TOTALLY NOT AN ADBOT: GIVE ME CROPS OF MONEY FOR STATUS BOOST · 7:24pm Last Thursday
This random product among hundreds mentioned on-site relates not at all totally to My Little Pony fanfiction and has a better chance of annoying someone on YouTube was designed by top market research analysts for your needs.
Hello, I am a legitimate fan and totally not a dumbass electro-parrot made in a shady office block, so [insert serious description of product's utility here to entice whatever customers happen to pass by].
More information on Random Product below!
Ngoài ra, không ai ở đây nói được ngôn ngữ tôi đang sử dụng, nhưng ai quan tâm chứ? "Besides, no one here speaks the language I'm using, but who cares?"
Tôi ngu hơn cả một túi đá, và có lẽ bạn cũng vậy! "I'm dumber than a bag of rocks, and maybe you are too!"
Đó là điều tôi đang trông cậy vào! "That's what I'm counting on!"
Blog số 263: "Mua đồ tào lao của tôi!" Phiên bản
Here on Fimfiction, we know that you're a random Internet user who needs an iPhone/comprehensive analysis/business card printed in Dubai/verified account system/fleecing of your hard-earned money. Random Product is 100% guaranteed for Random Internet User!
After all, you are our number one valued customer in the same way a blade of wheat is a farmer's number one valued customer.
That's why at SwarmTheInternetUntilPeopleWantToHuntDownATrollFarmAndBurnItToTheGround Inc., we're desperate forward-looking enough to release a plague of electronic mosquito-bots to bite and suck your blood widespread smart public notification systems as part of our wear-your-sanity-down-until-you-surrender-to-the-cultural-invasion public outreach plan. All to water and fertilize you till you give us something streamline your ergonomic, synergistic lifestyle!
Innovations that were limited a decade ago have now blossomed into an improved corporate-consumer connection protocol to maximize both profits and product availability, meaning we can finally make the dreams of stockholder gamblers ponyfic-writing business clients come true.
What is Random Product?
Random Product is a thing that you could absolutely live without, but since no one approves of this state of affairs (as per standard economic "GIMME MOAR, MOOAARR! Come on, we're playin' the game of One-Upmanship here, people!" policy), we've included some high-quality functions. Based on the latest consumer research such as those on stress-related psychological biases and intuitive cognitive fallacies, Random Product is carefully designed to imply and subtly, passive-aggressively implant the idea into your overworked, paranoid, status-obsessed head that skipping our product will make you feel like a downgraded second-class citizen. That way, a clever combination of subtle peer pressure, ennui with your lack of status mobility, "Fear Of Missing Our Product" a.k.a. "F.O.M.O.P.", and culturally inculcated inability to express yourself without "retail therapy" will trick you into thinking our product is very useful for your life experience and will probably help you make/keep new friends, or "friends" as we like to call them.
There's also:
- Random Product Pro, which includes a few pointless add-ons but costs you an arm and a leg.
- Random Product Prime, which blackmails you into giving us more money in exchange for not bombarding you with a shitload of immersion-breaking ads.
- Random Product Loyalty Scheme, which is like a drug dependency only legal, plus we'll keep taking your money if you do manage to forget about the stream of Random Updates To Keep You Hooked.
- Random Sex Product, which will probably help you get laid and/or give you a placebo effect and a slight increased risk of cancer.
Random Product is a versatile, test-free, and quality-liberated brand!
Why Should I Buy Random Product?
Random Product is perfectly tailored for [insert current audience][bronies and pegasisters] because it increases our monetary points and hence social status, enabling us to:
- afford more expensive internationally extractive luxuries,
- engage in conspicuous consumption among other like-minded people,
- decrease the capabilities of lower-status populations: disposable workforces, mass populist political fuel, and socioeconomic scapegoats,
- increase our purchasing power for political influence, media conglomerate promotion, and economic control,
- and probably put meat on the table and pay the bills and so forth.
In return, our online services translate a previously weak parasitic relationship into a pretense at a loyalty-earning mutually beneficial scheme for our clients, including you the actual customer. Lastly, Random Product will make your life marginally different and probably make you one of the cool kids.
Does Random Product Have Anything To Do With My Little Pony Fanfiction?
Yes! Random Product is essential for [insert job description here][My Little Pony fanfiction]! It multiplies the quantity of content on the site, diversifies the blog portfolio, and crowds out unnecessary communications in favour of potentially increasing our profits.
Seriously, What's This Got To Do With Pony!?
Random Product is a global franchise welcome to all website users on our target list.
For further information, please click on the link below. You can leave the site anytime, but you are obliged to explain to us in a five-page feedback form why you have chosen to leave the site so we can refine our algorithmic harassment campaign, and we will read your IP address and other online data to sell to someone who totally has your best interests at heart. Rest assured that data protection is our number one priority*.
* After profit-making, power grabs, mergers, hostile takeovers, general stockholder appeasement, covert political funding, media buyouts, public relations spin doctoring, personal lives, football-based water cooler chats, gossip, promotion, office politics, the weather, and literally anything else so long as we don't have to put up with your whiny ungrateful bullshit.
Data protection remains our number one priority, as per standard legal C.Y.A.!
Random Product! Because your fandom is profit-licious.
That's all for now. Impossible Numbers, out!
Thánh Google Dịch! Chỉ có tôi hay có rất nhiều bot quảng cáo trên trang này? "Holy Google Translate! Is it just me or are there a lot of advertising bots on this site?"
Yes: as you can guess, I've had certain experiences lately. 🙄 Just wanted to get it out of my system, heh. 😏
Also, that language is Vietnamese, in case you're wondering.
Care, that's how you transform into one of them. That's how they get you to join their ranks. It all starts with a small step -- a jest seemingly inconsequential... It's better not to toy with eldritch powers of digital ghosts
5788847
This is a very insightful comment and I agree completely. It is very important that people understand the current situation.
VIAGRA $PAM OR $OME $HIT
sounds good, where do i pay?
5789012
Silly naive citizen... YOU ALREADY PAY.
5789374
oh good that's convenient!