A filly wakes up to find that she doesn't know where she is or who she is. All she knows is that her name is Celestia, but that doesn't help much when everything is so dark and quiet.
:This story is my personal cannon. I didn't take it or reference it from anything so if you read this and get mad because you had the same basic idea I'm sorry because I HATE copycats and had no intenstion of ripping something off:
Page generated in 0.063 seconds
Total duration
936 users online
177,349 hits today, 2,040,550 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well, that was awesome. I particularly enjoyed the unique look at the beginning of the world, from the eyes of a child.
There were a few small errors in grammar and spelling, namely: " She couldn't breath!" The word is breathe, breath is what you exhale.
The other is just comma placement, or more specifically, the lack of commas. Near the end, Celestia says: "Well Philomena, I'm starting to get hungry...".
The thing about the errors, though, is that they didn't draw me away from the story. Well done and bravo, have your first like and take a fav as well.
My only question... where is Luna?
3420322 yeah sorry about the commas, I suck at them. I'm going to try writing another story in the future that will reveal Luna.
I loved this! It was a great take on how Celestia got her Cutiemark and her Phoenix. I loved the descriptive language you used to describe how dark and desolate the world was before Celestia created the sun. I. LOVED. IT!
4726575 I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I want to write a sequel with Luna but I just always give up when I write!
4726588
Don't worry, I do to! The best way to calm yourself is to take a deep breath, refocus, and set a goal. For example, I will write for ten minutes today. It really helps the brain commit!
4726621 Oh but I have so many ideas running through my head! I can't focus on just one!
4726648
Yeah, same with me. Try writing them down in a notebook as you type. That way you can remember them and come back to them later.
4726665 Okie Dokie
4726670
You are awesome. Ya know that? Well, ya do now.
4726676
Oh stop it 
4726690
Never...
Well, your writing style is good, but personally I like stories with a bit more in the way of plot. (Or at least more meaningful syntax.)
5016550 Oh yeah. This was more of a "spur of the moment" type of things. I just got an idea and wrote it down without really thinking story-wise. But you're right, this definitely won't win any awards.