Chapter 27
From the journal of Heartwing, dated 825 AF
Fluttershy,
I don’t know what to do.
I never meant to lead ponies. I certainly never meant to be in charge of these so-called ‘Knights’ forever. I thought I could just show them the truth, and then let things play out on their own. Somepony else would take charge, and I could go find the next bonfire to start, the next mess to cause.
It didn’t work out that way. They made me the Grand Master.
The Knights Angelic were not an island in the ocean. They had family, friends, lovers, and companions. Suddenly I had hundreds of lives I was responsible for. I had to find them a place to live, to put down roots, to grow food, to thrive. I had to build a society, and because I’d just taken away their faith, I had to do it from the ground up.
I’m not made for building things, Fluttershy. I’m sure I’ve made a complete mess of it all. If they had any brains they’d gallop away from me as fast as they could.
If I had any brains, I’d do the same.
I guess I’m just an idiot, then. Huh. I’m suddenly starting to feel a great deal of empathy for Rainbow Dash.
Separate entry, dated 1107 AF
Fluttershy,
You would be very impressed with Termie. He’s come up with a list of ‘rules’ for new ponies, to help them transition to life here at Angel’s Rest. I know I am; every day I think about how much I don’t deserve him.
I can almost hear your stern lecturing tone. Telling me to get over you, let go, and give all of myself to that wonderful stallion.
Okay, so the rules. I’m going to write them out here, but I think I’ll also make a framed copy for our guest room.
Number One: Take every moment one step at a time. Focus on the now, first; the future will sort itself out.
Number Two: Figure out who you want to be, right now. Don’t worry about who you were before.
Number Three: Just like you deserve a fresh start, so does everypony else. Everypony gets a clean slate.
Number Four: Once you know who you want to be right now, imagine who you want to be in the future. Set small, measurable, attainable goals. Have a big picture, but don’t lose yourself in it (remember rule Number One).
Number Five: Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Be patient with yourself.
I don’t deserve him. I never even deserved you.
1112 AF, Angel’s Rest
“I’m thinking, ‘Rebirth’!” Rarity announced dramatically with a wide sweep of her hoof. The gesture took in the entire building.
“You don’t think that’s a little obvious? Maybe too on the nose?” asked the creature standing next to her. The minotaur female practically towered over Rarity, but Rarity found her new acquaintance’s presence to be comforting, rather than intimidating.
“Perhaps, darling, but subtlety isn’t exactly what I’m going for here,” Rarity said, turning back to wink at Miss Klieo.
Rarity had been rather surprised to learn just how well thought-out Heartwing’s city of rebels was. Only a portion of the citizens of Angel’s Rest were actually dedicated to the cause of fighting the Diarchy. Most of the ponies and creatures here actually were civilians, supporting the war effort however they could while they tried to live their lives, free and happy, away from the horrors she had heard about the theocracy. It even had a functioning economy and banking system, with Heartwing putting up business loans to help new ponies find their hooves out of his own personal fortune (which Rarity had been assured was large enough to help ponies like her begin their lives anew).
Not only had Heartwing provided a generous loan for Rarity to begin her new boutique, he had also introduced her to a seamstress looking to own her own business. One look at Miss Klieo’s portfolio of design ideas had convinced Rarity; the young minotaur had both talent and potential, needing only a senior partner to mold that talent into something spectacular. Klieo, in turn, knew more about the fashion needs of non-pony creatures than Rarity did. Together, Rarity thought they could be very productive.
The first thing they needed, though, was a physical location.
“It looks… boring,” Klieo commented. Rarity smirked. Indeed, the single-story storefront didn’t stand out much in the row of shops and businesses that filled the street. Its stucco walls were beige, and the roof was constructed of uninspired brown tile. There was a single large display window that looked into the empty store beyond.
“Not boring, Klieo. It’s a blank canvas, waiting for a splash of color and life,” Rarity said, her hooves tapping with excitement as ideas and images danced in her mind. “Rebirth, like a phoenix rising from the ashes! Bright walls, done up in a flame motif! A logo beside the door, maybe something like the bird itself rising from the flames. Notebook!” she cried out desperately, glancing at her new partner, who produced a blank notebook and pencil with a bemused expression at Rarity’s abruptness. With a look of intense concentration, she began to frantically sketch her ideas onto the pages.
“Did you maybe want to see inside?” Klieo asked, smiling with amusement at Rarity’s antics.
“One moment, darling. Inspiration waits for nopony.” With the pencil gripped firmly in the light blue aura of her magic, she hurriedly sketched a few ideas for the logo before closing up the book and passing it back to Klieo’s waiting hand. “Now. Let’s take a look inside.”
“It’s just empty space,” Klieo stated.
“Perhaps,” Rarity mused. “Or maybe it’s an empty canvas, just like the outside.” She levitated the keys Heartwing had given her out of her saddlebags and unlocked the front door. “After you, dear.” Klieo looked at Rarity, then at the door, and with only a brief moment of hesitation, turned the handle and opened the door into their new premises.
For some reason, Rarity had expected more dust. The interior, while small, was quite clean, the floors polished wood. Classic, perhaps, but she wanted something more modern. Only, she realised slightly amusedly, she didn’t exactly know what that meant now.
“I think…” Klieo began tentatively. “I think I’m seeing what you mean. Blank canvas. Um, there’s not a lot of space, but what about a raised platform? Like, a miniature stage, right here? We could use it as a display, or… or even…” She hesitated, as if suddenly unsure of herself.
“Hold fashion shows?” Rarity finished slyly, and Klieo nodded. “Don’t worry, Miss Klieo. I am no stranger to those. I love the idea. Let’s draw out some layouts.”
Between the two of them, Klieo and Rarity filled the notebook full of ideas. While inexperienced as an actual designer, Klieo had worked as a seamstress, and had a mind full of inventive designs. In the end, Rarity felt the hours they’d spent flitting about the empty shop, excitedly chatting about ideas, was time well spent.
“You’ve done this before,” Klieo commented as she and Rarity began listing the supplies they would need before a grand opening.
“Well of course, darling. This will be my fourth…” Rarity began, then gulped, trailing off. Her vision was suddenly quite blurry. “My fourth… I…” She took a deep breath, dabbing daintily at her sudden tears. “I’m quite sorry, Klieo. I seem to be out of sorts.”
“You’re remembering what you lost?” Klieo asked softly, her voice full of understanding. “Do you want to tell me about it?” She laid one of her forehooves, or hands, as Rarity corrected mentally, on Rarity’s shoulder comfortingly.
“My first was Carousel Boutique, in Ponyville. I lived above my shop, in a building literally shaped like the most delightful carousel. Every inch of the space was mine; fabulous, chic, and utterly unique,” Rarity began. The sense of loss closed in around her chest as she barely held back sobs. It was gone. The businesses she’d poured her time, her passion, and her genius into was gone. “I’m sorry, dear. It must seem terribly uninteresting to you…”
Klieo interrupted with a shake of her head. “No,” she said. “If you need to cry about this, don’t let me stop you. I get it.”
“I just hate this,” Rarity growled with a stomp of her hoof as she dashed her tears away with a hoof. “It’s unseemly to just begin weeping at every little drop of a hat.”
“Not really,” Klieo said comfortingly. “You’ve experienced a major loss. You’re still mourning. Nobody here will judge you for shedding some tears over it.”
“You sound rather experienced in the subject,” Rarity said softly. There was real empathy in Klieo’s voice, and not just platitudes.
“My parents adopted my big sister a little after I was born. She’s had to struggle with loss and grief herself.” Klieo paused thoughtfully for a few moments. “You know what? You might like her. It’s dinner time anyways. C’mon, let’s go eat at Colibri’s place. It’s nearby.”
“Your sister won’t mind unexpected dinner guests?” Rarity asked carefully.
“I’d hope not,” Klieo laughed. “Her place is a pub.” They closed up the empty shop and walked down the street side by side.
By now, Rarity had grown used to the inquisitive stares she received from the residents of Angel’s Rest. After her first day, Heartwing had made an announcement about her presence, but it was clear that many ponies were still deeply curious. Even though she was not a religious figure for these ponies, she was still a legend, a myth, a living connection to ancient history. Rarity did her best to smile and wave at everypony, though. The sooner they saw her as just a normal unicorn, the sooner the awkward staring would stop. Hopefully to be replaced with the awed staring of her adoring customers, of course.
Klieo led the way to the pub, a charming building with a hanging wooden placard over the door that reminded Rarity of some of the businesses in Ponyville. The pub’s name, “The Cocoon”, was proudly engraved into the sign, over a bright picture of a butterfly breaking out of a cocoon. Klieo pushed open the swinging door, and a bell over the door tinkled to announce their arrival.
“Welcome to The Cocoon, how can I…” a cheerful alto voice announced, cutting off as Klieo and Rarity slipped inside. The speaker was a pegasus mare with emerald green fur and a silvery blue and violet mane. “Oh, Klieo! Come on in! And who are…” she froze, and then gulped, and the mare’s welcoming smile became rather nervous.
“Please, don’t mind me, darling,” Rarity said with a disarming smile. “I’m just a normal customer.” The mare nodded nervously, and was trembling a little as she showed the two of them to an empty table.
“Rarity, this is Colibri, my big sister. Colibri, this is Rarity,” Klieo announced, as if it were the most normal introduction in the world. Rarity was grateful; she wanted a bit of normal right now. “Colibri here owns the pub, and is the primary hostess.”
“It looks like a delightful place,” Rarity declared, looking around the room at the brightly colored, homey décor. The walls were covered in colorful, abstract paintings in cool colors. On some of the walls, floating shelves held dozens of framed pictures, mostly of ponies, though there were all sorts of other creatures as well. The only odd decoration was a large knife, mounted on a plaque as if it were some sort of bizarre hunting trophy.
“R-Rarity. Right. Of course,” Colibri said nervously. “Um, just like Sir Heartwing said. U-um. Klieo, why are you…”
“Heartwing introduced me to your absolutely delightful little sister,” Rarity said, coming to the flustered Colibri’s rescue. “I’ve been…” she paused, tapping her chin thoughtfully with one hoof, “out of circulation for a while, and I need a talented and creative individual to help me start up a fashion boutique. Klieo and I are going into business with each other.”
“B-business? W-with Saint Rarity? You?” Colibri stammered, though she sounded pleased through her shock.
“Oh please, drop the ‘Saint’ bit, will you?” Rarity said, with some asperity. “That whole nonsense was done entirely without my permission or foreknowledge.”
The absurdity of Rarity’s words was just what Colibri needed. The nervous pub owner let out a little giggle and visibly relaxed.
“Um, yeah. Sorry. Um, menus?” Colibri blinked, then snatched a menu from the apron she wore. “Right. Menus. Don’t worry, Miss Rarity,” she said, emphasizing the ‘miss’ with a wink as she placed the menus on the table. “Klieo knows what’s good, and can answer any questions. Anything to drink before I go?”
“Beer!” Klieo suggested cheerfully, earning herself a glare from her sister.
“You have two months to go, sister,” Colibri said warningly.
“Pony rules,” Klieo scoffed, and Colibri’s eyes narrowed.
“Pony pub, pony rules, little sister. No beer until you’re twenty-one. I’m bringing you some root beer.” She turned to Rarity. “And for you, M-miss Rarity?” She barely stammered this time.
“Water is just fine,” Rarity said. Colibri shuffled off to get their drinks and give Rarity time to peruse the menu.
“What was that about?” Rarity asked. Klieo didn’t seem upset at all by the exchange with her sister.
“Most minotaur families let their kids drink as young as sixteen. But my sister’s pretty strict about creatures drinking too young.” Klieo sounded proud. “Doesn’t mean I can’t tease her about it. It’s my job, after all.”
“So,” Rarity said, when Klieo went silent. “When you said sister, I’m afraid to say I made some assumptions.”
“Really?” Klieo said, puzzled. “Oh! Right. Because she’s a pegasus, and I’m a minotaur.” Her expression became grave. “I’m actually really lucky. Both my parents are still alive, they’re happy, healthy, and they love me. Most ponies and other creatures around here don’t get that.” She sighed. “My dad was friends with an Equestrian expatriate who moved here from Zebrica to join the cause. Dad came with him, and he met Mom here. Mom’s a blacksmith. Shortly after he came here, they had me. When I was about six, Colibri showed up. She was still a foal, I guess. Only twelve years old. Her birth parents had sent her to some sort of a camp that was made to ‘fix’ ponies like her. Something run by the Diarchy. They were torturing her, and she escaped.”
“Fix?” Rarity asked, dreading the answer. “Ponies like her?”
“Heartwing says in your time, it was called transgender. Now, the Diarchy ponies just call it sin.” Klieo’s voice dripped with disgust. “Colibri’s birth dad was abusive. He beat her, demanding she ‘act like a stallion’, and bullshit like that. The camp she was in was even worse. She barely escaped.” Klieo shuddered. “You should have seen her when she dragged herself into town. She’d been beaten and whipped. My dad took one look at her and offered to be her new dad. My mom…” Klieo laughed. “When dad brought Colibri home, we had to stop her from haring off to murder Colibri’s birth parents. She’s been my sister ever since.”
“She seems to be doing well now,” Rarity said. She picked up the menu, glancing over the offered options. The fried tofu salad looked quite tempting.
“She’s doing better,” Klieo said slowly. “Her pub’s really successful, and she just got engaged a few weeks ago.”
“Good for her,” Rarity said. A few moments later, Colibri wandered back with their drinks, setting Klieo’s root beer in front of her with a sly look and a waggling of eyebrows.
“Decided what to order?” she asked the two of them. She sounded a bit more confident than before.
“I would just love to try the fried tofu salad, please,” Rarity said politely.
“You know my order, sis,” Klieo said.
“One fried tofu salad, one hot pepper stir fry,” Colibri said. “I’m on it, ladies. Um…” she paused, glancing nervously back and forth between Rarity and Klieo. “When I’ve brought your food back, can I join you for a bit, Miss Rarity? I, uh…”
“I’d love to get to know you better, darling,” Rarity said with her most winning smile. “Your sister says you’ve recently become engaged. I would absolutely love to learn as much as I can about modern wedding dresses. Maybe even help design yours?”
Colibri’s jaw dropped and she froze, staring blankly at Rarity. Seconds passed, and Rarity began wondering if she should say something, until she heard Klieo giggling.
“Please, Miss Rarity, could you not break my sister until she’s gotten our food?” she asked through her laughter. After a moment, Colibri shook her head and shot her sister a dark look.
“Um, yeah, Miss Rarity, that sounds great,” Colibri managed. “I’ll… er… I’ll be back with your orders.” She scampered away.
“Your sister is a bit nervous around me,” Rarity noted. Klieo nodded.
“Faith is a weird thing. Some ponies have a hard time letting go of the stories and ideas that they were taught their entire lives. Some ponies even say that there’s good to be found in the Book of the Saints, even if they have to sift through the bad stuff. Colibri always loved the stories, even if the other stuff hurt. You were always her favorite.”
“I see,” Rarity muttered.
“I’m sorry, Miss Rarity. I wasn’t raised in the faith, so I’m not really familiar with the stories. But most of the ponies here…” Klieo motioned with her hand. Most of the other ponies in the pub were paying attention to their food, but Rarity did catch a few sidelong glances and mumbled conversations as eyes shifted her way. “It might be a while before you can walk down the street without turning heads or making gossip.”
“Well, I did always enjoy being the center of attention,” Rarity said with a small smile, fluffing her mane with one hoof. It was true; she didn’t actually mind the attention too much, she just wished it was for something she had actually done. Well, give it time.
The conversation drifted from these serious matters to their plans and designs for the new boutique. It was refreshing to have a plan for the immediate future, even if Rarity knew at some point it would be interrupted for a more important mission. It added a sense of normalcy to her day while she desperately tried to make sense of her new reality.
“Here you go, ladies,” Colibri said, carefully laying two plates in front of each of them. She was carrying a third, piled with hayfries, cheese, and gravy. She hesitated a bit before setting it down.
“Well, go on,” Rarity encouraged. “Join us, Colibri.”
“It is time for my dinner break,” she admitted, and slid her plate down on the table next to her sister, joining the others at the table. “So…”
“Please, darling. It’s clear you’re rather nervous around me, but I assure you, I am a normal pony just like everypony else. And I meant what I said about designing and creating a stunning wedding dress for you.”
“You really… but I…”
“Think nothing of it, please,” Rarity insisted. “Now, what would it take for you to be more comfortable around me?” If she could get this one pony to stop stammering and acting so nervous around her, maybe Rarity could find a way to do it for all ponies.
“Um, can I ask you some questions? About how things used to be?” Colibri whispered. Rarity smiled and nodded. “Okay. Um. Is it true that one time you fought off an entire army of dog monsters, all by yourself?”
“Oh dear,” Rarity said, laughing. “Oh, please, tell me how I fought them. I’m very curious to hear about it.”
“W-well, in the Book of the Saints it says they were tormenting and raiding ponies, so you chased them into their caves. When they tried to swarm you, you found a narrow chokepoint and forced them to face you one or two at a time, with sword and shield, until they were all defeated or surrendered…” Colibri had to trail off, because Rarity was shaking with laughter.
“Goodness, is that so?” Rarity giggled. “Well, darling, let me tell you the real story. It is much more entertaining than that by far. It began with me and my dear friend Spike the dragon helping me find some gems. You see, Sapphire Shores, the premier musician of my day, was in need of several gem-studded costume changes for an upcoming concert series, and had commissioned yours truly to make them. Unfortunately, while we were searching…”
As she told the story of her encounter with the Diamond Dogs, others in the pub began to listen, gathering around her table. Rarity didn’t mind in the slightest. Indeed, she had quite the attentive audience as she regaled them all with the story. By the time she reached the end, where an entire tribe of Diamond Dogs was begging her to take all of their gems just to leave them alone, the entire pub was rolling with laughter. Rarity felt quite gratified at the results.
“That can’t possibly all be true, can it?” Colibri asked between giggles.
“Swear to Celestia,” Rarity said, crossing her heart with one hoof. “It all happened exactly like I said.”
“There’s no way that’s all true,” Klieo laughed incredulously. Rarity glared at her in mock indignation.
“Are you impugning my honor? Calling me a liar?” she protested, sniggering behind one hoof as she said it. “Why, I have half a mind to…”
“Miss Rarity?” a loud voice interrupted, and all eyes shifted to the huge figure standing in the pub’s doorway. An earth pony, perhaps the largest stallion Rarity had ever seen, was ducked under a door frame that was far too low for him. He wore the yellow armor of the Knights Discordant, a uniform that Rarity learned commanded a great deal of respect around Angel’s Rest. A hush came over the pub. “Sir Heartwing has something he needs to discuss with you.” His voice was concerned. “He said it’s urgent.”
“Of course, Sir…”Rarity paused.
“Who, me? I’m Slate, ma’am.”
“Very well, Sir Slate. Let me settle my bill here, and we’ll be on our way.”
“Very good, ma’am,” Slate said. He trotted over to their table, and Colibri stood. Even though the Knight towered over her, he leaned down and the two ponies gently nuzzled each other.
“Oh!” Rarity cooed at the obvious love implicit in the gesture. “So Sir Slate is your fiancé!” She reached for her bit bag and the stack of money Terminus Flash had given her for everyday expenses.
“Yes, he…” Colibri paused, noticing Rarity reaching for her bits. “Nope. You don’t need to—”
“Oh I insist, darling. After the delightful meal and the wonderful time, you deserve it,” Rarity interrupted, placing the payment on the table. “Now I must bid you and your lovely sister goodbye. Do come by as soon as our boutique is open and we shall start speaking about your dress, hmm?” She waved to the two sisters, and followed the gigantic Knight out of the pub.
“This fiancé of yours is quite the delight,” Rarity commented as she and the slate-grey earth pony Knight trotted down the street.
“Yeah,” Sir Slate said dreamily, a blush suffusing his face. “She’s great. Whatever story you were telling, thank you. You were always her favorite Saint, and even now she loves the stories. Even if they are fake, they’re inspiring, you know?”
“Klieo told me a bit about her history,” Rarity said softly, and Slate scowled.
“I’d buck her sperm-donor dad to the moon, if I could,” he growled, and Rarity shuddered. A single look at Slate’s giant, muscular legs convinced Rarity that he might be able to do it. “That’s why I became a Knight, you know? Cuz that way I can keep innocent ponies like Colibri safe from anypony that’s gonna hurt her.”
“I can see why anypony would feel safe, standing next to you,” Rarity commented, and Slate blushed. “So. Do you have any idea what Heartwing needs?”
“Nah,” Slate replied. “Just sent us out to collect you, and the rest of the council.”
“Council?”
“The ponies in charge. Sir Heartwing, Sir Cobalt, Ninelives, Top Brass, and Mayor Cactus Flower,” he answered. Rarity gave him a curious look. “Everypony assumes that the big guy, Heartwing, is in charge of everything. He doesn’t like that, so he tries to spread power out as much as he can.” Slate laughed. “He thinks we don’t realize he’s doing it. Everypony knows what he’s doing, and loves him for it.”
“I’ve noticed you all hold him in very high regard,” Rarity said solemnly. Slate nodded.
“He’s one of the only things keeping the idea of Equestria alive, ma’am. Most of us would follow him to the grave, if that’s what he needed.”
The casual reference to death made Rarity’s breath catch in her throat. She gulped, thinking for a moment how out of place a sentence like that would have been in her Equestria.
“I-I see,” she stammered quietly, then trotted to catch up. “Your loyalty does you credit.”
“He’s earned it,” Slate said softly. The two of them walked the rest of the way in thoughtful silence.
The building the council met in was nondescript, almost impossible to tell apart from the rest of the buildings in the cave city. The only identifying mark was the placard in front, simply reading ‘City Hall’. The building was made of beige bricks, and the only real decoration was a stained glass window, visible on the second floor. It was Fluttershy; her eyes were closed, her wings spread, and her mouth open in song as birds orbited about her.
“It’s gorgeous,” Rarity choked, feeling a lump in her throat as she gazed at the beautiful form of her best friend, frozen forever in glass.
“You knew her, didn’t you?” Slate remarked softly. Rarity nodded wordlessly. “Is it true she… tamed him? That he was evil, and he changed for her love?”
“It wasn’t love, not at first,” Rarity whispered. “She had a way of making everypony around her want to be better. It even affected a god of chaos. Ponies just wanted to be around her. She made us feel… safe.” She sighed. “Before I… disappeared, I suppose, he was just beginning to romance her. I’m so sorry I missed that. It would have been a story for the ages.”
“The big guy doesn’t like to talk about her,” Slate murmured. He shook his head sharply. “Sorry. We all wonder, you know? Wonder about the mare who was so amazing that the big guy is still pining for her a thousand years later.”
“I’d be happy to tell you all about her later,” Rarity offered, “when I have more time. It seems you and your fiancé both would appreciate some real stories from the past.”
“I think we’d both like that, ma’am,” Slate said as he led the both of them to the large, wooden double doors of the building.
“There’s no need to call me ma’am, Sir Slate,” Rarity said with a smile. “I’m going to be working with your future sister-in-law, after all.”
“It’s only polite, ma’am. This way, please,” Slate said gently.
The doors opened into a spacious atrium, complete with a wide, circular desk. Most ponies in the atrium were wearing the yellow armor of the Knights, a sight Rarity had grown familiar with over the last few weeks. Some of the armor was in other colors, the colors of her friends, but with yellow bands painted around the forehooves and barrels of the armor. Rarity hadn’t yet asked what that meant. The various Knights stopped and glanced her way as soon as she entered, and Rarity saw more than a few bows or respectful nods.
“The council room is upstairs,” Slate said, showing Rarity to a narrow staircase leading up to the second floor. Across from the top of the staircase was a large wooden door that was wide open. Rarity could see to the other side, where light shone through the stained glass window from the outside, casting a brilliant rainbow of colors into the large room.
Heartwing was the only pony in the room, sitting slumped in a chair at the head of a long, oval table. He brightened when Rarity approached, motioning for her to have a seat.
“Thanks, Slate. Can you close the door when you leave? And let the other council members know I need just a moment with Miss Rarity when they arrive. It shouldn’t take long.”
“Yes, sir.” Slate saluted, and shut the door behind him as he slipped out of the room. Rarity walked cautiously over to Heartwing. He looked tired, though he smiled at her.
“Take a seat, Rarity. I have something I need to ask you before the council shows up.”
“Yes?” Rarity said as she took her seat.
“I’m going to cut to the chase. Rarity, I’d like to make you a member of Angel’s Rest’s council. The leading governing body of the city.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Rarity asked, rubbing at her ears with her hooves. “I’m sure I completely misheard you, darling.” He couldn’t have possibly said what she had heard.
“You heard correctly, Rarity,” Heartwing said. “I’d like to make you a member of the council. It will be provisional, until your name is put on the ballot of the next general election. Then, if you’re elected, you’ll be permanent.”
“But…why?” Rarity blubbered, confused.
“The Tree of Harmony gave you the task of finding the Elements and bearers, Rarity. I’ll do everything I can to support you, but I think the Tree meant it to be your mission, not mine.”
“Why not you?” Rarity leaned forward, staring intently at Heartwing. “You understand this world far better than I do. You have hundreds of loyal ponies that would follow you to the end. You even seem to have some ideas about where to find the Elements. Why me?”
“I can’t be sure,” Heartwing began, “but I believe the Tree meant for you to lead. Why wait until you were revealed to give us this mission, after all? I have been fighting for Equestria since I awoke, and the Tree waited until now to reveal itself.” He sounded certain. “It was waiting for you.”
“You said yourself that I’m no longer connected to my Element, Heartwing,” Rarity argued.
“That’s true,” Heartwing said. “Though we’ll need to find the Element of Generosity to be sure. But I don’t think that matters. I think you’re the best pony to take the lead with this quest, with me to back you up.”
“Explain,” Rarity said, eyes narrowing.
“You’re… untouched by this conflict. I’ve been fighting against the Diarchy for centuries, Rarity. My hooves are stained with blood, no matter what my intentions are. But the Tree isn’t sending you to defeat the Diarchy, it’s sending you to restore Harmony. It needs a pony who hasn’t been… tainted.”
“Surely you cannot be suggesting that…”
“Rarity, don’t,” Heartwing interrupted. “I know who I am. I know what I’ve done. Whatever my intentions were, I’ve fought and I’ve killed. You’re… pure.”
“Heartwing, I…” Rarity began, before a knock on the door interrupted her. Heartwing held up a hoof to her to pause whatever she was going to say.
“Yes?” he called out loudly.
“Sir, the rest of the council has gathered,” Slate spoke through the door. “Are you ready for them to come in?”
“Are we?” Heartwing said softly, and Rarity nodded nervously.
“Come on in,” he said. The door opened, and four other creatures entered the council room. One, the armored griffon Cobalt, was familiar to Rarity. The others were strangers, and all three eyed her curiously.
“Rarity, I’d like to introduce you to the Angel’s Rest council. You’ve met Cobalt, my second-in-command,” Heartwing said. Cobalt nodded at Rarity with a small smile.
“This is Mayor Cactus Flower.” He gestured to a middle-aged green unicorn mare with a pink mane, who shook Rarity’s hoof. “She’s the elected civilian representative.”
He moved down the line. “Next is Top Brass, who is in charge of our local defense force and non-Knight military forces.” The ancient looking brass-colored earth pony stallion shook hooves with Rarity.
“And finally, Ninelives, who is in charge of our intelligence service.” Ninelives was a scrawny zebra stallion, covered from head to hoof in dozens of small scars, burns, and other disfigurations, none of which detracted from his charismatic smile. He enthusiastically shook Rarity’s hoof.
“A pleasure to meet you, Miss Rarity,” the zebra said, while the others nodded. “Sir Heartwing has told us much about you. The real you, that is, and not the make-believe one in the Book.”
“I’m really going to have to read that book one day,” Rarity muttered, as the council members filtered into the room and took their seats around the table.
“I am sorry to interrupt your business, but I have received some distressing news, and we need to move quickly,” Heartwing began without preamble. “First, you are all familiar with what happened in Manehatten. Rarity, I have filled them in with all the details of the mission the Tree of Harmony gave to you.” Rarity’s eyes narrowed at the second-pony pronoun, but she let it stand. “I’ve also told them about the third pony present, the Diarchy Knight named Emberglow. What I haven’t mentioned is this: I believe Emberglow to be one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony we were asked to find.
“After we led Miss Rarity out of the cave, Emberglow decided to return to the Diarchy, to confront an old mentor about some of the things she had learned.” Heartwing sighed, and around the table each council member made their own dismayed noises. “Ninelives, you know this next bit. I’ve had some of our intelligence agents keeping an eye on her, and for the last few weeks, she’s been safe. But now she’s flown off to confront her old mentor, Sir Steadfast Word.”
There were murmurs around the table, and Cobalt swore loudly, earning a harsh glare from Top Brass. Rarity’s face screwed up in a look of confusion.
“Who is this Sir Steadfast Word?” she asked.
“A real bastard,” Ninelives cut in, before glancing at Heartwing. Heartwing motioned for the zebra to go ahead. “He’s a Master Inquisitor, very high up. Basically, fourth in line to be Grand Master of the Knights Mystics. But he’s canny. Smart and charismatic. He’s been more successful than any of his fellows in uncovering and combating my agents. And he’s got ambitions. He’s cultivating influence among the other orders, and I think he’s plotting some sort of coup within his own order.”
“And Emberglow knows all this?” Rarity asked. Ninelives shrugged, and looked back at Heartwing
“I don’t think so,” Heartwing shook his head. “She didn’t seem the type to be a willing participant in manipulative political machinations. She seemed far too…” He paused, twirling one hoof idly. “…naïve. She pretty much flew straight into the dragon’s maw, so to speak. She’s been captured.” The council creatures looked down, several shaking their heads.
Rarity’s breath froze in her chest; her mind conjured images of the sweet, confused mare who had been there when she’d first awoken. From the looks on the other council member’s faces, Emberglow was nearly guaranteed a horrid fate.
“Is there something we can do?” she asked hesitantly.
“That’s why I called this meeting,” Heartwing answered, his voice solemn. “Rarity, I’ve been asked to lead these ponies, so I have to do what’s best for the whole of Angel’s Rest, and the Knights Discordant. I can’t go haring off on a rescue mission, whatever I might want. Especially to rescue an unproven asset. I just can’t, Rarity.”
“So you’re going to do nothing?” Rarity asked, her indignation growing.
“No. I’m going to do something, Rarity,” Heartwing said. “Council Members, this mission that the Tree has given us is important, even essential, to our survival and the survival of our cause. I propose that we instate Rarity as a provisionary member of our council, until such time as a formal vote can be called. She will be in charge of all things related to the Tree of Harmony, the search for the Elements and their bearers, and of the return of alicorns to Equestria.”
Rarity glanced around at the various council members, mostly complete strangers. Cobalt was nodding supportively, and Ninelives grinned. Top Brass eyed her speculatively, though he didn’t appear hostile. The last, Mayor Cactus Flower, nodded slowly and carefully.
It was on the tip of Rarity’s tongue to say no. To refuse. To turn him down. This wasn’t her fight. Her war. She was a fashionista! A businessmare! She…
And then she felt it. The faint rustling of ghostly wings. A familiar scent on the air, the smell of musty library books and scrolls scorched by dragon fire. A ghostly hoof on her shoulder, real enough to make Rarity turn and look, expecting for a heartbeat to see a familiar encouraging smile and sparkling purple eyes. There was nothing. Rarity gulped, turning her head back to face the expectant looking council members.
“I’ll do it. I-if you’ll have me, that is,” Rarity declared. She wondered if anypony else had seen or heard anything. “Only, I don’t know exactly what it means to be on this council.”
“The council votes on all matters of governance and importance in Angel’s Rest,” Heartwing explained. “Although we usually defer to each other in our own spheres of influence. And when the matter involves what you’re in charge of, your vote breaks ties.”
“He makes it sound far more complicated than it is,” Top Brass admitted, his gruff voice oddly soft. He shifted his eyes to Heartwing. “Usually we defer to the voice of greatest wisdom on the council.” Every other eye landed on Heartwing as well, and he looked uncomfortable.
“Shall we vote on the matter, then?” Heartwing called out. “All in favor of Rarity’s provisional appointment to our council?”
Every hoof went up. The confidence both terrified and gratified her. “I suppose I don’t need to call for an opposing vote, then,” Heartwing murmured.
“So, Council Member Rarity,” Ninelives began. “Sir Heartwing has suggested that your mission is essential to our survival, and that this Knight, Emberglow, may be key. And also that she may be in need of a rescue. How would you like to proceed?”
“I apologize that I’m not exactly familiar with your…” Rarity received a sidelong glance from Heartwing and corrected herself. “…or rather, our resources and capabilities. If Miss Emberglow truly is one of the Elements of Harmony, we need to rescue her.” Her confidence grew with each word, and she once again thought she heard the rustling of feathers around her. Well, Twilight darling, as long as I have your approval… “Tell me what we know about where she’s being held.”
For a moment, she was reminded of chats she’d had with various employees over the years. Sassy Saddles, Coco, even Plaid Stripes. While these ponies (and griffon, and zebra) didn’t necessarily work for her, she realized they now looked to her for authority on this matter.
“It’s a camp near the frontlines of the griffon-Diarchy war,” Ninelives said. “I only have a single agent in the camp. That’s how we knew Emberglow was captured. It doesn’t appear to be a regular army camp; rather, Sir Steadfast seems to have deployed near the border to search for something. We have been unable to ascertain what, but our source did say he was looking into the burial place of one Gallus Freewind.”
“Gallus Freewind?” Rarity asked, looking at Heartwing. “Surely that couldn’t be the same Gallus that attended the School of Friendship?”
“Yes, that’s him,” Heartwing said. “He made quite a name for himself in the years after you disappeared. Became quite the adventurer, though he always kept in touch with his friends. He’s a hero to the griffons now, and he made sure to pass on the lessons you six taught him.” Heartwing reached out, offering a hoof-bump to Cobalt, who returned it with a fisted claw and a smirk. “Gallus is the reason the griffons and I have an officer exchange program. His writings and philosophies led to the griffons being open to an alliance between my ponies and their military forces, which is how I ended up with a great number two.”
“We still tell stories about The Freewind,” Cobalt said. “I’d love to hear some new ones from you, miss Rarity. When we have time, of course. But why would this Steadfast be looking for Gallus’ tomb? Everygriff knows he’s buried in Griffonstone.”
“I don’t know why, but whatever Sir Steadfast is looking for, it’s small,” Ninelives said. “My source says the three Knights he brought to camp with him have been studying gem finding spells.”
“Gem finding?” Heartwing said. “He’s looking for the Elements, too, then.”
“Apparently he brought a small box with him, that he retrieved from the depths of the Mystics’ vaults in New Canterlot City,” Ninelives continued. “Small enough to hold a gem. He never lets it out of his sight.”
“Hmm,” Heartwing mused. “Rarity, you’re still able to cast your gem finding spell, right?”
“Cast the spell that earned me my cutie mark?” Rarity scoffed. “Darling, you insult me.”
“Sir,” Cobalt objected, his face turning worried. “You’re thinking about sending an untested civilian into a Mystic camp on a rescue mission?”
“Untested civilian?” Heartwing scoffed. “Rarity and her friends have seen combat, Cobalt.”
“Of a sort, I suppose,” Rarity admitted.
“Besides,” Heartwing continued before Rarity could say anything else. “I don’t believe she should go alone. A squadron of Knights, at least.”
“I think subtlety is the correct approach,” Ninelives cut in. “Fewer Knights, more sneaking.”
“That’s always your answer,” Top Brass scoffed. “Though you might be right, this time.”
“I would certainly prefer not to be engaged in some violent melee,” Rarity agreed. “You have an idea for a more subtle approach?” She was met with several grins from around the council table.
“I may have a gift for illusion potions,” Ninelives said proudly. “One sip can change the color of your mane. Two changes your coat. An entire flask can even make your horn disappear.”
“My mane?” Rarity gasped nervously, reaching up with one hoof to bounce her elegant curls. “I’m not entirely sure…”
“Relax, Miss Rarity. The transformation is purely temporary,” Ninelives assured.
“We have the beginnings of a rescue plan, then,” Heartwing said. “We only need to decide who will be going with Miss Rarity. I, for one, think…”
“No,” Top Brass interrupted.
“But…”
“No,” Ninelives added, smirking at Heartwing. Heartwing opened his mouth to argue.
“No,” Mayor Cactus Flower interjected with an eye roll.
“You will be absolutely outvoted in this matter, Sir Heartwing,” Cobalt said. “You are far too valuable to be risked on something like this. I will go in your stead.”
Rarity looked at the griffon soldier, who cut quite a martial figure in his polished silver armor. He was lean and muscled, and carried himself with graceful confidence. She realized she could probably do much worse.
“Who else?” Ninelives asked. A pained look crossed Heartwing’s face, and he looked away. Cobalt nodded.
“What?” Rarity asked, sensing that an unspoken conversation was passing between Heartwing and his council.
“You’ll need some long-range support as well,” Heartwing said nervously. “And that means Terminus Flash. If he’s willing.”
“You know he will be,” Cobalt said. “Eagerly, even, if it means you’ll stay behind.” Rarity flinched as Heartwing swore under his breath. The thought of leading one of her new friends into battle filled her with nervousness and guilt, but Rarity sensed the importance of this mission.
“I imagine I will feel quite safe surrounded by such valiant Knights as Sir Cobalt and Sir Terminus,” Rarity said. “Now, if you please, I have more questions about the risks we face, and how we can best mitigate them.”
And the pieces fall into place. It's great to see Colibri doing well after her ordeal. I continue to applaud basically everything you're doing with the plot and characters. I wonder, what did happen to Twilight? And where's Celestia? Still, I would change one thing here. With the name and the lack of representation so far, I was expecting Ninelives to be an Abyssinian. Having a sly cat as the spymaster would've been more fitting, I feel.
10597778
Thanks for the reminder. I totally forgot to mention Colibri's side story.
Hey guys! A couple of notes for this chapter:
Klieo's name is inspired by Clio, one of the 9 Muses in Greek mythology. Specifically, she has ties to history, fame, and renown. I thought it appropriate.
Slate the stallion is the size of Troubleshoes.
Colibri's brief history can be found in a side story, A Word for Ponies Like You. Yes, it's tagged incomplete, because I'd really like to add a chapter someday about how she and Slate met. I don't know when that will come about, though.
Merry Crimbus boss, thanks for the chapter!
Soooo gooood!!!!!!!
And ooooh force ghost twilight!!!!
Will we see gilda? She's ma fave!!!
Jesus, we get it, "Diarchy Bad." Does Colibri have a reason to exist outside of that, or is this just more puppy kicking but with a diversity tickbox attached? If there's going to be some actual plot involving her and her beau, great. Otherwise, she'd be better off not included since at this point things are getting clumsy and heavy-handed.
A compelling foe has redeeming qualities, and right now you seem determined to knock down every single one the Diarchy has going for it. Which is a shame, since their grey status was much more interesting than the stark black and white kick the story has been following recently.
Edit: I think part of what irks me is that "Oh btw Colibri is trans" is just treated like... Nothing. No mention of mismatch between Rarity seeing a stallion dressed/acting like a mare, no exploration beyond "oh yeah she's trans and her daddy beat her, very sad. Diarchy still bad, everyone!" No stumbling, no real awkwardness or confusion. No mention of magic that might be helping her cope with dysphoria. Just... Nothing, besides a big old infodump about a character I don't give two shits for because you've given me no reason to give a shit about her. What is she outside of that? What's she add to the story? What is her purpose and does she beat a dead horse to death? You've written some lovely characters and interactions before, but this one was stiff as a board.
If she has a bigger role to play later, I'd strongly recommend introducing her much more slowly, without the big infodump. Otherwise, she's just a cardboard cutout with a name tag that reads, "hi I'm Colibri and I'm trans and that's about it for my character in this story. I make good window dressing though!"
The question comes back to her raison d'etre. If she's meant to highlight Diarchy bad, then whoo, great job! You've successfully beaten the horse dead in a clumsy, heavy-handed manner I did expect to see 280k words in. You can do better.
If this is supposed to be an introduction to a major character who is supposed to be nuanced, and interesting, and draw us in, it did not work as intended. Infodumps don't make for interesting or compelling character introductions, especially when paired with the Nth variation on "Diarchy bad, guys! I mean it! They're super evil, they've got conversion camps and everything!" Just... Stop. Kicking. Puppies.
Trying to give every character a life story is great and all, but at some point they just become little blurbs to be ignored/forgotten because they aren't main characters and don't really matter to the narrative. If Colibri is supposed to turn into a major character, she deserved a better introduction than that, which I KNOW you are capable of.
Edit II: Shallow. I dislike how morally shallow it's become in the last couple of chapters. Been trying to put my finger on it, now I have.
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Hey, so whoever's downvoting Pillbug's comment, please don't. They may come off as a jerk, but their insight is super helpful to me as a writer. Criticism is both welcome and encouraged, because I want this story to be as great as it can be.
10600924
I wouldn't worry about it; at the end of the day it's just a little red number, and I'm not doing it for the approval of the audience, I'm doing it for you and for the story. Dissent and naysaying generally gets a few red ticks, and I'm well aware that I can be abrasive.
If you need some more detailed feedback, let me know, but the issues I've been seeing going back to some complicated show vs tell and having a reason for everything you put in a story. There's no one on this site who'd look at the Diarchy and say, "Golly Gee Whiz, what a fair and liberal regime! Very progressive!" so it's unnecessary at this point in the story to tack on more reasons for the Diarchy to be evil. We as readers KNOW that, so you don't have to coddle us and point out the sky is blue or that villains do bad things. We already know that the Diarchy and its agents are the antagonists. What made this story so powerful and compelling was that even within this ultra-religious institution there were good people and shades of morality.
Emberglow was a good person, but struggled with her faith and sexuality and what that meant to her and her place in society. Steadfast was a strong and intelligent mentor figure who had some moral ambiguity; he was on Emberglow's side and wanted the best for her and for the Diarchy and its ponies, he wanted to do good even as he was constrained by his beliefs and inter-institutional rivalries and politics. Emberglow gave us a surface level introduction to the system by someone who believed in it, and then Steadfast gave us a more realpolitik point of view. We got some fantastic complication through Bubblegum or whatever the beastiality mare's name was, because she acted as someone who consistently chafed under the rules but was still clearly a decent person, helping to highlight how repressive and totalitarian the regime was. The inquisition stuff afterwards was a bit heavy-handed, but it helped introduce us and Emberglow more deeply into the dangerous political and social game underlying the Diarchy's elite enforcers.
We were getting a very close view of Emberglow's crises of faith EVEN WITHOUT Discord coming into the mix. It was great, and it let you show off the strength of your character writing. Fucking loved that, really. The arc with Brightblade introduced Emberglow to someone who was absolutist and much more black/white morally, and gave her a reflection and a foil to play off of, as her more liberal view battled his more authoritarian one. That was great! We got to see how she was growing into her own as a person separate from the strict prescriptions of her faith, especially as her romance bloomed with the gun pony whose name I've forgotten because I'm shit at names. She was directly going against the commanding authority and her own faith, and you exhibited that growth FANTASTICALLY well to that point.
Things were pretty alright with Discord and all that, and I thought what happened in the tunnels was decently handled, because with a reveal like that there's no way things aren't going to be a bit heavy.
Buuuut then we've got Emberglow's return to the Diarchy and things go sideways. She's previously shown herself to be an intelligent character, so her waltzing up to Steadfast and then REFUSING to at least nominally agree with him to spare her capture and torture... I know it's a direct hint that she's the Element of Honesty or something, but that was a dumb move and there's a reason that I hoped that she loses a wing for it.
Steadfast is a whole other can of worms. Previous to this, he was a very interesting character, as he was a voice of REASONABLE authority within the Diarchy. The regime might be a repressive, fanatically religious one, but he gave us a reasonable voice looking to improve it from within, or at least hope for it. He was a company man, but an ally and someone that knew there were tradeoffs between faith and pragmatism. The sudden shift to "JOIN ME, AND TOGETHER WE SHALL RULE THE GALAXY." was ill-fitted and removed one of the potential gray areas that made the Diarchy into a more complex space. Hell, removing Emberglow's Knight Vigilant friend from the Knights was a move that while neat and all, severely weakened your options for keeping the Diarchy and the story less black/white, because we KNOW he's a good character, so his remaining in the Diarchy would have brought up extensive moral complications and social fu that you've shown yourself to be strong in navigating previously. But srsly Steadfast going all power hungry maniac "for the greater good! but really just me and mine" was severely disappointing and a backstep from his character in terms of complexity and options. And then Brightblade turns into a deranged, torture-happy fanatic, rather than continuing his strong character development and being conflicted over what happened to Emberglow. Meh.
I digress.
Going back to Emberglow: Character decisions must have stakes and consequences, and the kind of stupid fuck up that is waltzing into the camp of your potential enemy and then REFUSING to join him when the alternative is obviously death, when you can just go along with it for a bit until you can escape is something that deserves a permanent reminder for the rest of her tale. Scarring, trauma that gets called back to and wakes her up with nightmares, losing a wing or receiving a crippled limb, something other than "Emberglow gets captured, then is rescued, making off with the Element unscathed."
I'm sure we'll lose a couple of redshirt characters that only just got introduced, but that doesn't matter, because they don't really mean anything. If Slate gets killed, or the griffin, or any of the characters we JUST met, there's no real impact because we just met them. We haven't known them long enough to get invested like we did we Emberglow's budding girlfriend (still a bit irked at how she got so doe-eyed over Rarity despite having just seen her crush killed). They don't really mean anything to us, or to the story. Big meh.
I suppose you could introduce some characters that we're supposed to feel bad for and then kill them off, Slate stands out as a good option here, or perhaps Termi or whatever Discord's boyfriend is called, but again, no REAL stakes or REAL consequences for the story or the main characters. Discord might get some development from Termi dying, but it's still not an especially meaningful death.
The Diarchy is bad. We know it, you did a good job of showing it. You don't need to parrot every issue with Catholicism or religious folk or what have you to get the point across. I don't give a damn if you've got trans characters and gay characters and whoever, but they had better be characters who just happen to be gay, rather than GAY GAY I'M SO GAY LOOK AT ME AND HOW GAY I AM, AM I GAY OR WHAT? Or whatever diversity tickbox you want to go with. Emberglow is a great example of a character who happens to be gay; she's a person first, and gay second. She's complex, believable, and not defined solely by that aspect of her identity. You don't write a character and define them by "THIS CHARACTER IS STRAIGHT. SO STRAIGHT! LOOK AT HOW HETEROSEXUAL AND STRAIGHT THIS CHARACTER IS, IM GOING TO MAKE THEIR ENTIRE CHARACTER REVOLVE AROUND THEM BEING STRAIGHT." It's just a part of who they are, next to WHO they are as a person. Make a character a person first, with the identity second, and they come off as a decent character. Identity first leaves things unfinished and bland. This takes TIME and effort, which is why infodumping to introduce a character whose main claim to fame is being oppressed by the big bad no-good dirty rotten Diarchy (I MEAN IT, THEY'RE SO BAD AND NOT GOOD, GUYS!) leaves a sour taste because there's plenty of identity there, but no character, no development, and certainly none of the awkwardness and social interactions that could LEAD to character development and exploration.
Colibri.... Well, you already know my feelings on that.
TL;DR- Stop with the black and white morality, go back to the good gray areas, and make dumb decisions have permanent consequences if you're going to give a character the idiot ball to begin with. Show us the Diarchy is bad through events and actions, dont Tell us they're bad through clumsily introduced characters no one is going to care about, who may or may not be tangentially related to the latest redshirt. DON'T preach at us.
Edit: Every character might have a story, but you as author CANNOT afford to tell us every character's story in one narrative, because you risk overwhelming readers with too much extraneous detail. If they don't contribute to the main narrative, or require infodumping to be introduced, then don't bother. Put time and effort into it if the character is worth something to the story; save it for a side story otherwise.
Edit II: For my part, I had hoped that Emberglow could return and spend a few chapters reexploring the Diarchy with her newly opened eyes and through the lens of doubt. It would be a great time to explore the GOOD parts of the Diarchy as well as give her more time to develop independence from her scripture and faith. Steadfast and what'shisname in the Knights Vigilant could've acted as foils to her doubt, one for faith and friendship, another from pragmatism and authority. Ultimately she'd slip up or get caught somehow, perhaps when discovering that Mana batteries use unicorn horns or something, this bringing us to the current moment where she's rescued/escapes with the Mystic's Element of Harmony. Your strength is in your characters, so spend time with them. The fast pace of the last few chapters has not been doing you any favors.
Edit III: Nuanced development and explorations of your characters, especially those among the Diarchy, have been a strong point in your writing, and play a large role in what made the early parts of the story so compelling. They're not just all bad, evil, mustache-twirlers. I'm hoping we get to see some of that in the rebellion as well. Right now, they're total paragons, which is a waste of your ability to explore nuance and definitely a waste of potential development and growth. They're completely welcoming and accepting of homosexuality and LGBT? Weren't they recruited from homophobic knights and the Diarchy? What about ruthless pragmatism necessary to survive against overwhelming odds? Where's the homophobic rebel who we gradually see change his mind and become more accepting of LGBT as he fights the Diarchy for his own reasons? What are some compromises and sacrifices Discord has made over the centuries for the sake of survival? Right now the rebels are the morally dull element in the equation outside the unfortunate black/white shift with the Diarchy. Perhaps there's a darker side to the rebellion that prompts the Elements to break from the rebellion and go their own way in the salvation of ponykind? What are some weaknesses to such an open society? Does the heavy skew of gay characters complicate renewal of younger generations through low birth rates, especially since the rebellion has a much lower population than the totality of the Diarchy? Are there holdouts of belief and religious fervor and various factions within the rebellion that are vying for power, like in the Diarchy? Etc., Etc. Paragons and black/white is boring, so mix it up a little.
Edit IV: I keep thinking of more of these. Colibri and the black/white trends aside, why are Discord and the Council even CONSIDERING sending Rarity into a camp where, if discovered, she will be tortured, mutilated, and die a horrible and painful death? Rarity is soft as they come compared to these knights and combat, and she'd make a much more effective diplomat and morale booster. She hasn't received any training whatsoever, so she's an unknown quantity in a fight, let alone stealthy sneaky missions into a culture she's almost entirely ignorant of. If she's supposed to use social fu and bluff her way into a rescue, she's screwed, because she doesn't know ANYTHING about modern Diarchy behavioral norms, and there's not going to be enough time to train her. All she is is a liability, and a high risk gamble with the Rebellion's second most powerful piece of propaganda, gem finding spell be damned. Imagine the impact it'd have on the Diarchy if the rebels revealed they'd recovered one of THE SAINTS. They could get the whole of the Knights Radiant to defect, potentially, or at least deal severe morale and scriptural blows to the Diarchy by broadcasting what she knows, so on. Srsly.
Adding a ping to notify extra edits and thoughts.
10601020
Pillbug brings up a good point. The best part of this story has been the moral ambiguity the Diarchy as a whole and the characters as individuals. Its similar to the trolley problem; where there is no clear cut answer but a philosophical question of how do you deal with a dilemma where there is no good outcome. Yes, we know that it is a distopia, but the ponies living in it seem to be happy and caring. How can such a terrible system exist when ponies like Emberglow's parents are so kind and understanding?
I personally think it would have more sense for Emberglow to seek out the Mare in her dreams (Luna) who basically first sent her down this path. Luna is an outside force who, as far as Emberglow knows, is neither part of the Diarchy nor the heretics. This would send her back to Canterlot where she would assume the answers would be irrefutable because it is the most holy of holy in the Diarchy.
Overall, I think it can be best summed up by thinking of it as a lens that we use to view the story. As a reader, my only knowledge of the characters and events is what the author writes down and tells me. I can only imagine and speculate on the information given and guess on what is not there. Where as, the writer has background information, ideas, story arcs still pending, and elements they might still have yet too hint at. The pieces to the puzzle we have are not the same and because of that, the image we see does not always match.
Still, I think the story is great and I am just ecstatic to see another chapter out.
Disclaimer: Tinfoil hat time. I still think Emberglow might ascended to be an alicorn or is being assisted by the magic of Twilight. I don't have any real proof but I think its a cool theory.
10604380
Whatever element she is, its related to the element they have on hand.
I understand it's the holidays, but any chance of an update this weekend? If not, no problem, I just keep checking back in and hoping.
10611224
I intend to soon, but Chapter 28 needed some extra love. I don't have an ETA just yet, though.
As Sun Tsu wrote: "Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
Rarity is a tactical genious!
Or you know, just extremely annoying.
A very interesting chapter. An odd choice of companions for Rarity though. Sending a gryphon into a camp of ponies who dislike gryphons, a camp close to the warfront against the gryphons seems needlessly provocative for a mission built on subterfuge.
This is The Freewind. The Diarchy's reckoning has come.
Just stopped by to say I'm loving the story so far, and not sure if you were going for it, but your reference to The Freewind reminded me of Half Life 2. If you know you know— if not, that's fine too.
11061114
Hahahaha, I also immediately imagined Gallus wearing a hazard suit, swinging around a crowbar, when I read that
He even has the same initials...
Lol. Poor Discord.