new story idea · 2:18am Aug 26th, 2023

still working out how the ‘ling meets the princess

I stepped out of my little hole in the ground, having just fled from the Hive shortly after Queen Chrysalis, in all her glory, decided to go through with her plan of invading Canterlot. Now, what I am doing could be seen as treason, to go against the will of the Queen, and by extension, the Hive. I don’t give two horseshoes about that; what the Queen is planning could start a bucking war! And with how powerful Equestria is as a nation, there won’t be a Hive by the time Celestia is through with us! That mare is horrifying, capable of raising the sun, and at her command, can decide if another nation, such as the Hive, should be wiped off the face of the earth. And she has the power to do it herself if need be.

Queen Chrysalis is strong, but Celestia, by comparison, is weak. It would be like a hatchling fighting a fully grown Ursa Major.

So I wanted nothing to do with the Hive for the time being. Now, I am starving, but that’s nothing new. Our Hive is always short on food. I also never really left the Hive, but I have heard stories from the infiltrators. Ponies, as long as they don’t find out what you are, are pretty friendly. But if they find out who you are… Well, we’ve lost some good drones in the past, due to ponies. Before me stood a town, a pony town. Yes! After months! Months of traveling with no end in sight, there it stands! A pony settlement. I quickly donned a disguise, just some light-brown stallion with a dark brown mane. Nothing that’ll make me stand out.

I smiled slightly, ready to begin my new life. I may end up living in this little hole in the ground for a while, but this is definitely gonna lead to a brighter future!

So, it’s been about a week since I have entered this pony settlement. I still live in that hole in the ground I have found, just outside of town. Town… what an odd word. In the Hive, we just had ‘clusters’. There were villages, townships, towns, and then cities. In that order, it went from smallest to biggest, and was based on population. Clusters, no matter how large… were clusters, so ponies seem to be a bit dumb for calling groups of homes different based on how many ponies are in a settlement, but that’s just me. Speaking of towns, the one I came across happened to become Ponyville.

Why ponies would choose such a stupid name is beyond me, as names such as ‘kzzt tzzz’ and ‘zitzit ziz’ are far better names for clusters.

Anyways, I found myself a job, which wasn’t too hard. I just gave food out to ponies at a cafe. Eventually, some day, I will be able to buy a house. Why? I don’t know, but it would help me fit in. Ponies sleep on something called a ‘bed’ for some reason, under a blanket. Now, the Queen also gets to have a bed, but I didn’t see the appeal. Sleeping on the cold, hard ground with nothing covering you except another changeling that managed to break into your den, that is how everyling, and everypony should sleep… Everypony. That’s a dumb word, but again, ponies are dumb, and I have to learn to accept their dumb ways; I want to fit in with them and peacefully live amongst them.

Now if only I didn’t have to live in disguise. I don’t think anypony would want to see me for me.

I also have a pile of gold coins. Despite me saying ‘no’, I got paid anyway. Bits were a dumb concept, but whatever. I even told my boss that seeing a customer smile was enough, because I got to nibble at a pony’s happiness, or their anger, whenever I served a cup of coffee, or a muffin, whatever. It doesn’t matter; it all tastes bad no matter what it is. Especially these… apples. Those things were grown in a nearby farm, were red, sometimes yellow or green, and tasted like if another changeling decided to throw some heavily digested, liquid love into your mouth after it’s been in their stomach for three days.

That being said, I kinda liked apples anyways. I just couldn’t eat a lot of anything, because that would probably poison me. After I ate one, I started feeling less empty, so that’s probably not good. Feeling empty is good; it means your stomach is full of emotions!

That’s what Queen Chrysalis said, but then again, she tends to hog any love she gets for herself instead of sharing it.

And also, I think her invasion of Canterlot was supposed to happen today. That was still a dumb decision. But the Queen knows best, and she also knows the best way to get our whole Hive killed.

So, about a week after the week I came into Ponyville, I entered town after a nice day of poking a rock for a couple hours, to go to work. I had my usual pony disguise, wearing the hat that was a part of my uniform, before stopping just at the entrance. The entire place was filled with ponies wearing yellow armor, walking around, looking scary, and talking to random civilians. One even asked a derpy-looking-pegasus if she was a changeling for some reason, and then hit her with a spell. After the spell did nothing, the pegasus walked off… and into a streetlamp, which knocked that over and started a fire.

That happens way too often. Put your pegasus on a leash, you idiots!

Suddenly I was nose to nose with something pink, and staring into a pair of blue eyes. “I knew a new pony would show up when I’m out of town!”

“What the buck!” I jumped, and fell to the ground. “Who the heck are you?” Standing before me was a pony that was disgustingly pink. Like she was overly pink, I bet her name was-

“I’m Pinkie Pie, but you can call me Pinkie! I bet you’ve heard of me by now! Oh I am so ready to throw you the best ‘welcome to Ponyville Party…’ What’s your name? I bet your name is Dark Knight or something cool!”

“...It’s Stink Beatle,” yes, that’s the name I came up with for my disguise. Look, I don’t know what the heck I was doing, my job application needed a name, so I used my actual name, and added some stupid word to the front of it in order to make it seem more ‘pony like’! Don’t judge me, Mom! You wouldn’t even care if you knew where I was… Queen Chrysalis is a terrible mother. “So why do you want to throw me a party?” I don’t know why, I don’t know what, but I want to get away from this pony. She was so damn happy that it was giving me a stomach ache, and if I’m not careful, hiccups! Why the buck was she so god damn… Oh, I taste a bit of depression in that giant ball of happy fluff. I think I know what’s happening in that head of hers, but whatever.

Anyways, after Pinkie spent a good seven minutes of talking about basically nothing, without breathing, “Something about you seems off by the way… I know! It’s because you don’t have friends! I know, I’ll introduce you to some of mine! Starting with Twilight Sparkle!” Wait, what? What the buck? No! I have a job! I want to do my job! No, go away… Legs, I hate you, why are you going with the Pink Spawn of Tirek, and not towards the cafe? I hate you, I am going to cut you off when I… Buck, I need these legs.

You are lucky, back lefty, you live another day.

I suddenly don’t like Twilight Sparkle. You see, after we entered a library that had been closed for the last week, I wondered why ponies would want to have a library. You see, books were outlawed in the Hive, probably because they were all dumb. Then again, music, happiness, and recreation were also outlawed; you had a job, and if you didn’t, you were put to death. The crowd over the singularity or whatever. It’s… why I would rather be at my job than here. And also because Twilight Sparkle was terrifying.

Ever since we entered, Twilight was giving me the stink eye. Like she was beginning to make my carapace chip with how sharp her stare was. “And that’s how I met Stink Beatle!”

“Pinkie, did you stop to make sure that whoever you were talking to wasn’t a changeling?”

“No! He can’t be a changeling, changelings are bad, and Stinky hasn’t done anything bad at all! Though, he did wander in from town after crawling out of a hole somewhere out of Ponyville; I’ve been following him since he left that hole. He looked so lonely, so I wanted to be his friend!” What the-this pony is mental-buck? How did she know where my den was? I… did she hear me sing to a rock because of how lonely it is out there? I slowly turned to Pinkie. “So, you aren’t a changeling, right Stinky?” I hate that name so much. “You’re a pony, right?”

“Can I just leave? I don’t like how-” a blast of purple hit me, and I was sent flying into a nearby bookcase. Lucky me, most of my carapace took the blow, so it only mildly hurt. I rubbed the back of my head. “Sweet Chrysalis, you could’ve killed me! What were you thinking you hay for brain…” I looked at my hoof, my undisguised hoof. I quickly turned it into a mirror, and… Buck. “Uh…” My hosts were not super happy looking. Well, Twilight looked outright hateful, but Pinkie was actually shaking while smiling. “Huh, I didn’t know I was a changeling-”

“Oh yippee! I can throw the first ‘welcome to Ponyville, Stinky the Changeling’ party ever!”

“Pinkie! That’s a changeling. What did we say about changelings?” I suddenly felt myself unable to move my limbs, and also suspended in magic. Twilight’s magic is bucking strong! I can’t replicate magic like this, but I can feel… I could be crushed in a heartbeat should Twilight feel inclined to do something.

“That changelings are bad. And Twilight, this one can’t be that bad, he hasn’t even done anything yet! If he did, my Pinkie Sense would’ve caught it!” Pinkie jumped. “And he didn’t even try to foalnap me and take my place! Though, I wonder what happened to the real Stinky.”

“I just wanted to go to work,” I sighed. “Can’t a ‘ling try and make his way in the world?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. However, whatever else I was thinking was silenced when my rear crashed into the floor, and I was suddenly tied up.

“Tell me, ‘Stinky’, if that’s your real name where is your Queen, and why did she invade Canterlot?’” Twilight demanded.

So, I could tell the truth, and probably get off scot free, but lying is the changeling way! On the other hoof, self preservation, on the other, keeping the Hive- “I don’t bucking know why the Queen thought invading your stupid, bucking city was a good idea! She just decided to do it, so I left the Hive shortly after she announced her plans! I just wanted to go out, explore, and live life! I only came to Ponyville about a week ago, and have been here for two weeks! I don’t know where Queen Chrysalis is, and I just want to go crawl in my den and suck on my rock… You’re really scary.”

“Quit bucking lying to me, and tell me where your Queen is, or I will go get some guards and have them drag you to Canterlot for trial!” Oh. Well, so much for telling the truth. It’s a good thing that Changelings can’t produce waste such as feces. Otherwise, the floor below me would be covered in it. I started shivering in fear as Twilight continued to leer at me, and try to make me answer questions about changelings, how their bodies worked, literally anything she could think of. I couldn’t bring myself to answer anything; I felt like I’d die if this mare thought I was lying, and she already thought I was going to keep lying to her.

“Buck it! I’m going to get a guard, Pinkie, you’re coming with me. Spike!” A baby dragon poked his head out of a side door. “Make sure this changeling doesn’t escape. He shouldn’t be able to move; he’s tied up!” The dragon nodded, before sticking his head back into the door where it was. Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle walked out the door, and I felt the magic that was holding me still fade away. After a few hours of me just sitting on my butt, waiting for death, I figured it would be best for me to try and flee. Maybe Manehattan will have some more… accepting ponies.

I slipped out of my ropes, checking in on the baby dragon, who was napping, before figuring it would be safe to try and leave. So I quickly tiptoed back into the main room, getting ready to finally make my escape through the front door. I assumed a new disguise, a yellow unicorn with a hammer for a cutie mark, before the door opened and my nose bumped into something. That something was another nose, a nice, long, white snout that led to… Oh buck… I just booped noses with the Princess! I am so dead. I might;’ve been able to pass off for a simple stallion, hoping to check out a cookbook before running for the hills. I backed away, I could feel my ears pin against the back of my head as I tried to put some distance in between me and Princess Celestia.

I quickly bowed. “Oh hello, your highness! I didn’t expect to see you-”

My muzzle was shut by a yellow aura. Celestia was currently hunched over, which was odd, until I realized that the doorframe really only came up to the base of her neck. “Stop before you embarrass yourself, my little pony. You don’t need to worry about what you have just done… Though there is something important we must discuss; you’re going to have to come with me to Canterlot once all is said and done.” Oh. Well, I’m going to die.

“But Princess Celestia!” Oh, that was Twilight. “That’s a changeling! Watch!” I was hit with the same purple beam, but this time I didn’t get sent flying into a nearby bookcase. My disguise was torn away from me, leaving me as my normal, changeling self, in front of Princess Celestia. “See? Why aren’t you-”

“Well, this changeling hasn’t done anything wrong, has he? From what Pinkie says, and from what you’ve said, he appears to just be trying to live amongst us ponies. Tell me, Mr. Changeling, do you happen to have a name? If not, do not worry about it, but I would like to call you something other than Mr. Changeling; that would be pretty racist. So, what do you call yourself, and why are you in Ponyville? I will cast a lie detection spell, so you best not lie to me, okay?” Celestia’s smile was warm… She felt slightly angry, but not entirely mad. If anything… It was a rather inviting feeling. Celestia was being friendly towards me! What the heck?

“I just wanted to get away from the Hive, your highness. Queen Chrysalis announced her plans to invade Canterlot a while ago, and I didn’t want any part in it. What the Queen was doing was leading the Hive into oblivion by poking a sleeping giant. I wanted to live amongst you ponies; I even worked at a little cafe and was hoping to buy a house. I’ve not harmed anyone as I can feed off of love that’s idly floating around, or get a nibble from the excitement from customers in the cafe. I’m not here to hurt anypony, I don’t want to do anything more than live, Princess. If you want to execute me, then I suppose I’ll die for no reason.” A sat on my rump. “I was going to probably get killed during the invasion anyway.” Princess Celestia hummed.

“You aren’t going to be executed, but I do have to take you to Canterlot with me. It’s not to hurt you, question you, or imprison you.” She sighed. “Sadly, you booped my nose,” oh no. Is that illegal? Celestia giggled, like she knew what I was thinking. “It’s not particularly illegal, but there is an old law, one I should’ve revoked a while ago. Though it is a law I may have forgotten about…” Celestia sighed. “C’mon Celly, just say it,” she muttered. Oh boy. “You’re going to have to marry me.” I blinked a couple of times, staring dead into space. There wasn’t any sort of emotions in that mixed bag that said she was joking. Twilight and Pinkie stood there with their jaws hanging, not being able to comprehend what she had just said.

“...You have to marry that thing?” Twilight asked. “You’re joining, right Princess?”

“I’m afraid that I am serious, Twilight. I have to marry this changeling or I will cease to be a Princess.” Oh. I… Princess Celestia looked down at me with a warm smile. “Will you help me with this dilemma? I’m certain we will find a solution that will leave you as a free changeling; then we can work on making you a citizen of Equestria!”

“Uh… I guess I’ll have to,” I rubbed the back of my head. “I know I should be more shocked, or terrified, but I… Honestly, I don't know how to comprehend what you just told me, what it implies, and what I now have to do.” I stood up. “Let’s get this over with. Who knows, maybe we’ll end up a happily unwedded couple!”

Pinkie Pie chose now to speak up. “But I wanna plan a marriage party first!”

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