Despite the dark and tragic past, she keeps a smile on her face that conceals the 3 things she has known all too well her entire life:
Pain
Betrayal
Suffering
Profanity tag for use of swear words
Chapters (5)
ZippStorm23
Joined 20th Apr, 2024 ·
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Okay, minus some first story problems everyone goes through, this has my attention on where everything is going to go
I can fix those problems if I know what they are!
11885660
Well, a lot of those you’re not going to solve without more experience.
But if I had to suggest things for later chapters, I would maybe try and add more detail to engross the reader in more, as well as try to make it clear whose eyes were are seeing the world through. It took me a while to realize this was a Zipp focused story, and this could especially be a problem if we switch POVs
Other than that, writing more will allow you to find you footing and style.
Okay, I’m curious just who this mystery guy is and why Zipp reacted when she did when he saw him.
Overall, still going good, so keep it up.
Okay, this just raises so many questions.
Namely who is this Zap, why do he and Zipp know each other, and why is he in school with a gun of all things? People who do that are usually labeled as psychopaths so unless there’s a dark side of our protagonist coming there’s going to be much desired in the coming parts to be answered.