Illuminati? · 9:29pm May 1st, 2013
Celestia folded her wings carefully, as she trotted into the gondola. Even after the whole day of travelling in it and seeing it in the sky, she still felt a pang of childish glee whenever she thought about the Skycastle. First operational equestrian airship in almost eight hundred years. Luna still had her touch and then some. Humongous construct could easily rival Canterlot castle in size, yet floated in the sky like a feather. And she was especially glad it would never be used for it`s initial role.
Bridge was empty, save for Luna herself. Celestia trotted in, closing the door behind her securely - "Well, that`s it, sister." Luna perked up - "Oh. Hey, sis. No need for artillery, huh?" She sniffed air, her face slowly splitting in a wide grin - "Is that... did they invented...." Celestia chuckled, producing a wooden box out of her mane. She floated it to Luna, who pulled off a lid excitedly and peered in. "YAY!" "Need a light, sis?" - even though she knew the answer, Celestia liked to tease Luna from time to time. She needed not to bother, for Luna had already pulled a cigar out of the box, lit it and was puffing on it happily. "...Sis, you`re the greatest." - she opined finally, - "Mixed with coffee leaves, too? Our little ponies.. growing up so fast."
Celestia shook her head and chuckled - "You and your little vices." Blue alicorn growled playfully - "Come on, you`ll enjoy those as much as I will!" White one shook her head bemusedly - "You know what?... I think I will, too." She levitated one out of the box, sharp flash of heat illuminating it`s tip for a second, just before she took a drag - "Aaah, yes... I will. Though, Luna? I`d like to insist on keeping that private. If they`ll see either of us smoking, they`re all going to start doing that."
Luna bristled slightly, her wings fluffing - "I understand." She paused, breathing out a small cloud of smoke, - "I`m excited, Celestia. Reintroduction of industry... I can`t wait to get building." White alicorn chuckled - "All via loyal apprentices, of course?" "Apprentices? Why?" - Luna`s brow was quirked. Sighing, Celestia continued - "Yes, apprentices. They will need to be trained, but we should not effect things directly. We are to influence. Suggest. Insinuate. They shall discover things on their own."
Luna shook her head - "The world must know by now, sister. What we`ve done." "Know what? Only that the long dream is at end. As we wake up, all sins are forgiven... Even yours." - interjected sun goddess. "What about Skycastle? And the chaos engine?" - exclaimed Luna worriedly. "Do you really think they`re ready for that? After everything you`ve seen? Everything you`ve done?" - Celestia asked wearily. Goddess of the moon stared on the floor, her head lowered. "...No. Not yet." - she finally answered, bitterly.
"But soon. I have made my own mistakes, became insulated from the world I sought to control, and whatever they may think, the darkness is far from over. But that will change, and you will help me change even as I teach you. This time - this time we will do it right." - offered Celestia, her voice firm with hope. Luna offered her a small smile -"And... who are we, sis? Who are we, really?"
"We are the invisible touch. We are the Illuminati. We come before and after, we are forever. And eventually... Eventually we will lead them into the light."
I really like your dialog between the princesses.
Wish you would do more stuff like this and Alicorny.
1142005
I wonder if you caught the reference in this dialogue.
Sorry, not particularly.
1142013
1142015
Good to know.
You need to put paragraph breaks between the speakers. I kept getting tripped up over who was supposed to be talking. Also, it's not okay to refer to a character as "blue alicorn" as though that's her name. "The blue alicorn" is acceptable, if clunky.
1312100
No, I don`t NEED to do this. I`ve been long ago railing against the fact people assume it`s something I need to do. It annoys me, OK? I hate that style, it`s unpleasant for me to read, and I won`t be using it.
1313532 Well, your choice. I will remind you, however, that writing is a tool for communicating with other people. If you write in a way that other people find unpleasant to read, regardless of your personal feelings, you're going to have a very hard time getting anyone to take you seriously.
1314084
If I were writing this for any other reason then my own amusement, you`d be very much right.
But this is precisely the case here. I write this stuff for me. Yes, it`s complicated cluttered mess that for some strange reason appeals to me. I don`t expect or beseech anyone to like it - but I don`t bar people taking a look at it.