• Member Since 10th Jan, 2013
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DualSoul1423


I am an Eldritch Horror that likes gay horses.

Comments ( 54 )

Oh this is disturbingly creepy...

Is this story a crossover or original?

Because I want to know how a young colt thinks that this is okay!? :twilightoops:

11893035
Thank you for reading! I'm glad you think so.

11893047
Completely original. Or rather, as original as a fanfiction can be.

wow, what a cool concept! very, very original. great job!!

11893255
Why thank you!
Though it's not done yet. Just polishing up the last few chapters before posting them. Should be up tonight or tomorrow, I dunno we'll see.

11893258
"tonight or tomorrow"

those are big words, friend :ajsmug: don't last seen 2 years ago me!

this idea is interesting, not as fasinante as another that I read, but certainly very interesting, I want to see how this relationship develops, and it seems that the damage to the psyche of the colt is much deeper than thought, and that the parents of the foal could keep a very dark secret... or worse, not even the parents can be the foal

that is the most weird and horrific story i have ever read

11893580
I'll take that as a compliment!

If I didn’t know better, I’d say you based Poppy off a bhaalspawn.

Quite an interesting story, must say I really liked it! Quick, yet captivating.
At least he managed to keep it contained to himself, elsewise he'd have made for a pretty damn good serial killer

11893654
Although the popularity of BG3 helped push me to finally write this story, ultimately I'm sorry to say no. I first conceived of this plot long before I ever knew what a Bhaalspawn was.

11893678
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Admittedly, when I first sat down to write this piece, I intended for Poppy to have a higher body count... Though when it came down to it, that just felt disingenuous to me.

Poppy Blanch is very reminiscent of a song called Carcass by We Are The Empty. To quote from the chorus: "If all that we are isn't more than a dream, I'm carving a carcass in part of my screams, unknowing if we will make it out alive."
Excellent writing regardless! Just thought I'd add some input so you'd better understand where I'm coming from :D
~TanTan

OP

“Yeah, I’ll take the roasted parents, a side order of dumpster-pony giblets, and a blood shake, heavy on the coagulation. Thanks.”

“What do you mean the shake machine is broken?!”

11893922
Got a chuckle out of me, so here. Have a freshly baked meme, just for you.
Edit: Link died somehow, but the meme was funny, I promise.

a ruthless lover of pain and suffering, who thanks to an accidental friendship, decided to be the best version of himself... pity that he could not maintain the will to be

I just hope Luna doesn’t blame herself for it... for not having the power to change what happened

Damn. I've read a number of stories over the years that made me feel off put and sad, but it's been a long while since I've read something that made me queasy and then tear up. I mean, what else was he supposed to do? It's a tragedy in every way.

I feel bad for both Luna and Blanch, and it's kinda depressing that neither got a happy ending because Blanch killed himself to protect others and Luna, long as she lives is unlikely to ever forget him and what he endured.

Great story all the same though.

11893939
It's not that he didn't want to live. It's that he thought the "best he could be" meant not being alive. Luna might have disagreed, but she probably understood.

11893979
I'm glad that my story touched you like that.
Sometimes, life is a tragedy, I'm afraid. Sometimes there's no happy ending. Would it have been better if Poppy snapped, and Luna had to deal with him then? I think that he rather be remembered for the pony he tried to be, instead of the one he was doomed to become. And I think Luna would be happy to hold onto that memory for as long as she can.
Anyway... Thank you for reading.

While this probably doesn't apply to ponies, I should probably mention that our world's horses can't actually see red.

I like this. A pony rising up against his nature and being a better pony despite it. Still, It had heavy bloodborne feelings and I would have loved if it was a crossover with it.

11894319
Hmm. I can imagine Poppy quoting some Blood-borne.
"What's that smell? Oh... The sweet blood... It sings to me..."
An amusing thought indeed.

Comment posted by RandomCommentor deleted May 2nd

"Is it better to be born good, or to overcome one's evil nature through great effort?"

Anyway, this honestly inspired me with an idea for a fic, though I don't have the time to write it.

I imagined a similar scenario, but 1) the dream Luna finds is very old, and 2) the colt doesn't wake up.

Luna finds this dream with a strange, yet very cheery and friendly colt playing in the viscera, and she tries to figure out the mystery.

"How... long have you been dreaming?"

"I dunno, like a ten thousand years? More? I don't keep track."

"Why?"

"Um, I think there was this wizard who wanted to stop me from doing what I'm supposed to, but since I can't be killed until I'm done, he used a really strong sleep spell on me instead."

"What you're supposed to? And what, pray tell, is that?"

"Well, to kill of course! It's what I was made to do! Kill, kill, and kill and until there's nothing left to kill, then I can kill myself. Doesn't that sound great?!"

"You... are you some kind of monster?"

"Mmm, maybe? I don't really remember anymore. It never really mattered, after all. I just need to kill everything. Don't need to remember who I am or where I came from as long as I remember that, and I can't ever forget that cause it's written into my soul, so I don't have to worry about it. Pretty great, right? All you other creatures seem to agonize over that sorta thing, what they're here for, what they should do with there lives, but I never had to deal with that. I just do what I do 'till I'm done."

"I don't understand. You say these... awful things, yet your demeanor doesn't match your words. If you only seek to kill and cause misery, why then are you speaking so civilly with me instead of attacking?"

"Wow, wow, wow, cause misery? I don't do that! I mean, sure, maybe that happens because of what I do, but that's never what I try to do. I don't, like, um, try to make you creatures hurt, I try to kill you as fast as I can. The faster the better. Sometimes it hurts, but that's just 'cause you always fight back. I don't blame you, though, I think it's written into your souls. To fight back, so I don't hold it against any of you, even if it would be easier for everyone if you didn't... Anyway, why would I attack you? You're just a dream pony. If I killed you, you'd just wake up, right?"

"Yes, I would."

"See, so there's no point. Now if I was awake and the real you was right in front of me, that'd be a different story, but this is just a dream, so we can talk."

"I still don't understand. You've been put in eternal slumber against your will, imprisoned in your own mind, yet you seem so... so unfazed. Why aren't you angry?"

"I don't think I can be? I don't think anger is inside of me, that is. What use would I have for it? I don't need to be angry to kill. Besides, who said this dream is eternal?"

"... Excuse me?"

"Yeah, no spell lasts forever, right? The magic is strong, but gets a little weaker everyday. I'll wake up eventually, then I can get back to work. Um, sorry in advance when we meet then, but I won't be up for chatting. Work to do and all that. You probably won't even recognize me anyway. The real me is a lot bigger..."

Luna stays to chat with the strange creature, and proceeds to come back to talk multiple times, probing for information, even though the colt remembers so little.

She's trying to piece together where the creature's real body is so that she can find it and reinforce the sleeping spell. Despite the macabre setting, Luna can't deny the creature's friendly nature, and much of her fear begins to fade over the many fruitless years.

All until one night, she goes to visit the ancient dream once more, only to find that it's no longer there...

This was honestly a genuinely beautiful story. There was a lot at play here, and a lot of good things. And for all of Blanch's issues, he was not in the wrong for hating his parents so much. He says in the letter that "his parents treated him worse than ever."

Which implies they were already abusing him horrendously, it just stepped up. And Blanch had to learn those things from somewhere. And most likely he learned them from his horrible parents. And the story mentions that there was an aura around that house of horrible thing - a ton of stigma. Which means the people who lived there *also* knew about it.

If someday you ever feel inclined, I would love to see an alt-interpretation of this story where Blanch got the therapy he needed.

The issue was never his dark impulses. But the fact he kept trying to repress it. Instead of finding inner harmony, he did what Luna did but different. Where Luna punished herself, Blanch didn't punish himself until he was too scared of himself.

Luna found inner harmony, forgiveness, and the ability to move forward. I believe Blanch deserves it too. He says he doesn't feel sorry for what happened to his parents. But the fact remains he keeps asking himself if he feels sorry, and that's why he'll always be divided. He thinks he should feel guilty for taking vengeance on his parents and escaping. Not realizing that all things considered, he did for himself the best thing he could have possibly done. And judges himself harshly for it and everything else. And that causes all of it to boil under the surface until it explodes.

Quite literally, it's like he exploded in that basement with all the pent up years of trauma and his own twisted desires that his parents pushed on him.

Wonderful work and a very interesting character. I enjoyed it greatly.

11894536
Funnily enough, an earlier version had a similar prompt, where after Luna's banishment, Celestia had cast a spell over Equestria to funnel all the murderous intent of ponykind into a single pony, who she then placed in stasis to keep the peace. I eventually scrapped that idea, because I didn't like the idea of Poppy's murderous intent to be something mystical in nature, or something that can be "cured" with a counter spell. Of course, if you want to write something like that up, go right ahead. I'm probably not gonna write another fic for a while.

11894631
Thank you for reading! I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed it!

11894579
Although I'm always down for an overanalysis of a character, I'm afraid you're off the mark on this one.
Poppy Blanch's urges did not stem from his parent's abuse, they were always there. Their abuse only served as a justification for him to kill them, because he knew that no one would mind if a pair of negligent parents died horribly.
Unfortunately, therapy wouldn't have helped Poppy, because there's nothing that could be fixed with him. He wasn't insane or broken, he was different from the start; and it was when he learned that normal ponies don't need to kill each other to be happy that he was faced with the only choice he ever had. He knew better than anyone that he couldn't fight his nature forever, so he decided to be the hero of his own story by killing the villain of everyone else's.
His tragedy isn't that he was abused; his tragedy was that he had the horrible misfortune to know what "good" was, and the insight to know that it was beyond his reach.

11894876
Then why did Blanch mention in his letter that they treated him worse than ever?

Still, no matter what the case is. Blanch deserves a happier ending. Even if it's not therapy but instead finding a way to exert that violence in a more healthy fashion.

But he's ultimately your character, and my feelings don't predicate what you should do or how his story should go. If you're satisfied with his conclusion that's all that matters in the end.

No matter what, thank you for the story. Despite the tragic end it was a joy to read.

Intrusive thoughts? Or maybe mere fantasies? I think a lot of people have "bad" or impulse thoughts that they'd never act on, and it doesn't make them bad people.

11894917
Again, him mentioning that in the letter was his way of saying "I had an opportunity to kill bad ponies that wouldn't be missed, so I took it." It wasn't him getting back at them for the abuse.
As for a "happier" ending, I did have plans for him to become some sort of solider or hunter, but ultimately having outlets wasn't the issue either. It was just the fact that every night, he dreamt of hurting the two best things to ever happen to him, and he knew that if he dreamt it, he was capable of doing it. Given the choice between destroying what you love, or ending yourself, it's a simple decision in my eyes.

11894942
I think calling Poppy's urges mere "intrusive thoughts" is a gross understatement. Intrusive implies that they're unusual or sparse, when in reality it was all he could ever think about. I do agree that having the thoughts alone does not make someone evil, but can you say the same when he does act on them? Things become much more complicated then.

11895059
"I had an opportunity to kill bad ponies that wouldn't be missed, so I took it."

Tbf that just kind of makes it all the more important he get his happy ending. "I focus on the ones who deserve it" mean that he isn't just some relentless murderer. It showcases he has a desire to only be bad to those who are bad.

And my own OC Fear has a similar context. He's a soft boy at the end of the day but softness won't make the world a better place sometimes. So sometimes when the bolts fall to the table it's time to pick up the sword and get sadistic and tell people in the most deranged tone how much he loves them as the thanateros peaks into max before mortality becomes fatality, because they proved they deserve it and he knows their tallies.

I still believe Blanch deserves a happy ending where he can express this violence in a healthy way, for the good of others. Rather than feeling like he will never be able to be a good pony unless he's dead.

Besides, there are many ways to sadistically destroy that which deserves it. If he doesn't need any of the former, then all he needs is a bit more discernment, harmony, self-acceptance, and understanding that there are multiple forms of sadism. Even lawful sadism where you're legally stringing someone up to the wall with witness testimony and evidence and watching them break down.

Seeing a brighter, better world that isn't fake superficial smiles as people do what they do behind closed doors may help some of that flame taper off.

Besides, my fics "Life is Miserable" and "The Paths we Carve" go over these concepts of what it means to be a raider, a tamie. Fear inevitably realizes a life is a life but sometimes a life must be stolen in order to protect another. But it doesn't mean that blood thirst deep down can't sometimes be allowed to explode for those who earned it.

I still assert, Blanch deserves a happy ending. Even if all of my logical dissection is incorrect and Blanch is in fact some evil pony with bodies under his floorboards, eventually it'll raise a stink, he'll be found out, and justice will be wrought. Just like the emaciated colt should have been saved long ago and his parents brought to justice for the clear neglect Luna notices and points out.

A dark story about a dark mind. Sadly sometimes the happiest outcome is one that involves someone removing themselves from the picture.

scarlet sanctum

I'm totally using that as a band name

I wonder what is aftermath for Luna? Her thoughts months, years or decades later?

11895504

She would be saddened that this stallion was born into the wrong era. In the wild youth of Equestria he would have been a pillar of strength for the people and crown, slaughtering those that threatened the innocent with a smile on his face. His desires just didn't have an acceptable outlet in the civilized modern era.

It is unfortunate what Poppy had went through. The more I read, the more it seems like he has an undiagnosed psychopathy. Possibly.

There may be help for this. Maybe even a medicine he could have brewed if he knew of his predicament. I do know chemicals in the brain can be influenced, probably through therapy, but I am no doctor or expert in mental help.

I was hoping Luna could do a few closing statements for his funeral. A closure that this ending has left out. A closure for herself and his family.

Regardless, this is a good story, Wordsmith.

11895536
I doubt that he would have been better off had he been born in a different era. He dreamed about killing his family and enjoying it, despite knowing that it's wrong. Even if he had been able to work as sanctioned killer, murdering only bad people, he probably would still have this urge to hurt others. Getting used to killing could've actually it made it harder to resist killing outside of the job.

The best outcome for him would've been to have himself institutionalized, allowing him to live while still staying in contact with his family and friends but without being a danger to others. Albeit I think he (understandably) didn't wanted Jade and his daughter learn about his dreams at which point suicide looked like the better option to him.

11895504
I considered making one last chapter to explore this, but found that it didn't feel right. In the end, I think it's better to let the reader feel on Luna's behalf.

11895536
I think that's far too gross a simplification of Luna. Although I believe that she has a warrior's spirit, she would know that slaughter for the sake of sating one's bloodthirst is a cancer upon the soul.

11895550
As easy of an answer as that might seem, psychopathy isn't it either. Poppy's case is quite a curious one that defies explanation. Even now, I'm not sure which would be more tragic: That he is completely unique in his affliction, or that there are others out there who he never was able to meet and confide in.

11895627
I don't think being institutionalized would have helped him at all, but you're right that he wouldn't want his family to know. Better to take the secret with him to his grave than risk their happiness.

That ending almost had me crying. Well done! This was a nice departure from the usual MLP stuff I'm accustomed to.

I absolutely adore this tale! Much like Poppy, I’ve an interest in the gruesome & grim, the monstrous & macabre, such that I feel like he might be something of a mood-kin or some such for me. Granted, if I’d been in your shoes whilst writing things would’ve turned out quite differently, but I still thoroughly adore it!

11895695
I personally think that it’d be far, far more tragic if he was completely, genuinely, utterly unique in terms of his situation, for even if there were others out there like him who he never managed to meet, it would still mean that Luna (or someone, at least) can now recognise them & help them congregate together.

what a fucking trip dude

11895711
I'm glad to hear it had such an affect on you, and I'm happy to have provided a unique experience!

11895894
Please do not kin the mentally ill murderer.

11896038
Quite the trip indeed. Sometimes life is like that though.

11895695
I don't think being institutionalized would have helped him at all, but you're right that he wouldn't want his family to know. Better to take the secret with him to his grave than risk their happiness.

Probably not. This seems to be some kind of supernatural evilness that can't be cured. Still, he didn't need to die and could've chosen to let himself lock away to prevent him froming harming others. That way he could've spared his family the grief and see his daugther grow up.

11896280
Don’t worry, don’t worry, it’s not like I’m stupid enough to commit such atrocities. Well, IRL at any rate.

11896398
But then his daughter would have to live with the knowledge of why her father is locked up and can't be trusted to come back home. That'd just be making her suffer in an entirely different way.

usually stories with over the top gore don't turn out to be good.

This one is looking like it'll be an exception.

I can kind of understand how the colt finds comfort in this.

In a fucked up way, that I find it hard to describe. But, to dip yourself in things so terrible, so horrid, it might make the horrible terrible things happening to you in the real world seem that much less. Or when you're so used to bad things, maybe they begin to become comfortable. Or maybe you just feel comfortable in a world where no one can hurt you, as everyone is dead.

i'm fucking terrified of what is about to happen.

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