Monthly Upd-IT'S MAH BIRTHDAY!!! · 1:08pm Jan 2nd, 2014
So, with the holidays and the fact I had to make two week's worth of work just before (So as to avoid having my workdays land on these arbitrary days), I haven't done much writing.
And it shows.
I'm only sitting on about 2300 words of the next MViaH chapter. But I'm working on it, and the hard parts should be over now.
Anyway, as the title says, today is my birthday! Woo! This is why I made this monthly update a day later than usual, so as to coincide with it. This is the anniversary of the very first time I found myself naked and crying in front of a bunch of strangers! That's ...something to celebrate, right?
And now, on this day of getting older, I decided to give you sexy followers a glimpse of my past.
I've always been a creative person, and up until a few years ago, my main output of art was through drawing. It was fun and a great way to pass the time in school, as I usually did well enough to not need to take any notes and thus needed something to do with my hands while absent-mindedly listening to the teachers.
But then I got done with school, found other, more immediate ways to entertain myself, and the well of drawings kinda ran dry. So I don't really draw anything anymore, to my great regret.
But I found that I still need some sort of creative output to be happy in life. Drawing used to fill a void in my life, where I could look at my stuff and say "I did that" and feel good about it. It was great, but just because I don't draw anymore doesn't mean that hole doesn't need to be filled anymore. So I started filling it with words instead, and on this very site just over a year ago. And it is just as fun as drawing.
But recently, while digging in my old stuff, I found an old school assignment that showed me that maybe, writing has been in me longer than I thought.
So before anyone else does it, let me ruin this special day by humiliating myself with an old half-assed school work, in all its poorly-formatted glory:
King of The Hill
There once was a great kind who ruled over a great kingdom. He had a daughter, said to be the most beautiful maiden of all times. Around the castle was a great land, said to be the most prosperous and fertile of all times. The only thing the king didn't like was the hill standing close to his castle. The hill was the only thing taller than the castle for the next hundreds of miles, earning it the nickname "Castleshader". The woods of the hill were said to be haunted, so hardly anyone ventured on the dark, gloomy path leading to the top, and even less built their homes on its slopes. Only one person lived on the hill. A hermit slept in a small, round, weatherworn brick house, which could be seen from far away with its high and pointy rooftop. The hermit called himself "the ruler", which annoyed the king( He was the ruler). Another thing annoying to the king was all the marriage demands he got for his daughter. He always refused them, but never said why. The day he fell sick, he finally explained why. He would allow his daughter to marry, but ONLY to the one who would be able to own a castle taller than his by the time he died. The word spread as fast as lightning and before the ordinary people even realized it, the princes from all over the country were hastily building their own castle, racing to see who would have the tallest castle at the end of the king's life. Even one rich merchant tried to win this improbable race and marry the princess to become the new king. in the meanwhile, the princess was desperate for her father. But the best healers in the world had said they couldn't cure him, so the princess spent her days crying in her room, which's only window pointed towards castleshader. After a while, she noticed Ivan(the hermit) was sawing trees off his hill aand uprooting them, creating six straight paths of desolation running from the top of the hill to its bottom. While many princes were building castles as close as a thousand feet from the hill, Ivan was just destroying his hill's forest, repeating tirelessly "I'm going to be king, king, king!" nobody cared about him. Everyone was too occupied by their own castle and the treachery of the others. Every prince hired mercenaries to sabotage each other's castles. The main contest was between Arthur, a noble prince from the west and Ichbald, a rich merchant. Arthur had the tallest castle so far, but Ichbald was very rich and could afford hundreds of sabotages. And since their two castles were on each side of castleshader, they would often meet to taunt each other in public, whilst Ivan kept sawing his trees and repeating his phrase "king, king, king!" and sometimes bending silently, as if to hear sounds in the ground. In the last days of the king's agony, Arthur's castle had just reached the same height than the king's, while Ichbald's was still several meters below. But Ichbald had his own little secret: he had hired alchemists to create something to destroy all his opponents' castles, which they called "dynamite"
That night, Ichbald's mercenaries carried the bag of dynamite right next to Arthur's castle, under a ledge in the forest, where no one would see it. Only Ivan saw them, and as they left, an enormous grin was on his face. The next day, at noon, right as the last stone was put on Arthur's castle, and as the king was gasping for air, the Boom (name given for the sound it made, slowly transformed into "bomb") was set off. Right when the last unneeded cement was scraped off, of Arthur's and Ichbald's castles, the terrible thunder of the explosion shook Arthur's entire castle. And while all castles except Ichbald's and the king's shook both constructed from better materials, Ichbald was in his castle, smiling. Then, all the castles collapsed, producing great clouds of dust, and the king expired. After a day of crying, during which none could see if there was a single castle left, the princess went to the highest window of the castle. What she saw bewildered her: as the dust was clearing, she could see only one castle left standing: the castle of Ivan. Ichbald's castle was almost collapsed, half buried under the earth which once was the western slope of castleshader. Where the hill once stood, a giant, golden fortress was standing. On top of the highest tower, which was as golden as the rest, except for the last floor, Ivan was standing proudly, waving his hand by the window of what was once thought to be a mere, withered hermit's house. Ivan knew that if he weakened the earth of castleshader by removing the trees and their roots, the hill would end up splitting apart.
Maybe Ivan wasn't so crazy after all: his castle was the only one still standing, it was taller than the king's, it was built by ancient people and owned by Ivan way before the king went to eternal slumber.
He married the princess the day after and became king, king, king!
Wow, that was almost painful to type.
I think the assignment was to write a short fairy tale or something, and I remember having to rush things along since there was a maximum word limit and I had already passed it with these 859 words.
If I had to do it again, it's definitely be a bit longer, less plot-holey, and I'd MAKE SOME GODDAMN PARAGRAPHS, but what's there still earned me an 'A', and the mention:
Extremely impressive [name redacted]
You should definitely submit this for publishing. It's great.
from the teacher. Oh well, I guess english-as-a-second-language teachers are supposed to be more lenient or something, because I frankly don't really agree.
And no, you're not supposed to think about the incredible loss of life that several dozens castles collapsing at once coupled with a massive landslide in the middle of an urban area would cause. I guess I got carried away when high explosives got involved. Thought it's still funny that when it came time to come up with a decent resolution to my fairy tale, the first thing that came to mind was "EXPLOSIONS WAAARGH!" Ah, typical teenage me...
Anyway, it was fun to reminisce a bit. I guess I'll see you next time! Have a good year everyone!
Hey, you'd got more than A for that going to school where I went. Same idea, with English as second-language.
I got my A for pretty much doing what we were told to do. The teacher was old, and, well, a bit special. We got assignments of the likes "write something about something, max 1000 words". Or we could spend part of the school-day watching the election in the US. Or reading about aliens. Anyone that mentioned anything about aliens seemed to get better grading as well.
Ah- Sorry for the rant, but what you said made me remember this teacher, he was one of the more eccentric ones, heh.
Anyways, Happy Birthsday! And Happy New Year! All the happy!
And,
this is probably one of the most strange ways to word that you were born.
I also laughed, thanks for random!
1675383
Thanks!
That teacher was actually a substitute for a month or so. I don't remember what the reason for that was, but the original teacher was pretty cool: he kept a few tables in the classroom dedicated to a sort of greenhouse full of plants, and he organized extra-curricular movie nights (Or movie lunch-periods, I'm not sure).
He was pretty chill, except the time he gave us an assignment to write a short story involving
onomotaOnomatopononTHE SOUND WORDS, and my work was apparently so good that he couldn't believe I hadn't stolen it from somewhere.My father wasn't very pleased about having his son falsely accused of cheating...
I've seen worse. Well, less funny and so much more gross:
"The anniversary of the time your face touched your mother's ****"