Story Reviews » Reviews! Round 56 · 4:26am Nov 11th, 2014
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
MEANWHILE, IN THE SEATTLE’S ANGELS
SECRET UNDERGROUND FORTRESS
AND TREE FORT
“Myeh,” Pav Fiera grunted, flopped out at the top of the staircase and generally being a tripping hazard for others. “Should we even bother with reviews for this round? I don’t even see a point.”
“Why, old bean, what ever do you mean?” asked Corejo.
Pav Peira twisted and squirmed his way to the edge of the balcony. Dangling his head and arms off the edge, he looked down below at the other Angels. “I dunno, it’s just some of these comments. People saying that we’re too pretentious, or circlejerky, or elitist. I mean, the whole point of doing these reviews was to help the community, y’know? So that they’d be exposed to lesser-known fics.” He let out a deflated sigh. “I dunno. Maybe we lost sight of what this is all about.”
Frowning and adjusting his monocle, Corejo looked up from his roast leg of panda. “Now now, what’s all this poppycock? Why, the people love us, Pav!”
“Quite right, quite right.” alexmagnet gave a gruff nod of approval whilst swimming laps through the literal swimming pool of money he had earned from reviewing. “We’re job creators, after all! We select the fics to be read, and that gives the poor unwashed masses something to read.”
“Trickle-down fanfiction!” Burraku Pansa cried out from his computer. With one final keystroke, he executed a script that generated dummy accounts to upvote the Angels’ selections.
“Rubbish, I say,” harrumphed Csquared, her voice muffled somewhat as she lay face-down on the massage table. Above her, a blond Swedish masseuse worked the stress from her shoulders. “We are well renowned, are we not?”
“Tis but Tall Poppy Syndrome, and nothing more. Whoa, Rosalina!” Belligerent Sock tightened his sleeper hold on the grizzly bear, until the mighty beast ceased its thrashing. “We are beautiful, and thus we are flawed.”
“Lest we forget,” said Professor Plum, looking up from his game of strip poker with President Obama, Scarlett Johansson, Emma Watson, and Elon Musk, “we were appointed to this most noble of tasks by divine providence. It is by this god-given right that our story recommendations are wrought into objective claims of superior craftsmanship.” President Obama nodded in agreement while removing his shirt.
“Aww, you guys.” Pav Fɛira wiped a single cliche tear from his eye. “Thanks for cheering me up. You’re right. We’re not doing this because it’s good. We do it, and therefore it is good.” He clapped his hands with a crisp rhythm. “Armondo! I wish to be downstairs now.”
A bulky man, shirtless and oiled down, responded to his summons. Cradling Pav Feika in his powerful arms, he lifted the Angel and carried him down the gilded staircase.
ROUND 56
STORY 1
Cool Jazz, by Owlor
Twilight Sparkle, like many progressively minded ponies, are drawn to the newly emerging equestrian jazz scene, where she's seduced by the music and the atmosphere. But as a mare more at home in a library than among ponies, she's not exactly well-equipped to deal with the finer point of social interaction in this environment.
I admit, I’m a bit of a sucker for live jazz. Maybe that’s my musically-inclined childhood speaking, but there’s just something about sitting in a dim room, the musicians on stage a few feet away, and just sitting there, listening as we all share in this experience together. Gone is the more classically-structured rhythm and melody; jazz speaks its own language. If writing has stream-of-consciousness, and art has expressionism, then music has jazz.
Look, if we’re going to take flak week after week for being too pretentious, then I’m going to earn it, dagnabbit!
That’s immediately what jumped out at me when reading Owler’s piece. Sure, it’s not without its raw elements, like a couple of run-on sentences or a surprisingly necessary Wikipedia hyperlink. But the atmosphere that the fic painted just sucked me in. Contrary to my previous point, I wouldn’t really consider this fic to be stream-of-consciousness, rather a mood piece. It well encapsulates what Twilight herself is feeling, as she gets swept up in the music. She’s pulled in by the jazz and the club itself, clearly out of her element and comfort zone. Yet despite all that, it speaks to her. She has her own eggheaded processing, her own symbolism and meaning, her own vantage point.
This sort of fic might not be for everyone, but I found it to be a thoroughly enjoyable scene. It makes its case nicely, doesn’t overstay its welcome, and ends on the perfect little zinger for a more lighthearted ending. If you’re in the mood for something short and enjoyable, I’d definitely give this a go.
No, NO! Not that kind of jazz!
Err, that’s… close enough?
Anyway, jazz! The music you all love to love! The way that sax swings, that piano flows, and that bazooka... bazookas. It’s a thing. I learned it while reading this fic.
Twilight is no different in her love for the sweet sound of soul. Except that she loves it in a very analytical fashion. Owlor digs deep with this one. Here is a beautifully crafted mindset that fits Twilight to a tee. By Celestia did he take his perspective and run, but I doubt anyone would say he ran in the wrong direction.
From the get-go, you can feel the Twilight shining through in the narrative. Analytical, observant, but never overbearingly so. Actions come and go in time with the narrative, as does dialogue. It struck me as odd that some points in the story he chose to tell dialogue rather than use it, but the way it’s handled never hindered my enjoyment.
The story itself is a quick read, almost as quick as it’ll take you to read all these reviews. And that ending is far too perfect.
STORY 2
Home, by RBDash47
As Hearth's Warming nears, Applejack celebrates in her own private way.
HEY GUISE CAN WE START TALKING ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS NOW?!
Actually, no, let’s not.
Ahem. While Hearth’s Warming might be the framing device for this fic, let’s discuss what the fic is actually about: family. Like the politically-correct branding tells us, families come in all different shapes and sizes. Some get along like peas in a pod, others have strange circumstances that they must overcome, and there’s a few that don’t even see eye to eye. But families like Applejack’s are truly inseparable. A tightly knit family unit such as this one is full of special moments, treasured memories, and time-honored traditions.
Reading through a story like this, it becomes pretty apparent right away that this is being written from the heart. But that sentiment is only further crystallized upon reading the author’s notes and seeing how true to life the tale truly was. I was recently discussing this topic at length with another group, but I feel that putting something of yourself into your story is a way to make it truly impact the audience. Certainly it’s not a requirement for all fics to be so deep, nor for them to be so heavily derived from real events; simple, lighthearted tales have their place, without a doubt. But nothing compares when attempting to connect with your reader on an emotional level. I don’t strictly mean sad fics, but rather, any tale of complex “feels”. Sure, any writer can force an emotion through their piece, such that the reader feels happy or sad, but those are very monotone expressions. Real human emotions are often more complex, coming through on multiple wavelengths, cumulative and conflicting and raw.
In a story like Home, you can really feel that truth shine through in the work. Yes, being based around very similar real-world circumstances helps, but moreso than that, you can feel the author’s emotion here. This was something cherished and meaningful, painful yet bittersweet, ever forward moving. It’s a true treat when an author shares such a personal sentiment with us.
Family is everything.
What makes a family special is the time you spend with them, the way your lives are always anchored in each other’s. The memories you make with them are what stay with you forever.
This is that kind of story.
Applejack has the house to herself due to inclement weather, and she takes the time to reflect on a tradition passed down to her by her mother. Sentiment is the mainstay if this story, and it’s apparent RBDash47 writes from experience. Read the author’s notes for that.
Don’t let the Sad tag fool you. This isn’t a sad story. Bittersweet is more accurate. It takes a simple action—baking, something that on its own means nothing—and gives it an emotion only human experience can give it. Memories are everywhere in our lives. How we choose to remember them is unique to each of us.
It’s a very short story, the seeming trend of this round. But unlike the others, this one really stays with you. It leads a slower pace than the others, not simply for the setting, but for the meaning: life is to be cherished. And it’s moments like these in our own lives that make it worth living, and remembering those you love.
Spring Sunshine, self-declared leader of Canterlot's SOS Brigade and seeker of humans, time travelers and superheroes, has decided to go to Ponyville for this year's All Flowers Festival at the height of springtime. Her mission: to seek out and find that giver of candy eggs and other gifts, the Flower Hare. With her for the ride are Snowflake (secretly a transformed human), Rosehips (secretly a time traveler from the future), Green Arbor (secretly a part-time superhero), and "Shiny" (an ordinary pegasus who writes regular reports to Princess Celestia). With a group like this, and a town like Ponyville, misadventure is inevitable...
Yes, Phazon our loyal readers, it is a rare sight when the Angels will visit upon a crossover, but today is that day. And if the title, description, and cover weren’t a dead enough giveaway, this fic blends up The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya with a dash of poneponepone.
Don’t give me that look. There was only one possible thing to put here. I’d get people yelling at me if I didn’t put this here.
Now, at this point, you’re either having one of two reactions. Either I just triggered your Endless Eight PTSD, or like Corejo you’re asking yourself, “What is a Harui?” (sic) Well, you’re in luck, dear reader! If you want the standpoint of someone familiar with the crossover material, keep reading. If you don’t watch teh animez and are looking for an outsider’s perspective, skip on down to Corejo’s review.
Okay, is it just us now? *adjusts his fedora and licks his Cheeto fingers* SOS-Dan Equestria is effectively a pony reimagining of Haruhi, written by a Haruhi fan for Haruhi fans. That does mean that the secret identities of all the SOS-Dan are revealed, including Haruhi’s. If you haven’t finished the first season of the anime, massive spoilers ahoy. You might wanna finish up S1 first and then hop back to this. The whole cast is here, but rather than actual Kyon, we get his Captain Ersatz pony version, Shiny. Same deal with Haruhi—Spring Sunshine—and the others. And sure enough, Shiny is snarky, Spring Sunshine is a hyperactive ball of bipolar energy, Rosehips cannot explain what’s happening due to “classified information”, and so forth.
Two immediate questions arise. First, isn’t this completely inaccessible to a non-Haruhi fan? Well, Corejo’s review will address that viewpoint, but it’s completely fair to say that this fic does not follow one of the general pieces of advice for crossovers: being welcoming to a newcomer to the series. Sure, Shiny’s narration does give you a quick recap of who has what abilities, but for a one-shot there’s just not enough time to ramp-up a newbie. This is pretty explicitly written for Haruhi fans. Now accessibility is a good rule-of-thumb, yet I wouldn’t say that this fic commits a cardinal sin. Haruhi is (or was, I guess it did come out a few years ago at this point) a fairly popular anime, and there’s a decent weeaboo cross-section in the brony fandom, so odds are decent that you’ve heard of this one, unlike some more obscure crossovers. Explaining the Haruhi plotline in any more detail than what’s seen in this fic would require multiple chapters to effectively rehash the first season. So, writing for fans and skipping straight to the good stuff has its advantages.
Secondly, if the cast just has a bunch of Captain Ersatz, couldn’t we just have Kyon-in-Equestria, or just skip the middle man and make this a Haruhi fic, sans pone? Possibly to the first (pros and cons), but I’d avidly refute the latter. This is definitely a pone fic, featuring pone themes. I harp on this a lot, and it’s been stated far better by one of this round’s featured authors, but a crossover needs to be more than the sum of its parts. Adding ponies doesn’t make the story more appealing via pandering; it enriches. Whether it’s Shiny being the only pegasus of the SOS-Dan and the challenges this introduces, or interfacing with canon characters like Twilight, or the joint mythos and lore that get explored, it serves to make this tale more than just “Haruhi with ponies.” It’s really a merger of the two.
Anyway, this has already ran far too long. If you’re a Haruhi fan, you’re probably already sold, and I’m pretty confident you’ll get exactly what you came looking for. If you’re on the fence, keep reading for Corejo’s perspective.
So yeah, this story. This was an interesting one. Let me preface this review by saying that I had never heard of "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" until Pav suggested this story. We debated whether or not we should review this one on the grounds that it’s very much esoteric, but I gave it the greenlight for two main reasons: the writing isn’t bad, and we don’t feature nearly enough crossovers. That, and I figured it’d be best if we had two perspectives on this story, one who understands the crossover and one completely in the dark. Although Belligerent Sock was kind enough to inform me it’s basically the lovechild of Dragon Ball Z and Attack on Titan. Hey, I’m game for that.
What I like about this story is that, from what I can tell, it isn’t afraid to be heavy on the Haruhi side of things. The characters seemed more integrated with Equestria rather than just “Haruhi goes to Equestria.” I get the sense that Kris Overstreet knows what they’re doing with their characters’ characterization, and the protagonist, Shiny, and her charge, Spring Sunshine, do shine (heh) through. (If you are a non-Haruhi fan like me and read this, keep in mind those are two separate characters. It took me a good thousand words to figure it out.) Shiny is well portrayed through her internal monologue, and it’s easy to smirk at her comic relief and misfortune (“So, still no help with the luggage? Oh, my aching back.”)
How close to the anime they are I couldn’t tell you, but it’s definitely good enough to keep me reading. Sadly, though, I found the other characters too flat to relate to—not so much out of poor writing but out of lack of exploration. I feel safe in assuming they’re accurate (and any Haruhi fan please let me know if I am wrong), but they just weren’t given any real screen time to fully develop, a side effect of already being established in another medium and the fact this is only a one-shot. They do their job. Not much more to ask of them. Except Power Rangers. That was interesting.
As with a majority of stories we feature, there’s always a ‘but’ paragraph(s). (Or as Pav has agreed we should call it: a butt paragraph. Cause, you know, we always do the caveats at the end of a review. Shut up, it’s funny!) There are a lot of exclamation points in this story! Really! They’re, like, everywhere! Snarkiness aside, shouting is often a thing in animes. I get that. But in writing, it can be left out. (Yeah, it’s a nitpick, but that’s what a review is.)
The main incident of the story revolves around a heavy-handed reference, specifically Derpy, which I found rather clumsily handled.. There are numerous other references I found more than annoying (because really, if your story is already a crossover, aren’t there enough references?), but once the team was able to get into the action in their signature way, I found it more than readable.
Shouting, clumsy references, and being out of the loop are the only things that’d keep you from enjoying this story. The last of those isn’t really much of a hurdle, though, so if that’s the only thing keeping you, don’t let it.
I should probably start watching this show.
STORY 4
Half-Baked, by Aquaman
Cooking is a delicate process that requires both patience and attention to detail. Rainbow Dash is the fastest flier in Equestria. Bring the two together, and things get real interesting real fast.
Now, Half-Baked hails back from way in the day, October of 2011 to be precise. And to an extent, it shows. We see a fair number of older references, simpler characters, and even an older meme or three. The fact that this was written as part of a speedfic competition further accentuates these traits.
Certainly, the return of the phrase “ten seconds flat” is a blast from the past.
But herein lies its charm, particularly with the benefit of hindsight now. Season 2 had not aired yet, by this point. It’s a Dangerous Business and Past Sins had just started up, whereas Fallout: Equestria had not yet even begun. (Surprisingly, it seems that Fimfic was already a thing back at this point. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that we’ve been around since such an early point in the fandom.) And sure, I rattled off a few expansive reference points there, hundreds of thousands of words of worldbuilding and adventure.
But in remaining shorter, simpler, sweeter, Half-Baked captures something special from that era of the fandom. Regardless of your feelings on recent seasons, there seems to be a general consensus about the first season. It had a magical feeling to it, simple tales and gentle morals. The worst we had in drama was an episode that could be vaguely misinterpreted as anti-science, and the most complicated plot was about when a built-up moment doesn’t live up to your expectations.
This is the manner of vibe captured in Half-Baked. Like an unearthed time capsule, we see a glimpse of the fandom and their mindset back in the S1 era. The lighthearted fare and simple challenge (ahem, with the slightest brony twist) do the fic a service, harkening back to an earlier, rosy-colored days of the fandom. If it’s a kick of nostalgia you’re looking for, look no further.
Baking! You put stuff into the oven, and out comes delicious treats ready to eat. It’s like magic! Except for Rainbow Dash.
This story comes to you as a blast from the past, an oldie from the days when that one season two countdown timer thing was still a thing. (I can’t find a picture of it. :() It’s always nice to look back on ponyfic as it’s progressed through the years, and I’d say this is as good as any to flip back a few pages of time and give a read.
First, let’s get this out of the way, yes, there are season one memes in here. Rainbow Dash ones, specifically. If that’s a no-go for you, well, then tough. If you aren’t writhing on the floor at the mention, then stay with me.
The writing is brief. Aquaman keeps the story going without bogging it down with unnecessary words or asides. It’s kept punchy, which sells the comedy wonderfully. I’ll admit most of the happening is done off stage, so we never really see much of the actual comedy, but how he uses inference and character interaction to convey what has happened makes it all the more worth reading. Not too many people are good at that.
In… two hours?
>My face when.
Give this story a whirl. For the nostalgia, if nothing else. It won’t disappoint.
The porchlight to the secret underground base snapped open. Corejo poked his head out the door, looking out with bleary-eyed that snapped wide with alarm. Stepping outside, he quickly stomped down upon the burning paper bag on their doorstep, extinguishing the flames and also ruining his Gucci slipper. He sighed with relief, now that the danger had passed, and yet something else took ahold of his interests: a note beside the paper bag, painstakingly clipped by hand, secured from the breeze by a large rock. He bent down, lifted the note, and held it up to the gaslight for examination.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Literally the best.
Post more Sonata.
trickle down equinomics.
Pav Fiera
Pav Peira
Pav Fɛira
Pav Feika
Pav forgot how to spell his name again. And once again, all is truly right with the world. Still waiting for him to call himself Pav Fedora though...
Oh right, reviews!
2587674
It wasn't all his idea! I was the one who suggested setting the bag of money on fire. Hey, it seemed funny.
I wanted to set the note on fire too, to demonstrate the oppression of the authorial proletariat and symbolically foreshadow the inevitable destiny of the hegemony come the revolution, but Present vetoed it. He said I'd just end up with a burning sleeve again, running around screaming and flailing my arms until the inevitable fall from a bridge into a barrel full of bees.
He says nobody likes flaming bees. Frankly, I'm not convinced.
Well, making duck-lips at us isn't going to help, Corejo.
2587685
Yes, post more Sonata.
2587722
Pav Fiera
Pa v
/\
Pa
Fie
raTriangle name. Illuminati confirmed.
2588021
I may or may not have a few I've been sitting on, waiting for a month to go by since they were published.
SO DON'T YOU FRET, MISTER
Looking through the rec thread (Basically to keep a list of which recommended fics get reviewed and who recommended them. Because obviously I do that.), I noticed that Bad Horse recommended Cool Jazz nearly a year ago. Damn, and you guys are just now featuring it. Makes me wonder if Bad Horse's recommendation had any influence on your decision to look at this one.
I actually think most people don't have high enough standards. Sometimes even Seattle's Angels isn't picky enough.
2587722
Pav Fedora is the name reserved for me upon reaching nirvana. My current humble form is not prepared to handle such euphoria.
2587887
What's this? A barrel full of flaming bees? A large influx of bees ought to put a stop to that!
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2588571
...bah, now I actually have to make a serious reply
But no, that's a completely legitimate criticism. While our criteria isn't completely rigid, as a good rule of thumb we're looking for something at least a few months old (the older the better), and ideally no more than 1000 views. One of the founding principles of the group, then, is that popularity is not synonymous with quality, and that there are many fics with low viewcounts that really deserve a second shot at the spotlight.
That said, between word-of-mouth, the group system, and even the Featured Box, it's pretty rare for an absolute masterpiece to disappear with 300 views. Most fics that deserve 5k+ views have already earned it (though granted it's not universal, and naturally there are some fics that are over-hyped). Seattle's Angels has played its part in helping a few fics cross this arbitrarily-selected 5k line, but realistically, not all of our recommendations will resonate with the community to that extent. These are fics that are definitely worth your time, but in fairness they aren't necessarily the next [insert name of masterpiece].
If you're looking for something a bit more selective, The Royal Canterlot Library's siteposts might be more up your alley.
How posh. Must have gotten more insurance money from some unwitting company. Please do tell how you find these wonderfully generous suckers.
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Fimfic comments
Swimming in a pool of money isn't actually all that great. Well, unless you use something other than coins or paper as currency...
What a coincidence. I just got finished suffering through both seasons of Haruhi (I've yet to see the Disappearance movie). I've come to the conclusion that this is one of the most overblown, flash-in-the-pan, "This is what all the fuss is about?!" shows I've ever seen in my life. I find Mikuru and Haruhi incredibly irritating; Mikuru's voice grates on me and she's so pathetic that even Fluttershy would pity her, and Haruhi is a bossy bully who everyone else hangs out with not because they enjoy her company and value her as a friend, but because they want to keep this stupid girl from ending the world by accident. In addition, the incessant meta-commentary on anime tropes, in addition to giving Haruhi an excuse to dictate Mikuru's outfit like a creep, reminds me of Scream, another popular thing that I find insufferable.
I'll give this story a shot, because hopefully the writer will be able to excise some of the garbage from the show (though not all of it, because we wouldn't have a show without these people being beholden to this twit).
Thanks!
I really need to find time to continue the -other- Haruhi-MLP thing I've posted on...
2589051 The novels the anime is based off of are much better. That said, Haruhi isn't any more considerate in them, so if her attitude is what puts you off the show, you're better off just letting it go. (Oh, and if such is the case, you will NOT like the movie.)
2589224
Yeah, I heard that Endless Eight was based on a story that didn't feel like pulling teeth or watching anime Gerry.
2589240 Yeah, "Endless Eight" is only about forty pages and only depicts the final loop.
How have we reached the point where fanfic reviewers can be accused of elitism? What would there even be for you guys to be elitist about?
Oh, well, nice self-parody regardless. I particularly liked:
...so, you're just now catching up with my recommendations from last year?
Anyway, nice to see Cool Jazz get some attention.
Maybe you'll do The King of Carrot Flowers next time...
2589633 A bit, yeah.
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The King of Carrot Flowers, you say? Ask Casca. Also... too many views? Is 1,300+ too many for a two year old story?
2589224
Actually, after seeing the movie and rethinking the series, I think I was a bit too hard on it. I still think the hype isn't really justified and I'm disappointed with how sparsely it's updated (three years since the last book?), but I can see that she is (slowly) getting better and that there is an actual emotional core to this, with better character arcs than I gave it credit for.
I almost hate to admit this, but I'm tempted to write a fic for this series. What's holding me back is the fact that the writing has a particular style to it that I'd need to research further to emulate, and the knowledge that some Haruhi fans will probably cry foul (it would be my own idea for a series finale since y'all might never get a real one at this rate).
2591054 The original author is currently writing two spinoff Haruhi-related manga (one of which is slated to be released as an anime in 2015, I believe) and a third unrelated one, so I for one can understand his not having time for more Haruhi if he doesn't have a solid story in mind.
That said, I repeat my recommendation of the books, which I feel are much better than either anime or manga- and, for your purposes, would be best way to get a feel for Kyon's snarky, not-always-reliable narrative style. All ten are available in English- I sell them in my 'day job' as a convention and online vendor, and Amazon and other online outlets have them, and it's possible a large library might have a couple of them as well.
Fun story: Endless Eight made me give up on anime for a couple of years.
But I guess I could give the ponified version a try.