Twilight Sparkle, new A+ student at Ponyville High, expects handsome jock Flash Sentry to capture her heart. But instead she'll meet a cowgirl who might do just that. Friendships will be made and feelings will grow. What ever will she do?
WARNING: Grammar mistakes+clichés
An equestria girls fic without a predictable plot and no horrendous cliches? Hmmm
Good start so far, my only little complaint is maybe be a bit more descriptive with the characters, like with what they're wearing.( that sounds wrong no matter how I put it.) we know how they're supposed to be dressed if we watched EG, but it'd still be a nice little bit of imagery.
4503354 thanks for the suggestion.
Oooooh I like where this is going so far
But you should really give this a look over and fix the mistakes. It stops the flow of the story and makes it a bit difficult to read.
But that's not saying the stories bad
Oh and at the end:
"...friend."
Yeeaaaaahhhh...'friend'.
Anyways,
Love the story
Love you
Interesting, I'll be reading
Interesting story, though it could do with a good proofread. Would you mind terribly if I proofread it and mailed you the errors and what not?
Ok, r those two datin or did they hav a fallin out ? Unless it's that whole rivals thing maybe ? Anyways, so rite now twi hates t school (which is understandable sometimes ) n' just meet 3 of her soon to be future friends
4510285 I guess you have to read the rest of the story to find out.
4509946 no it doesn't bother me. It would be a big help!
4515306
lame but, fine i'll wait for now
4518147 Good..................
Intresting i will keep an eye on this.
Kill him he no one will miss him. He will be gone in a, Flash
~Tobben
Finish this!
Hey, it's not dead! Huzzah!
I thought we were gonna need the paddles,
wow, twilight. just.....wow.
Yay! More of this fic! I can't wait for more!
I love it are they going to get back together if they are yay appledash!!!!
Just started reading this and it's pretty good, it has grammar problems but not enough for me to care.(I'm not good with grammar so why should I complain)
I noticed that it took a bit for this to update but I'll stick with this to see where it goes.
good luck, I'll be waiting for more
Well... Shit.
Well... Shit.
Ok, besides debatin weither i should gibbs' slap for that dumb answer to 's question or just puttin it down as twiley bein her adorkable self . Anyways kinda got to agree with on any type of math class being somewhat dumb at times . Other then that i was rite on her n' Aj datin but, currently they're not due to a misunderstandin . Altho they still do hav some feelins for each other even if their pride or whatever is blockin any chances rite now i guess
i think rainbow dash and applejack are dating but it could just be me also pinkie pie is applejacks cousin
Like the story, but I can't get over the fact that you keep switching from past to present tense.
5007470 um, sorry
i'll check that out
when is the Next Chapter out...
5024884 Soon my child, soon
5025641 ...
5025641 How soon?
5045219 Soon enough child. Be patient, I know it's been awhile but I have excuses I swear
Welcome to the club. The "What the shit?" club. And the "Smart peeps club." IT ALL SUCKS!
5107352 Yup,
This is awesome I NEED MORE! and this is kinda an Appledash isn't it? that's AWESOME!
S-Sunny would never act like that though... N-not anymore...
5346112 *slaps you* I. CAN. DO. WHAT. I. WANT. (oh so you read it/ )
5346398 *huddles in a corner*
5346618 I AM KIRA, I CAN DO WHAT I WANT
5353565 b-but... Yes ma'am
5359814 I AM THE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD, deal with it
5360075 But sunny is a nice person...
5360334 THIS WAS BEFORE THETHINGS AND THE STUFF, I HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE EITHER *slaps multible times*
5360413 *cries*
5360621 *continues slapping* hahahahahaahhahaMOUHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
5363389 *Jamie comes to the rescue and kicks you to the round, ripping out your heart and eats it* No.
(Legit what she told me to type XD)
5363453 HAHAHA, JOKES ON HER CAUSE I DONT HAVE A HEART.
(She is so sweet)
5363515 *Jamie beats her with the devil*
(also what she told me to type.)
5363557 b-but satan.... I thought we had something special,....
(oh, what a sweet and gentle girl she is)
5363567 lol, NOPE. *she laughs an evil laugh*
(I've give her the computer now.)
5363572 You leaveme no choice. *get hoy water that was chilin there.* THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU *burns satan, laughs at jamie.* Deal with it.
(Okie, hi jamie)