Chapter Twenty-Three
Burn
⠀
⠀
There was seldom any peace anymore. In the days since returning from Equestria, the world had grown harsher and colder. Day by day, things only seemed more and more bleak, and Sunset was left wondering why she bothered at all.
Every day was spent going through the motions. Sunset just did what she always did, only because she always did it. She didn’t even remember what happened. She had been talking with her replacement, then she heard Celestia’s voice. The next thing she knew, she was lying on her bed back at New Horizons while staring at the ceiling. It was only later that she learned there was a three day gap between the two events.
And there was the vibrating. Everywhere she went, it followed her, no longer confined to the book. A constant echoing reminder of the world that had abandoned her, a fake promise that someone was reaching out for her. It would stop only long enough for her to get used to the silence before catching her unaware.
There were other things. Despite her caution to avoid them, sometimes she would be caught off guard by a mirror. It was the last class of the day, and the girl who sat in front of her was using a pocket mirror to fix her makeup. Sunset hadn’t expected it, so she hadn’t avoided it. And once she noticed, it was impossible to look away.
The mirror reflected the surroundings perfectly. Nothing was there that shouldn’t be, for a change, it just showed the girl applying her lipstick, and Sunset’s desk positioned behind her. And that was all. Where Sunset herself should have been, there was just the chair she was sitting in, empty.
The lack of her reflection captivated her, and she didn’t even realize that she was staring. Eventually, the other girl noticed though. She turned around and cheerfully asked if Sunset needed her for something.
Sunset said something as well, but she couldn’t remember what it was afterwards. Whatever she’d said caused the other girl to stop looking so cheerful and turn back around, though.
The rest of the class passed by. The teacher continued talking about something, the upcoming exam or something like that. It was hard to tell, Sunset only heard some of his words. Other students seemed to be busy taking notes. Sunset wondered if she should as well, until she realized she already was. She looked down at what she had written.
I don’t need me anymore. Equestria doesn’t need me anymore. I thought I was going home. I don’t have a home. I don’t deserve a home. I have nothing. I am nothing. I will only ever be nothing. I don’t need me anymore.
Sunset kept writing her notes.
A tone sounded over the intercom, alerting everyone that afternoon announcements would be made. Vice Principal Luna always ended the day. It was another voice that Sunset heard.
“Sunset Shimmer,” Celestia said over the intercom. Sunset already knew which Celestia it was. “Do not think you belong in this world any more than you belong in mine. You could never belong anywhere, no one would ever want you.”
Sunset nodded along. She knew it was true.
“I wish I could be rid of you as well. I’ve already found somepony who surpasses you in every way, after all. But you are my responsibility, and I will fulfil my obligations. Come to the school’s auditorium. I will be waiting for you.”
The intercom cut out, and students started getting out of their seats. The teacher said something as they left the room.
Most of the students were out the door by the time Sunset put away her stuff. As she tucked her notes in her backpack, she noticed a flower on the floor. She picked that up as well.
It was a wispy, crimson-colored flower with thin stamen extending out of it. Sunset recognized it immediately. It was her favorite.
When she stood up, there was another. Past that, another. Without concerning herself with the rest of the students, Sunset followed the trail of lycoris out into the hall. They continued in a path, which Sunset continued to follow.
Lycoris radiata were beautiful, but that was only part of their allure. They were used by humans for various purposes, but they were also highly poisonous if consumed. Because of this, they were regarded as the flowers of death. Sunset followed them readily.
They grew thicker as she went, until the whole hallway floor was a blood-red river of flowers. Still, Sunset followed. They led her outside, where they were in bloom all over the school courtyard. They were no longer what Sunset’s concern was, however.
There was a purple unicorn sitting at the base of the statue. She was looking around her, searching for something. Once she noticed Sunset walking forward, her smile confirmed what it was.
“Hello, Sunset,” she said cheerfully. “Princess Celestia told me all about you, and I just knew I had to come see you myself. You really should’ve introduced yourself better, you know. We have so much to talk about!”
Sunset just stared down at the little pony. She was much smaller than a human or a horse, only coming up to Sunset’s waist.
“I think it’s best if we get the most important part out of the way first.” The unicorn beamed up at her. “Stay the hell away from Princess Celestia. She’s mine now, and she’s doing much better without you around to fuck everything up.”
Sunset kneeled down to be on level with the pony.
“Now then, as long as we understand that, I think we’re going to be the best of friends! Princess Celestia told me that you aren’t very good with friends, but that’s okay. I’m sure if you follow my example, we’ll do just –”
Sunset wrapped her hands around Twilight’s neck. She pushed the unicorn onto her back and held her down, squeezing as hard as she could. It was easy. Twilight tried to pull Sunset’s arms off of her, but hooves couldn’t grab like hands could, and Sunset was far bigger. It was easy and so fucking satisfying.
Little by little, the movements slowed while Twilight gasped for breath. There was no magic outside of Equestria, and no one to save her. Sunset smiled when she finally stopped moving. It was the first time she smiled since she came back through the portal.
And then it was over. Twilight Sparkle was dead, and she couldn’t outshine Sunset anymore. When Sunset moved her hands, there was red all over them. It covered Twilight’s coat, staining that perfect lavender.
But it wasn’t blood. It was much better than that. Sunset and Twilight were both covered in flower petals. Sunset was still holding one in her hand. Lycoris radiata were beautiful, but that was only part of their allure.
Sunset lifted the bulb and placed it in her mouth.
The vibrations started again, and Sunset realized there was a hand on her shoulder. She blinked and came to her senses. She was in the courtyard, but the flowers were gone. There was no dead pony. She wasn’t even on the ground.
Sunset was standing in front of the statue, looking into its reflective surface. The reflection staring back at her was her own, and it was not. She had dark red skin and bat-like wings. Her hair and dress were flames and her eyes were black and green. She saw a demon in the mirror, staring back at her. She saw fire given solid form.
There was a voice. Sunset turned to see Flash. He was smiling. He was talking to her. What was he saying? Something about knowing that he’d find her here? Sunset said something as well. He wanted her to go to the auditorium. She followed him without questioning it.
Along the way, he smiled and held out his hand. Sunset took it. She had grown accustomed to the contact, and it no longer made her uncomfortable. So instead, she let go of his hand and wrapped her arm around his back. He followed suit and placed an arm around her shoulder, and all the while he was talking.
That was better. The closer she was to him, the less at ease she felt. Holding hands was no longer good enough, and even walking side by side in a half embrace hardly did anything. Still, it made her feel a little uneasy, and that was good. It was a real kind of discomfort. Something she could understand. Something that could distract her from whatever else there was around her. She tried to only focus on that, but it too was becoming more normalized.
They walked into the auditorium together, but they had to part ways. Sunset didn’t know why, but she knew they did. Flash was going to sit in the crowd, while Sunset went backstage. There was a reason, she was sure, but she just couldn’t remember it.
Flash gave her a smile and a thumbs up while he walked away, but Sunset was already moving on. He had served his purpose by distracting her, but he couldn’t do that any longer.
Backstage, Sunset found herself being corralled by Vice Principal Luna. She was addressing several students at once, Sunset among them. Apparently she was proud of them, but Sunset still wasn’t sure why.
One by one, students went out to the stage. Principal Celestia was out there, and she addressed every student as they came. The same motions for every one of them. The student walked onto the stage, Celestia said something, the audience cheered, and Luna sent out the next student.
The students were sent out in order of grade level, with the older students going first. By the time Sunset’s turn came, three-quarters of the students had gone. She was the first freshman to be sent out, however, which she was sure bore some significance.
When Sunset walked out, she saw that the entire school was ahead of her. She had never gone before so many before, but she thought little of it. She walked to the front, taking her place beside Celestia.
Celestia turned and smiled at her. They didn’t have the same smile, not quite, which made it easier. How had Sunset ever mistaken this poor imitation for the real princess?
Celestia presented Sunset with a plaque. It was simple. Canterlot High School’s logo engraved in a gold-colored metal. There were words on it, stating her name and that it was the ‘Bright Future Award’. Sunset couldn’t recall when she was told, but she knew that someone had informed her that she was chosen to receive the award.
Sunset taking the award was Celestia’s cue. She launched into a small speech about how proud she was, and that Sunset was sure to go far in life. Sunset wasn’t listening. She had another Celestia’s words on her mind.
Never lose your fire, my gifted student.
Sunset looked over the crowd. They were clapping politely as Celestia finished her speech. Sunset looked over them and realized that it wasn’t enough. She could get more. She would get more. These students only needed the right push, and they’d all bow to her. They’d adore her, far more than they adored Celestia.
Or, if Sunset chose, they’d fear her. Many students at Everfree Middle School had feared her, but it had never been enough. She could see that now. These students would know her. Sunset was done hiding in the shadows, and if they wouldn’t love her, they would fear her.
But just as soon as it had started, it was over. Sunset knew what she was supposed to do, even if she couldn’t remember being told, and she did it. She marched along to where the other award-winning students were waiting, and Celestia announced the next recipient. Sunset was certain that the applause was quieter than it had been for her.
The vibrating got worse while the others finished, until Sunset began to worry that someone else might hear it. How could they not? It was all around them. But nobody reacted to it, so neither did Sunset. She had to complete the motions.
She wasted no time once the ceremonies were over. There was nowhere she had to go, but she had to go somewhere. She had to escape that awful vibrating. It called to her, it wanted to deceive her.
Sunset wasn’t aware of anything else. There was the vibrating, and nothing else. It was deafening, and made her whole body ache.
That was why it took her so long to notice. There was another vibrating, but this one was in her pocket. It pulled Sunset back out of her fog, and she realized that she was outside the school, sitting in the grass. She was off to the side of the building, where she couldn’t see the statue.
Sunset pulled out her phone, a purchase she had made with her new income. There were new text messages from Flash, asking where she was. They were supposed to meet up after the ceremony, it seemed. Sunset answered him, then put her phone away.
She covered her head with her arms. The vibrating had dulled, but was still present. At least there were no other students in the immediate vicinity, but she still saw them out and about. They all seemed so happy, but Sunset couldn’t understand why.
When Flash found her, he looked annoyed. He was trying to say something about her running off without him, but she cut him off by throwing her arms around him and resting her head on his chest. Sunset wasn’t sure what he said, but his voice had grown concerned.
It helped. Especially when Flash followed her lead and put his arms around her as well, it helped. But Sunset had grown too used to his physical affection, and it was no longer enough to keep her fully distracted. She would have to push for more.
Sunset looked at him and couldn’t place his expression. It didn’t really matter. She closed her eyes and brought her lips to his. It wasn’t like they had never kissed before. They had been dating for months, after all. But usually, Sunset reserved kisses for parting ways, and they had generally kept them short.
This was unlike that. Sunset needed something to hold on to. Something that would pull her back into reality. And if the only thing she had was her discomfort, then she would take that.
Sunset pushed Flash against the wall, covering his body with hers. As they kissed, Sunset felt more aware of her surroundings than she had all day. She even began to realize that she had no idea what she was doing, and if Flash were more experienced, he’d probably find her attempts at making out ridiculous.
“What brought that on?” Flash asked as they pulled apart.
“Are you complaining?”
Sunset heard herself answer. It was the first focused exchange she’d had all day, and one of the only since she’d returned from Equestria. It seemed having a lovesick boyfriend could still prove to be a useful distraction, and Sunset relished the fact that the only noise came from the other students around them.
“No, not at all,” Flash said with a smirk. “I was just wondering so I could know how to do it again.”
Sunset grinned. “Well, school’s almost out. And I think we’ll have a lot more time to spend together over the summer.”
“I won’t complain about that.” Flash motioned towards the back of the school, where the busses were. Or rather, where they should have been. “You’ve been out here a long time. Your bus left already.”
Sunset stared at the lot, empty of all but a few lingering students. “Yeah, I guess it did.”
“Come on, let’s head to my house.” Flash held out his hand for Sunset’s.
Reasoning that she couldn’t refuse him something so simple after what had just happened, Sunset took his hand again as they walked off.
“Hey, uh…” Flash’s tone shifted back to concern. “Is… everything alright? You’ve been… distant lately.”
Sunset frowned. There was no good way for that conversation to go. “I’ve been… I don’t know. It’s been a shitty week.” She looked back at him and put on a reassuring smile. “But I think it’s looking up now.”
Flash smiled as well. So hopeful for a positive answer that it seemed he wasn’t even going to question it. “Alright. But you know, I’m always here if you need me.”
“I know.” Sunset didn’t doubt that. Nor did she doubt that she would be needing him again. Things were okay now, but she knew that wouldn’t last. There was a serious risk that she’d be back to being a zombie before the day was out.
Meanwhile, everyone around her continued as if things were fine. Better than fine; everyone around her seemed so damn happy. Sunset couldn’t understand it.
Sunset had gone to another world. She now knew beyond a doubt that she wasn’t a human. That she didn’t belong in this place. There was someone else taking up the spot that was rightfully her own, and nothing was the way it should be.
She had distracted herself from negative thoughts before going through the portal by keeping busy. But that was no longer good enough, so she knew it was time to push for more.
While they walked through the school courtyard, Sunset took a look at the surrounding students. She had learned a lot during her first year at CHS. She knew how they worked – everyone fell into their own cliques, but they intermingled easily. It would be easy to change that, though. They just needed the right push.
Sunset could unite them closer than ever, or she could divide them once and for all. Either way, she’d place herself on top. It might not be easy, but she had the time to do it. The portal was closed, and wouldn’t open again until her senior year. The only question that remained was what kind of ruler would Sunset be?
Five people caught her attention. It would have been hard to miss them, with all the noise Rainbow Dash was making. She was cheering about the end of the school year, with Pinkie Pie joining in the premature celebration. Ever the voice of reason, Rarity was reminding them that they still had finals over the next few days. Meanwhile, Fluttershy and Applejack were just laughing at their antics.
They all looked so happy. As if just being around each other was the best thing in the world. And then Applejack saw Sunset, and she smiled and waved. It was that perfect smile, the one Sunset had in her head for years, the one she hadn’t quite shown since they started CHS. But Sunset knew it wasn’t for her. That smile was reserved for Applejack’s real friends.
And Sunset knew there was no question about it. She was going to rule the school, and she was going to do it her way. Everyone was just so fucking happy, everyone except Sunset. She watched as Applejack turned back to her friends and said something that made everyone else laugh. And Sunset knew right then that if she was going to divide the school, there was only one place to start.
Sunset wouldn’t lose her fire. She couldn’t. She would find her way to the top, and everyone would know to fear her name. There was no other way. Sunset Shimmer was fire given solid form, and it was time for everyone else to burn.
~ End Act III ~
And here we go. That was a good ending to the chapter. I like that the reason she's doing this is because she is despicable and she can do these horrible things. There's no crazy misunderstanding turning her evil or something that turns her psychotic. She's just a miserable, evil, terrible person. That's how Sunset Shimmer is supposed to be.
Holly Celestia! That was painful to read, in the best possible way of course. Poor Sunset; that was a great portrayal of someone with heavy issues and psychological problems.
Can't wait to read act IV, when the time comes.
Wow, this was chapter was filled with some heavy stuff. Good nonetheless, though.
Sad that yer takin a break
8242362
I mean, if that's how you want to interpret it, then go ahead I suppose Although I will point out that she is literally psychotic. Like, the actual definition and not the casual expression. A psychotic person is someone who suffers from a psychosis, which is defined as "a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality." She has vivid auditory and visual hallucinations within this and earlier chapters.
8242377
Happy you liked the trapped in a bubble approach to the chapter. I was worried that it would be boring to read (since it's essentially just telling what happened with little actual showing).
Looking forward to Act IV as well Act III was in some ways a step back from how heavy Act II was (except for the last couple chapters). Of course it was all to get her on a course for EqG necessary for Act IV, but it was kinda less interesting for me to write
8242378
Lol the heavy stuff is always my favorite, personally
I'm a bit sad to take a break as well, especially with Act IV around the corner (speaking of enjoying heavy things...) Hopefully it won't be too long before I'm back at it
8242390
Got'ya completely. I myself tried to do something similar in my own story. It is hard, precisely because you focus on what's inside the mind of the person, and the actual events take a backseat and "showing" them is pointless; specially if the character does not want, or can't, pay attention to them. Some people may not like it, but it's definitely interesting.
Stop teasing how awesome act IV is gonna be. You worked really hard on act III, loved it.
So, Sunsets gone completly cray-cray now. Lashing out because she's literally losing her mind, is an interesting new explanation as to why she tried to fuck over a highschool so much.
Makes it harder to feel like she's the bad guy in this though, considering that she's clinically insane and out of touch with reality.
I haven't read the rest of your series yet, but i do hope that Celestia is gonna feel fucking awful once she finds out just how much she's damaged Sunset.
8242539
Yeah, I really prefer complex situations over clear cut good and bad. While Sunset’s actions are clearly wrong in EqG1, I think it’s more complicated than saying that because of that she herself is fundamentally a bad person. Of course, this point is kinda moot if you’re the person being bullied by her, but I feel like this explanation lends itself much better to Sunset eventually being redeemed as a good person after the events of the first movie.
8242588 Yeah, Sunset being a two-bit bully with no explanation as to why is kind of the reason why she was such a lousy villain. "She's a bully because she is" is pretty boring.
The Elements healing her psychosis and the reality of her actions crashing down on her, makes for a pretty good explanation as to why she was suddenly so remorseful for her actions. And it ties in neatly with the Elements healing Lunas madness in the two-parter
8242385
...I guess you could see it that way. I prefer what I said though, she is despicable and she does horrible things because she can.
So, usually I do not write outright rants and/or complains. But, sometimes keeping emotions within is just not feasible, so here it is.
During my 25+ years of reading books and fanfiction, I've read 175 million words of stories (lowest estimate). But this one story takes the cake of being the most disappointing thing that I ever read, watched or played while having good expectation of it. Why? Because you take an awesome and great premise, and turn it in to a significantly worse version of canon EG for no apparent reason except making a character miserable. And an excellent writing only magnifies it all to a great degree.
Yes, I have dropped the reading itself on the 7th chapter, when it became crystal clear that you were determined to go that bucking canon route, but I was reminded of it many times more, by 'featured stories' and many of the 'tag' stories.
Hope you would feel bad about your story in the future, author. And have my curse too, I sure hope it sticks.
8242839
Wasn't it foreshadowed by the following stories that Sunset would take this way?
Her behavior in "Looking Glas" correlates with most of her Problems in "Finding Home". Her fear of loss determines all her life up till the point where Ponyshy accepts Sunsets feelings for herself, Twilight and her alcohol addiction. She wanted to take everything with force because nobody or in this case Celestia in her imagination reciprocates her feelings. She could have gone to Celestia at this point and said that she was sorry and I think she had been accepted back. But She didn't and her paranoia ruptured her worldview
All I expected from this story was that Sunsets life in the human world would be terrible, because it clearly had to end with the first EQ Movie. For better days in Sunsets life I am waiting for the follow up of Finding home.
8243081
Afaik it wasn't reflected properly in the annotation when the story started. The existence of any prequels/sequels/ties to other works and so forth. Have I known that the story would go this route from the beginning - I would have never read it in the first place, sparing me the biggest fiction-related disappointment of my life. Your story has sequels/prequels and/or is the part of the verse? Put it clearly in the description/annotation right from the beginning with proper emphasis, it isn't hard. Unless you want some of your readers to hate you as a person, that is.
Dang that is some powerful writing in the portrayal of Sunset's mental break.
8242839
hey pal. if you don't like it move along. you're being nothing but rude for no other reason to put someone down. Are you jealous that your own story hasn't gotten any likes? Your are firmly in the minority over what Krickis has done with their story direction. Calling this the biggest fiction-related disappointment of your life. what a joke. Also the last line of this comment 8243097 is despicable and you should be appalled.
8243305
*grins* 'being rude to put someone down' , 'jealous for lack of likes' ?
Keh. Surprise, people have opinions. And it's not always positive. And another surprise to ya, sometimes the quality of the work (that i never doubted) only makes the disappointment bigger.
Am I jealous? Honestly, yes, to a certain degree. In regards to the writing skill that is. But I'll either get there myself someday, or stop caring altogether. Do i care about the number of likes on my own mediocre (at it's best) story? Nah, would choose a different premise otherwise.
Can't understand/accept the above? Your loss, not mine. And i always stand by mine words.
"You know what you must do... Burn it...! To the ground...!"
That's what I was imagining with that title.
Dammit, Sunset! You should have just told Twilight "I'm Sunset Shimmer, bitch! Get the fuck out of my way!" Now you're on the dark side completely!
Two situations constantly being merged by a collapsing mind.
8243097
Well we're so sorry the author didn't consider your feelings when writing the story.
Not everybody can account for every special little snowflakes butt hurt when writing good fanfiction.
Go jack off to My Little Dashie if you want something like that, and leave good writing here for the rest of us to enjoy ya Mellon-fudge.
I mean, I could understand if you were giving constructive criticism or critiquing the writing. But all you're doing is cry-bitching about the direction The Narrative took. Grow up.
Also, Setanta wasn't calling you out for having a different opinion. They were calling you out for being an insufferably rude, negative and hostile jackass.
8243643
*sighs* You see, i do not believe myself that special, so author would change his story cuz i said so. Doesn't mean that i would avoid saying what i think. But I already said my point, so no need for repetition here.
But, what's funny here is that i'm not being rude or jackass here. Because, if you believe that what i have written here constitutes for that... well, welcome to the real word (tm). Also, read your own post, and try honestly saying that you are not being rude or jackass.
Can't be hard, right?
8243671
In the "real world" this would be considered the very definition of being a rude Jackass. Your comments reflect upon the character of your immaturity. If this isn't just you acting out through the shield of Internet anonymity, and you actually act this way to people in real life. Then I feel very sorry for anybody that has the displeasure of being acquainted with you.
Rude jackasses rarely ever consider themselves such. The uncouth things they say to others seem completely normal to them, because their very nature is to be unkind and disrespectful.
Also as for your commenting that I was being rude as well, you're absolutely right. It's called reciprocating in kind dumbass.
Now I think I've wasted enough of my life arguing with you, have a lovely day.
8243097
Honestly, I don’t have a lot to say about your initial opinion. It’s different from mine, which is whatever. You’re trying really hard to get under my skin with some of your comments but you failed at that. Actually, between the two of us, you’re obviously the more upset one, and that is what I’m replying to.
See, this could have been so avoidable for you. First off, the story is not tagged with ‘Alternate Universe’. One might have assumed that this meant it’s (shockingly) not set in an alternate universe. It’s tagged with ‘Drama’, though. So take this premise, the drama tag, and the lack of an AU tag, and tell me again what you were expecting
But even more damning, you stated you wouldn’t have read it if you knew it was connected to other stories (which sounds a bit baffling, but to each their own).
This is in the description. It’s been in the description the entire time this story has been around, so I’m positive it was there when you started reading. So you ignored the tags and what was literally in the description and wound up reading a story that you could have easily known wasn’t going to interest you, then got upset when it wasn’t what you wanted it to be. I’m truly at a loss for what more you wanted me to do to have kept you out of this story.
Lots of comments to reply to today
8243081
Thanks for the defense on the story. And while he wouldn’t have known what happens in Finding Home if this was his first WWB story he’s read, you’re right that if FelSpite had paid a bit more attention he could have realized this wasn’t the AU story he wanted.
Ah well. In any event, I’m glad that you and everyone else here has been enjoying the story
8243269
Thank you I was nervous about how I handled Sunset’s mental state here, so I’m thrilled to hear people are enjoying it
8243352
Twilight cocked her head to the side. She was confused about several things. Who was this mysterious pony? Sunset Shimmer? Twilight had never heard that name before. And why did the princess have such rude company, anyway? But mostly, she was left wondering one thing in particular.
“What in the hay does ‘fuck’ mean?”
8243519
Indeed, Sunset’s not likely to enjoy much in the next few years...
8243643
This whole comment was phenomenal Thank you, both for calling out FelSpite’s rudeness and for doing it so damn well
Ha. Sunset really did receive a psychic shock from Twilight's appearance, didn't she?
It's a very, very, very, very, very good thing that SciTwi was hiding out at Crystal Prep, because she might not have survived three years of Sunset Shimmer if the latter had realised who the former was the dimensional counterpart of.
8243720
Oh, it's rather simple. First of all, just because the story isn't tagged AU doesn't mean that it should stick to the canon events in it's further development. 'AU' tag means that the setting elements and character background have a significant difference from canon. Lack of said tag just means that setting elements and characters are to be expected very close or similar to that of canon (for the most part, because the difference may be a premise of a story or a plot point and it won't necessary make a story an AU). So, it doesn't really make a difference in this case. And i don't mind 'Drama' tag, and it doesn't mean sticking to all canon events either, especially a determinism of the degree present.
Now, if you would start a story description (and preferably a short description too) with a clearer line of continuity belonging , it would make everything much more easier. After all first story in a series doesn't mean determinism either. Actual word 'prequel' would cover all of my points, except personal frustration, but that can't be helped either way.
Trying to get under your skin? Keh, there's no reason to, and it won't help anyway too.
8243812
The official guide to the tags on Fimfiction states under AU that "Changing the outcome of major events" is considered an AU story worthy of having a tag. And having a story that is based on EqG without also having the movies be part of the story would certainly count as changing the outcome of major events. So you're incorrect on what that tag means on this site. Simple misunderstanding, but it was yours and not mine. When working with fanfiction, the best assumption to make is that all points of canon that were released when are part of the story was written are considered part of the world that the story takes place in, unless otherwise specified.
My point on the drama tag only works in conjunction with my point on the AU tag; if one assumes this story is an AU, then the drama tag becomes pointless to the matter at hand, as you say.
My point with this story being part of a larger series was that you claimed that it wasn't specified anywhere, and that this information would have somehow swayed you from reading. It was specified, just not in the way that you specifically wanted it to be, apparently. I chose to describe this story specifically before anything else, because I was doing so in this story's description. We can disagree on what the best way to convey information is, but you claimed I hadn't conveyed information, which is outright incorrect.
This? This is trying to get under my skin. It has no purpose at all other then to try and make me feel bad (I mean, you literally said that you hope I feel bad). Do what you will, but at least own up to it.
And while we're here, from the comment you made while I was replying to you earlier, and didn't see until afterwards:
The author happens to not be male. I'm not terribly surprised, though; groundless assumptions seem to be your thing.
8243778
Yeah, that would have been bad While Sunset would have known that they weren't the same (just as she knows the Celestias aren't the same), there's no telling what could happen in her hallucinations/delusions. Plus she'd probably target SciTwi specifically once she goes full bully, just because she looks like the other Twi
8243868
As for AU part. It's obviously a reference to the _past_ events, as in all major events that happened prior the start of the story. If it's not clear, well, I'll write a petition to correct the 'official guide' at some point in the near future. And no, it doesn't mean that a story lacking AU tag and set in EG verse should have a determinism as related to all of the events in the movie. I could also argue in regards to it having very little influence in regards to 'Drama' tag either way, but that would be a completely pointless waste of time, so i won't.
My main point was that it wasn't _properly_ specified. I also said 'afaik', which is not a stating of a certain fact. It still can be made better and it's really easy to do so. So why not?
Also, yes i default anyone's gender in the internet to 'male' unless specified otherwise, nothing personal here. Minor apologies for my laziness on that part. And while I can lay my hand on my heart and honestly say that I still do want for you to feel bad for writing your story this way at some point in the future, I still do not consider it 'getting under your skin'. Not even close.
So, to avoid any further derail I'll stop my posts in your story comments here. Once again: correcting the description would be easy, so why not?
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I wish you the best of luck with your petition. But regardless of tags, there was absolutely nothing (aside from your own assumptions) that this deviated from canon in any way. So in answer to your question of why this wasn’t specified more clearly, I earnestly don’t think it needs to be. I wholeheartedly stand by my opinion that stories only need to specify when they don’t line up with canon material.
And (if this is still relevant) as for why I didn’t place the info that this is part of a larger series higher up, it’s because I want people to first read what this story is about before mentioning any others. Ideally, I’d like for people to have an interest in seeing where this specific story goes before scaring anyone off by making them think they’ll need to read a dozen other fics to understand this one, particularly when that’s not the case.
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Especially because I wouldn't put it past Sunset to murder SciTwi (as she already has fantasies of murder).
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While I don't think Sunset would intentionally do anything that severe to anyone (even pony Twilight), it certainly would be a hell of a risk for SciTwi, considering Sunset isn't exactly coherent at all times
8244615
Yeah. I wouldn't put it past Sunset to get in a fight with Twi and "accidently" (real or not) kill her.
....Wow, this got really messed up, but it also makes sense in a way.
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lol I certainly haven’t set out to write a happy story Glad you’re enjoying it, in any case
As for the potential of a spinoff story, I honestly just have too many plans for this series to go making alternate versions of things. I’ll still be working on this series for years to come, so taking the time to write a whole multi-chapter fic for a ‘what if’ spinoff is just not likely
8358558
How goes the next chapter
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Unfortunately, Looking Glass isn’t the story I’m working on right now, so I haven’t even started writing the next chapter I’m trying to finish Heart of the Forest at the moment, then I have another story that I’m writing as a gift to my wife that I need to finish. Both of these stories have two more chapter for me to write, so it’ll be at least a month before I can even start working on LG (and that’s only if I can manage a chapter a week, which is not a safe assumption).
Assuming everything goes smoothly, Heart of the Forest will be back September 11 and run for three weeks. Once that’s done, I start posting In Quiet Moments (the story I’m writing for my wife) on October 2, which will also update for three weeks. Once that’s done, we’ll finally get back to Looking Glass on October 23. Again, this is all assuming nothing goes wrong.
On the bright side, if you’re reading the other stories I’m gonna be putting chapters out for, I’ll hopefully have some more content in a few weeks, even if it’s not Looking Glass. And once Looking Glass starts updating again, it’ll continue to update weekly until it’s complete
Will Looking Glass be a direct prequel to Warmth In The Snow? I'd really like to know the back story of Sunset and Fluttershy that led to their failed relationship.
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Both stories are part of my Who We Become series, so yes this is a direct prequel. Looking Glass's sequel will cover Sunset and Fluttershy's relationship more fully, starting well before Warmth in the Snow and ending after it.
8417742 Sweeeeeet!!!
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Oh my gosh, she's absolutely precious.
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I always tend to gravitate to stories that come up with mostly original content compared to the comics, so this is very enjoyable. And it's cool if you don't reply instantly, I'm just showing I'm reading. I usually read on mobile too, so my comments aren't as verbose as I'd like them to be.
Why the sudden addition of the Sex tag?
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I realized I ought to have one for stuff coming up in the next chapter. It won't be anything explicit (this is still a T-rated story, after all).
That was messed up. I figured that finding out that Celestia found a new student would be the reason for Sunset seeking revenge; but I wasn't expecting the intense hallucinations. SciTwi could be in genuine danger if Sunset discovered her while she was hallucinating.
It makes a lot more sense now why she wanted mess up everyone at Canterlot High. Much better than her just being a bully.
9166415
Oh, what could have been... That kind of story sounds great to read.
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At one point in time, this story was meant to have so many of these hallucinations and dream sequences that even the reader wouldn't know entirely what was really happening and what wasn't. Dialed it back a bit from that, but I did have a lot of fun with the ones that are in the fic. It's what I miss most about writing this story
I greatly enjoyed the story up to this chapter. Cheers and a thumb up for that. However, after reading this chapter I got a suspicion that this is one of reformation stories like canon and went to the last chapter to check. Apparently it is, so I'm not going to read subsequent chapters to remember this story as a great unfinished fic and not failed finished one. I really hate redemption/reformation stories of any kind.
I would love to read a fork of this story where Sunset might be a terrible person, but avoids the friendship cannon because she is more rational and doesn't simply lash out at entire school just because she's hurt.
Good luck.
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While I'm glad you enjoyed the story up to this point, there was never anything indicating this is an AU. It's not tagged as such and nothing in the description says it is.
This act resonated with me on a more personal level than the previous two, and honestly if anything it just made me love this piece so much more.
Your writing, although showing Sunset to be the horrible person that she was, I can't help but feel anything but pure sympathy for her.
I'm so glad to see someone characterize her so realistically, as opposed to an overblown bully archetype with no real depth to her.
Thank you so much for all the hard work and obvious love you put into crafting this.
I can't wait to finish up the last act.
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I’ve become a huge sucker for characters that are wrong, but you can see where they’re coming from. The show BoJack Horseman became a major inspiration for me when writing this fic for that reason. Glad to hear you’re enjoying this more and more and looking forward to your thoughts on the rest; the last act is my favorite
Yes
Oh gods
YES
I'm sorry Sunset but
YES
I can't wait to see Sunset's complete tyranny, how she managed before and after Snips and Snails, how she established her command on the school.
Welcome to the Dark side of the Dark side Sunset! We have chocolate chip cookies
The only part I'm not looking forward to is seeing Fluttershy being bullied. Just, nah, I don't like that, I'm not sure I can ever forgive that. My daughter (Pinkie) can take it, so, not that worried. The rest I'm not that worried either but Fluttershy feels like she just got caught in the crossfire, though she is the strongest of them all, she is too good to deserve what's coming. Just, nuh uh.