Well, another ordinary day for me, mainly skimming Facebook, roleplaying on other character pages, and reading fimfiction stories. Little did I know, everything was about to change. Soon, I would be thrust into a multi-world conflict that would end on my homeworld. A conflict that started with a certain someone's defeat at the Royal Canterlot Wedding.
My first Equestria/Earth story, and my third story overall. I'm still trying to make sure I manage to write a decent story. This is gonna be one wild ride.
Chapters (2)
This is my third story, and this time it is way more detailed. However, I'm still looking for anyone who can help me edit and proofread my story, as well as come up with ideas for new chapters. Any constructive criticism is well appreciated. I got this idea from another fanfic involving Queen Chrysalis(Feeding the Demons or: How You Fools Have Doomed Us All), and decided to show what might have happened after the events of that story.
Say...do you happen to know someone on Facebook called "Angular Beanro"?
No, can't say I do. Would that be you?
Just found the page. Trollface for the profile pic. Now I see who you meant.
Wanna know how I would have responded to Chrysalis's threats? "just try, we'll fill you full of lead and hate bitch!"
Ok, need some comments on how I did with writing my story. How is it? Also, constructive criticism is welcomed. I did my best not to rush it.
Wow, 5 thumbs up and zero thumbs down? Wow, and I thought someone would hate on my story. Anyway, I call dibs on the title 'First HiE story involving Queen Chrysalis'.
this could very well be the first involving the changling queen, well played my good sir.
It seems a bit rushed and lacking of details. I didn't notice any grammatical errors, though. Also, you could of wrote Josh's explanation to Rainbow Dash. Also, Josh takes in seeing Rainbow Dash a tad too easily. I mean, she's a pegasus. Pegasi aren't real, and he's a brony, so you'd think he would be a bit out of sorts since he's seeing RAINBOW DASH. Most of us here would be a lot more excited, even if our world was being threatened by an evil queen with a gigantic horde of monsters that can look like anypony.
499279 Actually, the amount of surprise and excitement I had in me couldn't possibly be explained with words. Plus, I had a very long explanation, which would have taken a good portion of the page, so I shortened it(long story short thing, y'know?). As for lack of details, yes the second chapter was quite lacking in the detail section. I agree on it being a bit rushed, but the events transpired so quickly, he didn't have time to properly describe everything. However, I thank you for your constructive criticism. What surprised me is that the mods approved it in just over an hour. That might be a record.
499032 Unfortunately.... no. Im tracking one where someone is turned into a changeling and send to equestria.
I don't get that title? Well, mine directly involves her. thejosh even suggested it could be.
I like it.... so are you intending to have a legitimate armies clashing in a major city, or something smaller?
I'm thinking of a major battle, so major city might be the option. I'm not too good at ideas though, so if anyone wants to help me and thus turn this into a collab, by all means let me know.
i can give you some help if you need it. this is going to get good and soon but i think Chrysalis kind of screwed up on this one Earth has probably got 10% of the love that Equstria has. good story so far.
Uh, check the story Feeding the Demons. She really has gotten much more powerful, plus there are thousands of bronies in fanclubs dedicated to her.
Wow, a changeling favorited my story. I guess anything involving his queen will get a favorite from him.
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Changeling approves!
Good to know I'm on a changeling's good side. I honestly do not want to be ruled by Queen Chrysalis. Changeling, tell your queen that if she decides to invade, I'll be waiting.
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" I honestly do not want to be ruled by Queen Chrysalis" you make it sound bad i shell let you know we get weekends off does your leader give you weekends off? and we get a gold star if we are good i bet your leader doesn't give you shiny stars.
Uh, yeah, and there are awards. The highest civilian honor is the Presidential Medal of Freedom, which is a big gold star. No, it doesn't have anything to do with earning freedom - we have that already.
497957 Awesome. More is needed to satisfy hunger for awesome.
499279 Uh, did you see the words "nearly fainted dead away"? That pretty much sums up what you wanted.
Hey guys, what should my new chapter be named? I'm stumped on what to call it.
Let's see where this goes, shall we?
Yeah, but can someone message HalfDeamonSpartan? I need her help on getting my next few chapters out. Though with college work, this will be very difficult.