’ve got to be against it, and if they’re against it, well it’s all right by me.
Humans are stupid. I’d say ‘forgive me for saying this’ but I really don’t care what you think.
Favorite movie?
Like music, I try not to engage much with human culture except when necessary. That said, I’m quite fond of slapstick comedy. The Three Stooges, post-Airplane! Leslie Nielsen movies, the National Lampoon’s Vacation series.
Favorite color?
Red.
What do you miss about Equestria?
I’m not sure anymore. At one point I would’ve rattled off a list of things, but not so much these days. Maybe Earth is growing on me, or maybe I’m mellowing, but Equestria doesn’t hold the appeal it once did. If I never go back again, I don’t think it would bother me all that much.
I was under the impression you can’t go back?
That’s a minor detail.
Do you have a car?
Source: AlwaysDressesInStyle
Yes, a 1976 Chevrolet Nova, but I prefer to drive the duchess’ Lincoln Navigator. It’s a nice, big SUV and everybody gets out of my way when I’m driving it. Especially when I drive it on the sidewalks. I don’t understand why more people don’t do that. The sidewalks are substantially less congested than the roads.
Reese: ...I'm guessing that another part of the reason you prefer to drive it, rather than getting your own, is that hers has little flags on the hood that make the police just give you nasty looks instead of arresting you?
It turns out that consuls (including consul generals) have extremely limited diplomatic immunity. Contrary to popular belief, we can be pulled over. It’s just more paperwork for the police, so they tend not to. Also, for some strange reason, Ploomette usually insists on Searchlight driving instead of me.
Emil: What was the favorite food/drink that you discovered on human-Earth?
The water at the Catholic church. It has a nice spicy kick to it.
Of note, the Mareiott is located less than twenty miles from the Ringwood Mines Superfund site which may have contaminated the local water supply. She may also be kidding – it’s hard to tell.
Holy water isn’t supposed to burn going down. It’s also not normally intended for consumption. Do you attend a human church?
Yes, for Confession, mostly. That was another of Ploomette’s suggestions, to get things off my chest. I think she intended for me to see a therapist, but this is cheaper. Plus, I like getting forgiven for the things I’ve done. All in all, I find your religions as fascinating as your politics. So many religions have been split over such minor interpretations, and they all claim to be the only true path. So many faiths are so quick to denounce or wage war on the others. Spread a message of love and tolerance, but hate anyone who disagrees. Humans are a truly contradictory species.
Snowliasion: As always, who is your favorite colleague, oh dear like-minded magus of my heart whom I share an enemy with?
You’re also an enemy of Discord? I was starting to think I was the only one. Perhaps, we should form an alliance, you and I?
I don’t really have a favorite, per se. There are those ponies I tolerate, and those that I don’t. If I were to choose the one I tolerate the most, it would be either Flitterheart, who I can sense has also gone through something highly traumatic and I feel her pain, or Diamond Rose, who, like me, is ostracized by her peers.
Escrime: In the likely event you end up a pigeon roost in the Canterlot Palace gardens, what's your preferred pose?
Something comfortable. I had planned to lay down in a nice, relaxing pose. Have you seen Queen Chrysalis? Can you imagine spending eternity snarling and lunging?
Bahamuttone: Have you ever heard John de Lancie talking?
I have not. Starbeam pulls up YouTube on her cell phone and freezes as the video starts playing. I now wish I had not.
Roxylalolcat: What's your most memorable moment (good, bad, or just plain weird) with a guest?
There are no ‘good’ moments when one works customer service. The worst moment is having to clean up behind folks. I guess the weirdest thing I’ve encountered was when we had a guest stay with us while she was attending the North American International Toy Fair in New York City. I think she really liked ponies, because she wouldn’t let me out of her sight the whole time she stayed here. The show’s only open to representatives of the trade, and the press (which she is, but I’m not), so I thought for sure I could just drop her off and have a day in the city to myself, but no such luck. I don’t know what she said to get me in, but we spent the day looking at toys.
Some of my coworkers collect various toys. Various companies were passing out free samples and trade show exclusives. I may have accommodated them and brought things back.
Uncle Mike: Oh, Starbeam, what made you think that we wouldn't be at least as bucked up as your Equestrian compatriots?
Well, so far you don’t seem to have any beings like Discord, so that’s one point in Earth’s favor. Unless that John de Lancie guy I just learned about can create chaos by snapping his fingers? Starbeam curls into the fetal position. Please tell me he can’t do that.
As for humans versus ponies, I find humans to be quarrelsome. You might think this is a bad thing, but at least you have opposing viewpoints instead of just following the herd mindlessly like most ponies. Conflicting opinions lead to discussions. Of course, most of the discussion I’ve seen on Fox News mostly boils down to calling each other names, but it’s entertaining if nothing else.
Emil: Given her taste in movies, she'd probably like a lot of the Jackie Chan movies if she could get them subtitled. He intentionally has a lot of visual comedic gags. And she'd probably enjoy watching people get hit in the face.
Very much so. I'm just gonna jot this down. 'Jackie Chan'...
Emil: At least from what we've seen so far, the crime rate of Equestrians on Earth seems to be quite low. Here's hoping that there won't be the headline "Starbeam Twinkle nukes Newark, at least 10,000 dead or missing" or something similar.
I was going to refute that. I want to refute that. But I abhor lying and if Discord randomly showed up in Newark, that's entirely possible. And it shouldn't be. That's not the kind of mare I am, nor the kind of mare I want to be. I want to make the world a better place, but killing lots of people isn't the way to do it. That’s not what I want my legacy to be.
Spamotron: One of your justifications is that Discord has lost his magic before and nothing bad happened. But those occasions lasted a couple of days tops. When he was stone he was conscious and presumably his magic still passively interacted with the rest of the world. I would assume something as massive as a planetary magical field has a certain amount of inertia to it and it would take time for any real changes to be noticed. If signs of damage do start appearing are you prepared to take responsibility and dedicate the rest of your life to mitigating that damage, up to and including helping to figure out how to give Discord his power back if necessary?
I requested a higher caliber of question than asking about my relationship status, and you’ve delivered. You raise a good point about long term effects not being tested. Does Harmony need Chaos in order to exist? All the magical evidence says ‘no’. If one goes back and looks at Discord’s actions prior to his supposed reformation, his idea of chaos isn’t truly random. It’s annoying at best, and outright malicious at worst. If something is truly random, there’s an equal opportunity for something good to happen as there is for something bad to happen. Yet that never happened when Discord broke loose.
Further, Discord has no presence here on Earth, and Earth isn’t suffering any ill effects from his absence. Conversely, I’ll ask you what would happen if Discord rid Equestria of Harmony entirely?
If I succeed, and I turn out to be very, very wrong, I’m now the leading expert on chaos magic. I’ll take it upon myself to spread chaos throughout the land. If that doesn’t work, and there’s no other option… I believe humans have an expression about eating crow. I’m not sure if I’m using this correctly, but I would eat crow and concede that he was right all along. If that means giving him his power back, I would do everything in my power to facilitate that, albeit reluctantly. There’s ‘breaking a few eggs to make an omelet’, and there’s ‘global extinction event’. Contrary to what the press has reported, I’m not a complete monster. I want what’s best for the world.
If he truly cares about the well-being of everypony else, he’ll agree to my terms: Equestria did fine while he was a statue, and he wants those powers back he’ll agree to be petrified once again. I’ll be right there beside him, forever frozen in stone until he breaks free again. Then I’ll be there to stop him. I’m willing to make that sacrifice for Equestria – I already sacrificed my future for the good of everypony else, and I’d do it again.
Reese: You stated that Discord’s randomness didn’t include anything good. Not even with Wheels?
That was more ‘random’ than good, but I will certainly admit he was in the right place at the right time to save my flank.
Dan: Do ponies have an analogous proverb to the human saying "Before embarking on a journey of vengeance, first dig two graves?"
“Revenge is a never-ending series of escalations.” The basic gist of it is if somepony does something to me, I’ll do it back to them even worse, then they’ll feel the need to be even worse to me back… and it keeps going until there’s nopony left to continue it.
Reese: Regarding religions, have you looked into Hellenism at all? As I understand it, the Roman version was both quite open to syncretism and tied up with a view of bringing order to the world, though I admit I have not studied it in much detail myself.
I haven’t had the chance to delve into Earth’s religions in as much detail as I’d like. There are always demands on my time, but I will add that to the list of things to look into.
penguincascadia: What do you think about the concept of chaos in human science?
Chaos theory? Without order, there is chaos. Chaos is a natural thing. Discord is not. The weather here on Earth is a great example of chaos in action. Humans have no control over the climate, so you can have catastrophic events like Category 5 hurricanes and heatwaves that bring drought and brushfires. But you can also have beautiful days, where the temperature and weather is just right, even without a pegasus weather team keeping things in order. It makes sense that you have an entire branch of mathematics dedicated to it. What isn’t understood needs to be researched until it is understood. Even if the only conclusion that can be drawn is to ‘expect the unexpected’.
penguincascadia: What is your favorite get away place in the New York City metropolitan area?
This is going to sound counterintuitive, but any major sporting event. If you’ve ever heard of the term ‘being alone in a crowd’ it actually works. I go by myself, and if I’m going to a Yankees game, I dress in the colors of the Boston Red Sox, even if that’s not the team they’re playing. Likewise, if I go to a Giants game, I dress in Cowboys colors. I find that keeps most people from approaching me, and the ones that do are just the way I like them: hostile. Shouting at people is a great way to vent some frustrations, even if I don’t actually care who wins. People get so worked up over silly games.
Bahamuttone: The weather thing is interesting… As in Equestria the weather IS controlled, that removes chaos from the system. So it may be sensible that this chaos that gets removed in turn coalesces into Discord. Wouldn't you think that to be reasonable?
I… I never thought of that. I suppose it’s possible, though what happened all those centuries when he was petrified? I obviously never had the chance to ask him, but I spent years trying to get into his head. I read everything there was to read about him. I wanted to understand his motivations. While I was never able to ascertain what drives him to be chaotic, I developed some hypotheses on the subject. Could it be the pony’s natural inclination to remove chaos from our environment, and replace it with structure? Is that why he hates ponies so much? I don’t know, and he won’t talk to me about it, but maybe you can ask him someday. I’d be curious to know the real answer.
is something more direct and implied that there is ‘care’. Discord was completely careless in his approach to ponies. And that is also why he is considered ‘redeemed’ as now he started to care for somepony (namely at least Fluttershy…). That said the careless/carefree attitude may be a fundamental part of what he is.
So you would say it’s more indifferent, lackadaisical whimsy? He acts like a spoiled brat, so that hypothesis certainly has some merit.
As for his ‘redemption’, I know I sound like a broken record here, but I think he’s playing one of his games. He’s been defeated a few times and I think he’s just biding his time until a good opportunity comes along again. He betrayed ponykind when Tirek attacked, but I think that’s less him showing his ‘true colors’ and more a strategic move. Keep in mind that Discord isn’t stupid. Have you ever seen his stained glass window? He’s shown puppeteering ponies. He’s a master manipulator. I posit that his betrayal was an act. First, because ponies were expecting him to regress a bit, and secondly, because Tirek’s a legitimate threat to him.
He’s immortal – he can afford to play the long game.
If I’m wrong, and he really has changed, there’s only one thread keeping him grounded, and that’s Fluttershy. He’s immortal. She isn’t. I wouldn’t want to be in Equestria when she kicks the bucket.
This has opened a good dialogue. I requested intelligent questions, and you’ve all delivered. Well, except for the idiot asking about my social life. I wish there were ponies I could’ve had these discussions with back in Equestria. But it’s so hard to find ponies who don’t subscribe to the herd think.
Bahamuttone: BTW what do you think of the Discord App? It always takes me that fraction of a second to properly identify that we it's not the draconequus that they are talking about...
It takes me a bit longer than that to realize people mean the app. The longer I’m here on Earth, the better I’m getting with that. As silly and irrational as this is, I even researched the company, just to make sure Discord wasn’t actually involved with it. As far as I can tell he isn’t, but I still won’t touch it with a ten-foot pole. She shrugs. Besides, it’s a chat app. I don’t have any friends, so I don’t need a chat app.
PonyFanaticGal: Are you into magic, as in sorcery/witchcraft, or magic as in wishes and spells?
I can’t imagine growing up in a world without magic. What humans consider magic is different than what ponies would consider magic. I’ve not spent much time looking into human folklore on magic. Once I determined that it was more myth than anything tangible, and there was nothing there to help me in my quest, I abandoned further research on the subject.
In Equestria, a third of the population can do magic. There are schools dedicated to teaching magic, and there are ponies who make careers out of researching magic. Had I been dealt different cards in life, I might be an archmage back in Equestria. While I hold the title here on Earth, I consider it dubious at best. This is my prison sentence. I’ve been banished here to keep Discord and myself separated.
We don’t really have witchcraft in Equestria, unless you refer to dark magic in general, in which case, yes, I’ve ventured into the dark arts. When one’s mortal enemy is the immortal living embodiment of chaos, one tends to explore all avenues open to them. There’s always a cost, though, and I’ve yet to completely lose my equinity. The more powerful the magic, the higher the cost, and when talking about dark magic, that cost is in blood. There are some things that even I’m not willing to do in my quest to rid the world of Discord once and for all.
I’m unfamiliar with any forms of wish magic. At least not real ones. I understand humans have myths of magic genies that grant wishes, but there’s nothing like that in Equestria.
PonyFanaticGal: If you could wish for ANYTHING, what would it be? Like, something cool, magic wise, or just a better life?
I would wish that Discord never existed. Sadly, I believe he is likely the only being in existence who could make that particular wish come true, and I doubt he would be all that inclined to grant it. Barring that, I’d wish that he had never tormented me as a filly. I wish I hadn’t been at that pageant… While I don’t know where that would leave me, now, I’ve no doubt that I’d be in a better place.
PonyFanaticGal: Would you rather:
A. Wish and throw a coin into a wishing well?
B. Make a wish on a comet?
C. Make a wish by blowing a candle out?
D. Or wish using a spell-book and magic?
D, of course. A spell can be controlled, and turned into that which I desire. The rest rely on luck and/or fate, and I’ve learned not to leave things to chance.
PonyFanaticGal: Are you into astronomy, since you have a star cutie mark? Or just into celestial bodies that exist in the sky?
This is one of the best questions I’ve been asked yet. One of the fundamentals of pony society is that cutie marks determine a pony’s destiny. Or rather, the mark will be in some way, shape, or form related to what that pony’s special talent is, and will appear at the time said pony discovers that special talent.
Stars and other heavenly bodies are one of the rare exceptions. Stars and other astral bodies usually represent extremely magically-talented unicorns. I would recommend talking to Snowcatcher about this, as she’s a powerful unicorn, and when she was a filly, everypony was expecting her to get a cutie mark like mine. Imagine how crushed she was when she was showing off her new cutie mark and ponies were making fun of her for having a weather mark. Those ponies immediately dismissed her because she didn’t have stars or meteors on her flank. Admittedly, it was my first reaction upon meeting her and discovering she was the acting archmage until I took the position. As I’ve come to know her, I’ve also come to begrudgingly accept that the mare has talent – far more magical talent than a mere snowflake would suggest.
The short of it that my cutie mark is unrelated to astronomy. Most ponies have heard of Fancy Pants, but not many know of his niece, Gilded Lily. She’s very into astronomy, and her cutie mark is that of a telescope. It doesn’t really fit with her name, which is also a rarity in Equestrian society. I know her, because I also have a passing interest in astronomy. While I was vandalizing Canterlot with anti-Discord graffiti, I took advantage of the city’s observatory. It’s the largest in all of Equestria, so I had to check it out while I was in the city. I met Gilded Lily there, and she’s as enthusiastic about astronomy as I am about magic.
Oh, Starbeam, what made you think that we wouldn't be at least as bucked up as your Equestrian compatriots?
Seriously, I like her. The aggravated assault conviction in Equestria utterly disqualifies her from any Federal, State, County, or Municipal police agency, but I'd almost like her for the job, anyway, if I could be convinced she wouldn't pursue vendettas....
What's your most memorable moment (good, bad, or just plain weird) with a guest?
Have you ever heard John de Lancie talking?
In the likely event you end up a pigeon roost in the Canterlot Palace gardens, what's your preferred pose?
As always, who is your favorite colleague, oh dear like-minded magus of my heart whom I share an enemy with?
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Thank you all very much! Your questions have been answered and edited into the blog.
Huh. Given her taste in movies, she'd probably like a lot of the Jackie Chan movies if she could get them subtitled. He intentionally has a lot of visual comedic gags. And she'd probably enjoy watching people get hit in the face.
At least from what we've seen so far, the crime rate of Equestrians on Earth seems to be quite low. Here's hoping that there won't be the headline "Starbeam Twinkle nukes Newark, at least 10,000 dead or missing" or something similar.
We already are allies, he was nothing more than the villain who got rid of the opposition and got away with everything.
One of your justifications is that Discord has lost his magic before and nothing bad happened. But those occasions lasted a couple of days tops. When he was stone he was conscious and presumably his magic still passively interacted with the rest of the world. I would assume something as massive as a planetary magical field has a certain amount of inertia to it and it would take time for any real changes to be noticed. If signs of damage do start appearing are you prepared to take responsibility and dedicate the rest of your life to mitigating that damage, up to and including helping to figure out how to give Discord his power back if necessary?
Do ponies have an analogous proverb to the human saying "Before embarking on a journey of vengeance, first dig two graves?"
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Movie night!
Lady Snowblood, Sansho Dayu, Grave of the Fireflies, Ben Hur, El Cid and Ran.
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Thank you! I've responded to these questions in the blog.
(Oh, right, the name translation thing; I'd forgotten that, in my comment on the chapter.
...Though now I'm wondering if the translators have a bias, looking at the translatees' pasts. :D)
"Especially when I drive it on the sidewalks. I don’t understand why more people don’t do that. The sidewalks are substantially less congested than the roads."
...I'm guessing that another part of the reason you prefer to drive it, rather than getting your own, is that hers has little flags on the hood that make the police just give you nasty looks instead of arresting you?
(Also, I actually wasn't disliking her all that much until she said that. Welp.)
("Of note, the Mareiott is located less than twenty miles from the Ringwood Mines Superfund site which may have contaminated the local water supply. She may also be kidding – it’s hard to tell."
Ah. I thought she meant holy water, specifically, and was saying something about her own nature, though almost certainly in jest.)
(Ah, and I see someone else (Oh, you, actually, from the lack of another name there, I'm guessing.) already remarked on that.)
Regarding religions, have you looked into Hellenism at all? As I understand it, the Roman version was both quite open to syncretism and tied up with a view of bringing order to the world, though I admit I have not studied it in much detail myself.
"If something is truly random, there’s an equal opportunity for something good to happen as there is for something bad to happen. Yet that never happened when Discord broke loose."
Not even with Wheels?
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Thank you! Answered your questions in the blog (note that two of the three questions were added in to the relevant parts in the discussion, so they're mixed in and not all at the end), and a couple of additional notes here:
Don't take that seriously - Starbeam was less than cooperative during the interview process in an attempt to rush through it. I think it backfired on her though, because folks asked her more questions as a result.
On a side note, Ploomette's not an ambassador, and doesn't have (much) diplomatic immunity. Consuls (including consul generals) don't get afforded that luxury (except in official capacities). Meaning her Lincoln can get pulled over and ticketed, Equestrian flags or not. However, those flags are also a bright red warning sign that say 'you can pull me over if you want, but be prepared for substantially more paperwork than normal.'
Little flags on the hood or not, driving on the sidewalk is going to get her a visit from the NYPD.
From Wikipedia:
Contrary to popular belief, many of the staff of consulates may be career diplomats, but they do not generally have diplomatic immunity unless they are also accredited as such. Immunities and privileges for consuls and accredited staff of consulates (consular immunity) are generally limited to actions undertaken in their official capacity and, with respect to the consulate itself, to those required for official duties. In practice, the extension and application of consular privileges and immunities can differ widely from country to country.
Also, even those with true diplomatic immunity (in this case, Prince Blueblood) can be issued traffic citations: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consular_immunity
That was the implication, yes. Pretty sure she's joking.
...I hope.
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Ah, thanks, for the answers and information!
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You're welcome as always!
What do you think about the concept of chaos in human science?
What is your favorite get away place in the New York City metropolitan area?
"Hm the weather thing is interesting... As in Equestria the weather IS controlled, that removes chaos from the system. So it may be sensible that this chaos that gets removed in turn coalesces into Discord. Wouldn't you think that to be reasonable?"
"Btw what do you think of the Discord App? It always takes me that fraction of a second to properly identify that we it's not the draconequus that they are talking about..."
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Thank you! These have been answered in the blog.
“Following up on your answer… I don’t think ‘hate’ is the correct concept there. Hatred is something more direct and implied that there is ‘care’. Discord was completely careless in his approach to ponies. And that is also why he is considered ‘redeemed’ as now he started to care for somepony (namely at least Fluttershy…).
That said the careless/carefree attitude may be a fundamental part of what he is.”
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Thank you again! Reply is in the blog, as usual!
Made a vector of the Cutie Mark.
Hope it is correct.
derpicdn.net/img/2022/3/13/2824920/large.png
Source PNG: https://derpibooru.org/images/2824920
Source SVG: https://derpibooru.org/images/2824929
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Oh my gosh! You're awesome! Thank you very much!!!
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Thank you, as always, for the questions. I've added them to/replied to them in the blog.
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Makes two of us.
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As always, thank you for the question! This has been answered in the blog. She's not really one for leaving things up to fate.
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Thank you! It's nice to run into another person who appreciates the 'HasbrOCs' as I've seen the toy-only characters called. They deserve their own place in the spotlight, and Business Trip/16 is my way of giving them a chance to shine.
On a side note, if you create a folder so stories can be added to your Favorited My Little Ponies That Are Not In The Show Club group I'll add a few. I'd been toying with the idea of creating such a group for years (I was going to call it HabrOCs, lol)
Lastly, once more I've added your question to the blog and replied there.