- Member Since 29th Jan, 2020
- offline last seen Yesterday
DeathToPonies
sup! im really kind and love the show and its charaters but you know how it be when those tingly feelings get involved. like my style? talk to me about custom stories and comissions!
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What are "feet" doing in a story not marked "human" or "anthro"? I'm going to pretend that this was the problem that is getting you downvoted into the ground and not the more obvious yet less valid reasons.
11342777
yeah honestly thats pretty much it, but the REAL twist is thats NOT a fake tag and is actually a spoiler for an event later dont think too hard about it BRO
Mental illness is a hell of a drug.
Where can I get some?
11342780
ill level with you man i got some places. but its gonna require reading. if you are the kind of person to disagree or downvote something based on themes instead of content it may be not for you!!!
11342784
Meh, I'll still laugh at the expense of the deranged.
11342788
thats fine, there will be stuff to laugh at in this story for sure. with subject matter this horrifying and grim, it helps to inject some serious black humor into it. however, as an improving writer, i hope to have you feel other emotions like fear, sadness, and connection to characters. if you do decide to read along laughing, i hope you enjoy the story i have planned more than you might expect! im taking this story a lot more serious than its predecessor
11342791
I would advise working on trying to elicit emotions other than disgust or contempt. It's not a good idea to produce products that are likely to make the readers resent you.
11342794
oh, i do! thats kind of what i meant in my previous comment. this story in particular im trying to tell a more serious story, with actual written characters and motivation! its why im hoping people give it a shot and maybe be surprised by the quality of writing. alas, comparing the dislikes to views, it seems some are disliking without reading it…
i guess that makes me sad. if i saw a story with tags i didnt like, id just ignore it…its just lame to put thumbs down disingenuously like that. what if you’re surprised? if you don’t like my writing, i like to read critical comments as to why…yknow? thanks for your comments regardless.
Not giving this a positive or negative rating because it's not my thing and therefore not really in my interest to give it an up or downvote. However, I did in fact read it. I am not saying this to be rude, but I actually thought this was pretty funny in a kind of dark humor sort of way. Was it intentional? It has this kind of over the top, comical absurdity.
Such as this. Twilight being asked for a plan and just flatly stating "Well is anyone offering to die?"
And how hilariously matter-of-fact this is. How arrogant and over the top, like a parody of Rarity's character, really makes this line great.
11342809
thanks for the feedback!
as for twilight’s response here - its rather dry, bleak, and hopeless. note the “nearly choking up”. she doesn’t really expect a serious answer here. she stays emotionless through most of this, because shes completely in shock that celestia would ask something like this - while still trying to keep a cool face as the leader. she knows that if she breaks, so does everyone else, even though they basically already are.
what’s kind of interesting here is that i’m attempting to write these characters as in-character as possible, with one exception - they perfectly accept celestia’s once-a-century bloodlust. if you read the prequel story, you’d know this rarity is a bit more accepting of it than even others. in general though, a lot of this is personal - i enjoy depicting rarity as heartless or cruel in nature at her core, at least sometimes. thats more of a me thing, so i can admit shes the most ooc here.
11342809
as for “over the top comical absurdity” - not as much as some of my other stuff! “beyond her limit” is what i regard as my most ridiculous, funny story. then you have the story about sweetie that preceded this one, which is more straight up a porn story. this one is intended to take this concept a bit more seriously and explore how these characters each process devastating circumstances.
11342814
She is indeed portrayed as a vain whore in her introductory scene, but over the course of the first season she definitely became my favorite pony out of them all.
11342822
shes my favorite aside from twilight! my favorite episodes invlude rarity investigates (FUCK wind rider) and made in manehatten. i think she has some of the best episodes! but i also love having fun with twisting characters into warped versions of themselves to fit trippy narratives, especially if the challenge ie added to keep their other traits!
Oh well, at least Fluttershy has Discord on her side.
11342884
heck yeah she does! and he doesnt seem too happy…
LOL
...WELL THEN! Color me interested!
At least until the actual torture stuff happens. In which case I'll either skip ahead, or stop altogether if it hits a point of nothing but torture.
Man I've missed this kind of stuff. People don't do gratuitous suffering often nowadays.
11343025
hey, cool! thanks for giving it a chance.
11343116
what have i done to deserve this aaaaaaa
out of character for cannon characters... probably why. death just didn't have that emotional feeling... the story felt like a complete mess. you might of forgot to place a random tag on this story and alternate universe.
11343192
alternate universe maybe, but def not random! what all about it felt like a complete mess, like certain lines? i like criticism to improve
11343195
Did you rush this fiction? what inspiration did you use to write this? Yeah I think I now know why... I didn't read the spoiler tags... Foal Castration... yeah >.> about .5% are into that stuff. Little foal Castration... Are you mad? If anyone doesn't know what castration is it's more like remove with a surgery tool, chemical or magical of a ovaries or testicles.
11343221
dont worry! we arent at that point of the story yet. thats why each chapter will be marked porn or plot. also, at the top of porn chapters, ill put an authors note summary so you can get the plot without the porn you don’t like.
11343233
Castration i have seen it in DC universe... During the comics of joker and robin. Those were some dark times... I have seen female castration in hentai... That little went pretty ok for a 6.5 stars on hentaimama... Still wondering what drive you to write this?
11343246
two main reasons! ill copy and paste something from a 4chan thread im discussing this story in
Part of the fun of it for me is taking a story that was originally not that serious and then dropping well written and serious characters in that world. In a way, this is what all MLP fics aim to do - take rather innocent or not extremely deep source material, interpret its lore and rules very seriously, and turn it into great fiction.
i write things like this because im into snuff! i personally find myself at least within the realm of diaper fetishests, haha…kinda ashamed about it or whatever but i figured a nice challenge would be attempting to inject a serious story into such an insane concept? Something that really gets people to be like "damn..."
Everything about this from the way the story page is presented to your punctuation and stumbles at storytelling make the trollfics of 2012-2015 look subtle and literary.
Except those were actually fun to read.
11343523
ice star! i'm actually so hyped that you made it. when contemplating my return to the site, one of my biggest considerations would be if you were around. it's like a backalleys goal of mine to one day impress you with my sheer writing talent, or at the very least elicit a "oh, ok, that wasn't so bad" from ya! i mean i feel like this story is a good step. im attempting at least to take the subject matter more seriously - i think this one comes off as less creepy and fetishistic as the one where sweetie belle gruesomely vaporized in the middle of her classroom.
so, based on the advice of a few people, i've actually edited the first chapter. i just published the edit, so i encourage you to look again. not much has changed, but in general, the swears have been removed and twilight, while still firm and downright condescending, is much more sane in her tone towards flutters and dash near the end of the chapter. i really do value insight into how i write my stories, and just from how you've presented yourself you're one of the people i want to impress the most. that's only natural, right?
but before any of that i really want you to reflect on what it means to be a troll. we could agree that generally, online, trolling is repeatedly being annoying and/or breaking the mold or trying to incite rage or other emotions in people by purposefully acting obtuse and "pretending". while i've tried to improve and write with more and more sincerity with every story ive written, you've always been there...calling it the same schlock you've always seen it as, even with visible improvements. in that case, who really is the troll here?
11343568
If you were remotely serious about this, you would know by now that you are not going to impress me. It does not take much to put two and two together and realize you don't have a chance to gain that kind of reaction from me with anything you put on this account.
The actual result begs to differ.
Uh-huh.
I see low-effort bait in the new stories box, I see that the bait has a familiar handle attached. I look at it to see how much of a trainwreck I'm in for and if anything is notably different from the last one. It is not. I may be morbidly curious when it comes to the gutters of what Fimfic can offer in terms of highly-downvoted and otherwise uniquely bad stories, but I'm not going to inflict the same exact fic on myself twice.
I'm only going to assume you followed the advice of your anonymous editors because I didn't give you a two-page essay on every little misstep you made nor am I about to give you the time and effort I'd offer to someone who approached me for editing.
I can't exactly applaud you for the one-trick act you're going for here, but once again, if I'm genuinely the person you want to impress, it's a lost cause. I don't mean that in the sense of "you can't pull in people outside of your target audience" either, I'm literally just watching how low the bar can go when something I hadn't seen in a while popped up. You attempting to reframe me as someone who is just an eternal critic of your content isn't going to work in your favor. Writers who want to improve on this site generally interact with the wider community in some form, considering how niche ponyfic can be for writing. Even if that interaction is just limited to following a few people or reading the old writing guide. As I'm sure I've said before, you just come across as an alt.
It's pointless semantics but I would honestly define it somewhat differently.
The idea of you having visible improvements beyond "sometimes slaps cover art on things despite never crediting artists" almost made me chuckle. So perhaps your sense of humor in your comments is improving. The only way you could impress me is if you're an alt used for someone to dump their toxic waste in and I've happened to read your stories before on a different account.
Alright, using your definition, the troll would either be none of us or just you. People repeatedly being a negative peanut gallery to things like Simulated CP: The Horse Edition and your death fetish content that you post publicly is not breaking a mold, obtuse, working behind some pretend act, or an attempt to induce things like shock in others. I've not attempted to write a sarcastic review where I fake liking your content, as some people do. I'm very transparent about how unimpressed I am with you and why I've popped up here and there -- something I've been known to do on the broad spectrum of what ends up a badfic since about 2017 or so. So, that also rules out breaking a mold because the vast majority of people who gather around things like this aren't attempting to do more than shitpost, gawk at virtual garbage fires, or similar actions. If anything, most of the people who do those things are the ones who will be expressing shock here and there instead of being the shocking party.
You, on the other hand... well, your library speaks for itself. We have the shock, the provocation, the clickbait presentation on both your profile and your stories, and the way you present yourself coming across as both clueless as to why you get the reactions you do and overly saccharine in your (undoubtedly feigned) attempts to win me over, something that is both unproductive and fruitless. If you're genuinely just like this, all of this, with the utmost sincerity... yikes.
11343646
why not? i mean, i'm asking that question in a very literal sense - let's imagine, for a moment, that a great work of fiction like 1984 was never written. then, imagine i posted that story, word for word, i feel like you would kind of have to say it was amazing? i mean, not all of my work is parody, and not all of it is even the porn you seem to hate so much. it's kind of cringe for you to definitively say i will NEVER impress you, because trust me - unless you admit that you would only ever judge the content by the handle it's posted under and not the work itself, there does exist a series of words that would impress you.
can you explain how this story that takes a grounded approach towards this rather grim and dark subject matter provides to you the same feeling you got from reading a story about a schoolgirl screaming helplessly before exploding in a classroom written purely for fetishistic shock value ?
oh...you didn't actually read it, did you?
i don't really understand what you're saying here? you're impressive, dude, i look up to you and genuinely strive to one day create content you deem passable, but the truth is you haven't commented here until now lol. i took the advice of those who gave it to me because...they gave it to me? and i care about improving my work? you've never quite given me too many direct improvements on anything i've written - essays or otherwise. if you did, i'd act on it promptly, as i did with those who gave this story a chance and, though thinking me bizzare, gave me genuine advice on how to improve.
again, comments like this makes it seem like you didn't read the story. something like this sounds like an opinion who may have read the last story, but only read the description and tags for this story. i mean, like, ONE of my stories doesn't have cover art. that's not really the only noticeable improvement...
but, thank you for making me realize it's a problem to not credit cover art. i'll go ahead and update this one, as well as retroactively crediting cover arts that were just ripped from derpibooru before. i just didn't know it was an issue not to do.
This just feels like being mean for being mean's sake.
When people say things like...
i.ibb.co/vLRPXy7/Screen-Shot-2022-08-26-at-7-43-22-PM.png
i.ibb.co/0MhMYG9/Screen-Shot-2022-08-26-at-7-41-38-PM.png
...i tend to take them seriously. are you claiming that these people are joking? do you know more about fiction writing than them? or is the more likely scenario possible - that you judge my content based on surface value tags and descriptions, and haven't actually checked in on my improvement?
i'm not clueless on why i get the reactions i do, and i never pretend to be. at least not in a genuine way? when i carry the conversation calmly in the comments when people express excess disgust, im not truthfully wondering how oh how could this possibly have happened when i write a story that has tags like "forced foal gender reassignemnt"! instead, im trying to start a forum with that person to find out if they actually read the content - and are interested on judging it past its surface value. those who have given me genuine tips to improve the story have been followed up with to a t, and i'm taking your tip to include sources for simple cover images that require no more effort than saving a file off derpibooru.
i'm not sure how people have treated you in the past or why you have this conception that i absolutely must be fucking with you or an alt, but i promise to do everything in my power to prove to you it isn't true.
11343646
i added the image source. thanks again for pointing it out, sorry about that
11343665
You deadass have no idea what I like to read or what impresses me. In general, you do not know anything about me. What I like is an absolute unknown to you because the only times you have talked to me is when I have been snickering at the virtual equivalent of a trashfire. I have read multiple stories on here by people I have varying degrees of dislike for that I would say are good stories, even if the name of whoever penned them is one I have no love for. The same applies to the books I collect. So, yes, the handle doesn't actually matter in itself. The actual content and ability of the writer are what determine if I will like things. It would have to take a lot for the character of the author to be able to sour the content itself -- if the content has that quality, it's something that will be related to what you're writing about.
I did, otherwise, I wouldn't have been snide about saying I observed no improvement or anything I'd venture to call serious in tone.
I'm saying that I did not give you specific advice, so I can only guess that the things you specified changing were the result of feedback from your editors.
This is a certified bruh moment, and not the good kind.
You don't judge the quality of the suggestions given to you? Well, alright then.
If you're thinking that I will provide you with detailed advice on how to write murder porn, I don't know what to tell you except to reflect deeply on your life choices.
I specifically said that because of the unsubtle implication that there has been no improvement in the actual contents, meaning that there is nothing to speak of regarding them.
Bruh.
The "your" there was hypothetical and actually not directed at you specifically. Sarcastic praise of poorly-done content is not uncommon on here. I believe there used to be active groups dedicated to that.
So it's an odd little combo of shamelessness and zero social awareness. Very well then.
How people have treated me isn't something that would factor into whether I suspect you're an alt. You absolutely just come across as such in terms of what you do and how you style yourself. You also have an unhealthy fixation on proving anything to me or wanting to impress me. The whole thing is completely unfounded and the fact that you're on /mlp/ and still have any such view of me is honestly baffling. Especially if you're a regular poster there.
Calling it admiration doesn't feel right, so fixation will have to do.
11343718
sorry, im in a bit of a rush so this response will be much faster, but
-i dont want your help writing murder porn - i want your help just writing in general. im not trying to impress you or meet your standards in porn or smut…i just want to know what you think would improve my writing
-im not a regular poster on /mlp/, so im unsure of what you’re suggesting about how i think of you compared to that?
ill write a longer response but these were fast notes
11343725
Gee, I wonder what you'd use it for.
While I do edit for people and offer writing advice where I can, I do have standards. I've also told you multiple times that I have no desire or a good reason why I'd give it to you.
Everything that I've said in previous comment sections about your writing is still evident here. Your want for me to actively advise you is a hopeless endeavor, at least in terms of asking me in particular.
I don't know if you are or aren't, I just saw where the one screencap was from and that it was clearly phrased in a way that made it clear they were speaking directly to you. I've been sent a few threads there about people being assmad and coming up with a variety of colorful tales about me. To someone who had little to no exposure to me outside of what was said about me on those boards, they would have a very different picture of me compared to how I actually am. Honestly, the fact that I'm on anyone's radar there is puzzling.
11343734
i’d use it for the part you specifically say im not good at …the storytelling? the part im asking for help with? i do seperate my actual desire to tell a story from my overindulgence in writing snuff descriptions.
and im sorry about your history there, but i won’t let it affect my perception of you
11343741
You are still asking the wrong person for help. I'm not sure how you're missing that.
It's not exactly something I think of often, just pathetic and creepy anyone took that amount of time to do those things.
11343734
regarding the quote about how your past criticisms still apply (sorry cant do it right on phone)
can i ask why you feel that way? remeber, i rewrote the chapter to remove some ooc from twilight and applejack. also, even though you said you read it, im still unsure how you can say nothing’s changed when the contrast between this story and the last is so different that this availible first chapter doesn’t even have any pornographic, graphic descriptions of death, instead focusing entirely on story instead of fetishistic content. in what way is that, even on its own, not an improvement?
11343750
Obviously these bits wouldn't apply to this chapter, then. I wasn't only referring to the comments on your last story.
11343747
i feel like - if you were finally convinced that i am a sincere, main account who is truly interested in learning to write compelling, moving fiction, you would indeed be more interested. maybe my “fixation” on you comes from just wanting you to admit your initial kneejerk reaction about me might have been wrong? i type my stories in decent prose and detail and i’m trying here , at least a lot more than a lot of other true low effort fics, yknow?
and you’re seasoned, well read, and honestly critical. thats the kind of person i like telling me if my writing is good or not.
11343755
i mean thats kind of silly then right? why are you saying that everything youve said before applies to this story…but not for the first chapter…which is currently the only thing availible to read?
11343757
I don't think you understand what kind of stories I actually agree to help with and that when I refuse to touch something, it is final. You have other people you have stated will help you and you are specifically seeking something from someone who does not regard you highly, to say the least. That is not how you obtain an editor.
Lol, lmao even.
My sister in Christ, you are writing the low-effort fics.
You kinda come across as female so that's what I'll be settling with.
I am literally being a jerk and pointing and laughing at something I find disappointing, if I'm going to be brief and soften things here. That doesn't scream "would-be editor material" or anything of the like, it's just bizarrely self-defeating to the point I'd say it is bordering on masochistic. There are people who will offer you what you want on this site, and yet you literally keep asking me when I've told you naw.
For all intents and purposes, you should not trust me. This is just kinda fucking sad, ngl.
I don't think it takes a genius to connect the dots and figure out that comments about pornographic bits wouldn't apply and that if the story is only one chapter, I am speaking both about all that is currently readable and from previous experience only.
11343775
but you’ve failed to tell me what, exactly, is “low effort” about this fic, especially when youre making the contradictory statements “there’s nothing better about this one than the last one” and “my criticisms of the last one dont apply to this non-porn chapter”
i dont ONLY seek your advice. i appreciate all advice - but i specifically value yours due to your particularly scathing comments. if i can impress someone with even YOUR standards as a writer, it would make me feel like a better writer. i think most writers goals is to tell the stories they want to to the largest audience possible, and part of that is learning from your biggest critics.
im not a girl though, im rly sorry…but for what its worth, i dont think you’re a jerk. as someone with far more experience on this site than me, you likely are jaded from tons and tons of actual low-effort ben ten diaper fetish crossover fics.
But “Beyond Her Limit” and “Onlyapples” take extra production steps not seen in 99% of stories on this site, and stories like this one dare to explore how canon characters would respond to horrific events. its just not very observant to call these low effort in comparison, whether you think they are trolls or not
but you aren’t a jerk and i dont blame you. if i saw child murder fics, id probably dismiss them at surface level too,
11343775
here’s an example of something i see that might be considered “low effort “
i.ibb.co/dMcqsxC/DA5-B2-FCA-8511-4-A07-91-E4-087-C2-C7-EC7-AE.jpg
here we have a story with improper title capitalization and a nonsensical grammar construct in the description (though that MIGHT be intentional - can’t tell). my stories don’t exhibit these issues, and if they do, i fix them. yet here we have this thing with over 200 upvotes…
11343780
Those aren't contradictory, I just don't think you get unspoken content very well. Criticism specific to pornographic content would not be applicable to content that does not fall in that category. It's devoid of the subject being addressed, and it can be forced to suddenly apply to something that it doesn't encompass.
If you're looking to understand why your stories get labeled as low-effort, I'd invite you to take a good, long look at various stories in review groups, badfic collections, and other similar places on the site and compare your work to theirs. It's free.
I don't believe I put any qualifier suggesting you were only trying to get something out of me, I emphasized multiple times that you were picking the wrong guy.
Trying to please as many people as possible is... definitely one of the writing philosophies out there that exists. Yep.
Who tf apologizes for not being female?
Uh. Bruh. Ya kinda should.
That would imply I read those seriously or hold them to a similar standard to most stories on the site.
Uh-huh.
I'm not sure you get that "low effort" is not one specific look. There are multiple ways to be low effort. The story here is 11343807 low effort due to various grammar errors in the most basic part of how it is presented. But if low-effort stories only touched on grammar, writing could be fixed with spellcheck and proofreaders alone. Your content and ability to present your stories -- as well as how you choose to do so -- and ability as a writer to structure and tell them also show what is low-effort. Find any stories that get a similar reception to yours and compare them, it doesn't take an experienced writer to see what the patterns are.
11346531
hey, so i tried something new! i wrote a new story that actually garners an E rating. so like, not in the realm of snuff porn at all. also, this one isn’t even about a rape or anything!! i dont think theres anyone im more interested to hear the opinion of than you…
ill reply to the rest when not driving but nice to see you!
and you’re not a jerk! you can’t convince me
11346542
I cannot even.
11347153
have you LOST the ABILITY to CAN????
there isn’t a ton to say cause you were right about the last stuff you said… buuuuut
1. i apologized b/c you guessed wrong! so its like…
“is your favorite food pizza?”
“no, sorry!”
just “apologizing” like not in a serious way because of the guess haha
2. when i mention production value, i’m talking about the images, the moving pictures, etc. while these things can certainly be attached to a shitty story, they don’t inherently make anything better, im simply implying its a level of effort not usually taken - especially MOVING pictures that are composites of vectors.
11347153
hey also man. i read your blog, you blocked me so i couldn’t reply. but
never really thought to check out your blog. sorry you’re going through all that. a lot of these are real issues that are so crushing…but honestly, your main page is so good, there’s so many stories with so many awesome arts and everything is so categorized and neat…you’ve accomplished a lot! the people who love you will continue to do so but you shouldn’t feel like a burnout when you’ve already accomplished so much. it does seem lonely around here…but i was happy to see you comment on my new story when i posted it! because i felt lonely too, but its nice to know you were still around.
so you can count me as a person you make smile- makes the site a little less lonely
11347197
I’ve had like five coffees since I first saw the notification and I deadass don’t know how to respond beyond giving my phone a withering stare.
Since you don’t seem to have a tendency towards sending people spam and/or weird threats I guess I’ll unblock you.