- Member Since 15th Feb, 2016
- offline last seen Yesterday
Gravestone
I see people two ways who they are and who they can be.
Gravestone
Joined 15th Feb, 2016 ·
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For the love of Celestia, please use some commas in there.
8211103 There happy and thank you for pointing that out I kept missing it.
8211103 And get rid of the warnings. No one cares. it is smut. Only put warnings if it is an extreme fetish like scat, vore and the other fucked up ones.
Also the fuck you doing on this sort of story, you fucking perv.
8211199 It was put in one of my groups. I check every story's page to ensure that they fit in the group. If not, then I take care of the problem.
8211199 Seriously have you not read my story Corruption of Equestrias Champions and for the spoiler bars, there are some of those people out there that complain and I just don't want to hear them.
You know...while this story may lead to something interesting...I will admit it has problems. For one, it seemed...rushed. Like the way it was written felt it was all rushed, not enough time to make me feel much of anything for the smut story. Another thing was the forced sentences in the flashback-- with no way of telling the readers that it was 'finished' with the flashback. Thirdly? I didn't knew who was who, yes the pictures help for us to see what they look like...the lacking of visual each DD girl with their names? I had no idea who was who, you may need to visualize what they look like, what their coats color are like, their eyes, what they wore, it'll help the reader to visualize each DD girl.
Another thing was the love making was rushed, if they were all virgins, they would experience the entering of a male for the first time being painful, as virgins need time to adjust to whoever is in them. It also seem to be a bit of 2nd person a bit after the whole cumming thing for Rosie before switching to first person. And while I'm sure the writer wanted to do the best they can, the story wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst. I honestly felt that as much of a curious smut story was brought into the site-- the story could of done a lot better, maybe longer to add in those details and maybe stretch out the love making, make us feel that 'why' boner or need within us when we're finish.
So we can feel something beside the 'what did I read?' or 'why did I waste a couple of minutes reading this, when I could of done something else?' I mean, I know my grammar is crappy-- but I know you could of done better with this story. You just needed to stretched it out and make us look at what your character was looking.
This isn't bashing on the story, this is my take on the story and what I feel on it.
I've read a human-female DD shipping before. But none like this. Hoo...
I guess if he's able to cum enough to enact [inflation/stomach_deformation], then his Equestria must be within the hentai-verse... though we already knew that, right? XD
Meme
Definitely do more, but find an editor. It'll help the story a lot
So I haven’t gotten far but Ill just say this now from what I’ve read:You have the right grammar per se but are very lacking when it comes to punctuation.You’re missing a lot of commas and just in general cause everything to be a run-on sentence.However,as I said, you have good grammar so it’s not really too bad/obnoxious when trying to read this,or at least for me.I’d say you probably should go back and just correct the punctuation and you’re be grand.
I bid my adieu
I'm going to have to echo comments that say this fic could pretty badly need an editor. I'd be happy to give this chapter a once-over for you, to show you what is causing readability problems.
I like this story already I hope theres more chapters coming keep up the awesome work
8211115
Looks a lot better, and it’s totally fine! I sometimes forget little things like that in my excitement to publish a new story, too.
8212538
Two words Grammar Nazis
It looks interessting already, but is it more meant as a clopfic only, or can I hope for some of the elements to be treaten more seriously too? I just want to know how I have to look at it, in order to make the right judgement and not vote for something it isn’t even trying to be.
So why a Cajun French Rougarou exactly?
8212817
Thought it would be appropriate you know Diamond Dogs plus nobody has used that name before.
8212836
Thank you very much, you have good taste.
8212833
Beyond that I mean, there’s got to be reason behind it. Also it seems a bit off because if this is in Equestria... where exactly did Cajuns come from?
Can you teach the one hand technique?
I’d tell you this story needs the help of an editor really, really badly... but judging by all the deleted comments, I think you already know.
8212844
I had this story written long before I was on this site. If I remember correctly I finished watching a show or movie about the Rougarou and then I watched MLP Dog and Pony Show and the idea came to me but originally it was going to be woman instead of a man seeing how most people on this site don’t like the Idea of a woman mating with anything and having children but men are ok to do it.
8212879
I echo this. There are a number of fimfic groups that you can submit this to for editing help. This is pretty rough.
8212882
Okay, now it just looks like you’re deleting comments for no good reason. My first comment was a legit question and you deleted that one as well. Now you can explain yourself here, or you can delete this comment as well and make yourself look worse.
8212914
I would expect a delete coming. Anything that comes across as mean here seems to be vanishing. Even if it’s offering genuine advice.
8212920
Then shitpost, shitpost so that there will be glorious vast stretches of deleted comments indicating that lulz once rampaged across the land!
Does the main character know how to eat crawfish and pronounce Thibodeaux?
YAY!!! I GOT 100 LIKES IN LESS THAN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS TIME TO CELEBRATE!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v15OazyFaY
8212882
I'm interested in the creation and evolution of the Cajun culture in this universe
8212949
Well, he will teach his pack how to make Jumbo and Jambalaya if that answers your question about crawfish, crawdads or mudbugs whichever one you want to call them. But I am sorry to say I can’t even pronounce Thibodeaux correctly myself.
8212981
Aw I'm sure there's tons of great recipes. Will there be shrimp and catfish caught by hand?
Has he ever tried fried crocodile? We catch em plenty in the bayou.
8212841
Talk about pretentious. Also pretty sure he was taking the piss.
I still need to wait for an answer to see if this is mostly meant as an clopfic or a more complex story, but I like the main char already, he is not blushing even nearly as much as the others.
? I tried to find out what you meant with that.
Normally I don’t like using information from real animals on those now more or less more intelligent creatures, but as far as I remember it could have worked out explaining that dogs have less endurance or something like that. I mean if my informations are right.
If this is supposed to be a more serious chapter, then I would like it if you would give him a reason for accepting his fate so fast, would even let the reason count that he maybe always liked animals or something.
That and if they aren’t in heat anymore, then I would love to see him having special chapters where he is paying more attention to one certain Diamond Dog, maybe you could explain wich one of the not colloured once is which one as well?
Like I said if it is a more complex storie then I hope the story isn’t made out of 85% sex and 15% attempt to create a story, but maybe 50% 50%?
If it is a clopfic then I suppose I don’t care, but if not then I would like to have something else too.
edit: I would love to see them doing some strange dog stuff, like maybe making strange gifts like raw meat or dead animals. I don’t know but they always looked to be less intelligent or at least more wild than ponies.
This story really is...
...
...Something. It’s just... wow...
You know, dude, it really makes you look bad if you go on mass deletion sprees like this. Which, I suspect, explains the downvotes. Chill out, and maybe see if there's something to be gleaned from those comments instead of deleting them because your ego is more fragile than a shard of glass. YOU chose to post this here, and as such, you have opened yourself to criticism. Learn to take it before posting anything else, or else you will not survive on this site or any other.
8213085
Sorry about that. The answer is no it’s not a clopfic but it does have clop. I don't know what you'd call it but he started out as an outcast by the ponies except for his friends. And now he has Diamond Dogs for mates so things aren't going to go well. But he builds all their lives up for the better and everyone learns a lesson or something. As for looking at the moon, Luna was the only one to truly expect him for being him.
8213235
I suspect that some of the downvotes also come from the fact that, even by smutfic standards, this is pretty rough around the edges in the writing department. A few have pointed that out before, I just wanna make it clear that the author’s behavior is probably not the only thing causing the uh, ahem, like-dislike ratio.
Congrats, you've earned a downvote.
You shouldn’t be able to delete comments if you can’t tell the difference between its and it’s.
ih0.redbubble.net/image.13056045.3033/st%2Csmall%2C215x235-pad%2C210x230%2Cf8f8f8.lite-1.jpg
8211269
People still believe this? I’m surprised.