As Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark worked to comfort Twilight, Skrunch arrived in his rocket with a news printout. It showed Qwark's real parents, and gave the report of how they died...due to faulty Technomite equipment.
Qwark took it as well as he could, all things considered. Clank did his best to comfort him as well. "I recognize them from the photo," he pointed out. "Your parents were both great heroes in their own right. You should be proud."
"How can I be proud, after how much I've let them down?" he asked. "This is the third time I've been on the wrong side...and the second time as a puppet! I...I'm no hero..."
"Yes you are," Ratchet interrupted. "Making a mistake doesn't make you less of a hero...even if it is a trend. What you do once you realize the mistake is what determines that."
Qwark managed a soft smile, wiping his eyes. "Thanks Ratchet." He chuckled. "I can always count on you three to help set me straight, can't I?" He sat down heavily. "You know...I think the real reason I came to follow you wasn't just to try and join in on your adventure." He sniffed. "The truth is...you're the closest thing I have to a family..."
Skrunch, from his position on Qwark's shoulder offering comfort, was the only one to see Twilight's eyes briefly flare with a rainbow of colors. "So...we're like family to you?" she asked softly.
"Yeah," Qwark agreed, nodding his head. "Kinda pathetic of me, huh? Especially how this all started..."
"...not if we feel the same," Twilight pointed out.
"Huh?" all four around her asked, Skrunch in his monkey tongue.
"Well...I've always wanted a big brother..." she indicated, drawing circles on the ground with her hoof. "And back on Challax, I heard Daddy talking about adopting you, so I think he feels the same way."
"Really?" Qwark asked eagerly as Ratchet facepalmed.
"Forgot how good her hearing was didn't you...Dad?" Clank teased quietly.
"Shut up...Mom," Ratchet sniped back. Louder, he spoke up, "Well...if it'll make everyone happy..."
Qwark let out an ecstatic cheer as he pulled all three of them into a hug. "I love you sis!" he called out, kissing Twilight on the cheek and making her giggle. "I love you Mom!" Kissing Clank on the cheek caused him to spark uncertainly. "I love you Dad!"
The things I do for Twilight, Ratchet thought ruefully, rubbing at his cheek.
"Now we can do all that fun family stuff I see on TV!" Twilight called happily.
The three men around her glanced at each other, wondering if they could pull this off.
Back on Veldin, Twilight, Qwark, and Skrunch sat around the dinner table. Twilight sat in a high chair to put her above the height of the new table - adjusted so Qwark could sit comfortably with them all - tilting her head in confusion at her new brothers. Skrunch was wearing green overalls, a white t-shirt, an ornate orange choker, a blonde wig, and a green hat of unusual design...and a jetpack. Qwark was wearing a white and black striped T-shirt and his old school's varsity hoverball jacket. He was also attempting to convince her of something she simply didn't understand.
"Why do I need the frying pan?" she asked yet again.
"Because," Qwark explained, "when Ratchet comes in to say hi to you, you're supposed to whack him upside the head with it and say, 'Not the Mama!' It's part of these 'normal family' things you talked about. I should know. It's from my favorite old family TV sitcom. I used to watch it all the time when I was younger."
Twilight tilted her head in confusion. "I...must have missed that one. It doesn't ring any bells." She glanced towards Skrunch. "And...that one doesn't either."
"But...But Ratchet said you always enjoyed Old Earth TV," Qwark pointed out. "That's what these are all from."
"Huh?" she asked in surprise.
At that moment, Ratchet stepped in through the front door, wearing a white button down shirt under a black suit with a red tie. "Clanky, I'm home!" he called out happily.
Clank stepped out from the kitchen. He was wearing a red wig done up in a bun, a white dress hanging from one shoulder, and a choker of white stones. "Welcome home, Ratchet. Dinner will be ready soon."
Finally realizing what was going on, Twilight burst into laughter. "Did...did you all dress up as...characters from...different shows about families?"
The four men glanced at each other with a shrug. "It...would seem so," Clank admitted.
Ratchet scratched the back of his head. "We really should have coordinated better-" He paused as he caught sight of the frying pan. "Hey! No bludgeoning! Besides, Twilight's much too old to be the Baby."
Twilight continued to laugh. "That's not what I meant!" she gasped out. "I just...I wanted us to do normal family things...as us, now that we're a family."
"Then again," Clank pointed out, "we are the last Lombax, a uniquely designed robot, an unusual superhero, and a talking candy colored pony with wings and horn. We are not exactly normal."
Qwark shrugged. "Normal's overrated anyway."
That got a laugh out of everyone.
Later on that night, Qwark was reading Twilight a bedtime story from a picture book, making the story up as he went along. Of course, the story was all about some insanely fantastic exploit of his that probably had little anchor in reality or actual events, but Twilight was absolutely enthralled. As he reached the end of the story, she let out an adorable yawn.
"Sounds like someone's ready for beddy," he teased, tucking her in.
"Stay with me?" she pleaded sleepily.
With a soft smile, Qwark pulled out something he'd been working on. It was a small pendant in the shape of his Q symbol, on a silver chain long enough to be slipped over Twilight's head but short enough to not hang down to her hooves. "Here," he said, slipping it onto her. "As long as you wear that, no matter where you or I are...I'm always with you."
Twilight stared down at the pendant happily before letting out another yawn. "I love you, BBBFF," she murmured as she dozed off.
Qwark smiled, wiping a tear from his eye. It was the first time she called him that, but he instinctively knew what it meant and how to respond. "Love you too," he whispered as he planted a kiss just below the base of her horn, "LSBFF."
As he turned to his own bed for the night, he didn't see the pendant he'd just given her briefly flash with a rainbow sheen.
D'aww...
Beautiful.
Simply beautiful.
...So, I think it's pretty clear you intend for Twilight to return to Equestria sometime during the Tirek incident. Kinda curious how a gun toting Twilight will handle the magic eater...*sarcasm* Right. Five bits says Tirek doesn't even get near Canterlot before he's a smoking cadaver in his cell again.
Sweet! First comment! *does a credible rendition of Twilight dancing*
Interlude? Dude... rainbow... it has something to do with the story I tell you! This was no mere interlude!
Of course it had to be Tatsuruo that caused me to look back at my childhood and spit out my cup of tea at the same time...
I hate and love you right now...
Dawww she called Quark her BBBFF... if this ending got any sweeter I would have contracted diabetes.
.................
..............
.........Did you have fun making this chapter or something?
6464385
Okay, this got me curious. What are the requirements of usability?
6475155 if I had to guess, they've all only appeared in one episode, and have not been given both canon infos and development by the fandom to be used.
6475170
Sounds fair.
Maybe an interesting one would be Celestia raised by Ender Wiggins during the Speaker for the Dead/Xenocide books.
Beautifully written as always. Keep up the good work!
i.imgur.com/0DzhW.gif
Wow you used Elroy from the jettson Velma from the flintstones for scrunch and clank that is awesome
6475120
I think you mean third.
I wonder if this causes any confusion during the Inevitable Jak&Daxter team up when Shining Armor and the alternate foal-verse CMC team up with Twilight's Crew.
6475155
They have to meet at least two of the following three criteria.
One, they have a heavy influence on the plot of the show.
Two, they have a strong pre-show connection to a main character.
Three, they are based in Ponyville.
Four, I happen to be fond of them as characters.
6475295 Aww......It was the only comment when I posted it! *Pouts furiously* Not fair...
6475324 Oh boy. This is going to get very confusing, very quickly.
6475479 Seems fair
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
Awwwwwwww~
6475261 Me, too
6475479 Well there goes my hopes for a Flash Sentry story.
Is this Qwark using his stupidity to get a slight bit of payback on Ratchet for defeating him or just thinking it's actually what kids do???
DAAAAAWWWWWWWHHHHHHNNNNNNGGGG!!!!
I almost feel sorry for the version of Tirek Twilight eventually faces.... he can't absorb the power of her guns like he can magic. Add in her family helping her... Tirek is going to be begger to be back in his cage in Tartarus if Twilight doesn't kill him.
6475479 Hmmmm, nice set of rules.
6475243 Sorry only the really neardy ones read more than one book enders shadow gave bean a lot more attractive figure. As he is genetically NOT human
6475118 Twenty bits says he takes one look at the HEAVILY ARMED Twilight and VOLUNTEERS to go back in is cell without a fight.
6475990
As much as I loved 'Twilight's Kingdom', Tirek is an overblown mana battery. His only power is sapping magic from other creatures and acting like a big bully. I've always seen it as the reason why Celestia gave in at the end is because she didn't want to risk her ponies' magic.
And because the shows portrayal of Celestia just plain sucks eggs.
Fortresshy is still my favorite out of all of them.
Simply because TF2 is the best. So is Flutters.
Wait... Did Twilight just get her key!?
This narrows down when she was nicked from her version of Equestria to sometime during the fourth season, prior to the battle with Tirek. Meaning that we are going to see Twilight face him down R&C mode, possibly alongside her new family.
Will Twilight even need the power of four alicorns to make Tirek cry for mercy?
9Dads Fluttershy: "I said it before, and I'll say it again: Twilight Sparkle's class on Team Crossover is Damn Scary!"
Twilight: "I'm not that bad!"
9Dads Fluttershy: "I've played with bombs less dangerous than you!"
6476133
Either that, or there's convoluted wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff going on.
And Orvus did show up back in chapter one.
6476167 It's more like a big rug, really. :3
6476049 No, I agree entirely. My point was Tirek, seeing Twilight, even if not backed up by her adoptive family, is carrying enough MAGICLESS firepower to reduce entire star systems to ashes, simply goes "Nope, fuck that. I surrender."
6475243
From the last time it was discussed the plan is Captain Picard will be raising her. So she gets to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no pony has gone before!
6475479 That's actually a well thought out set of standards. From what I recall, the only used characters that come close would be Vinyl and Octavia. They're nowhere close to main characters (outside of Slice of Life). They have no established connection with main characters. Until Slice of Life, we didn't know if they were based in Ponyville or Canterlot. Octavia was never naturally seen in Ponyville until season 5.
In the end, you must be pretty fond of them.
I catching up on your stuff is temping me to try a Layton crossover. I don't know what character I would use, but these rules help.
So, who gets raised by Goku?
6476632
Big Mac will be raised in DBZ Abridged.
6475479
So Gilda still has a chance, then?
6476658
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But seriously, does that mean I actually have to slog through DBZA in order to differentiate it in my mind from DBZ or DBZ Kai?
6476703
Gilda's going to be raised by Glados.
And what do you mean, "slog through"? Team Four Star's DBZ Abridged is hilarious.
... You freaking ass. I recognized every last one of those references! Flintstones, Jetsons, Prehistory, (standard jock brother), and I Love Susy. I just realized how eclectic my past viewing history is. You didn't have Barb show up to act as Genie from I Dream of Genie though, so Ha!
6476658
Oh please yes.
shinning you git demoted to BF
6476711 Quick question. Are the "Family" members from each story going to be in the my little PWNY story?
Cuz seeing Ratchet and Clank interact with Jak and Daxter would be AWESOME!
I would have expected them to do DBZ as their family.
Where what they consider 'family time' is intense training with a slight chance of death.
6477100
Damn that works too! That works even better. This comment was written way before I saw Mending Fences... so that's why I never thought of it....
Wait, isn't Qwark older than Ratchet?
Eh, who cares.
6476658
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6477057
Yes. Yes they are.
Murphey is LAUGHING at you right now...
And last chapter, you nailed down why idiots are OP, goddamn it.