And now I want to slap Cheerilee. She's a damn school teacher! She should listen and be unbiased.

Oh, and DT deserved it.

4294145

Wait, look at this from Cheerilee's prospective.

She is simply being a mediator and keeping the foals in her care from fighting.

She isn't the villain.

Oh, and at least one person has no soul and hates Derpy Hooves.

4294158 But not listening to both sides? When I was in school, even if I was in the wrong, the teachers listened to each story.

I'd be bringing a formal complaint against her in this case.

4294169

Next chapter actually deals with this from Cheerilee's perspective... Briefly.

Next chapter will also feature Sparkler. Moody teenaged filly Sparkler, who has trouble figuring out her place in the world.

lol i feel like theres a theme here...
"pegasi are brutes"
"unicorns are snobs"
"earth ponies are numbskulls"

Will there be a perspective from Spike?
So we can see the perspective of a non-Pony, like a dragon (Which would be very different, seeing as they're predators, not ponies)

Aaaand here we have Cheerilee being a typical teacher, who freaks the actual fuck out the moment anyone steps visibly out of line while completely ignoring anything she can't be sued for going on.

One thing to look out for is starting almost every paragraph with a proper noun (especially someones name). It's a fairly common thing and an easy trap to fall into if you don't look out for it. While not technically wrong, it does make the story less interesting as each paragraph starting out the same way makes for a boring read. Here's a good example chunk to show case this from story:

Piña Colada sat outside the schoolhouse.....

Dinky was always looking out for her.....

Dinky, even though she was a unicorn.....

Piña Colada felt a twang of frustration.....

Piña Colada began to dance.....

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were the worst.....

Piña Colada actually burst into tears.....

Piña Colada had no way of knowing that earth ponies had.....

I guess my question is how do unicorns fit into pack mentality. I guess unicorns seem more individualistic when you consider Twilight or Rarity who mostly seem to work on their own. You've discussed how earth ponies and pegasi in a pack fit together.

Well I'm sure you'll inform us in time as the story developes.

Again, I'm really intrigued by how your describing the differences between the three pony races and how they interact with each other.

Super interesting story

Hm... I am curious, and hope that Cheerilee eventually gets set straight.

hmm judging by the description this seems very familiar to me... I just can't put my-

-ah yes there we go!

Well somehow i understand cheerilee, but i am mad with her beeing so stubborn about the swat.
I wonder how she never notice one of diamonds bullying moments.

The chapters can´t come fast enough, i like the story Derpy is just......Derpy and thats reason enough to like her
I see Derpy in the position to fall in love with Bucky first.
And i would like to see Bucky, that he not understand the sign of her love right away.

Somehow i want to have a really heart warming moment if Derpy confessed her love for him later, i mean it is just cute if she is maybe a little bit affraid, because she think´s she could be rejected again.

(I don´t know Sparkler enough yet, is she not Twilights daughter in some fanfics?)

4294304

Oh crap, this is a thing now?

Sigh.

One more thing to make effort on to bring my writing into modern usage. Thanks.

4294931
Haha was reading this with the William tell Overture and the Can Can dance from the beginning.

both work just fine withe love starving Derpy in hot persuit of her scared to death escaping stallion.

Hm... How dare you... make a story I find so-far enjoyable from the get-go.

Hm... *thanks the author, Pegasus style!*

being an earth pony, with no magic or wings, all earth ponies had for defense was strength in numbers, and the protection of the herd.

Sooo, your going the route that Earth ponies are inferior to the other two tribes in all areas? Most writers usually at least go with the "Earth pony strength and stamina" thing. It's a bit odd that you didn't as it makes sense that they would have these things. Maybe It'll come up later. Anyway, I have to agree with the consensus that Cheerilee is acting in the wrong.

“Let me finish!” said Cheerilee in an angry but controlled voice.

She's doing, not only what a teacher should never do, but what no one should do as it is incredibly rude. Cutting off others and refusing to let them speak their peace is a horrible thing to do, and something I wouldn't expect from A) an adult, B) a professional, and C) someone speaking to a child. Sadly, I have been finding this a more common occurrence these days in real life; I get in a debate with someone, wait patiently for them to finish speaking before giving my views, and being almost immediately interrupted as they deny my side. Common courtesy is a dying art for humanity and apparently ponies as well.

I have to hand it to you and give you brownie points for a unique view on how the tribes interact within the tribe as oppose to how they interact with other tribes . I'm quite frankly in awe about how much thought was put into it, taking into account that this is the first time that I have seen this. This is a nice change of pace considering how little of the stories I have read in the grand scheme of the site. I find this read very fascinating and am looking forward to reading the rest of the story.

Your Newly Acquired Fan,
Aerigim

First chapter: I find a humorous story about a pegasus chasing a unicorn.

Second chapter: Exposition with minimal character development.

Third chapter: The characters start to shine through the world building exposition. This is when I decide that I should read more.

Let me go into a little bit of detail here. Spouting exposition does not make for good entertainment, for example look at the train-wreck that was The Last Airbender that M. Knight Shyamalan gave us. Take a lesson from his failure, show more and explain less. The first chapter should hook the audience and each subsequent chapter should keep us engaged.

That being said; I have a lot of patience due to my resilience with written work and the fact that I may have been drinking a bit too heavily tonight...

Why is the rum gone?

Anyway, I am hooked now and I will continue following this story.

The different perspectives is good; though it's almost ridiculous that these 'pony tribes' are living together, presumably for generations, and all these misunderstanding's aren't common knowledge.

Over the generations, cultures would eventually merge; if they didn't at least you would have classes in primary school, explaining the different cultures.

Somebody needs to do this to Diamond Tiara:

4294237 At least the teachers I had listened to both sides even if it didn't impact the punishment at all. Procedure, I guess. To them, actions are more important than the reasons behind them. Still, Cheerilee is being a complete plothole. She isn't even trying to understand Dinky's point of view.

I have to admit. This story is interesting so far. You've built up on the cultural differences (which I like), along with the more personal differences with each character. I'm kind of glad to read it.

4294237 My teacher would always turn a blind eye to verbal or physical bullying, then he'd notice the moment I retaliated. He was a bloody jerk, and I'm glad he's gone. I pity the poor Chinese though, as they have to put up with him.

Now all my teachers luv me! Woo-hoo!

Ehhh.....I've never been a fan of the whole 'earth ponies are inferior' thing. And I'm not sure why there would still be such a huge degree of cultural divergence since it's been over a thousand years since the tribes were unified. If anything you'd see that type of divergence based on geographical location rather than by tribe.

But the writing is good, so I'll stick around and see what happens from here on out.

“I have a funny story to tell you Dinky," said Derpy.

MIssin' that thar quotation mark right thar.

rereading a bit of this cause i feel a little lsot.

this was a pretty good chapter but......... i don't know. it seems very odd that cheerilee would be completely ignorant of that. she is a teacher that teaches in a town that is, while largely arth ponies, a mix of pony races to it. her not knowing about pegasus tendency for physicality or understanding it does not make sense.

also for some reason i have a hard time thinking that the species that can pulverize stone, break building, and uproot trees would be easily frightened. the majority of mundane threats, short of exceptional supernatural predators, they could simply plow through. send them tulbing all wither and dither and send them scampering for cover.

4846057
They're herbivores: prey. Nuff said.

4846057 also think about it when a teacher is told what they teach is wrong they act the same way as cheerilee did. It's basic teacher instincts. When someone questions your teachings, you get pissed because you don't realise that it's all wrong. You just see that someone is questioning your own knowledge and you must protect that. Teachers man. Teachers.

4846057
Its the same reason we humans fear snakes even though we have the power to destroy the planet 10 times over. Its evolutionary instinct.

I dislike cheerilee now.

Wow... After reading this, I can't help to think of me and my family... It honestly feels like I'm a Pegasus among gryphons... They always fight and think that shouting, screaming, and threatening will get their points across. Then you have me sitting here watching all this as if I'm scared they'll all leave bitter and hurt.

Oh, I almost forgot why I wanted to comment... CHEERILEE! You are a teacher, You KNOW Dinky is being raised by a Pegasus, Yet you can't find out that Diamond Tiara started it all by pushing another student?! There is no way none of the other students saw it happen, so they MUST have told you why this even occurred! Diamond threatened the flock, Dinky defended it! She tried to stop the bully from hurting her more! The only two reasons I can see for this occurring are:

A) You think that violence of any kind is wrong. (Which is a flawed reason all together.)

B) You're scared of Filthy Rich attempting to get you fired. (Which makes no sense because he's not in charge of you.)

:)

It's difficult to want to keep reading when you're actively telling me that I shouldn't.

Regardless, I'll stick with what I said on the first chapter: it's interesting, thus far.

I'm sorry, but your reverse psychology isn't going to work on me, I was going to continue reading no matter what you said.

What I don't get is why are the Pegasi so damn special? You give no indication that they are the superior ones, just a bunch of biology that honestly could be left out, and feels like padding. I don't care about all the technical stuff, I just want a story. And so far, I've just been bored with these three chapters. Nothing's impressed me.

That is exactly why the so called adults in school and maybe at home will never be able to solve problem with bullies...aldults that can are far and few between...

Dear Princess Celestia
Today I learned that Earth ponies are numbskull.
Your Loving Student
Twilight Sparkle

To think this is 2,000,000 words, I'm going to be here for a while.

All you veterans out they, wish me luck and maybe in a few months, I'll be up there in the new chapters

I'm in for the long haul.

Talk to Twilight! She'll at least make an effort to understand, and perhaps document, the differences in social behavior!

5484162
Constructive criticism is appreciated by authors, even if it's negative, but the negative should always come with something positive. That's where your criticism falls short. Still your opinion is valid.

Man I love the Pegasi traits, they're really cool to me. They're all protective, do tight hugs, and they're fluffy!

Nice job man, you make me smile! :D

I never knew tribal sociology could be so intresting, especially when it's exolained so well.
Now I hate earth ponies.
But I love Piña Colada.

Okay, one last comment for the time being.

I enjoy the retrospective author comments. It's fun to have insight into the process of a fellow writer. Also, this chapter was another good dip into building your story's world. Enjoying thus far!

A teacher of multiple racial perspectives should endeavor to understand all behavior that she might come across. Then again, she is a numskull.

I'm no stranger to teachers inferences

Hmmm. This is different.

Still consider this one of the best stories on the site