A human suddenly found himself as an Earth Pony in the fictional land of Equestria. Unfortunately, Equestria didn't look the same as in the show. Regardless, it was still a little girl's show, so returning home shouldn't be a problem. Now if only he knew where the cliché ponies were located in this version of Equestria. You know, the ones who could help him get back home?
Special thanks to mix-up for drawing the cover art. :3 You can check his deviantart page as well for more of his art works~
Chapters (65)
Not a bad start!
A somewhat unique hook , and you seem fairly self aware, plus its not terribly written too which is a big plus.
They sleep on the ground and eat grass? You don't mention cutie marks, and if that pony hadn't mentioned the "winged ones" I would have almost pegged him for just turning into a regular pony in some random field.
As it is I'd guess he's way back in ye-olden times.
Interesting beginning. Different from how the other fics where a human ends up in Equestria and then gets turned into a pony. Not bad at all so far.
You have my curiosity, let's see if you can keep my attention.
Oooo! Going for a non-cliche HiE story! Watching this.
Huh. Winged Ones, Harvest, A Pinkie look alike? This seems to be set around the Hearthswarming Story time.
Either way, it looks promising. No errors or flaws leap out at me, and Oblivistallion is pretty funny.
The protagonist seems kinda... dumb.
Well, I guess that other horse was pretty dense too, so I guess he's just acting dumb because of his new horse brain.
I'm getting a vibe of Hearth Warming Eve. Which would be a first as far as I have read, in terms of HiE. This could end up being absolutely horrible, of course, considering that was a time of strife and supernatural blizzards. I'm curious now.
Well, okay, I was wrong. Now I'm really curious. Darn...
Hmmmmmmmm......
6046098 It's like you're wrong and right at the same time... we're... ring! Wait, no that's stupid... Wright!... I'm horrible at this.
6046116 Well, I was amused, so count that as a victory if you want.
Certainly interesting, by all means, do continue.
I like this. A lot. As far as I know, nothing like this has quite been done before, so that adds largely to the appeal. Can't wait for more!
Well, this looks as if never have been eny windigos, and everything stayed the same, oh well, still it has a lotof potential and as mention befaore, this is original, I'm following.
First Chapter: oh this is interesting
Second Chapter: Actively Watching Story
This is an interesting retake of HiC, I am a bit tierd of seeing th former human eminently hooking-up immediately whit the mane six, not that I am complaining about the ones that are already out there but, I would like to see them start somewhere els and alone for a time more often than in Ponyville or Caterlot. This story is progressing in my opinion.
To be honest i don´t pay attention to it in every fanfiction, but he is able to walk without practise. The next second i see the sentence, where the stroy tries to explain why he can walk, so never mind i guess.
The story itself seems to be interessting, or at least nice to read, while the other Stallion (he/she did you mixed that up a few times?), doesn´t seems to be a clever guy.
Is this Equestria befor the things witht the indigos happened? No that can´t be, Pinkie is there.....alternate universe? (take a look), yes that is it.
I don´t know which tags aren´t compatible, but i hope this story has romance elements as well.
While i don´t mind if the romance isn´t the most important part, i somehow think it is more real, if there are at least two or more ponys, that like each other, don´t really matter how often they get a personal moment for themself.
I don´t want to change the story from adventure to something else, but i would like it if there is still a slow paced romance in the story.
If you should add romance to the story, then i hope that his special somepony isn´t choosed the moment the story is near its end, i would like to actually see the romance after they are together too.
I hope for many chapters, or a sequel in the future, because if the story continues the way it is right now, then it seems rather promising.
I like the story.
I like the stories that you can't tack all the information of the show for granted or that it reveals that you only have an incomplete image of what it rely like being in Equestria. I wander if Flutershy prefer to stay with the earth pony or stay on the ground or she is a cripple that can't fly.
6066994 i think i like it to, that the show isn´t law here, or that it doesn´t rule the fanfiction.
I mean i enjoy those storys too, but it is really interessting to have this situation.
I don´t know why i started to think that every story should have at least a small part of a romance in it, even if it doesn´t take the most attention, but i want to ask if it would be possible, i don´t remember which tags aren´t able to combine.
I guess for now it would be enough, if there would be someone, that starts to like him a bit, somehow that they are like wild ponys, makes it even more necessary for me, i get the feeling that these Ponys maybe are more focused on basic stuff, like eating, getting a Stallion, familly, and mosty stuff like that.
moar plz
tbh this story deserves a lot more love than it's getting right now. very unique. i think this is the first fic that's done this kind of alternate universe, unless i just haven't found and read one that does. cudos to you m88 (matey eight)
Not bad.
Ponyville sans Ponyville. That's an interesting idea. I like how you have the ponies creatively solving their um, needs in this world, though the way the protagonist comments on it I have to wince at how picky they sound. So don't eat the roots, problem solved! Sheep are the only things that graze like that anyway, thus why shepherds were devastating to the ecology in the middle east. Horses generally cut the blades off pretty high, so it doesn't kill the grass. And you have a nose, don't you? Why would you even be worried about eating grass with pee on it?
now if you will excuse me I'm going to go hunt a bowl of freeze dried kibble
Lolz
Great Chapter, I like how you manage to pone the Earth pony on a more even pedestal to the others races, and I especially like that you show the main character a more child like naiveté to his attitude. At least he doesn't seem to over analyze the situation and take it just for what it is. It is refreshing.
6093668 Forgive me if I sound rude or something, but English isn't really my first language, and whenever I see a new word, I tend to look at Google and see what it means, and, well, uh, maybe I should ask you directly, but what does [pone] mean? Google says its some sort of bread.
6094558
Pone is Brony-speak for pony, usually in slang. But his sentence doesn't really make any sense. I think they meant "I like how you manage to put the Earth pony on a more even pedestal with the other races, "
Your English is very good by the way; I wouldn't have been able to tell from your writing english isn't your first language.
Uhm.....White horse? that...a weird name. Jay name is better.
I mean... i call my friend is Yo Jay-Jay.
I hope at least he can make some friends with every race, i can understand the new situation here, but it is still mean how easy Applejack makes it for herself, but i get the feeling some of the ponys are very simple minded.
I start to think, that most of them are not very intelligent, as if they would be some of the first ponys on earth, i think you now what i mean, the main Char is probably the most intelligent Pony till now.
6094558
This made me laugh
Not very much harmony going on here!
You know what these ponies need?
What they need more desperately than anything else?
They need...
An organizer.
Sort of a day's of future past thing here. Liking it so far, stumbled on it on accident, but I do like it!
Reading on...
(Reading).
"Applejack is Best pony..."
thumbs up story.
"Applejack is no longer best pony..."
thumbs down story.
"She calls me a sugar cube! Applejack is best pony!".
thumbs back up!
Just make a cake for pony. it like they don't know how to make one.
I wonder...don't tell me....They don't know how to make...'FIRE?'
The main character makes me want to go up to his face and scream at the top of my lung "Use your head stupid!" and "This is not the Equestria you know!" and "Same rule don't exactly apply!" and "You see they don't have their flank mark? That means they are not in harmony and that means you won't get home until the situation is fixed!" then bonk him on the head.
I wonder what kind of defenses the bleep ponies have. Will he be able to walk right into where ever it is they live like he did with the earth ponies? It doesn't seem likely to me but you never know.
It is funny, and weird at the same time, it is like a large group on a little place, and suddenly some starts....how does Pinkie say it every time?, do the dirty dance?
That makes them look a little bit more like animals.
Woohoo! New chapter!
This has a journey to Oz feel to it too! I hope Pinkie, Dash, and best pony come too
Gosh, the main character is like the opposite of genre savvy.
Pinkie's like "unicorns mercilessly attack earth ponies without provocation not allowing for any trade, negotiations or other forms of introduction and/or frantic begging."
And he's all, "No it'll totally be different, because I'm the main character."
Thanks for the shout-out about roots, but... well don't feel obliged to do that for me. I can nitpick, and still enjoy something. Mm... nits...
6134996 It's alright. I'm two or three chapters ahead anyway, so I can add little more tidbits from commenters no problem. :3
The progression of the story is great. It's both sweet and simple, but the way that you express well how Jay feel in that situation make it sound like that a lot can append at any moment . It is interesting to see that the deer freely admit that she will ditch him at the where danger appearing.
Well, I think I'm going to have to ship Jay and Sienna.
You live another day.
Fun chapter , onwards to adventure! I'm sure nothing will go wrong.
Nice, normally the main Char would have no real reply to that little situation.
6136790
Since he doesn´t care if she comes with him, i think she is clever enough, not to risk to die.
Nice joke, with German words it would not work, but in english it is probably a really clever joke/wordplay......then again, the translator doesn´t really show the word i expected to see, so is it a worldplay?
Deer! Awesome!
I didn't know lynxes hunted deer. Says here that their main prey is hares, but a big male can take down somewhere around 4 deer a month. I guess pound for pound lynxes must be a step up in size from bobcats, because bobcats almost never manage to kill deer.
Hmmm. Seeing as how animals, sentient or not, apparently only think of the basics of life (No houses or anything outside of nature), I guess it's safe to assume that Jay is the most innovative being on the planet?
New chapter and story even got featured!
They are soooo technologically behind. Plus, he's putting all his hopes on Twilight which is a stupid idea because while Pinkie and Applejack were somewhat like themselves, they weren't fully there. Maybe that means that Twilight will be a scientific (insert curse word of choice here), right? Also, what you have so far is good.
Actually making a fire would be a great way to keep predators away, and is a big psychological comfort more than actuary keeping warm for lost travelers at night, all do thats still a big help. as for fire hazard, you jest need to dig a hole before making it and put stones around it to keep the flames from spreading. As for the unicorns, I think at Jay may have more difficulty to get to twilight he mite think, and maybe not in the same way than with the other earth ponies. I think that maybe one or more of the ponies that had made the delivery did something to pis-off the unicorns and they reconsecrated the gesture to the rest of the caravan. For what I have seen in this story so far, the animal have a very pore sense of foresight and always live in the moment of theirs feelings and it is easily create a mobs/herd mentality. I think Jay may be able to enter the Unicorn pasture, provided that he doesn't do anything indecent, simply because they have forgotten about the last quarrel. I think, Jay's biggest problem will be shining armor. In the show, as well as being Tight bbfff, he is also a leader and enforcer of Equestria and I believe it is the same for that world. I think, that he tries to protect his inquisitive little sister the best way he can, and will probably see Jay a a threat in some way, and will do his beast to keep him away from her. As for twilight I thing she may have lived a very shelters life up until now and is probably as socially awkward as in the beginning of the show and will be more receptive to help Jay if it is just to learn every thing she can from him.
And Great chapter by the way
6152203 To be honest i think Twilight don´t know anything either, and he maybe has to discover something that helps this world, or anything that is supposed to happen.