“So… you used my glasses to make seven clones of yourself, because there’s too many of us for you to handle?” Anon asked.
As the Anons and Creams sat together, any confusions were beginning to be cleared up.
“Yes, I- her? We?” The griffon Cream Heart began. The confusion of them all being her still staying strong.
“I did, I love all of you Anon, but I’m only one mare, I can’t give everypony I love enough time by myself so I followed in your hoof steps” Cream Heart explained.
Button had joined them along with Albus, who were sat in the middle of the circle of creatures with their half sisters.
“Does this mean we have eight moms now?” Button asked.
“I suppose it does Button” Cream Heart shrugged, her voice full of uncertainty.
It was all a very confusing change for her, something that Anon could sympathise with.
“Don’t worry Cream, we all have the same love for Button, Albus, String Theory and Strong Teeth. But you’re their birth mother, nothing can change that” the unicorn Cream reassured her projenator.
“Thank you… I’m sorry but I didn’t catch your names. Do you even have them yet?” Cream asked.
“Just call me Magic Heart” the unicorn said.
“And I’m Cloud Heart” the pegasus introduced herself.
“Call me Gilded Heart” the griffon said.
“Night Heart” the thestral said.
“Striped Heart” the zebra said.
“Illusion Heart sounds like a nice name” the changeling mused.
“Twin Heart perhaps? Yes I like the sound of that” the hippogriff said.
And like that, all the Anons felt like morons for just having their names be the species they are with Anon added to the back of it.
But they all had hot wives so they couldn’t complain.
“Well, as long as everyone’s honest about their feelings on this matter. Everything’s good, right?” Anon asked.
Both the Hearts and the Anons all nodded, smiles and good vibes all around.
“I’m cool with it, but making eight Mother’s Day cards sounds like a hassle, I’ll just make one HUGE card for all eight of you” Button stated, lifting his front legs up to exaggerate the size of said hypothetical card.
“Aw Button~” the Cream’s cooed in unison.
Before the poor colt could react, he along with his siblings were being smothered in hugs and kisses and all other manners of motherly affection.
The three goals didn’t mind it though.
“There’s going to be a population boom isn’t there?” Unianon whispered.
“Eeyep” Ponanon agreed.
The Anons didn’t think the day could get any weirder than this.
But it did.
…
“There’s a cult about me?” Anon asked.
Sat opposite Cadence and Shining, Anon received some confusing news.
“Multiple as it seems,” Cadence said.
“The royal guard have infiltrated several cults from Whinnyapolis to Sunset in New Mareland” Shining explained.
“How the fuck do royal guards infiltrate a cult? They’re all white coated ponies in gold armour” Anon asked.
“We dyed their fur and gave them fake moustaches” Shining explained “and we got them out of their armour”
“Ah that explains it” Anon admitted.
Pulling out a map of Equus and Griffonia, Shining placed several bright red pins in various cities across both continents.
“We’ve tracked down at least fifteen cults, all of them seeming to build their practices around worshipping you,” Shining explained.
“Are they sex cults?” Anon asked.
“Only seven of them,” Shining stated.
“Oh good, nothing to be worried about then” Anon sighed.
“And the rest are death cults,” Shining added.
“Fuck” Anon said.
“Those in Griffonia seem to believe rather you’re the chosen of their death god Maar or that you ARE Maar” Shining explained.
“But why? I’ve never done anything to convince people- sorry, ponies, that I’m a god” Anon asked.
“Oh don’t worry too much about it Anon, it happens more often than you’d think. I remember when I became an alicorn dozens of cults sprung up thinking I was some kind of Fertility Deity” Cadence explained.
“There were so many lewd statues of you” Shining mused.
“I’m still mad you kept that altar” Cadence stated to her husband.
“Hey, we made Flurry on it didn’t we?” Shining chuckled.
“Um excuse me, I’m still here” Anon stated.
“Oh sorry, but don’t worry about it. You’d be surprised how often these groups form. Just young ponies with superstitious beliefs. I think Twilight has one or two in Canterlot right now” Cadence explained.
“Ok you guys, that makes sense, but I’m not an alicorn. Why am I being worshipped?” Anon asked.
“Well, you have done a few very unusual things since you arrived. You’ve survived things that would kill a regular pony, you walk in direct sunlight, you’ve moved two cities and a town multiple times, you seemingly command Discord and you’ve summoned alternate versions of yourself. To creatures that don’t know you it would appear that you’re doing all of this through your own will, and not external forces” Cadence explained.
“I’m from Florida, half of that is just a Tuesday on bath salts” Anon dismissed.
The royal couple looked at each other before looking back to Anon. What putting salt in a bath had to do with any of this completely going over their heads.
“So what are we going to do? Do I just go to all of them and explain that I’m not a god?” Anon asked.
“No, Auntie Celestia tried that when they started worshipping her, they were just convinced she was testing their faith” Cadence explained.
“So if I tell them I’m not a god they’ll think I am, if I tell them I am a god they’ll only be further encouraged. What CAN I do to stop this?” Anon asked.
“Well, considering most of them are operating in Equestrian territory you don’t have to do anything” Shining explained.
“Aunt Celestia is already making moves to get rid of the Maar cultists, the rest seem to be harmless, they’re mostly just doomsday preppers or young adults who meet to engage in…” Cadence continued before trailing off, a blush forming on her face.
“Mass orgies?” Anon asked.
“Y-yeah, that,” Cadence confirmed.
“Well, if I’m not in trouble and most of them aren’t hurting anyone. But it’s still weird, I mean I know I’m the apex of stallionhood but it’s weird to think someone out there is rather pounding or getting pounded while thinking of me” Anon admitted.
“Try going to sleep knowing it for years” Cadence responded sarcastically.
Pondering the idea for a while, Anon shrugged his shoulders.
“Eh, can’t say cute mares drooling over me would make me lose sleep” Anon stared blankly.
“It won’t just be mares” Cadence corrected.
“Oh… well now you’ve just ruined it for me” Anon replied, his harmless fantasies wiped away.
…
“So… There are eight of y’all now?” Applejack asked.
Having gone down to Ponyvillie to introduce themselves, the Hearts met up with the Mane Six at Sugarcube Corner.
“Yes indeed” Cream Heart smiled.
“I like it, now there are even more friends! Ooh I should throw a party to celebrate!” Pinkie squealed happily.
Most of the girls just seem to roll with it. Considering they’d gone through this with Anon before.
But while she seemed outwardly happy, Twilight couldn’t help but fear this was only the tip of an iceberg.
…
“Anon, are we the Skeksis?” Unianon asked.
As the Anons gathered within their secret dining club beneath the castle for their lunch, Unianon’s thoughts were invaded by dark ideas.
“Hell do you mean?” Anon asked, his mouth full of bacon.
“I mean think about it, we’re all autocratic rulers, we’re shards of a being from a different planet, we have control of a magic crystal that the locals find sacred. Skeksis Anon, are we Skeksis?” Unianon explained his question.
Going to argue for a second, Anon couldn’t help but see the comparisons.
Poking Griffanon as his beak was submerged in a bowl of rabbit stew, Anon got his attention.
“Hey Griff, are we the Skeksis?” Anon asked.
Looking around the room for a second, Griffanon turned back to Anon.
“Well we did have our secret dining room designed to look just like the dining room from their movie” he pointed out.
Their dining room under the palace was indeed modelled to resemble the one that was owned by the Lords of the Crystal.
“Fuck, we’re the Skeksis” Anon realised.
“Mmmmmmm~” Peganon whimpered.
…
After a full day, every creature great and small settled down for the night.
Celestia’s Sun had set and Luna’s Moon had risen into the night skies.
Button, Albus, String and Strong were all fast asleep. The Princess of the Night watching over their dreams.
While their clones ‘got to know each other’ the original Anon and Cream Heart sat together by the fire.
“Maybe we should go on vacation,” Anon suggested.
“Really?” Cream asked.
“Yeah, Cadence and Shining’s maternity leave is coming to an end soon. How about we all go on a family vacation together? Just you, me, you, me and the kids for a few weeks, once Button is done with this semester. I hear Puerto Caballo is nice this time of year” Anon explained.
Letting her smile get wider, Cream nodded “that sounds amazing” she agreed.
Cuddling against each other, Anon’s wing over her shoulder. The married couple grew only more confident in their life together.
“Do you want to go join the orgy?” Cream asked.
“There’s eight of you and seven of them are probably dripping wet right now of course I want to go join the orgy” Anon said bluntly.
“Correction, all EIGHT of me are wet~” Cream corrected him as she giggled softly.
AN: as always some random crap I threw together for the sake of giggles.
Loved this film as a kid, you just unlocked a memory of mine!
Horny bastards
“Mmmmmmm~” Gelflings~
Who gonna be clone next I called Twilight, if not flurry heart, or both when twilight try get her both fell in pond.
At this point I really think that Anon really related to discord for spreading this much chaos.
The randomness works.
Only when an Anon that brings predictability & boringness, instead of randomness & visits to a doctor, shows up will stuff start getting weird. If he was a colt as well he would probably be countered by Discord's daughter, Screwball, just so Discord can watch & act like a behaved soccer dad who supports their kid.
Opposite of the standard soccer dads.1,000 bits says he'd be born from Twilight & Anon having a shared dream while he's wearing his glasses. She'd probably get worried about Anon seeing her thoughts of training & changing him into her desired version of himself thus resorting to a spell to kick Anon from her mind which the glasses warp & we get an Anon Jr or Mininon as I sure the new colt would be dubbed by Anon. Boredom encompasses all, threatening them with eternal dullness. Discord feels its too small a problem for a Lord of Chaos to deal with when asked for help & sends his daughter. Screwball, Lady of Chaos. I'm sure something happens & she claims Mininon as her rival, minion, best friend, colt friend, or all the above depending on what mood she's in at any given time. In the end, Twilight’s mom collects a princess's ransom throughout Equestria for winning her bet that Twilight would have a kid through a magical incident before getting married.
These chapters are fun to read and inspire funny ideas of what may happen next.
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Wow Twilight and Anon son Anon Junior, he would make fine heir to Crystal kingdom or doom it with flurry heart.
There's fifteen. That they know of!
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They’re married and fresh off the honeymoon
There are no straps or buckles anywhere though…
Yeah, but… I mean, technically you kinda are…
She’s totally jelly of Cream. Twilight’s autism is going to snap at some point. You can only push it so far…
-Cloud Heart... Gilded Heart-
*happy noises*
Oh dear, do I sense jealously?
Do they like weld guard armour on?
Magnificent chapter, random humor for the win ♡