Immortals have a large amount of time on their hands and when they have access to the multi-verse there is little preventing them from experimenting. After watching the adventures of a certain six in one it uses that one as a base model as it searches for one that parallels it near exactly. Out of curiosity it adds another major element to this universe and sits back to observe just what will happen.
With her soul taken from another universe and thrust into this new one a young filly has to live her life with no memory of her past and thrown into danger. It's only through some agent of luck that she doesn't lose her new life as soon as she arrives and even finds a new family at the same time. As time passes she finds new friends and with them goes on adventures that change all their lives and all to satisfy the curiosity of some unknown creature.
(tentative title name, suggestions welcome)
hmmm...not bad not bad...cant wait to see where this goes.
looking good so far so keep it up!
waits
impatiently for more33,000+ words, 12 ratings, and 63 views? This story seems to be underrated compared to other stories in my eyes.
6231790 You know, that's the second time that I've had one of my stories labeled as underrated. This one makes a bit of sense since part of the theme is a general turn-off for many people. It would help though if I started tossing them into different groups, but I leave that open for others to do as well since there are too many different groups out there to keep track of.
Soooo um a bit of a turn off is the synapse mostly because of all the mistakes. Lol did you even read it.
Ok hi me again I read the first chapter and it is miles better the the synapse. Since I like this fic and want it to continue I would like to give you some advice. If you want more ponies to read this you should put it in group that fits to it and as many as possible. The way I find new fics is I go on my feed every day and look at the new fic that that are added to my favorite groups. Thats how I found yours, in the the human to filly/colt group. At this moment I see only 3 groups on you fic. Add to as many as you can.
hmm... Vanator and Bella Dona.
i'm not sure about Vanator (that's a reference to an RPG or something, right? maybe Final Fantasy?)
But Belladonna? Would her cutie mark look like... this?
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/rwby/images/3/34/Blake_Belladonna_Emblem.svg/revision/latest?cb=20150103071936
fun/useless fact: Speaking of, IRL horses often get ribbons put on to their tails to indicate the.... hazard they might represent. for example
ones with green ribbons are.... inexperienced, maybe a bit jittery or unpredictable.
as another example, ones wearing red ribbons are kickers. and what kind of ribbon does Applejack wear?
mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/sig-3973388.mlfw2669-Smiling_Twist.jpg
6267077 As a side thing to that, which I forget if I mentioned elsewhere or not, I also toyed with the idea of Trixie in her place instead. That would have forced the story to take an entirely different direction for some of the early chapters then, and even Boast Busters would have had a complete overhaul.
6266950 I didn't even even think of RWBY when I made the character, I was more going with the plant that was described for her cutie mark as it ties in with what her job often entails. Also the stallion's name I pulled off of a direct translation from English to Romanian, minus the accent marks.
Huh . maybe Celestia was waiting for Twilight to make that decision and knew that Aegis wouldn't want to go . Or maybe she's just a troll?
Troll.
that last one is a booze joke. orig03.deviantart.net/3a49/f/2012/219/0/4/natg_day_5__tiny_pony___appletini_by_giantmosquito-d5a8ksz.jpg
for 2k words, this chapter felt short and empty
6309174 Yeah, I'm not fully happy with it myself. Some of the episodes it just won't be easy to add the OC that well when it deals with her general area. I mean I could have totally railroaded this chapter and had her solve everything but settled on only preventing the worst of things as well as adding a bit more to what the parasprites could have done. It's already going to be bad enough later on when Daring Do shows up.
Next chapter... Well I'm not fully sure yet where to go with that yet, though some reason my mind wants to put Suited For Success next followed by Fall Weather Friends and Winter Wrap up. I think it's mostly because I have some ideas going with that one and can lead some of it into the Running of the Leaves bit.
Something to think about with the canon Mane 6, are any of them honestly going to lack in the muscles department if you really think about it?
I think that the black guard parents thing works as an explanation for her knowledge. It is established that her parents were experts/watchers of the everfree forest so it makes sense for her to have knowledge relating to it.
6309439 maybe instead of struggling to integrate your OC into an episode such as this one, have her do something else? i highly doubt she is only friends with just the elements is she?
great job, I knew Aegis wouldn't put Rarity through a dress making mess like the others did. Can't wait for your next update.
WOW. 1000 proof? if i'm correct 100% ETHANOL is about 200 proof! Yeesh!
Sir, (and/or ma'am) I have but one thing to say to you...Ha ha, made you scroll over the spoiler! #Trollestia
6359641 Something that shouldn't be possible, but what would the Everfree Forest be without its plethora of impossible things? I figured that I should do something to show off at least one of the things she finds in the Everfree which led into the next bits which just came to mind while writing that part. I got a bit lazy on the last bit though, probably come back and write up some descriptions of the others.
*Squee!*
6360956 Update? This is a really good story....
hope the next chapter highlights this because ive been curious about her capabilities as well >.>
..... Definitely underappreciated.... Not too bad. Keep doing the good work, kind sir.
I'm not really sure about how you just skipped right over that part of the episode... I mean, I get that Flare doesn't really have anything to do there, and it would be awkward and quite possibly boring to fill in what would essentially be her mingling, but
I would have liked to have seen Scootaloo's perspective. We already don't see much of Scootaloo, and it feels like her being Flare's sister is more of a side note.
On another note, Aegis Flare. I don't really agree with her name. I understand what it means, and why you chose it but I'd like to point out that 'Aegis' was the name of a shield with Medusa's face on it, said to be so ugly it struck terror into the enemies' hearts. Not exactly something I'd name my fillies... but that's a minor point, feel free to ignore it.
Overall, a decent rehash of Call of the Cutie
6460197 I could probably have done more there, true. I just don't think I would have been able to add much overall beyond 'Scootaloo finds Sweetie, they hide under table, and then come out to defend Applebloom.' I try to avoid taking too much from the actual episodes unless it is truly important, like Episode 1/2, since it would be bad to do it yet add nothing. There will be a few more Scoot's centered chapters in the future though as there will be significant changes to a couple episodes and I've already left clues about what some of those may be. But yeah Scoots has been more of a side-note but with how Flare's life has been so far it makes a tad bit of sense but there will be some changes now that the trio has gathered.
Also an aegis is more attributed to Zeus and Athena than medusa and is usually represented as a goatskin shield though I guess it was shown with a medusa head in a part of the Iliad. Really there is no common-sense with pony naming schemes anyways since we have ones like Filthy Rich and Tree Hugger.
Minor proofreading quibble:
Tense problems. The bolded "doesn't" should be "didn't" to match the rest of the story's tense. There may be others, but I'm reading on limited time right now.
fuzzy ear tips is this unicorn oc part bat pony ?
also fire magic sweet
To put it another way, Bravery is going into a situation without fear, because you want to do what you believe in. (E.g. Mario, Samus and the Teen Titans.)
Courage means that you might still be afraid, but you work THROUGH that fear, to do what you believe is right (e.g. Luigi, Fluttershy (Dragonshy) and Ron Stoppable.)
Perhaps 'disgorge isn't the proper word. Maybe just saying "the balloon landing nearby, her friends disembarking from it.
Also, I think you might mean Clamber?
Also,
Touch the rainbow! Taste the rainbow!
6518984 Hmm, yeah that sounds much better, though disgorge is a word that is so rarely used now. Also that other one was a typo of hitting r instead of d.
6518920 Have to be very careful with Bravery though as there is a fine line between it and stupidity. It's brave to dive over a cliff to save someone, but stupid to do so while not knowing how to fly.
Aside from the immortal somehow not having planned where to put the new chess piece(seems very unrealistic if it already went to so much trouble), I liked this intro and will continue reading to see where it goes.
So we have a pegasus that might not be able to fly and a unicorn that can't learn spells. They already have so much in common.
She probably should have warned the guard not to send in guards after her into the forest.
Damn, I caught up to the end of the story. It's pretty entertaining, keep up the good work.
you said "at least" twice.
what is a downvote i see nothing like that here just a story im looking forward to reading
nice very very nice
Why is applejack and rarity filly!? Brain hurt me
Why is it always kite-shaped shields?
6807590 Actually kite shields aren't as common as you'd think. More often than not the shields you will see are heater shields. In this case though I use that one as, when added to the ring of fire, it makes it look kind of like an eye.
Why does the name Bella Donna sound familiar?
6807603
I just meant that first it was Shining Armor, then Nyx, and now Aegis Flash. Not that there's anything wrong with it, I only noticed I'd seen a few kite-shield cutie-marks.
6810922 Ahh, well those first two are actually closer to heater shields when going by the generic pictures I used for the kite shield.
forums.riftgame.com/attachments/suggestions/15817d1384978031-shield-types-shield_shapes.jpg
The kite shield is often thinner but ends up much taller as well. I think some are also held differently too where it looks like it is being held sideways when compared to the heater shield.
6811713
Oh, I see it now. I didn't actually think to check before.
Oh Diiiiiiiissssssscoooordddd
Response to author's note:
Scrunches up face then boops back
Remember don't go anywhere without your towel. Its a dangerous galaxy after all.
i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/1929153865/2014-New-Fashion-Hitchhiker-s-font-b-Guide-b-font-Don-t-Panic-and-Carry-a.jpg