), I do love fussing over stats where anything of interest is concerned, Fimfic included. Happily, I’m not alone (because duh Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #72 · 5:00pm Jul 24th, 2023
Giving the themed week thing another whirl today. This one has been in the planning for much longer than Cadance’s outing, mind, all the way back to January, if you can believe it. Which feels fitting for background pony Berry Punch, more often than not portrayed as a barpony, that it would gestate until the time is right.
The reason I went with this at all was, off writing a Jinglemas story last December with Berry Punch (and Spike!), I thought it would be neat to spotlight different takes on the character. I had seen enough of her in Ponyfic to know that most of her portrayals were of a very cynical, jaded variety (sometimes as a town drunk, played for laughs or seriously), with a heavy irony in her outlook on life. Quite a ways removed from how I write characters, which is why, after brief flirtation with her being an all-knowing bartender (akin to GapJaxie’s The Perfect Drink, reviewed here with an Excellent), I settled with a grounded depiction that was upbeat and jolly partly as a distancing mechanism, but not incapable of being sincerely sympathetic. A ways removed from nearly any other Berry Punch depiction, but it worked for me, and satisfied the recipient, so all’s well that ends well!
Or not. Regular readers will have well picked this up by now, but I don’t have a great limit for fics of the cynical and/or dark variety when it’s not written well and with a purpose. And, for whatever reason, as I kept my eye out over the weeks and then months, the overwhelming majority of Berry Punch-starring fics (for many are just side roles of course) played fully into this and were self-evidently not written well, to the point that, once I had three fics stockpiled, time just went on without seeing finding others.
Now, I’m sure many of you could call me out here, citing a quality Berry Punch fic that would fit my tastes and be short enough to get in here, that I wasn’t looking properly. And perhaps that’s just evidence I need to actively socialise on Fimfiction more, and reach out to the crowd when stuck. But the fact remained that, despite nearly nearly 600-tagged fics, between the almost-fully-off-limits Mature ones (more than the Everyone one, fittingly for a character rarely seen far from drink in some capacity), length concerns, evident quality from the packaging, fics that would have worked but just had her tagged in a minor role, and the rest, I was left wanting by most I saw.
Finally, a month back, I found two other fics, and here we are. You will see in my takes below that, all in all, this particular fandom character, even in fics I can roll with, still tends to be used in ways and for stories I’m only game for in small doses. Omnipresent all-knowing bartender excepted, but not all authors can be GapJaxie. Guess this is how all those people not hot on OctaScratch felt during its heyday, eh (among whose company I’m sure I’d have shared were I there? This may well be the most “taste is subjective” of the seventy-two weeks to date here. Regardless, all of these fics looked promising or had endorsement I trusted, so in they went.
Settle in, and place your cocktail order, fellas – Ms. Punch has you covered.
Also, I’m still a bit slow to get used to Ruby/Berry Pinch being Berry’s de facto daughter/younger sister, because only earlier this year was it pointed out to me that this fandom link came from a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment in “Bridle Gossip”. I didn’t think it had any show basis at all, even as a fandoncanon stretch case (as far as I’m aware, Dinky being Derpy’s daughter doesn’t). Considering how many times I’ve seen “Sisterhooves Social”, Piña Colada is the filly I associate more with Berry. Course, this connection was 10 months behind Ruby Pinch’s in the fandom’s explosive birth phase, so it mattered not to the fandom by then. Point being, I tend to not really know what to make of Ruby/Berry Pinch around Berry Punch, as daughter or sister, in these fics. Which matters, as Berry tends to have Ruby around in quite a decent amount of her fics. She ended up being in more than half of these, while poor Piña had nothing at all. Aw…
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
It Spills Over by ambion
We Get Diplomatic Immunity, Right? by Pascoite
Saboteurs by Raugos
One Berry To Another by Nimnul
Ferment Unrest by FanOfMostEverything
Weekly Word Count: 26,268 Words
It Spills Over by ambion
Genre: Sad/Slice of Life
Berry Punch, Other (Berry Pinch), Spike, Twilight, OC
7,518 Words
March 2014
For a long time now, Berry Punch has been so deep in the throes of her addiction to alcohol, and unable to break out of it. Though she tries, she fears ending it just as much, possibly even more. And it’s affecting those around her, not least her own daughter. Now, around Hearth’s Warming, in what may well be her final struggle to swim out of these treacherous waters, her newfound desperation may uncover somepony – or somedragon – that can help. Or not. It’s still down to her.
My experience with this fic will forever be coloured by it being cited by my Jinglemas recipient, Winter_Solstice, as their favourite story, and thus they also wanted a story featuring Berry Punch and Spike that was an exploration of both addiction and a bittersweet look at the holiday. Heck of a pressuring request to get, I’m sure you’ll agree, and so, I decided I wasn’t going to do a story too similar, for there would be no chance of living up to Winter’s lofty opinion of this if I was playing in the same wheelhouse. Thus I didn’t read it until after Jinglemas was over. This proved wise, for after reading it later, I had another reason for having made the right play: it was far too exemplary and sophisticated for me to remotely write with that nuance, and writing with this over my shoulder would have stifled my ability to write at all.
This is, above all else, a depiction of what it is like to live with an addiction, and how it’s not something you can just get over or abstain from to move past, but something where recovery is something you do and sustain going forward, and it doesn’t get easier. Long before that, the way ambion portrays Berry’s problem, with cracked imagery alternating with sobering, fragmented thoughts, does a phenomenal job of capturing what this must be like (never been addicted myself, but it was quite sobering to read), holding little back in Berry Punch staggering through her day, with everything from how her daughter Berry Pinch has to mostly look after herself via unintended neglect, to the subtle yet pervasive state of their home.
Neither does the strong characterisation stop at them. Spike’s depiction as his own individual who just gets what Berry Punch is struggling with, a base instinct that can’t be snuffed out, only suppressed whenever it rises, and reads others ponies and the community far better than many give him credit for – it’s all great. And Twilight as the one who can’t comprehend addiction but tries to help is really good too.
I’d touched on the language already, but it really is quite something throughout, how offbeat descriptions of events or thoughts are used to make the beauty, the harshness and the realism of the situation and events penetrate deeply. Whether they be capitalising on the winter imagery or not (it’s not quite a Robert Frost poem, don’t worry). All these moments reinforce the whole picture and leave it stronger than it might have been.
Even now, I’m not convinced it doesn’t deserve an Excellent, as the cases where the phrasing and language use come across as lumpy, occasionally laggy pacing and jarring POV shifts barely register in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps it just rings truer for those who have been through a similar addiction, I don’t know. Regardless, it’s a phenomenal fic with a hefty recommendation, and while my impression will be dominated by “great, no way I could have delivered something like that, good thing I held off reading it and did my own thing”, that’s no slight against it.
Rating: Really Good
We Get Diplomatic Immunity, Right? by Pascoite
Genre: Comedy/Slice of Life (Equestria Girls, w/Human)
Berry Punch, Celestia, OC
4,305 Words
April 2019
Some might say it’s a privilege to get told off in pony by the Princess herself. Berry Punch doesn’t know if she’d say that, given she’s the one getting told off. Plus, she didn’t technically break any laws. Certainly nothing that would justify this criminal-like treatment. But, it is quite the tale, how she got to this point. All involving a discovery of a great way to make money…
This story isn’t just told in flashback form after opening with Berry in major trouble; the whole thing is nested flashbacks, with each chapter itself being chronological but the next one jumping back a day or so. That naturally makes getting into any real detail here hard, because both the gimmick and the story itself relies on the surprise. Suffice to say seizing on a greedy opportunity from being a cultural ambassador wasn’t Berry’s smartest hour.
The general tone and comedy along the way is entertaining enough, largely playing in the territory of dry, witty asides and absurd details that are glossed over for comedic effect, all with a Berry voice that is different enough from how she usually is while still feeling unmistakably her. She’s not cynical, not exactly world-weary, but has a certain drive and energy. It works.
Of course, the wrapped chronology and the condensed storytelling it results in from the backwards skips gives this fic a lot of energy, making what is a bit of a gimmick skate on by. Honestly, for a Bingo fic, this was a good strategy, making the compatibility difficulties into a storytelling element by going backwards and piquing the reader’s curiosity. For keeping me guessing and engaged, it’s an amusing bit of silliness. Not quite my thing normally, but I enjoyed it. Worth it for a good chuckle or two.
Rating: Decent
Ruby Pinch and her mother Berry Punch may look like an ordinary mother and daughter. Well, as ordinary as a surly mother who’s a drinker and a smoker on and off being a barmaid can, anyway. But Lyra knows better. They’re up to something. Something sinister. How else to explain Ruby’s unrivalled physical prowess and the ponies sent from Foal Protection Services that never return? Ignoring Bon Bon’s reasonable rebuffs to every one of these points, Lyra sets out to expose the truth, before it’s too late.
Lyra being the crazy one in this pair, one that largely follows their “Slice of Life” backstory, is an odd dynamic to swallow. The story basically starts off with Lyra’s suspicions in full swing, to the point the reasons for them are relayed in dialogue after-the-fact somewhat clunkingly. That said, the dynamic between her and Bon Bon is strong and nicely off-kilter here (I liked the way they worked more than I usually do with this overplayed fandom couple, and amazingly, this leaves it ambiguous as to whether they’re friends or more. Now that’s restraint!
As for the Berry Punch and Ruby Pinch aspects, I’m not sure what to say; this is truly absurd material played utterly straight, which at first is an amusing contrast, but proves to be kind of a one-note joke, enough that when other angles to them are hinted at/played out later on, they fall kind of flat. The action adventure/thriller stuff that populates the back half is quite a ride, assuming the bizarre twists have landed for the reader (let’s just say there’s some dystopian horror at the margins). It’s effective silly stuff, but due to a tonal and pacing mismanagement issue, I found it shoots itself in the foot somewhere along the way.
Argos admitted this was written purely as a joke crackfic that ballooned from an initial guess of 2K to over 8K somewhere in writing. That’s not to say there isn’t enough material here for that length, for there is. But the irony and absurdity of a situation this ridiculous played super-straight from Lyra’s POV loses its lustre somewhere along the way, and once it’s gone, we’re left with wacky answers to the above that, frankly, lack energy. To say nothing of a deliberately anticlimatic ending that feels like it should work, but instead leaves the whole fic with an out-of-place full-stop (not that this needs more, just the tonal way was too lost by then to make it land). There’s a balance between the different tones here that just doesn’t gel like it should. I suspect most folks will like this if that sort of stuff appeals to them, but I don’t know. This just left me muddled more than anything.
Rating: Passable
One Berry To Another by Nimnul
Genre: Slice of Life
Tempest, Berry Punch, Ruby Pinch, Other
3,062 Words
October 2017
Though the Friendship Festival is in full swing, Tempest Shadow remains unenthusiastic about conversation with these happy-go-lucky partying ponies. Loitering around on the sidelines, she crosses paths with a rather cynical yet oddly insightful earth pony drinks vendor, who has more than a few nuggets of wisdom to share about getting your own life back on track after screwing it up.
Honestly compels me to state upfront that the author was using this post-movie fic primarily as a sort of self-contained introduction to their characterisation of Berry Punch (and also Ruby Pinch) present in their prior longform fics. And this absolutely shows, not just for that being all there is to the story but for both the conversation, shared details and energy/focus of the fic being fully diverted to her. Which, hey, I am here looking for takes on Berry Punch, so it’s not a huge issue, but a little balance, at least enough to feel less like a manifesto and more like a fully-immersive work, would have been nice.
This is mostly only a quibble, as this take of Berry is very interesting. Here is a pony with a criminal past, a mix of being very jaded about life, tossing around half-joking, half serious threats of severe physical violence (something of a quite-effective running gag for the fic, seeing what the next one will be), while also warmed back on the right path via her daughter Ruby. This is far less standard then it sounds, as this Ruby being a bit distant from her mother still while also putting her in her place. Oh, and while Berry does offer advice of the wiser “the others’ take that you can just move past your past is hogwash, you can’t ever forget and forgive, but you can own it” variety, she makes it clear she doesn’t care about Tempest, and were the circumstances different, she wouldn’t be doing this. So, quite a cynical pony!
This cynicism doesn’t turn the fic all that bleak and sour; Nimnul does a good job at using the cadence of the dialogue between Berry and Tempest to make it always intriguing and compelling even when it’s rather mirthless. It all makes for a very fascinating and original take on Berry, albeit one that did wear me down right around the end; I wouldn’t want to read more of this Berry, certainly not if the narrative construction around her isn’t solid enough (and as the longer fic came before this, it probably isn’t, as the author themselves admits). But good dialogue is a hard skill to learn, and while I wouldn’t call this great dialogue and flow, it’s compelling enough for its length. A bit prickly for my tastes, but worth it.
Rating: Decent
Ferment Unrest by FanOfMostEverything
Genre: Comedy/Slice of Life
Berry Punch, Kirins
3,057 Words
May 2021Reread
Twilight hosting a World’s’ Fair several years into her reign to further promote friendship and togetherness seems perfectly reasonable and valid. To a local of Ponyville like Berry Punch who’s known her a long time, and thinks of her proclivity for attracting chaos, she has a feeling something will go awry, but goes along. These things tend to work out. And so it is, during a lull of running her booze stall for the event, she ends up chatting with the timid kirin running the neighbouring stall, sharing cultural differences, trade secrets, and their drinks. Among other things. Will this go well, or will things get worse before they get better? Given Berry’s stirred curiosity about kirin beverages, it’s anycreature’s guess.
A trend in the prior Berry stories featured here is that they are from the POV of the other featured character (or a loose third-person one, for Pascoite’s We Get Diplomatic Immunity, Right?). Thus giving us an outside window through which to view her character (usually lunacy). I suppose, given how fandom depictions of Berry tend to lean, this fits as a common take. So it’s appropriate and refreshing to get one with Berry as the perspective character; accordingly, she is a little less loony, detached and cynical than usual, though this is still very much in that wheelhouse. The balance of not hitting the irony is well-maintained, which I appreciate (a lot of FoME’s work sails right past it, being far too much for me regardless of still working for its audience). Like most Berry’s, her depiction is too tailored to a short form comic narrative to last beyond the story, but she works, in the balance between world-weary, cockiness, and calm.
The kirin Berry is paired with, named offhand by Autumn Blaze in the show as Fern Flare, makes for a good contrast, being more timid and reserved without ever becoming a Fluttershy-type. This results in lively and enthusiastic dialogue between the two. It’s a lightweight lark, with no greater pretence than being amusing, while interspersed with more typical-FoME ironic humour, though more measured in its choices. Not to say it doesn’t have a story or escalating conflict, especially as Berry takes Fern’s warning about most kirin drinks being indigestible for ponies as a challenge, albeit a friendly one that will bring everycreature together if successful. But even that’s in the same breezy tone as the rest.
Obviously, this being a post-series fic (but pre-epilogue, with one of the better turns of phrase rung from an oft-kilter description of Twilight with a Cadance-sized body), it’s dabbling in all the parts of canon I’m very cool on, but the story does justify this, so it can be let by. Somewhat – not unlike their past In Markmoriam, the twist punchline for the ending doesn’t vibe with this spirit one iota. For those less bothered by such things, bump this up a rating.
Rating: Decent
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 1
Pretty Good: 0
Decent: 3
Passable: 1
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
Soc... Socialize? What is this word, why does it sound so terrible, and what do I do to keep it the hell away from me at all costs?
Now that you bring it up, I realize I haven't read a lot of Berry Punch-specific stories. The only one on this list I recognize is We Get Diplomatic Immunity, Right?, which I rated about the same as you did it seems.
But ambion is a name I recognize, having reviewed several of their works, and I've not rated a single one below Pretty Good. Perhaps I shall give that one a look.
The immature power of random association dropped this in my head:
The thing to bear in mind is that in the first weeks of the fandom, every detail was scrutinized for what it could tell us about the residents of Ponyville. Including Berry dragging Ruby inside as Zecora came to town... and, for that matter, Berry drinking straight from the punch bowl three episodes later.
For a three-week period, the only datum on this particular mare was her concern over foals being exposed to creepy forest hermits, and she was known as OPPP (Over-Protective Parent Pony.) She didn't get cemented as the town lush until "Call of the Cutie." Sometimes first impressions aren't everything.
I can certainly understand my writing being a bit much, especially something as casually absurd as Fermenting Unrest. Still, thanks for giving it another look ,and I'm glad it was able to serve as sufficiently acceptable fodder for the character roundup. Also, I recommend Sharing a Cloud for building an entire family of characters more or less whole-cloth.
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Ha, you know me, I am in a similar boat!
The point was raised more because the scenario I described has precisely happened – when I did a week of just Cadance fics, several comments said "Ghost Mike, these Cadance fics when Skywriter's back catalog is right there? Come on now." I was half anticipating a similar response of missing some obvious Berry Punch fandom classic or mini classic.
Yeah, truth be told, just shy of 600 stories isn't a lot for a background pony there since basically Day 1 (okay, December 2010). Nothing like the giants of Derpy, Lyra, Bon Bon, Vinyl Scratch or Octavia (despite Berry beating the latter two to first appearance). The lack of a clear romantic pairing to put Berry in, and that her common "town drunk/barmare" take usually lends itself to being a bit player, or at best a supporting one (when I sorted her storing by rating, most of the top ones belonged to other characters where she was minor) is probably the main culprit.
It's powerful stuff, and without the baggage I had from being told "hey, I love this story, I'd like your take on similar concepts with these characters?", you'll probably find it even more so. Plus, I know from your reviews how much you like your down-to-the-darkest-depths-of-the-soul character studies.
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Believe me, man – I am very well aware of this, only a few moths into my fandom plunge in January 2018. And I knew well about Berry's moment in "Call of the Cutie" being the main fandom gestation. I had just missed the moment in "Bridle Gossip" – with seven seasons to work with and new episodes about to drop, I wasn't going to remember everything. And perhaps because I love "Sisterhoods Social" so much, it just was loud and clear in my mind as Berry's bigger moment. Certainly as little filly relatives go.
I sometimes get the feeling you think I don't enjoy your works much. That's not true – I very much do. There's just a combination of a lot of your library being off limits for me due to subject/character matter being very much not my tastes (I'm sure your Oversaturation is as great as everyone says – doesn't change my gut tastes for all but a few EqG fics), some being too long to pick casually (not many, you are largely a short form writer, but with 140+ stories, it's still a decent chunk), and others indulging in parts of canon that are just… bleugh to me. Which I wouldn't expect anything less – you are the FiCG lad who does Herculean work to make even the incompatible and terrible parts of canon work and be delectable/interesting, and thus at the bare minimum, you're able and willing to wing one-shots from almost anything. Just often of the over-ironic comedy variety.
Not unlike your similar In Markmoriam, this story was a Pretty Good nearly the whole way through until the ending, which made it lose just enough altitude to dip. So, it's a high Decent! And honestly, of all the Berry Punch fics here today, I'd put it 2nd for my personal enjoyment (it probably had my personal favourite Berry too).
Really, take out/rework the tonally-discordant and overplayed-jokes that are the opening narration scene-setter and the ending, and this would have been a perfectly middle-of-the-road Pretty Good, something nicely pleasant, wryly amusing and casually absurd without being too overplayed at all. And then, account for the "post-Twilight-ruler canon, yuck" personal taste (which I realise was something near-mandatory by the Kirins' presence, so I accepted it without question), and it'd be a high Pretty Good for this parallel Ghost Mike. 👻
Ha, knew there would be at least one "here's a solid Berry Punch fic you missed"! But much appreciated.
Middle of the road feels about right for that one. It was fun to write, and I'd never tried a backward story before.
5739175
Dat early fandom, man. Right up there along with Celestia being obsessed with cakes.
It's pretty interesting seeing Mike examine these characters who exploded in early fanon interpretations with the unattached scrutiny of a relative latecomer. Neat little different perspective, although I'm a bit biased because the Vinyl/Lyrabon/Derpy bugs never bit me either.
The only one of these I know is Ferment Unrest, and it did the ticket for me. Sometimes we don't read stories for deeper meanings, poignant philosophy, or even to split our sides with laughter. Sometimes we just want to spend another 3k words in Equestria, sharing little pieces of their lives.
The only one of these I've read is It Spills Over, which I liked a lot. (That may or may not be relevant to your choosing it to read.) Definitely one of the most satisfying fics I've come across with Berry.
When it's not the focus of the story, it's more fun to keep people guessing!
The whole thing is pretty much a Terminator 2 reference. I decided to leave it ambiguous as to whether the shenanigans are real or just Berry being crazy (which shouldn't be too far outside the norm for Ponyville), because anything more probably would've necessitated a proper, longer story rather than a crackfic.
Thanks for the review!
On another note, regarding early fandom stuff...
Man you should've seen the fandom's interpretation of Luna pre-Season 2. She was pretty much Fluttershy 2.0 - all shy and withdrawn and riddled with confidence issues, but then canon Luna turned out to be fun and boisterous and LOUD. And she has batpony guards! When there were leaked images of her appearance in Season 2, people were calling them fake because she was darker and taller than her Season 1 appearance. The reactions were priceless when we got to see the actual episode.