- Member Since 25th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen 30 minutes ago
Reykan
Want to know how far someone can get writing fan-fictions without watching the show? Lets find out together!
Reykan
Joined 25th Oct, 2014 ·
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Oh, hey I just noticed you changed you avatar.
Also, noooo another story, while we wait for so many other!!!!!!! Now I need to read it. After school. Curse school.
Other than the rough transitions between POV's it was a good story. You did pretty good.
Poor Chryssie...
But Shining is showing some serious moral compass there.
7077388 just haven't been in the mood for Substitute. If I try to force myself to write on it, bad things happen.
Celestia would give you a hooves up.
At least Chryssie is better.
I always found Chrynidance to be really fun.
Wow... That was really nice. Clop with actual plot. Reading the previous story, I never thought It'd result in this.
The pov worked fine in my opinion. And it's nice to see them helping each other. I simply love Chrynidance and happy endings for our cheese-legged Queenie.
7079063 Tone is a bit hard to convey in writing, but worry not respected author! I was speaking merely in jest!
Also, I'm reading Substitute from start again, to have something to bide my time, no worries on it. Don't take your fans too seriously, or you might end up like poor Bucking (Doubly true for me, even I don't take myself seriously). I don't really want to see another favourite author push themselves too hard.
Also found a few things you can use to slap Cim in the face, but that is literally another story :D
On a more serious note, I think this one is pretty good. Not sure if winning piece, but certainly is a good contender for the contest.
Also, "nowhere" is one word.
7079183 most of my M-rated stories are pretty plot-heavy(Cost of Asylum in both definitions). I'm just not a fan of sex for the sake of sex. There has to be a reason for he individuals to come together.
7079187 My skins a bit thicker than that. I'm not worried about comments and I won't take offense that easily. I enjoy them, but my trick is to take in the comment, roll it around in my head to see if it's sensible, then move on. Some comments have made me switch my focus in sub, but it's rare.
As for the contest, maybe I'll win the white badge? After all, I work hard for my money.
This line delighted me.
Celestia was remiss in the breadth of your education, Cadance...
I always like to see stories where Shiny, Cadance, and Chrysalis work things out, and this one was very sweet.
Celestia: He licked you? Oh that's cute. Come let me show you my "book".
- 3 hours later-
Celestia: Oh come on stop throwing up. This stuff is tame compared to Lunas.
Luna: And mine is tame compared to your sister in law. The things she wants to do to your husband are quite disturbing.
This is a pretty good story. Nothing really sticks out as needing much work, although personally I would have liked the actual sex scenes to be a little longer and more detailed. There's also potential here for more: such as coming to term with the new relationship dynamics, and the side-story about the two nobles who wished to be in the princess's herd.
7080203 I've heard Cadance referred to by this title repeatedly in different changeling fics, so I wanted to use it myself.
7080296 I seem to remember something from Woundsalt where a nice orphanage lady turned out to be absolutely diabolical in the bedroom...something about a tuba? it never went into details. Anyway, I can see Cadance getting teased for the heart on her butt and an affinity for 'love magic', maybe propositioned one too many times so she becomes a total prude who's scared of being treated like a hooker again.
7080358 This was, as it's said, done for Ocalhoun's contest. If I did continue this, the reaction of the Crystal nobles would be one of the first things i'd make fun of. The next would be Twilight freaking out, while Celestia and Luna just congratulate the three of them for working it out, maybe have Luna suggest a book that has some good three-pony positions.
I have read this three times now. It is okay, but I keep focusing on the one thing I hate about it... The Complete tag.
In all seriousness, this story is as good as, if not better than, the original.
7099952 As it's for a contest, I am unable to edit it in any way shape or form after the due date. Hence the complete tag,
SEQUEL! More threesomes and love the threeway, one of my many favored ships.
Really like it, needs a sequel
Please continue this series, there are FAR too few CadyxShiningxChryssie fics out there, and this is very well written, plus I like the story premise, well done.
Even though it is a contest story, I really would enjoy a sequel or some such other continuation. Hope you do/did well.
Honora Imperator
7080203
I as well, I found it hilarious.
I liked this one's story, and it's a pretty good continuation of the original. I think maybe the first chapter could use some little hint of explicit sexual content, just so readers beginning the story know what they're getting into. It could definitely use some line editing, though. Comma placement, typos, really weird inconsistent paragraph spacing... a lot of little, easy-to-fix problems that brought this story down significantly. Still, the 'alicorn of food' line was fantastic, and I'm a sucker for a plot that involves a three-partner relationship.
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/group/vkuc-1448531607-209408-128
A review for ocalhoun's big 250k contest.
Remember to vote for the winner of the People's Choice award!
The rankings and ratings of stories in the contest are visible in real time, and you can see them here.
Awesome sex and finish!
7080296
Something something Kamare Sutra.