A pony named Coal heart lives just east on a small hill overlooking Ponyville, he has had no friends his entire life and has detached himself from civilisation, suddenly however he meets Pinkie Pie who introduces him to friendship and the finer things in life.
"One shot story"
First!
Congrats
Not bad. But I think it could be better with a little fleshing out. If he is hurting that bad I don't think that Pinkie could get to him that fast. Just a thought everyone has their own reasons for writing a story the way they did. Don't stop writing, not bad for the second try at a story.
Thanks, your right I do tend to jump to the point very fast but I will correct this, thanks again
pretty good better than any story I can write
6500275 Hey, the only way to get better is to practice. ^_^
6501552 that will never happen with me. poetry the only thing I can write, anyways keep up the great work