Sanctum

by InoPony

Epilogue

"Before you return to your friends, Twilight, we would like to give you this last gift." Luna opened her wings with a flourish.
"This glade was our hideaway. When things felt out of control, when we could hold our temper no longer, we would come to this tranquil glade in the forest. To make sure that nothing disturbed us here, we placed upon it heavy enchantments and protections. Know this: if this glade had not sensed you coming in your distressed state and felt your great need, it would have not let you approach and enter. No creature has been in this place, save for us. It is our quiet place, which we used to calm ourselves and escape from the stresses that would build. "

"In time, near the end, we had gotten so out of control that even this place could not help. Our stubbornness eventually led us to become... that Nightmare. We would not see something like this happen to you, Twilight Sparkle. Work and learn, study and play. And if you need this place again, we have set a new spell to help you teleport directly here."

"And also, we would be most grateful, if you would call upon us to talk, should you again feel so overburdened. We see so much of what we used to be in you, and we will not see again what we had become. We would rather call you friend. This is your quiet place, Twilight Sparkle, and here you are always welcome. Now come along, you have kept your friends worried long enough!"

And with that, Princess Luna teleported them both back to Twilight's library.

Author's Note:

I felt that I had more to tell, but not enough for a new chapter! This is my first story, and it has taken me a lot of effort to overcome personal barriers to share it with you. I appreciate your honest-as-Applejack feedback, and think I'd like to try and share more stories with you all!

Comments

[InoPony]

1862879

Thank you so much for the constructive criticism! As you can see, my proofreader did warn me about the long paragraphs! I honestly don't know why I didn't just make it all one long chapter. Chapter two was getting a little long, but the idea for the setting wouldn't leave me alone. If only it had suggested enough for a real chapter! Thanks for the hand/hoof, have to fix that! Typos? Eeep! Thought I squished them all...

[Ivo]

1862987
In the end, it is your decision how to structure your story.
It´s just my point of view that the story would be more effective lined up as one single chapter.

Anyhow, the setting idea was good, I liked the dream scene and the magical hideaway.
It just fit in very well.

As for the typos...yeah, they are very tricky sometimes.
You try to avoid them, but a few of them always slip through, unfortunately.
It is mostly rather easy to see them in another story than in your own ones.

[anacreon]

1862987
I enjoyed helping you by proof reading such a nice story.

Keep writing and I await your next story.

[GC13]

I agree that these chapters read like one.

I enjoyed it, but I really do wonder how Twilight's contrition turned out. It would have been nice to see something about that.

[KuroiTsubasaTenshi]

This story feels a bit raw, which is both a hindrance and a boon at times. A hindrance because it makes the narration, which has a tendency toward telling, to ramble (thus, eliminating the advantage of speed that telling provides). In spots where you do want to slow down, I would suggest more showing (hinting via implication), as telling often has weaker emotional impact. As for the boon, the rambling gives a certain authenticity to a mind in turmoil, so whenever the story steps deeper into Twilight's thoughts, the emotional impact is improved.

[TwilightXLuna]

I love this story always love TwiLuna

[InoPony]

5675877
Well thank you. I like Luna in general, but it makes sense that the Princess of the Night would also like Twilight Sparkle. She's between day and night, after all.