An unusual request

Truth be told, it's probably not that unusual, but maybe it is for me in particular.
This is the exact musical representation of my current mood.

This week, while avoiding the things I'm supposed to be working on and falling directly into the land of shadows within Elden Ring, I've also been desperately trying to beef up my writing count before the month ends. I've written every day since Monday, and for once, I actually have something to show for it. I'm not sure why this story came about or what's been in the back of my mind that caused it, but I wanted to put something out for my Bright Future universe and this is where we are. It's called 'A Drink Between Friends' and if anyone is interested, I'd like to get some pre-readers for it. It's not super long, but is it heavily tied in with my other stories as Big Macintosh, Cheese Sandwhich, Discord, Soarin, Fin Sharp, and Whiskey are the featured characters.

Other than Cheese, who only appears in Ghosting and Just Around the Corner, most of this story covers spoilers for all the other stories involved, especially Discord because he tells a story that I've struggled to get started on for a very long time, but it's related to A Growing Shadow (although, he more or less gives a plot summary of it without going too far into the details from his own POV.) While I do want to eventually get to that, there's kind of a lot I want to do with it and it would be a lot more work than just mentioning it as part of a conversation. The other story I was working on, Glorified, is also sort of foreshadowed in this by Soarin. Still haven't made any progress on that and I was using this as a break from it, but now that it's done I guess I should go back and reread that. A lot of ideas whirling around in here and I'm not really focusing on one in particular.

The audio book is not done and I haven't worked on it since the Elden Ring DLC came out, so that's where we are. I plan to do more editing today after I finish this blog, but I've not recorded in a while and I've still got about four chapters to read. I swear, every time I say something will get done, I never work on it again. It's hard to be me sometimes.

Bringing this back to the new story, I think that's kinda what I wanted to say with it, but I'm not entirely sure. The voices of the five dads talk about things that I tend to think about, but once they start it doesn't feel like me talking anymore and I'm just as surprised to hear what they have to say as Whiskey is in the story. Maybe I still feel like the kid who just turned twenty one and finally managed to get a seat at the adults table. I suppose I don't really know. I'll have to reread it at another time to see how I feel about it.

I went in with the idea that the guys would all take turns talking about something and since, funnily enough, Fin and Whiskey are the least developed characters in my head within this universe, I wanted them to have a story, but Whiskey turned into the main character/audience stand in somehow. The recent Chainsaw Man chapter definitely inspired part of this, the idea of gathering all the main characters into a calm setting before a storm occurs is in there somewhere, but it doesn't really end that way. It's just a chill story about a guy's night, and though I never read anything, I feel like that's not super common in media lately. Maybe I'm just lonely and wishing for a drink and a cigar with my friends who I only get to talk to on discord these days.

A teacher I felt like I've bonded with since I started at this school was here for the last time today and that kinda hurts me. She's just moving to another school, but I looked forward to seeing her on the days she was here. I think I complained about her in another blog at some point and now I feel bad about it. The sudden news it a lot to think about I suppose. This happened to me last year, too. A teacher who would come talk to me a lot just left all the sudden. Not sure if he retired or moved away or what, but he was just gone one day and I still think about him sometimes.

There's been a hint of nihilism in my head lately and I don't particularly like it. The word doomer comes to mind, a lot of the friends I do talk to a lot fit this description, and to be honest, I never believed I did. I think this is a passing feeling just like the rain that's covered the city this past week it's been relentlessly cloudy, abut the rain, in spite of its volume, has yet to fall heavily. A light rain, a misty rain. The graphics card is struggling and the setting have been reduced, fog serves as a bounding box closing in from the mountains and the shore, leaving this little circle around me as all there is to my world. Maybe I'm the one who lives in Downbeat these days. A gentle oppressive fog.

In a lesson this week, I was asked to be more cheerful and I wonder if my inner mood comes across like that. Not really a smiley guy or a people person, but if you manage to work me into a conversation that relates to my interests, I come alive for it. A new(?) teacher who I suppose is only here sometimes has come to teach some lessons next week, and she is on my level. We killed like half an hour just talking about anime which led to me getting her line info and continuing the conversation after school later. Not to jinx or anything, but I'm hoping this becomes a common occurrence whether she just ends up a friend or something more.

Here in Yamaguchi much closer to major cities, I get a lot more matches on the ol' dating app, and tbh, the only people I've been interested in trying to get to know are the ones who know or are into anime which has made me think about what I actually want out of a relationship. I'm not beating the "he just like me fr, fr" allegations because, honestly, all I really want is somebody to watch anime and play games with. I have been relating too much to Denji and I don't really know what to change about myself to stop doing that. I'm hoping the two week break devil stops attacking so I can find the answer.

I've been here before, the summer start blues are playing again and it'll go away, but it sure does suck to be here again. With joys such as these, for what reason should we despair?

Anyways, that's all from me for this week. If you're interested in pre/proof reading that story for me, write a comment about it, and otherwise...
Until Next Time~
-KCZ