Insane One-Shot Incoming! Pinkie Pie's Ponyville Paranormal Provers Inc. · 1:28am Jun 3rd, 2013
So yeah, to make up for my lack of finished stories as of late for all my fans who still read my crappy work, some for over a year (Holy Jesus I can't believe it's been that long. Explains the mountains of cheetos bags piled up in my moms basement though, I suppose), and partially because I've rediscovered my glorious addiction to coffee (The reason why Mankind has advanced to the point where we can all kill each other. All hail the bean god), I've decided to return to my roots and write a god damned comedy. It should be in the same vein as Nightmare Before Christmas and the Doctor Gets Wasted, and parody a bunch of obvious works. Lookie here at the description of this insanity:
Ponyville is a place filled with mysteries... according to Pinkie Pie, at least. While many merely see what's in front of them, Pinkie has it all figured out. She is a self-proclaimed master of observation, after all.
Twilight, however, disagrees.
Vinyl Scratch is not a vampire, she would say, she is just a pony with strange red eyes. And Octavia, on the other hoof, isn't a 'Land' Siren either, hypnotizing stallions to do her bidding with her music. She's simply a master of both the cello and the male heart. What of Time Turner, one may ask? Not a Time Lord, she would say, he's only lord of Ponyville's clocks. And by way, Derpy Hooves is most certainly not his secret assistant playing dumb.
What about Lyra Hearstrings and all her odd behavior, though?! Certainly that must mean something!
Twilight would roll her eyes. A former 'Hamen' from another dimension? Really?! How would that even make sense? Scootaloo? Don't even bring her up. She's not a star child/spirit/changeling/[insert insane theory here], she's just a poor orphan filly down her luck. And don't get her started on on Captain 'Jack' Harness. He isn't immortal, nor does he lead a secret organization called Horsehood. He's a retired guardsman. His name isn't even 'Jack', it's Black!
There's more, but the jist has been gotten, save for one last thing:
For most certainly, and this is with beyond a doubt: none of these ponies, when the clock strikes one on a foggy night, are secretly meeting at the run-down Stallion Stanley Hotel to conspire against Ponyville.
... Right?
Grab your tinfoil hats and your bongs. It's going to be a mother fucking zany ride! BEEEYA!
I see dead people... Probably a side effect of the repeated smack injections into my EYES!!!!!! What? We all have our little problems... Don't judge me!!!! Oh and by the time you finish reading this and realise I've just wasted about 3 minutes of your life it's already too late my plan has Purple elephant! Seriously I could write anything and your curiosity would force you to read it. For example... Ahem... Hey butt brunch stop reading this! you limp cock filly fooling, celestial princess touching, plot whorshiping, cage fighting pansexual pony... MY LOGIC IS UNDENIABLE... and so is my spelling and gramma... I love you all!!!!
This should be great! I cannot wait.