It was a bright, sunny day in Ponyville, and all the little ponies were going about their business. The hustle and bustle of a small town may not seem like much to those from much larger cities, but it never died down. Even on Sundays, ponies still did what needed to be done. They were hard-working, and proud of it!
Among all the little ponies, one stood out: A bright pink earth pony with bright pink curly hair, hopped through the square, with basket in tooth. Her destination was Carousel Boutique at the far end of town. As she hopped through the tiny hamlet, her enthusiasm was at peak efficiency. This was mostly because of her plans for the next couple days. Which she was crossing town right then to prepare for.
As she entered the humble shoppe, a bell rang, she quickly proceeded to what she would only describe as a white blob with a purple tree sticking out the side.
The white blob was Pinkie's friend Rarity, who was examining a dress that was hanging on a ponykin. She couldn't see the door as the bell rang, but before she could respond to it, or even move, a pink blur appeared on top the ponykin and said, "HI!"
"WAH!" Rarity screamed, falling on her back. When she came back to her senses, she could see her best friend, Pinkie Pie, leaning over the ponykin she was working on. "Pinkie Pie! You scared me!"
"OH! Sorry Rarity!" said the overly cheerful party pony. "I just came to ask a favour." She returned to the floor behind the ponykin.
Rarity walked around it to the middle of the shop, still slightly annoyed at Pinkie for her abrupt entrance. "Uh, what is it?"
Pinkie turned her head around, and picked up the basket that was behind her, she left it next to the ponykin when she went to greet Rarity. It would be hard to talk with that thing in her mouth.
Rarity looked at the basket and levitated it towards her. She moved the white sheet covering it, and pulled out what could only be described as some type of uniform. It was a white shirt with pink and brown accents along the edges, she also saw a similarly coloured hat. Actually, the hat could better be described as a visor, since it had no top to it. Regardless, the shirt did need some work, after all, it had several tears in it, as well as a brown stain on the front.
"It got really torn up last time I wore it," Pinkie explained, slightly sad. "That was a pretty crazy day!" she continued with a chuckle.
"...and...um...the brown?" Rarity said, almost afraid to ask.
Pinkie lowered her eyelids. "Chocolate, Rarity."
"Right! Right..." In hindsight, that should have been obvious. She started walking over to her workspace, with the shirt in tow, Pinkie hopping after her with a smile.
"These tears...I might have to rebuild it unless you want several unsightly stitches in it," Rarity explained. "Do you need this today?"
"Tomorrow actually!" Pinkie said with regret. "I'm sorry Rarity, I forgot it was in such bad shape until today! I pull it out of my closet this morning and BOOM it's all torn up!"
Rarity sighed, Pinkie did tend to be a bit scatterbrained, so this didn't surprise her. But Rarity was in a good mood, and the shoppe wasn't very busy on Sundays, even for the short time it was open, so a project like this would at least keep her occupied. "It'll be done by the end of the day."
Pinkie gasped, "Thank you, Rarity!" She screamed as she hugged the unicorn. "You're a great friend."
"It's nothing, really," Rarity replied, modestly. "So, why exactly do you need it tomorrow?"
Ponyville Park was packed. Ponies from all walks of life was trotting, chatting and playing. It was such a beautiful day, so everypony was out enjoying it.
Out of all the little ponies, only one was trying to avoid the crowd. Sweetie Belle was trotting through, with a smile on her face, and a brown paper bag in her mouth, looking for the least populated area.
Her favourite poplar was easy to find, it was at the top of a small hill, on one edge of the park. Almost no pony ever came to this end of the park, unless they needed to. So it was a perfect secluded location.
However, at this very moment, the poplar wasn't secluded. Sitting right under the tree and leaning against it, was a young, yellow, earth pony, with a giant pink bow in her bright red mane. Her name was Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle's best friend, and the only way to describe Apple's mood right now was: bored.
"Hey, Apple Bloom!", Sweetie Belle said as she approached her friend, dropping the sack.
"Meh!" replied the tired earth pony.
Sweetie Belle sat down across from Apple Bloom under the shade of the poplar. She magically opened the sack, and pulled out a single cupcake topped with orange frosting. She wouldn't dare use her magic with any other ponies watching, she felt like she would just be showing off. Plus, she just wasn't confident enough to use it and not have it fail while everyone was watching. But Apple Bloom wasn't as judgemental as other ponies she knew, and was more likely to encourage her friend.
As she started munching on the cupcake, Apple Bloom began speaking in full sentences. "Well," she said, "seems your magic's working pretty well."
"OOO!" Sweetie said, moving the cupcake to the side. "It most certainly is! Especially since last night. You see-"
Apple Bloom interrupted her friend, "I'm sure it's a fascinating story Sweetie Belle, but I haven't had lunch yet so..." She glanced toward the sack, and smiled sweetly. So, the young unicorn levitated a cupcake with blue frosting towards her friend, who then grabbed it in her hooves and began munching.
After a bit of silence, Apple Bloom decided to open the conversation, "You seem in a good mood."
A giant grin appeared on Sweetie Belle's face as she was about to answer, but Apple Bloom interrupted her again, "wait, wait, don't tell me. You're excited for-"
"-the big carnival!" Pinkie explained. "It's opening tomorrow and Sugarcube Corner is going to have a stand there!" She was extremely giddy at this development, "and I get to run it all on my own...well...sorta..."
"Oh, well, that's great Pinkie," Rarity said, "I'm sure it's a fantastic opportunity."
"Yeah! For once I'll be in charge of something and not have it end in disaster," suddenly, the smile on her face began to fade. "...I hope."
As a roll of white fabric came over to where Rarity was standing, Pinkie noticed something interesting. Her best friend was in a really good mood, more so than usual. She was whistling a jaunty tune and Pinkie noticed the mare was moving with the music in a sort of subtle dance. There was also a smile on her face, and an almost dreamy look in her eyes.
Now, Rarity was typically in a good mood when she was working, and Pinkie's presence always made ponies happy, but this was different. In fact, Pinkie could simply not account for this level of happiness. It was unprecedented from Rarity, she was downright giddy.
"So..." Pinkie said, "you're in a good mood!"
"Oh, Pinkie," she replied, "I most certainly am!"
Rarity opened her mouth to continue, but was interrupted by Pinkie, "Wait! Let me guess! I love guessing! Ummm...ooo! It's the carnival! You're excited for the carnival!"
"It's not the carnival," Sweetie said, eyelids lowered.
"Well then," Apple Bloom asked, "What is it?"
Sweetie Belle sighed joyously, "It's-"
"-Spike!" Rarity said before Pinkie could try another guess. After all, if she let Pinkie continue this game, they would have been there all day, and there was work to be done.
"Spike!?" Pinkie asked.
"The Dragon?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Yep," Sweetie said, smiling, her eyes almost dreamy.
"Well...um..."
"...what about him?" asked the pink earth pony.
Rarity turned and looked directly at her earth pony friend. "Pinkie..."
"...I think I'm in love with him!" Sweetie's grin went from ear to ear.
"What!?" the yellow earth pony replied, shocked.
"When did this happen!?" Pinkie asked, smiling ear to ear.
"Last night," Sweetie explained.
Rarity elaborated, "we went out for dinner, had a lovely time."
Sweetie was giddy, "I was at Ponyville Park, it was late, he was there as I was practicing my magic, he taught me a few things, like how to focus, and then, when we found out it was past my bedtime, he offered to explain to my parents and take the blame. He was so nice."
"He was absolutely charming, the perfect gentlecolt," Rarity was swooning.
"Rarity, I'm so happy for you!" Pinkie said, hopping up and down.
"I don't believe this," Apple Bloom said.
"What's not to believe?" Sweetie Belle asked, slightly confused.
"Sweetie Belle, he's a dragon!" Apple Bloom tried to explain. "Not a pony...a dragon!"
Sweetie Belle was not impressed. "So?"
"Don't you ever stop and think, how will everypony else see this!?"
"But..." Pinkie continued. "I mean, I don't mean to be mean but don't you think everyone else would be mean?"
Rarity had already turned back to her work, her sewing machine was running at full power. "What?"
"I mean, Spike's a dragon, you're a unicorn, not that there's anything wrong with that, but a lot of ponies can be pretty judgemental," Pinkie, the eternal pragmatist explained, with a small chuckle at the end, as if she told a joke she knew only she would get.
Rarity sighed...
"I've thought about that," explained the young unicorn.
"Really?" Apple Bloom asked.
Sweetie Belle nodded. "Last night, I was up thinking for half the night. But-"
"-to be honest," Rarity explained. "I don't really care!"
"What!?" Pinkie was quite shocked at this turn of events. Heck, this was Rarity, the only pony who cared more about her self-image was the eternal nervous wreck: Rainbow Dash.
"I mean, it might not have a such a positive impact on my business."
"Sure, everypony will make fun of me," Sweetie said, she was pacing back and forth. "But that happens to me already and I'm used to it."
"But if ponies are that judgemental, they don't deserve my masterpieces," Rarity said with pride.
"...and if it get's worse, I'm fine with that," Sweetie continued.
"Besides, when I'm around him, everything feels lighter," Rarity was metaphorically walking on air.
"Just knowing I'm with him, will make it easier," Sweetie said with joy. "Because Spike..."
Rarity appeared to be in her own little world. "He...well..."
"He makes me happy!" the unicorns said with a grin, as stars danced in their eyes.
Apple Bloom looked at her friend. "I see..." She said, "Well, Sweetie, I'm happy for you, I wish there was some colt in town I felt that way about."
"There isn't?"
"Have you looked at this town?" Apple Bloom said as she pointed to the crowd.
Sweetie looked where Apple Bloom was pointing, in the distance she could see Snips and Snails, their manes covered in bubble gum and stuck together. "How'd they manage that, again!?"
"Well Rarity, that's great," Pinkie said with a grin. "So what's going to happen next?"
"Well, we have a date planned next week," Rarity said. "...or...actually, it's this week-this coming week."
"Well, anyway," Apple Bloom said. "That's great and all, but how do you know he feels the same way?"
Sweetie paused for a second before replying, "I guess I don't."
Pinkie scratched her head. "Seems kinda general."
"Well, yeah, we didn't plan anything concrete yet.
"Well you gotta fix that!" Apple Bloom explained.
"How?" Sweetie asked.
"Go to him and ask him out!" the young earth pony said, forcefully.
"Go to him and solidify your plans," Pinkie said with a smile.
"Solidify?" Rarity asked, it was such an odd choice of words.
"Ask him out!?" Sweetie was a bit freaked out by this proposal. "I can't do that!"
"Why not!?"
"Why not!?"
"No, Pinkie, what I mean is...nevermind. I'll go see him today."
"That's great, and..." fear hit Pinkie's face.
"What if he says 'no'!?" Sweetie Belle asked, the idea obviously frightened her.
"Then he says 'no,' but at least you know!"
"Is that the right time!?" Pinkie asked, pointing to a clock on the wall.
Rarity followed her friend's gaze. "Oh, yes, yes it is. Why!?"
"I have to get back to work," Pinkie was a bit panicked, but she kept her eye on the ball, "I'll see you later Rarity and thanks a bunch!" She screamed as she galloped out the door.
Rarity went back to work, with a smile on her face.
Sweetie Belle was perplexed, "What?"
Apple Bloom sighed. "Just ask him," she said right before she went back to work on the cupcake.
Sweetie Belle was suddenly very worried. Apple Bloom quickly ate the rest of her cupcake, as Sweetie Belle found she suddenly couldn't eat any more. She was too worried about what would happen next. What exactly would she say, and what exactly would he say? This could ruin her life, or make it a lot better. But there was only one way to find out, she just had to not screw up.
Easier said than done.
Regarding Chapter 3:
When writing this, I was mostly writing it with the events playing in my head. Though I'm not sure if it worked as well on paper. If you have any comments regarding flow, I would love to hear them. I love criticism.
No criticism here every thing flowed wonderfully. great story so far keep it up.
The dual scene worked great! Wonderful story!
I'm begging you that either of those sisters say "Oh No You Didn't." Please?
554495
Well, I can guarantee you that won't happen, because it sounds stupid and is, most certainly, not something either of them would say.
While it was nicely done writing wise, the fact that you used full lines to indicate scene changes made it a bit hard to read, using only two -- is usually easier.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
I did like how both rare and sweetie were saying the same lines, the way you had it worded was just lovely.
Only thing I can say with a meh is the fact rare seem less phase about the subject. But I'm guessing she more mature?
Anyhow keep it up mate
555059
Less jarring section breaks? Noted. Hmmm...perhaps I can design a graphic. :D
555453
Yes, Rarity is more mature. It's a characteristic that one develops as they get older...at least, most do.
553844
Sweetie is, if nothing else, overly optimistic, and tends to rush into things a bit more, primarily due to her lack of experience. The question is, will this bite her in the flank, or not?
I felt that you did a great job on the chapter. It flowed well, and I was able to see the scenes switching so easily. Here is your reward.
Now I must go back to being in a coma from the legen...wait for it...dary movie that was The Avengers.
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
ooohhh trouble's coming
Ha, that was very nicely laid out indeed.
555059
Since you mentioned it, I removed the carriage returns that surround the <HR>s. Turns out, unlike good publishing platforms, this site preserves those kinds of things.
That was a fun chapter. I always like the "two different conversations with the same theme interfering" trick, and you pulled that one off brilliantly
Will this have separate endings for either of them? That'd be nice.
577404
Separate endings? Do you have any idea how much that would restrict me as an artist? Any idea at all? It means I would need to have the plot progress in a way that either filly could get the dragon, up until the final chapter, which means no foreshadowing or anything.
Plus, multiple endings pretty much means no ending, and no real closure, because going up to that point, you already know either girl could get the guy, so nothing would really be revealed.
Seriously, what do you think this is!? A dating sim!?
If you really want, if you don't like the ending I write, you can always write your own alternate ending. That's the beauty of the CC licence.
That was an excellent and also fun chapter!
Looking good dude...Looking REEAAL good!
http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/704a65b5c8298201d5bf89dfa0d01005/130303%20-%20animated%20big_macintosh%20brace_yourselves%20macro%20reaction_image%20shitstorm.gif
hahahahah wooooow great fic !!!!! please !! upload da next chap :D !!!!!!!!!!!
606755>>601573
NB: If you want to read Chapter Four - Questions, it's on the main site.
I read chapter 4 on main site. I NEED MOAR THO!!!!!!!!!! I hope this won't be on hold for much longer... cuz I need more pimpin Spike
609262
I appreciate your enthusiasm, but unfortunately, I have a mild case of writers block. I know what's going to happen in the next chapter, but I don't know how it's going to happen. It's still being charted in my head.
Anyway, since you asked, I'll try to get the next chapter out soon. Should only be a two nights of work anyway. Though I just recently rediscovered how much fun Shadow of the Colossus is, so that might be a problem.
609477 arhh, so you got hooked on that one to huh
Alright, this chapter was a doozy
MMM. Parallelism. It was kind of confusing as my screen makes the section separators too light, but otherwise a decent chapter.
im realy injoying this story and well i actualy kind of hope sweatie bell gets spike.
couse as much as injoy the spike on Rarity crush i cant see it got completely both ways.
the only reason is couse i cant help by think of Rarity being older then her other freinds and Spike being just a little older then the CMC's althought he is much more mature at times.
any way still love the story no matter how it turns out.
by the way WHERE WAS SCOOTALOO
+ + = I loved how you so perfectly meshed the conversations. That my friend, deserves praise!
*stomps hooves in applause*
I have seen what you wrote done in movies, particularly "Fifth Element" as a running gag, but this is the first time I actually read simultaneous conversations handled in that manner, and it was seamless! Awesome job there!
Well, that was eloquent. Splendid chapter; keep it up. Also, there were some REAL issues addressed here (is bestiality still frowned upon in pony society? Is it considered such when a pony has a crush on a dragon?) and I would like to see how those issues play out. Just do not let them fractalize into plot elements that turn this into an anti-society story. Those are too depressing.
Have a nice day!
--Not a brony
So it begins....the great shitstorm of our time...
Dual scene was excellent, very enjoyable read thus far. Keep up the good work!
1602233 I feel like I'm following you around lol...
Im getting the feeling that the entire cast is going to get some form of hating in some fashion or another.
First hate on Twi, now Dash gets it.
I liked the fun switches in scenes, fun read.
AppleBloom you're one to talk, YOU got pregnant from Spike
[hint hint Z.A.F. reference]
I loved it because it was like watching the show because it kept on switching scenes of the sisters talking!
2245987 Z.A.F?
the love triangle is now evident... i think in the end, he gives up and goes out with pinkie... seeing as how, in the end... the pinkie wins... she wins....................
FOREVAR!!!!!!!!
I found this: Ponyville Park was packed. Ponies from all walks of life was trotting, chatting and playing. It was such a beautiful day, so everypony was out enjoying it.
'Was' should be changed to 'were, because 'ponies' is a plural term.'
Also, "...and if it get's worse, I'm fine with that," Sweetie continued.- get's should be gets.
946653
Scootaloo was with Rainbow Dash, of course!
Seinfeld reference
I had major That 70's Show flashbacks in this chapter.
I know many people find them a bit jarring, but for some reason I really like those split back-and-forth conversation bits. It's kinda fun.
9840514
It was the funnest part of writing that. I just imagine something like that happening on the show proper.