The Time Ponies (Fail to) Take a Vacation

by My name is R

Digging Up Trouble: Deserts, Darkness, and Dirigibles

Emerald awoke to a gentle swaying beneath her. At first she was afraid that she had passed out again, but then she remembered last night. That’s right, we’re on a zeppelin. She yawned, stretched, and decided that yes, she had slept well. Then she sat bolt upright. “We’re on an airship! Yes!”

After she sheepishly looked around to make sure that nopony had heard, she quickly stood up and headed through the door. She quickly, but still calmly, made her way to the stairs, and out onto the main deck. She saw her friends standing together at the fore, so she trotted up to meet them.

“Hi girls! I hope you slept well. I know I did.”

“That’s good to hear,” Rarity acknowledged. “Especially after yesterday.”

“Rarity and I were talking about how similar our worlds look from way up here,” Derpy added, stretching a hoof over the railing to the expanse of ground laid out before them. “The only difference I see is that the Everfree is a bit bigger in this one.”

“I’ve been wondering,” Rarity began.

“About what?” Emerald asked when it looked like she was done talking.

“Why is it that you have never invited anypony to visit you?”

“Well, Starlight has told us not to tell anypony about all this, and if we were to bring back somepony they’d probably be taken for a changeling.”

“Like when your Carrot Top thought I was a changeling,” Derpy added.

“Okay. Why aren’t you supposed to tell anypony?” Rarity asked.

Emerald’s mind raced. She knew why: Starlight felt guilty about causing this. But she couldn’t just tell her that.

“Alternate worlds are a state secret, at least in our Equestria.”

“Really?” Rarity asked, and Emerald had to bite her tongue to keep from asking something about it too. She had just thought that nopony knew because it had never been done before. Did that mean there were other worlds beyond the ones Starlight had caused?

“Yep. Last night I sent a message to Princess Celestia asking if we could talk to her about that. After all, it’s a little late to try and cover it back up.”

Emerald leaned towards Derpy. “Hey, Derpy? Can I talk to you privately for a bit?” she whispered.

“Sure.”

They stepped away until the wind would cover anything they said. “That was all true, right?” Emerald asked.

“Yep!”

“When did you figure that out?”

Derpy froze. “It’s, ummm… It’s something that… That Starlight told Turner while we were eating together when they were building the TARDIS,” She answered with a strained grin. It was an obvious lie, but she figured that if Derpy was lying, she probably had a good reason.

“Ok. Do you mind if I go look for the captain? I want to see if they’ll let me try out loading a ballista.”

“Well, I don’t mind, but…” Before Derpy could finish the sentence, Emerald was already trotting off. Thank goodness she believed that, I thought for sure that she’d see right through it.

---

That afternoon, Emerald, Derpy, and Rarity sat together in their cabin.

“Today I learned that Equestrian military officers will frown at you and flatly refuse if you ask them to play with their equipment.”

Rarity sighed while Derpy nodded sagely. “Military equipment is for professional use only, and is not to be used for entertainment,” she doubtless quoted from one of her guidebooks.

“Dear, I’m sure they appreciate all that you and your friends have done for them, but they can’t simply let you play target practice over the whole countryside,” Rarity admonished.

“I just wanted to load it, I wasn’t gonna fire it,” Emerald grumbled. “Still, at least they just used their words and looks. Do you know what the changeling commander did when I asked her?”

“Wasn’t that after you already asked the Equestrian commander and were turned down?” Rarity asked.

“Well, yeah. Still, they didn’t have to keelhaul me!”

“Keelhauling means you went under the keel,” Derpy corrected. “They just dragged you off the stern.”

“Wait, you already knew?”

Rarity nodded. “I told her when I found out, and she convinced them to let you up early.”

Emerald slammed her head into the table. “Hooray, adventure,” she muttered.

---

The sun was setting as they watched the H.M.S. Leviathan crest the Macintosh Hills. They had been dropped off about a mile away from them before the zeppelin made its last leg of the trip without them.

“So, they’re gonna attack the Spire Hive,” Emerald said. “I guess I hadn’t realized just how much work was left after we freed Canterlot. It’s like… That was the happy ending, so I assumed that everything had wrapped up.”

“War, and life, for that matter, are rarely so clear-cut, dear,” Rarity answered.

“Yeah, I know.” There was a pause. “Is it weird that I feel like we left something undone?”

This time Derpy spoke up. “We can’t be everywhere. We just have to each do our part. Right now, we’re going to help the Southlands. Before, we were maintaining our lives. There’s only so much we can do, and it’s no good to fret about what you can’t save. Better to save that energy for what you can.”

“That’s… rather profound,” said Rarity.

Emerald chuckled. “Yeah, it’s pretty impressive what she comes up with sometimes. Other times, not so much.”

“Thanks.” Derpy beamed. “I’ve been working on that sort of thing with Infinity.”

“Who?” Rarity asked.

“He’s one of the Time Ponies who didn’t come over with us,” Emerald answered.

“Okay. Is he a philosopher?”

“Nope. He’s a psychologist,” Derpy answered.

They fell into an uncomfortably long silence. Well, it was uncomfortable for Emerald. She couldn’t tell what Rarity was thinking, and Derpy started humming. She cleared her throat. “So… Who wants to make camp?”

---

The next day they woke at dawn and headed West for Appleloosa. After a few minutes Emerald started to grow bored.

“Hey, who’s up for a song? A good southern one?”

“Sure!” Derpy answered. “Which one?”

Emerald smiled, then she opened wide and began. ♪ “Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam,
Where the wild young antelope play!
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day!” ♪

After a brief pause Derpy joined her for the second verse. ♪ “Home, home on the range!
Where the wild young antelope play!
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day!” ♪

As Emerald struggled to remember whether there was anything after that or if it was just a really short song Rarity pulled her out of her thoughts. “Is that another zeppelin?”

Emerald looked ahead. Sure enough, there was a large balloon hovering over Appleloosa. The city itself was in disrepair, even more than would be expected from a few years of abandonment. “Could it be settlers?” Emerald asked.

Rarity shook her head. “No, the ponies who came south to resettle Appleloosa came with wagons. I suppose some of them could have brought it, but it seems doubtful.”

“Hmm. We’d better sneak up and see if we can figure out what’s going on without being spotted.”

“Or we could simply turn South a bit early and avoid any trouble. Then we can tell the authorities when we return,” Rarity suggested.

“Well, I mean, we could…” Emerald began.

“But we’re being adventurers!” Derpy finished.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself. Now, who here can be sneaky?”

Derpy looked up into the sky. Rarity sighed. “I can, though I still don’t think it’s necessary.”

Emerald stared at her with what were probably supposed to be puppy dog eyes… but they looked more like she had seen a horror from beyond reality. “Pleeease?”

“I see clouds,” Derpy said, causing both of them to turn and stare at her. Shaking their heads, they returned to their discussion.

“I refuse to take part in your game here,” Rarity bluntly stated. “We can safely go around without being spotted, so why take the risk?”

“I could be sneaky in a cloud,” Derpy continued, but neither of them heard her this time. Shrugging, she flew up and hid in a lone cloud that was heading over them towards the town.

“Well… I guess we can leave it,” Emerald relented. “It would be fun, but not if our rogue refuses to go.”

“Thank you for seeing reason. Now, if we are all agreed…” Rarity looked around and noticed Derpy was missing. “Where’s Derpy?”

A shadow passed over them and Emerald looked up. She saw a cloud covering the sun and remembered Derpy’s statement. “I think I might know…”

---

As Derpy neared the town she could see that the balloon wasn’t part of a zeppelin, but rather a hot air balloon that was just as big. It probably couldn’t fit all of Ponyville, but could fit as many as Town Hall. The balloon was sagging a bit, but she wasn’t sure what exactly that meant.

Once she got directly overhead she saw the ponies in the town. Only… she didn’t think they were ponies. They looked more like yaks. It was hard to tell looking straight down at them, but if they were ponies then they were the biggest ones she had ever seen.

After a little while she decided it looked like they were trying to destroy the entire town, which was a very yakkish thing to do.

---

Emerald, Rarity, and Derpy had rendezvoused South of Appleloosa, and she had relayed her tale.

“Alright, now we take that information to the authorities when we get back,” Emerald said with a grin. “I don’t mind passing it off to them, I just wanted a clearer idea of what was happening first. A bunch of yaks came down south and stumbled upon Appleloosa, then started smashing it into pieces.”

“But why?” Rarity asked.

“Yaks smash. It’s just what they do. I don’t have any idea why they do it, but they’ll smash just about anything. Especially when they’re mad, but they do it when they’re happy too. I’m not sure about sad…”

“I meant why are they here? They live on the complete other side of Equestria!”

“Hmm. It’s either gonna be a long and epic tale, or they got lost. Could be either, really.”

---

It was early evening when they reached the train tracks. Emerald looked into the tunnel that ran beneath the hills. “So… We’re gonna go through there, right?” she asked, trying to hide her nervousness.

“Well, that is the easiest path, but we could also use the natural pass above the tunnel,” Rarity offered. “It was too steep for them to lay a track over, but as mountaineering goes it’s no worse than climbing the Canterhorn.”

Emerald shuddered as she remembered their trek to Canterlot. “No, no! We’ll just take turns lighting the way. It can’t be more than a couple of hours, right?”

“We could make it tonight, and possibly be out before sunset, I just thought it would be less ghastly after a good night’s sleep.”

Emerald had to stop herself from groaning at the reminder. All they had for bedding were bedrolls, though she had bought an extra trail blanket for padding at Canterlot.

“Um…” Derpy began. “I think I’d rather fly over the hills and meet up on the other side if it’s fine with you.”

“I don’t mind,” said Emerald. “Rarity?”

“There shouldn’t be any problems. We’ll meet you around noon.”

---

“We have always dwelled inside the rock. There is no before. There will be no after. There is no place for time here among the dark. Among the alien things that crawl and burrow in a tomb without light. We are one of them now. We have always been one of them.”

Rarity sighed, long and dramatic. “Emerald, please tell me that you’re aware that you’re narrating.”

“My companions succumbed to madness days ago.”

“Dear, it’s only been about an hour.”

“I alone maintain a tenuous grasp on my sanity. And I fear that grasp is slipping.”

“And we aren’t even traveling in complete darkness!” Rarity winced as the echoes of her shout reverberated through the tunnel.

“I ignored the pitiable babbling that issued from their misshapen lips. Their wet gurgles, a noise that had once been words, came to an end when one of the things outside assaulted us. I welcome oblivion.”

“Dear, I truly hope this is-” Before she could finish she felt a rumbling under her feet. Suddenly a giant mole thing burst out of the wall ahead of them.

“Can you sing a lullaby?” Emerald whispered. “Something nice and calming?”

Rarity quickly racked her mind for something, and she remembered her favorite lullaby that her parents used to sing to her when she was little.

♪ “Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head.
Hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed.”

The beast sniffed in their direction, but Emerald nodded encouragingly and Rarity continued.

“Drifting off to sleep, the exciting day behind you.
Drifting off to sleep, let the joy of dream land find you.” ♪

Slowly it began digging through the wall opposite of the one it had entered from. Once it had been gone for over a minute and the rumbling stopped Emerald let out a sigh of relief. “Well. That was a close one.”

“What was that?” Rarity hissed, careful to keep her voice down.

“A dread maulwurf. They’re really tough, and rather grouchy. I’m pretty sure it would have killed us or forced us to backtrack all the way outside and then climb over if you hadn’t managed to pacify it.”

As they began walking again, Emerald lit her horn and Rarity stopped shining hers. “Perhaps… But I never would have thought to sing it a lullaby if you hadn’t suggested it.”

“Huh. I guess I am a useful party member.”

“So… about the timeless depths…?”

“Sorry about that, I was just really into the mood, y’know?”

“Not… really. But I’m glad that you’re okay.”

Author's Note:

Well then. That’s two Winnie the Pooh references in as many books. Now I’m debating whether I should make sure to include another in the next one.

Rarity sings Hush Now, Quiet Now more like Fluttershy than Sweetie Belle.

Here is a link to the inspiration for Emerald’s speech in the tunnel. She is, fortunately, a lot saner than BM.

As it turns out, there are a few more verses to the song. I’ll just put them down here:

The red man was pressed from this part of the west
It's not likely he'll ever return
To the banks of Red River where seldom if ever
His flickering campfires still burn

How often at night when the heavens are bright
I see the light of those flickering stars
Have I laid there amazed and asked as I gazed
If their glory exceeds that of love

Feel free to try your hand at a ponifacation of these last two verses in the comments or pm me. If I get a full set, then I’ll make a video on YouTube of me singing the whole song and then make a blog tagged with this story with a link.
In fact, feel free to include another version of the chorus, maybe I can use a different one each time.

Comments

[My name is R]

And that’s why you’re not allowed to play with the military’s toys.

And now, for those of you unfamiliar with Winnie the Pooh:

P.S. I really outta start setting an alarm to publish these chapters.