Human Rituals
Bowing
(1 Year, 1 Month Since Arrival)
“It’s not like I’m afraid of her or anything,” I said, checking my face in the mirror and ducking my head out of my little bathroom. With formal dress thanks to Rarity, I was slated to meet Princess Luna on one of her visits to Ponyville. Apparently the night time Princess favored this town and visited Twilight often. “It’s just… when I met Celestia the first thing I did was rub her face and ears. It’s going to be awkward!”
“Well,” Twilight smiled carefully. “You’ll just have to make a good first impression with Luna, then, and maybe that’ll balance things out a little.”
“Right. ‘Sorry I grabbed your sister’s face when I first met her. No hard feelings, right?’” I rolled my eyes, checking my cuffs.
“Just make sure your bows are informal, and treat her like you would anypony else,” Twilight smiled. “The Winter Solstice has already passed, so Luna’s taking a few days to tour the surrounding counties that border Canterlot’s immediate vicinity. Ponyville’s her first stop, and she’s already said she wants to meet you.”
“You’ve been writing more of those letters, haven’t you?” I said. “And what the heck is an informal bow?” I stared at her.
“You know,” Twilight paused, sank her head while she bent her front knees, flourished her horn lightly and stood again. I stared at her. “Oh right, two legs,” she mumbled behind a hoof. “How do human’s bow to their Princesses, then?”
“My country doesn’t have a Princess, but my ancestors did,” I said, touching my chin thoughtfully. “But that was hundreds of years ago.”
“Well NOT bowing to a Princess when she enters your presence is considered very rude,” Twilight said. “You live with me so we overlook it, but Luna might be a little less… nice, if you don’t even try,” she coached me to bend at the waist.
“Well there’s three I know of, which does she prefer?” I wanted to know.
“Three human bows?”
“Yah,” I said.
Quill and paper appeared before I could blink at the pop of magic. Twilight smiled wide. That stupid, ‘oh yay learning’ smile I’d come to roll my eyes at many times. I looked down at Spike, who shrugged. I glanced at the clock. The Princess of the Night wasn’t supposed to arrive for another half hour or so.
“Alright, just real quick,” I said. Twilight tippy-tapped her hooves, bouncing up and down. Spike told me he’d come to call it the ‘I have to pee I’m so excited’ dance. Twilight had already devoted a small study room to ‘human studies’ since I was only going to be here for a few years. I say only like five years isn’t a long time. But every little bit helped, I supposed. “There’s three main ones, and it all has to do with what you do with your arms and legs.”
“Okay?” Twilight said. Her viciously scratching quill told me she was drawing torsos of me without the arms and legs on.
“The formal bow,” I bent at the waist with my hands pressed to my hips. “The warrior’s bow,” I made a fist, touched the opposite shoulder, and bent forward slightly. “And the king’s bow,” I sat on my legs and bent all the way forward until my arms were over my head, flat on the ground. Then I hopped up and dusted my Rarity-made dress clothes off. “End of lesson.” I said. Spike gave me a thumbs-up for brevity, but Twilight wasn’t having it.
“Why’d you only bend slightly for the warrior’s bow?” she demanded, wide-eyed.
“Soldiers might be in armor. Armor pinches, and doesn’t allow for lots of bending motions,” I said shortly.
“Why’d you hold your hips for the formal bow?”
“Formality is stiff. So is that style of bending forward. It’s for someone of great authority.”
“Why-!”
“It’s like talking to a nine year-old. Why why why…” I grumbled.
“I AM nine years old!” Twilight said with a loud, horsey snort.
“Oh right, pony years…” I’d long since forgotten that ponies matured to adulthood in a mere three years. I’d long since given up translating calendars, season lengths, and so on. I was only thankful their days were twenty-four hours long. The number of days had given me the five-years-till-going-home bit.
Spike chuckled, but turned quickly on the sound of announcement trumpets. “Sounds like she’s here!” He fell in line next to Twilight and I did the same.
The double-doors opened and a long trio of shadows laid down the carpet. Two guards, and there she was. Twilight had shown me pictures, but the ethereal mane certainly made it feel way more real. “Greetings, your majesty,” I bowed from the waist. Hooves reached and, “OWWCH!” I shrieked. “My ears!” The were red with pain, I could feel my pulse in them.
“Greetings, hyoo-man Neig-g-gh!” Luna said bombastically, leaning forward and presenting the top of her head. Not knowing what else to do, I patted her head. Spike facepalmed. “You do not wish to pull my ears?” she said, looking rather hurt.
“Er…” I stared at her.
“My sister tells me this is how you greeted her when you arrived in our world. Do not hold back, I understand there are cultural differences!” She smiled, showing me the top of her head again. “Tis insensitive to not embrace cultural differences.”
“Erm… okay,” Reaching and putting the pads of my thumbs inside her ears, I rubbed a few times and gave a light tug or two. Twilight facehoof’d as well. But you’ll notice not a one of us argued.
=-=-=-=
Luna was a pleasant enough pony to be around, and thankfully wasn’t there to see me exclusively. Spike and I hung out in my room for a while, enjoying the falling snow outside “That could’ve gone worse,” I said with a slight smirk.
“Prolly so, yeah,” Spike grinned. “I’m just glad you don’t do that all the time. Your ears were super-red!” I rolled my eyes and moved my game piece after the roll of the dice. I had to wait, turning over the card and letting Twilight’s translator band rearrange the letters for me: ‘Your Weather Team is Late By a Day, Go Back 3 Spaces to Make Up The Shifts!’
“What’s the point of this game again…?” I asked, looking at all the complicated shapes and pieces.
“To start five weather factories before I start five farms. C’mon, everypony’s played Settlers of Equestria!” Spike said, giving me the rulebook.
“Maybe I should’a played as the unicorns…” I flipped a few of the pages.
“And start five observatories? Meh!” Spike said.
The door to my room came open, and Twilight and Luna stood there. Both of us stood and I gave my best to bow without putting my ears in Luna’s reach. “It was nice to meet you, your highness,” I said as politely as I could.
“And you as well, Neigh-h-h. Thank you for allowing Twilight and I time to visit and ‘see the sights’, as it were,” The dark alicorn smiled genuinely. “Perhaps you’ll be seeing me in your dreams, soon.”
“Er…” I stared at her. “Th-thanks, but no thanks.” I said as politely as I could. “I have a fiancé back home.” I unfolded my wallet to show her the picture. “Her name is Briana,” Luna looked at the picture, then at me, then blinked a few times. Twilight’s bracelet grumbled, unable to translate a name with no context lexicon. There was a long silence. The princess stared at me confused, and I stared back, flattered but not biting. Was she not used to being turned down?
Twilight leaned and stage-whispered, “Princess Luna guards ponies dreams! Protects others from nightmares!”
“Be… cause of course she does!” I said, quickly putting the picture away and feeling like an ass. “That’s what you meant!” Wonderful, a pony princess that could see inside my head while I was sleeping. That wasn’t a terrifying idea or anything. A man’s head is his last sanctuary, after all.
“I did not mean to send the wrong message,” Luna chuckled, having the decency to blush a little. “Yours is a strange kind, hyoo-man!” She laughed behind a hoof. Spike looked up at me sympathetically, trying not to smile. “I look forward to reading Twilight’s reports when they’re done.”
=-=-=-=
“She was shorter than I thought she’d be,” was the only thing I could think to say when Luna was gone.
“She’s the younger sister,” Spike said helpfully.
“By how much?” I heard myself ask.
“Dunno.” The dragon shrugged. I put him on my shoulder so he wouldn’t have to walk through the snow that was chest-high for him.
“Your world is weird, Spike,” I finally decided.
“Yep,” he sighed.
I always like it when a story does that. It really makes so much more sense than the alternative option of having the cast be a bunch of 70 year olds who act like half-grown grade schoolers that some people insist on.
6778451
It says human traditions, not American traditions. It'd be nice if it kept the focus on stuff that's at least a little more universal than that.
Well that was amusing.
6778601 Where did you get those 70 year olds? Most of fanfics, as well as official canon (except EG) puts them at 20-23 years old.
6778637
There are a few stories that make the average pony's lifespan out to be something like 300 years or so. I always think that's just vaguely silly, considering how immature and childish the characters are a lot of the time. Know what I mean?
6778638 Well, if you think about it, the hundreds of years life span fits, and here's why: In Winter Wrap Up, Twilight said that Ponyville ponies have been wrapping up winter the Earth Pony way for hundreds of years. In Family Appreciation Day, Granny Smith was about Applejack's age when her family founded Ponyville, which, combined with Winter Wrap Up, puts Granny Smith at hundreds of years old in the present. In Party Pooped, Pinkie has parties planned for her family's 50th, 100th, and 500th anniversaries. Any one of these, on their own, is a gag. Two out of three together is a coincidence. All three together is world building.
6778685 I would rather vote for shorter years.
6778685
I disagree and still think the idea is silly, for a number of reasons that I'm sure nobody here really wants to hear all that much.
6778731
Definitely. The ponies having incredibly long life spans just irks me as I feel like their population should be pushing the boundaries of sustainability if that were the case. Like, human population has been skyrocketing in just the last two-hundred-so years as lifespans increased due to improved medical science and hygiene, so a country over two-thousand years old and a population with a life expectancy more than three times our own should have a massive population.
6778685
Maybe that could be the case if the show writers put more than 'meh' level effort into consistency. With how often they just straight-up ignore previous episodes in lieu of new ones, I feel very little faith can be put into throw-away lines. Winter Wrap Up's Twi-line and Granny's history for instance was probably just a case of the writers of the two different episodes not collaborating properly.
The Pinkie one is also not reliable as pretty much any line from Pinkie can hardly be taken seriously as she sits on the fence separating stupid and crazy. She's just cra-stupid enough to plan for a party 500 years in advance because she either doesn't understand mortality or thinks that even though the odds of them living that long are astronomically low, it's still worth preparing for just in case the miraculous happens.
P.S.
I'd say what you presented is only two examples, not three, since the first two only work in conjunction with each other. Without the Winter Wrap Up dialogue for instance, it would be safe to assume the Ponyville is only, like, around a hundred years old.
P.P.S.
The author might want to look at how much time has transpired since the first appearance of a CMC character canonly since they think it only takes a pony three years to mature. That would put Them at like, one years old at the start and nearly adults by the end. We know that at least one year has passed after all since they had their second winter already, so the CMC would at least be teenagers now.
6778844 Well many stories have low birth rates. But honestly, you shouldn't stress over it, it's a fantasy setting.
There's the bow of going on one knee and bending the waist and hand to chest... Or is that not a real bow? Or is that a Japanese thing?
Sorry, I'm not buying it.
Awkward.
6778931
That's kneeling, which is technically a completely different kind of gesture and has its own etiquette.
6778870
Dude, at such extreme numbers, the birth rate would have to be unbelievably low to curb population growth. Global birth rate on our world has been sitting around 20 for close to the last decade, meaning yearly that for every 1000 people on the planet, 20 new humans were born.
For Equestria's population to have stayed so steady with these ages, the birth rate would have to be a a decimal. It would be like, 0.1 or something so a foal would only be born every few years. Since Cheerilee's class or the flight camps are obviously much larger than one or two foals, I think it's safe to assume this is not the case.
I know it's fantasy, I just hate when people then try to throw scientific aspects into their stories with no forethought into all implications. Suddenly stating something like ponies ages being extremely small or large constitutes a scientific declaration, and thus now requires full explanation. If you don't have the capability to do this, than don't make the statement. It's not as if it were integral to the story in this case or in any, so why even bother raising the controversy?
6761604 The funny thing is that you'll actually have a tough time finding a Canadian who gives a rat's ass about the queen of England.
6778638
Well... it could be a form of neoteny, which would make sense, since they're ponies, not horses.
6778941
I honestly thought he knew what Luna meant, but was saying he didn't want her visiting his dreams because he had a fiance he hadn't been able to bone in a long time, hence his subconscious would be working out the sexual frustration in his dreams and that he wouldn't want Luna seeing him go to pound-town on his dream girl.
6779002
Sez you! Long live Her Majesty!
Don't forget to make ridiculous demands when trading resources.
I believe he is hinting that their years are like 600 days long or something.
6778943 ah alrighty, thanks for clearing that up. Never thought of it like that.
49.media.tumblr.com/02fea1c08a206579a1b656d156c3902b/tumblr_nc4e1vCf2j1qhtp3wo7_500.gif
Good thing Luna wasn't impaled by an arrow against a tree. That would have been awkward.
One nitpick.
The reason why humans are so intelligent (and how sapience is possible) is that the long years it takes for humans to mature is what gives us the advantage of having advanced brain development. Most species who share this (elephants and chimpanzees, for example) take almost as long. It has been proven elephants are keenly intelligent. They and chimps can and do use tools. Perhaps the lone exception that would give weight to the quick growth + intelligence would be if one were to look to the dolphins and whales as an example.
Very neat chapter! Too short.
Sorry...that was the second nitpick.
6778601 -> forty kek
I'm a little surprised that in a story about retaining the customs of his homeland, no mention is made of how deeply improper it is considered for an American to bow before a foreign sovereign. I actually thought that would be the core conflict of the chapter.
While the rule is not strictly enforced or anything, an American who bows before any leader is looked down upon.
There is a reason it was considered a major scandal and cultural embarrassment when Barack Obama started bowing to foreign leaders.
(That said, many Americans will make the concession of a deep nod, or dip. A full bow is very improper. There is an exception in that it can be overlooked if meeting a member of a culture that bows in greeting, as long as both parties bow to the same degree, and the American doesn't bow lower than whoever they are greeting.)
Edit: I'm not saying he shouldn't do it, purely as a matter of practicality while stuck in their lands, only that the fact he is not supposed to as part of his cultural traditions should come up while they are discussing it.
I agree currently they are 21 years old, except fluttershy, she is 22
6779227
What about octopi and crows? Crows specifically are much more intelligent than elephants, and arguably even on the same level as chimps.
There's even a species of spider capable of designing a new trap specially tailored to every individual prey species, even one it hasn't seen before.
eh, i would consider the mane cast closer to 16, based on the mirror-realm. some human cultures have adulthood at an earlier age, its just a question of culture. younger adulthood makes more sense in a pre-industrial society.
Why’d you only bend slightly for the warrior’s bow?” she demanded, wide-eyed.
“Soldiers might be in armor. Armor pinches, and doesn’t allow for lots of bending motions,” I said shortly.
Huh. Interesting. I always thought it was because, while they wished to show respect, it was to keep a potential danger in view while doing so.
Learn something new.
In East-North Asia(not sure of Japan), bowing usually means bowing to the ground. Once for elder, twice for the ancestor or the deads , three times for king or emperor. the more respect, the more but usually not over 3 times because that means the person is being bowed is higher than the king/emperor, which is kinda rude. Also dont bow twice for person alive.
6779002 The Queen of Canada, on the other hand, is a pretty spiffy lady. (The two titles are actually distinct from each other, they're just held by the same person. Sort of like if Miss America became the President of the United States, she'd still be Miss America too.)
6779227
Something to add on to that: human brains are fully developed at age 5.
6779730
*25
6779806
Yeah, not quite so much.
I mean, it does continue to change until around 20, but it's fully functional by age 5.
6778844 While I am very much with you on the failures of the writers in maintaining continuity (to the point that I consider everything from season 4 onward optional because it is too much of a mess to resolve) and agree that the numbers in this chapter are silly, I do have an issue with this argument I want to bring up.
This argument is fundamentally flawed because the unit of time that is relevant when talking about population growth is generations, not years. This means that if ponies have much longer lifespans than humans, their population will grow much more slowly because their generations will be longer. In terrestrial terms, this is most clearly illustrated in the reverse by looking at rabbits which can easily undergo explosive population growth in comparison to humans thanks to their short (approximately three years in the wild) lifespan. Rabbit generations are extremely short in comparison to humans so the same population growth rate in terms of generations will result it a much higher population growth rate in terms of years for rabbits than humans. Thus a longer lifespan would mean that the pony population would grow more slowly than the human population in proportion to the difference in lifespan (generation length is roughly proportional to lifespan in most species).
6779112 That's because he's wrong. What you described sounds like it is either a rough recollection of the traditional European "bow and scrape" which drags a foot back but does not place a knee on the ground or genuflection which goes to one knee but does not necessarily have the arm across the waist. That said, if you are not sure you can always look at the Wikipedia article on bowing and related links to try to figure out what you were thinking of because Wikipedia is a wonderful resource for these kinds of questions.
6779899 The bow I described I saw watching anime honestly. Usually by a servant or underling character. I'll take a look at that wiki, thanks dude.
6779961 Happy to help.
WAit if she's only nine years old does that mean ponies have a much shorter lifespan then humans?
6780312
Ponies can live for 25-40 years, and have a much shorter childhood than humans. Humans have an unusually long lifespan compared to most mammals our size (and animals in general), and have the longest childhood of any animal.
6779834 Define, "fully functional."
Actually, go, find a classroom full of first graders. Spend some time with them. Talk to them. Play with them. Then come back and tell me their brains are fully developed with a straight face.
6780476
Being ignorant of cultural mores doesn't make you mentally deficient.
I really like this story, but i'll never be able to wrap my head around that 9 and 3 years thing.
6780588 That is not what I meant. At 5 years old, a child still has poor impulse control, has difficulty making decisions, isn't able to fully grasp the idea that their consequences have actions, and doesn't yet understand empathy. Don't even get me started on motor skills... but their little bodies are still growing, so it's understandable that they don't yet truly know where their limits are. In science-speak, the prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed.
It's a perfectly normal part of child development; this is just how children are. We can't hold them to the same standards as adults, because guess what, they're not adults yet. Five-year-olds are children, with child bodies and child brains.
Alright, I've always liked Luna, but I love her when she's being confused by traditions, both those that have changed since she's been gone, and those from other cultures. She's too loud and up front to actually ask if she understood them correctly.
6780830
The only thing there that's caused by an undeveloped brain is the empathy thing; and even that's debatable.
6778982 The author probably did it because it's his/her head cannon and didn't think people would get bent out of shape over something as unimportant as the age of a fantastical race.
Also it's magic, science can go jump in a river.
6770666
Ah. I'm guessing you're lucky enough to never have had to get a low wage job.
Oh that was great
Misunderstandings are the best if they're funny.
6781063
No, actually. Recent research indicates that at least part of it is because of the immature state of their frontal lobe, which plays an important role in risk assessment, long-term planning and emotional self-restraint. People with a damaged frontal lobe will sometimes start behaving a lot like a child, emotionally - a shortened attention span, no real mental filter and a preference for immediate gratification over long-term gain. Some of it is socialization, but not all of it.
You should discuss human grooming habits. Shaveing, cutting finger and toe nails, also might want to talk about adapting to tiny bathrooms.