"That was the last straw! I had it with Twilight Sparkle--excuse me--Princess Twilight Sparkle, trying to come into my life! I had it with her stupid attempts to try and rekindle whatever friendship that I thought we had. I had it with her!" What was Moon Dancer going through at the party? Why did Twilight leaving hurt her so much?
NOTE: Not a shipfic!
This is my first fimfiction. I hope I do you guys proud. Feel free to tell me how I can improve the story, but keep your comments PG, or I will delete them.
Chapters (1)
This, actually echoes my own views on Moondancer's character. Not only the conflict presented, but how she dealt with it. Moondancer strikes me as a pony who doesn't understand how to deal with her own emotions. Twilight's actions hurt her so much that she just shut down, making it so that she'd never have to face that pain again. Instead of talking to somepony about these feelings, she hid them within herself until Twilight's attempts at making it up to her just caused them to boil over.
I don't know if you're like that yourself; I don't know you personally. But regardless, this is a very accurate portrayal of Moondancer, and the fact that you can relate to her just makes the story that much stronger. What's more, it doesn't feel like you're actively trying to insert yourself into Moondancer's position, which is a fallacy most authors commit when they find they can relate to a character's struggles. The thought process Moondancer went through felt incredibly natural, flowed very nicely, and fit seamlessly with the canon of the scene.
All in all, a masterful piece of work. And I hope that one day, you can forgive your former friend just as Moondancer forgave Twilight. I wish you well, dear author. L'chaim.
I loved it so much! If this is one of ur first stories then ur a real natural. It was perfect the way that you displayed MoonDancer's character was spot on. 10/10 my friend keep up the good work
6174893
6174864
Thank you so much for the complements.
Very good story. I love how you did the first person narration for Moon Dancer. Moon Dancer is a great character that has a lot of clay to work with (clay meaning there is a lot more the show can do to her character.)
Just so you know, you got a follower out of me because of this story and how well it was writen (AND DAMNIT, BECAUSE MOON DANCER IS GREAT!)
The only problem I have (and it is not with your story) is that fimfiction has not updated the character roster yet... The only character that they have added from this season is Starlight. Where is Trouble Shoes? Party Favor? The Smooze? OR MOON DANCER?!?!!?? Not many stories that feature Moon Dancer are getting the recignition they should get over other stories. My own story about Moon Dancer is suffering because of the lack that there is no Moon Dancer in the character roster.
Anyways, aside from my rant, great story. Keep writing. Can't wait for the next story. :D
Very good story about Moon Dancer. This is how I view Moon Dancer too and it's sad to hear you went through the same as Moon Dancer.
There is now a Moondancer tag