"Are you working? (What kind of work do you do?)"
Rainbow Dash's life has been boring recently, wanting to spice things up, she visits twilight Sparkle, number one reader of all Equestria and asks for some advice about her current situation. Turns out Rainbow Dash gets more than she bargained for.
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Quite the cute little one-shot! I'm not skilled with calling out everything in a story, but really for something like this, the only mistakes I have found were:
In the description, it should be Rainbow Dash's, since it shows ownership over her own life. Dashes is more of a verb ;3
There is a lot of capitalization mistakes, a few names and a few sentences are missing that first word capitalization.
For example, in this part, each question should still be started with a capital. Plus, the final sentence could be cut down into two separate ones.
Another example; "maybe" does not require a comma, as it is a continuous statement. She's = she is; she has. Staying past participle, it would be "she was" or "she had been; she'd been":
Again, this is probably how I would have written it, and it doesn't mean it's 100% correct. I just wanted to add this as a light example.
It's very cute and sweet. What else can I say? There are a few unnoticeable flaws which I think the person who commented before me pointed them out perfectly.
11907678
Thanks man for pointing out those errors, I'll get them fixed soon! But still thanks for reading my story and taking time out your day spot those errors out, i appreciate it a lot!
11907769
Thanks man for reading my story! I appreciate it!
Hello there. In general, I'm not much into same gender pairings (unless they are specifically in the characters' canon character - like the majority of the pairings in certain currently popular adult cartoons that I won't mention by name), but I'm also not one to let little things stop me from enjoying a good, sweet story, which this was. But, yeah, the dialogue, characterizations and general wrap-up was beautiful.
11907934
Thanks man, it took a lot of time writing this story, so I'm glad you liked it!